Because its now 2012. Really, really annoying, not to mention irresponisble.
I noticed you improved.Author's Response: This is literally the first time I've been on this site since I last updated (about two years ago). I would agree that "annoying" is the correct word, but... "irresponsible", not really. It's true that I probably won't ever complete this. I know this is going to sound rude, and I don't mean for it to be... but I have no obligation to complete it. This is fanfiction. Life comes first--and that, my dear, is responsibility.
I certainly DO apologize for abandoning this, though! I really do. I feel bad, and I actually liked this story when I began it. But things change over time, unfortunately. So, I'm sorry about this. It pains me probably more than it pains you, haha.
So, once again, I'm sorry. I've moved on from HPFF. Report Review
I wish your chapters were still as long as they were in the beginning. I can now blow through your chapters within two minutes. Report Review
I literally read all the chapters back to back. This story is just incredible. Please keep writing and update as soon as you can. Report Review
I love your story!! ThanksAuthor's Response: And thank you! :D Report Review
This chapter was written wonderfully. I really love that you finally updated, and I am so looking forward to the next one. Great chapter, well done!Author's Response: Whoo-hoo! I'm happy to hear that! I really AM sorry that it's taken me so long to update. I really am. So, I'll try to update with the next chapter as fast as I can (hopefully before months and months pass). :)
Thanks for the review, and thanks for sticking with my sporadic update schedule! Report Review
This is extremely good writing, a fine addition to the fandom of Harry Potter. I love the conflict, the reality, the truth in this story. Very revealing. Well done!Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad that you like it. Hopefully I'll get a chance to update in the near future. Report Review
I'm so glad you continue this fic. Hope the next xhapter won't need a delay like this one.Author's Response: Ha, I hope so, too! I don't think I'll take so long next time! =) Report Review
Aaw *squish* I love Rose and Scorpius!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you love them--I do, too! Hehe! Report Review
I loved the descriptions about Scorpius' eyes. You did a really good job in this. Great job with this entire story. You're very consistent and very good at writing. Great job!Author's Response: Yay! Thanks so much! I'm really thankful that you took the time to read this entire thing and review all of it. I really appreciate your time and effort, and I hope you have fun checking out other people's fanfictions! Good luck on getting those 1000 reviews! Report Review
awww back together/almost. I chuckled at the line where you mentioned how creative Scorpius' parents were to name him after the horoscope. That's really clever right there. This was another good chapter. I see improvement on each chapter. You are continuing to be a grammar whiz. Way to go!Author's Response: Haha, back together/almost. That's great--I love the way you just worded that! Ha, yeah... whenever I think of Scorpius' name, I always think of the constellation and stuff--and how not-creative Draco was! Hehe.
Thanks so much! I'm glad I'm improving! Report Review
I really like how everything is sort of coming together. Albus admits what has been keeping him from not doing his duties. You did a really good job holding it together this long. I like this story a lot. I love all the characterizations. I really think Rose and Scorpius need to get back together. I'm a sucker for a good romance. I'd love it!Author's Response: Haha, oh, me, too. I have to read and write romances... it's my passion!
I'm so glad I've kept it together--it's so long and complex that I've been worried about forgetting some information. Thank goodness I haven't yet!
Thanks so much! Report Review
Loved the ending line. Oh, I hope they get back together. You are going to make readers really want to get to the next chapter quick. Catch her, Scorpius. They do love each other, I can see it.Author's Response: Yeah, gotta love those types of endings. Actually, I hate them. Whenever I want to stop reading and go to bed, I always get stuck with the cliffhangers and have to keep reading! xD Report Review
I love Scorpius and Rose together. It just makes me smile!Author's Response: Yay! I think their relationship must be improving, then? Or at least the way I write it now? How exciting! Report Review
Another good chapter!Author's Response: Thanks so much! Report Review
I love your professor F in this. He's great. This is another really good chapter. I don't really have any CC for it. Sorry, my reviews are now awfully short. I'm trying though! I am.Author's Response: Oh, gosh, no, it's okay! Don't worry about the length of your reviews--just the fact that you're taking the time to read and make comments is perfect! And if you don't have any CC, great! That's actually a good thing--nothing to improve! So, thanks so much! I really do appreciate your time! Report Review
Yay, they're dating!Author's Response: Yes, thank goodness! Took long enough, yeah? Report Review
good chapter, I don't have much to say about this one.Author's Response: Hehe, that's a good thing, then! Nothing bad! Haha. Thanks! Report Review
awww showing affection for each other.
I still feel as if their relationship is much too harsh. Try softening a bit.
And Scorpius blushing, would be a good comeback for a slight kiss but I don't think he would be too embarrassed. He's a teenage boy for goodness sake. Good chapter.Author's Response: Eek, still have to work on that, evidently. That six month break didn't do too much, huh? Heh.
True. I think since it's his best friend, though... gotta be careful with those ones. If you screw up, you lost a friend... He might be embarrassed by it.
Thanks! Report Review
I think this was a cute chapter, showing different sides of Scorpius and Rose. I'm sorry, my reviews are going to get shorter and shorter from here on out most likely because I've already reviewed seven of your chapters. Haha, and I can only review long reviews for so long!
I really this your improving. There's something else I picked up. You said SCorpius sneered once, I think you should fix some of the adjectives or words you use to describe how people are speaking. Sneered, is really harsh there. It's for more enemies. Instead of sneered think about using other words.
Other words like sneered, but much more gentler are:
and words like that. Make your writing gentler. It's a good chapter. The twenty questions was cute!Author's Response: Oh, I know what you mean! It gets so tiring... =)
Okay, that makes sense. I actually can't remember the last time I used the word sneered, so I think I'm starting to get away from those nasty words! Yay! Up until someone evil pops up, you know.
Thanks so much! That's a good suggestion! Report Review
I absolutely loved the part how you incorporated the muggle boy. How mean of him to slap her. Slap her, honestly? For goodness sakes what a stupid boy. I loved that flashback. I really liked it because you can make the reader relate. You can make the reader think back to when they believed in fairytales and princesses. You force the reader to remember their childhood like that. You have them thinking, and remembering. The best stories are the ones that someone can relate to.
The best stories are also ones that leave readers asking questions in their heads about what will happen next. The best story will be one where readers are dying for a new chapter. Are ready to see what's going to happen next.
I read in your author's note that you took a six month break from writing fan fiction. I really like, the fact you could come back and be able to continue this story a lot. I see a lot of improvement from the last chapter to this one. You did a good job being more fluid in your writing. It's more mature. Good chapter!Author's Response: Exactly. I loved fairytales and princesses. I was obsessed with Disney (actually, I still am, but that's beside the point). I think everyone can relate to that--even the boys. They all wanted to be superheroes. This, at least, might strike that memory.
Oh, yeah, I've been taking a lot of breaks... I think the last time I updated this (before chapter eighteen) was in September. Almost a year ago. I'm proud of myself for being able to come back, but at the same time, I'm disappointed for leaving. But I'm glad you can see an improvement! Report Review
Before I read this chapter I read the reviews that people had wrote for it. Something, I normally don't do. I really must agree with the fact that I love how you are adding more and more dimensions to Rosie. But the fact is we barely know scorpius.
I feel like what we know of him is flat. He seems snappy, and moody and I can tell you best friends really don't act that way. I think you should work on him and Rose's friendship. But most importantly, don't be so balanced on Rose's character. Don't be so focused on her. There are so many characters in this story that you can work on. Scorpius and Albus for example. And what about Rose's other girl friends and what not? She has to have mor ethan Scorpius.
Good job staying on. The plot is unraveling well. You're focused, and writing with no mistakes on Grammar. It's a clean piece of writing.Author's Response: True. Rose really is the center of attention, especially since it's in first person. I think later on I try to incorporate other characters better, but I know I just need a... slumber party chapter or something. Just something with all the girls.
Thanks for pointing that out! Report Review
Oh, how I love Ron in this. And I loved the flashback. That right there is what I am talking about- they seem like friends. I can see right from the start you are still having problems with Rose and Scorpius' relationship. I don't want to sound harsh, I don't want to sound rude. But that is the one thing that bothers me in this story.
The: Oh I like your shirt part, made me giggle a little bit. It's cute how they are young and flirting.
Best friends occassionally will flirt with each other too. My advice is still to look at how you and your best friend act. Are you this snappish with each other? I think you need to make their friendship a bit kinder.
Good job with the characterizations other than that. I loved the flashback.
I like it other than that.Author's Response: Oh, gosh, you don't sound harsh OR rude! It's all really helpful! Maybe it's pathetic of me, but I guess I write little kids better. I connect with them, or something.
Haha, my best friend and I have word wars. It's hilarious. We're not THAT snappish with each other, but we have so many playful fights... And we've never been in a single real fight since we became friends! I'll work on the friendship... since obviously, I need to!
Thanks so much! Your criticism is awesome! Report Review
I really like everything but... The one thing I am irked about is Scorpius and Rosies' relationship as friends.
Best mates or not, they don't even seem very close as friends. I really think you need to work on streamlining their relationship so that they are more like best mates. They bicker, they fight, and I'm not saying that best friends don't do that. Of course they do... My best friend and I are currently in a fight.
But the way you wrote their friendship doesn't really sit right with me. It seems off. I'd say is focus on how people who are best friends communicate in real life then you can write it like that.
Hope that helped.Author's Response: Oh, I totally understand what you're saying. Character development in that sense has always been my weak point. And this was written so long ago (two years?) that it was STILL weak. I think now I'm getting better, so I think I can go back and fix it. It just might take a while.
Thanks for pointing it out! I appreciate it! Report Review
Rose's dream confused me, I'm guessing that will get sorted out later on in the story? I like the fact that you went into such vast descriptions in it though.
It's interesting about how you chose to write about a dream journal. It's a nice way of combining classes in hogwarts to real life dreams and such like that.
Rose seems very focused on the dream. I like how you made dreams a bit part of her life. All in all, i'm pretty confused about it.Author's Response: Yeah, other people have been confused by it, too. But, yes, it'll be sorted out later. I won't say any more than that.
Thanks! I'm glad you liked that!
Heh, you'll probably be confused later, too. It'll all make sense later! Report Review
In this chapter you really pick up the pace. I think it's interesting that you have made Scorpius and Rose best friends. I mean, in a lot of people's stories they do that as well but yours has a completely different twist to it. The only thing, Rose and Scorpius seem to talk to each other so formally, it's almost robotic.
I think you should concentrate on working how they talk to each other. They are snapish, and somewhat crabbish towards eachother as if they sit on their own high horses. I think you should work on makig it so that they are more like teenagers, somewhat less care free than you are portraying them to be.
You're doing a good job. It's only that they seem too much like adults and not enough like friends.
I like the twists you are adding, you're continuing to be pretty consistent in your writing, showing no grammar issues or anything. I just feel as you could work on the communication between the characters a bit more. Then you could be golden.Author's Response: Yeah, a lot of people have said that. I probably was just trying to get my word count up! xD I'll go back and fix that!
Thanks for suggesting that!
I appreciate your criticisms--they're awesome! Report Review
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