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27 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ANightingaleInAGoldenCage a vampires beginning

1st April 2017:
Hi, Tammi!

I'm here for Capture the Flag! This story has a lot of promising things in it, to be honest, and I absolutely love the struggle Lucinda is going through as she's trying to adjust to life as a Vampire. My heart broke when she was still shocked by the fact that she had no reflection and the fact that she is so emotional because her parents aren't coming, is breaking me too. After all, I can't imagine it being her fault that she got bitten in the first place.
However, I would advise to edit this story. There are a lot of comma's and points missing and it's quite distracting - for me at least. I know editting might be horrible for you as it is for me, but it would definitely benefit this story if it would be done. It would make some sentences read a lot better too, as I had to go back a couple of times to see exactly what you meant by it.
That being said, I will definitely get back to this story and see how Molly and Arthur will help with her adjustment to it all, because I am totally intrigued now. After all, the only vampire I can think of is Sanguini but I'm not sure if the Weasleys actually know the guy. They were very IC though, so well done!

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Review #2, by AbraxanUnicorn a vampires beginning

1st April 2017:
Somewhere, lurking in one of your stories, is a flag we would like to capture. Hello, again!

Well, this is a bit of a sad start to a story. A lone, fourteen year old girl who has been in St Mungo's Hospital for several days, and not even her parents have visited? No wonder she's sad and doesn't want to eat anything. I suppose even if she wasn't sad, the fact that she's getting soup for breakfast would probably have put her off anyway, but that's by the by...

Okay, so she has no reflection in a mirror, therefore must be a ghost or a vampire. Given the title of this story, I'm plumping for the latter (just call me Detective Brax. No, really). So, she recognises something has changed within her and she seems to have some grasp as to what has gone on. I'm guessing the lack of a reflection isn't really a surprise, despite her reaction. Poor girl :(

Ooh, and red-headed people? Must be Weasleys, surely? Yay! Weasleys! The mention of a bite makes me suspicious that this fic is set during the time of Arthur Weasley's snake bite (Order Of The Phoenix - Christmas 1995)? Of course it must be!

I'm so glad the lovely Weasleys are being kind to Lucida, especially if her parents won't visit because of what she has become.

Couple of misuses of the word "of" - "could of" and "take that hood of".

This is certainly an intriguing start to a story; I'm keen to find out what's going to happen next? Hopefully, more stuff that includes the Weasleys (but hopefully she won't bite any of them).

A great first chapter :)

Brax X

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Review #3, by NymphadoraLupin Torn between two houses

16th December 2011:
Aw thank you for the dedication it made my week! Another amazing chapter as usual:) hurry up and update soon!
Big Love NymphadoraLupin
P.S do you have tumblr? If you do, wanna be tumblr buddies? :)

Author's Response: Aww thank you so much! and you totally deserved that dedication :-D you keep me updating the story hehe which I shall update soon.
I do have a tumblr actually and we can so be tumblr buddies! I should be evenangelshavenightmares - I don't do much on there haha.


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Review #4, by NymphadoraLupin Beautiful when angry

12th December 2011:
Finally updated! Don't worry you haven't lost me as a reader, I was ecstatic when I saw you updated! Hurry up and update soon please, don't take another century!!

Author's Response: YAY! I'm so glad you were so happy to see I had updated, that makes this all worth while! :-D You're always so nice to me and I'm so glad that you still like the story. I won't take forever to update this time, next chapter is going into the queue now :-p x

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Review #5, by NymphadoraLupin A detention with Ron

7th August 2011:
I LOVE this story!! Hurry and update! Great job girlies :) 10/10

Author's Response: Why thank you :-D We shall be updating this story soon, we were just focused on our other stories. But We are so glad that you've enjoyed.
Thank you for your review x


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Review #6, by dracos_hotter Does punching a Slytherin relieve stress?

7th May 2010:
Bad Ron! Nasty! I hope he gets in muchos troubles.

xE

Author's Response: Haha yes he does get into trouble for it in the next chapter. Thanks for reading x

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Review #7, by dracos_hotter A terrible discovery

7th May 2010:
Nice one, Drakie poo. Haha!

xE

Author's Response: :-D thanks for reviewing

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Review #8, by dracos_hotter Swapping tactics

7th May 2010:
Oi -- food is an exception of transfiguration! Didn't you read book seven? =D

xE

Author's Response: I must say that we wrote this just a few weeks after reading the fifth book, so it was already finished before the seventh book came out. So we didn't know you couldn't x

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Review #9, by dracos_hotter Party in the Dungeons

7th May 2010:
Liking Blaise...

"*silence*" Aaargh no description?

xE

Author's Response: haha thank you I like Blaise :-D

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Review #10, by dracos_hotter I am a Half-breed

7th May 2010:
Nasty Umbridge. I hate that woman! I have entirely no sympathy for her, ever.

xE

Author's Response: We really hate Umbridge too! :-D thanks for reading x

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Review #11, by dracos_hotter Pansy’s revenge

4th May 2010:
The suspense kills me... Stupid Umbridge. Stupid Pansy.

xE

Author's Response: They are horrible people aren't they? thanks for reading and reviewing x

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Review #12, by dracos_hotter Formal introduction to Draco

4th May 2010:
Oh dear...

But at least there's Draco action!

xE

Author's Response: You've gotta love Draco action ;-p

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Review #13, by dracos_hotter Guess Who

4th May 2010:
Umbridge... *shudders in disgust* EWEWEWEWEW ew.

xE

Author's Response: haha I love your reactions to that chapters :-D xx

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Review #14, by dracos_hotter she’s gonna eat me - Ron for lunch

4th May 2010:
Oh no, I hope Hogwarts isn't hell. That would be bad =S

xE

Author's Response: Hogwarts can't be hell it's one of the best places on earth x

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Review #15, by dracos_hotter ‘I said SERIOUSLY George not SIRUS-LY!’

4th May 2010:
Bahahaha Sirius=love.

xE

Author's Response: I love Sirius *swoon* :-D thanks for reading and reviewing x

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Review #16, by dracos_hotter have you seen what she’s doing to my younger brother?

4th May 2010:
Cheers for twins... always fun =)

xE

Author's Response: I do love to write the twins they are so funny x

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Review #17, by dracos_hotter The kiss of life

4th May 2010:
Wow, these chapters are so long! I never manage to write this much... I'm jealous!

I don't like Ron much. Ever. He'll always be The One Who Walked to me, so... bring on the ferret. Loveable ferret he is.

xE

Author's Response: Oh wow you don't need to be jealous :-D I kinda like Ron but I myself do prefer Draco ( I would always choose Draco over him :-D) x

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Review #18, by dracos_hotter going to gp

4th May 2010:
"let us know what you think"

Chick, (or chicks, depending on who reads this I guess) I think you need to get yourself a beta. This story has so uch going for it -- it has an amazing plotline -- but all the mistakes kind of make it hard to read.

If you like, I could beta it. Just say the word.

xE

Author's Response: Sorry about the mistakes and thanks for the offer to beta it, I may take you up on that :-D We may go back and edit things at a later date. Thanks for thinking that the plotline was great :-D xx

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Review #19, by dracos_hotter a vampires beginning

4th May 2010:
I don't read many vampire stories... Okay, so that was a lie. I read a lot on Twilighted... but anyway. I don't read many on HPFF, is what I meant.

I don't read them as they are generally about nasty people. And who wants to read about nasty people? I like nice people.

So it's a very welcome change to have a story about a newly changed girl... so sweet.

xE

Author's Response: Thank you for thinking that our story is sweet, we don't want people to think that Lucida is horrible. We really like her :-D thank you for reading our story and reviewing x

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Review #20, by Amber A terrible discovery

28th November 2009:
I love this story!!! I really hope you are still writing it because I really want to know what happens!

Author's Response: We're so glad you are enjoying it! It's taking us a while to upload but the next installment will be with you soon!

Love
Alicia and Anne xx


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Review #21, by DeliciouslyDerranged Party in the Dungeons

27th July 2009:
Forget Ron! I want Draco! Draco! Draco! Draco!.no offense to Ron of course. lol

AnYwAyS, I hope you UPDATE soon!

Author's Response: :-D i love Draco too :-D (Alicia is a Ron fan) we shall be updating soon i believe so keep an eye out for the next chapter.

Anne of Alicia and Anne
xx


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Review #22, by k2_vet ‘I said SERIOUSLY George not SIRUS-LY!’

20th March 2008:
Very nice. like this muchly
looking forward to an update

Author's Response: thank you we're glad you liked it so much xxx

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Review #23, by hullo have you seen what she’s doing to my younger brother?

21st February 2008:
lol loved it. update soon!

Author's Response: great! glad you enoyed it ;p and the next chapter's on it's way! x

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Review #24, by emse have you seen what she’s doing to my younger brother?

13th February 2008:
heyy dude this story is like awesome :D

Author's Response: wow thank you glad you liked it so much, hope you keep reading and thanks for the review xx

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Review #25, by crazybibliophile going to gp

8th February 2008:
Ha this is hilarious, I love the twins!!

Author's Response: thank you, we love your response. the twins rock in this story. expect more of them soon. hope you keep reading xxx

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