Reading Reviews for The Archers Legend
  
23 Reviews Found

Review #1, by hullo Getting Used to This Life

2nd April 2008:
Interesting! Update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you for the review!

Seth


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Review #2, by Alina Revelations

9th November 2007:
This chapter was absolutely fantastic.You need to hurry up and keep writing...kay? See you in like 1 second, bye.

Author's Response: Yo Alinies! Thanks for the review! I'll try my best to get up the next chapter but I need that spark of inspiration! So just hold on k?

Seth


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Review #3, by lollipop_marauderette Revelations

11th October 2007:
thet iz mean i dont lk cliffys! good chappie though, who brown boy?

FUN KISSES

Author's Response: Cliffies are awesome! Keeps readers on their toes! The boy you will find out shortly! *wink*

Seth


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Review #4, by lollipop_marauderette The Cursed Blessing

11th October 2007:
hahhahaha wuz up wit that?

FUN N KISSES

Author's Response: Hehe! Evilness! Read on!

Seth


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Review #5, by lollipop_marauderette Prologue

11th October 2007:
cool, cool cool!

FUN N KISSES

Author's Response: Thanx very much!

Seth


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Review #6, by hullo Revelations

8th October 2007:
cool! update soon!

Author's Response: Will do! Thanx for the review!

Seth


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Review #7, by noraxslytherin Revelations

7th October 2007:
woot! I LOVED THIS! excellent job, Seth! i already told you this but i'll say it again- YOU ROCK AT DIALOUGE+DESCRIPTIONS! :] update soon!

-nora.

Author's Response: Thanx Nora :)

Glad you liked it!

Seth


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Review #8, by Wand Maker Extraordinaire Revelations

7th October 2007:
This is a really good story. I sooo was not expecting her to be in Slytherin. Update soon please!

Author's Response: Thank you!
The Slytherin thing I had planned all along. I didn't want the typical Gryffy hero so I just did the opposite.
*shrug*

Will do!
Seth


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Review #9, by lothlorien Revelations

7th October 2007:
nice chapter i must say. just way too short.
how will lucious (that was him in the common room right?) react to being humiliated like that? and by a girl.
who was the brown haired boy? remus? but why would he show such hate towards her? he doesn't seem like the kind of person to hate someone just because they're slytherin.
well enough of my questions. please post the next chapter soon. and try to make it longer.

Author's Response: lol. Sorry about that.
Wait for the next chapter and find out!
*wink*


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Review #10, by Andromedatonks The Cursed Blessing

4th October 2007:
First off, the first paragraph seems a little too long, I'd suggest splitting it up into smaller bits, just to make it easier to read.
Also, I would have never thought of Artemis as 'some kind of Mary Sue' until you mentioned it. As far as I know, Mary Sue is a fanfic term, so it's kind of weird that your character uses it all of a sudden. I mean, she isn't a fanfic writer, so she can't know it... And anyways, after that I couldn't help thinking about Mary Sue and kept comparing Artemis to her.

"I went into a trance, my eyes clouding over and glowing with magic"
There's no way she could see her eyes glowing with magic, now could she? Also, I don't really understand why she looked accusingly at her mother the moment she came out of her trance. I mean, how could she know that her mother was to blame, immediately? And anyways, this is a strange reaction for a teenager who's just learned she has some extraordinary powers.

On the whole, this chapter was interesting, and also quite well-written. It seems that you've created a great original character here, and the story promises to be full of adventures. I wonder what'll happen to her at Hogwarts, seeing as she's so different from most people her age, what with all her talents.

Author's Response: Yeah, I got a bit carried away when I was writing this so excuse the long paragraphs. I'll fix that ASAP.
Now for the Mary Sue thing I kinda just slipped that in. Dunno why but it was spontaneous. *shrug*

That part. Let me explain. Well you see, as we authors tend to do sometimes is assume that the readers know everything that we do about the story. So sorry about that. Her mom told her after the thing happened. And she looked at her mother cuz she's a smart kid and knows her dad doesn't have anything to do with this. Hehe...

Thanks a lot for the great review!
Seth


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Review #11, by Andromedatonks Prologue

4th October 2007:
Well, to be honest, I have always been scared of History textbooks (Ron would have understood me, lol), so I have to say this kind of prologue is a bit of a turn off for me. But I can totally see where you coming from, this is probably necessary for the story, and anyways, most prologues are like this. So I'm just going to read on :)

~andromeda

Author's Response: Well, I don't usually do this type of writing but I just thought necesarry. Thanx for reading on!

Seth


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Review #12, by lyramoon The Cursed Blessing

19th September 2007:
That was an interesting start. I presume you're Japanese? :)

I thought that there was simply way too much exposition. The first chapter was, sorry to say, but insanely boring. The second chapter was a little better, but not by much. One thing that authors have the most trouble with is getting readers to not give up with their story. You need to hook the reader in the very beginning better. Perhaps starting with a little exposition, a little action, and then explain as you go.

I also thought that your paragraphs were way too long. There was barely any variance in paragraph lengths. It makes the story look boring.

However, I liked the imagery. Very well done :)

Hope that helps. If you would like me to review your future chapters, feel free to post those chapters in my thread as they become validated :)

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! Nope, I'm Chinese actually, though I've gone to Japan for a year!

Wow, no one has been that totally honest. OOOOk. Thanx, ya I'll work on that.

Thanx!
Seth


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Review #13, by alina Prologue

19th September 2007:
Great job! I can't wait to see what happens! ah.=DD

Author's Response: Thanx Alin-y! lol! I love writing this story! I love Artemis too! lol! I'll update ASAP!

Seth


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Review #14, by Zacharias_Smith The Cursed Blessing

18th September 2007:
This was quite a good chapter. I like the ideas in all this story; they're great. Your character does seem cool though I have to say that comparing herself to a Mary Sue within the story was a little weird. I don't know, maybe it's me, but I don't like fanfiction to 'intrude' upon itself, if you know what I mean.
The whole situation and background story you've created was good. Very rich in detail and embellishment. It might have been a little more effective to spread out all your background info through the story a bit. Like, have some action/dialogue and make that be a prompt for description of the characters' background. Just a suggestion, it's not absolutely necessary but it might make this a bit easier to read and more gripping from the start.
But it was a good chapter and did make me want to read more, so well done. :)

Author's Response: Thanx! I dunno about that part, just a little random thing that i did. It was just spontaneous. Hmm....a prompt. Ok, I'll think about that. Thanks for the advice though. You may just have sparked an idea! Thanx!

Seth


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Review #15, by hullo The Cursed Blessing

7th September 2007:
love it! update soon!

Author's Response: Course, course. Though I have a serious case of writers' block.....And how to start the next chapter is slipping through my grasp.....Oh well! Just hang in there!

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Review #16, by noraxslytherin The Cursed Blessing

3rd September 2007:
darn those cliffhangers. >:[

anyway, this was an amazing chapter! though, i'd just like to suggest breaking down the first paragraph and the third. their too long to be paragraphs. but besides that little thing, this was totally AWESOME! excellent job!! :] cant wait for the next chapter!

-nora.

Author's Response: lol! There's no fun if there aren't cliffies Nora! That's the whole point!

Thanx! lol,i sometimes get a little carried away writing so long, so I'll be sure to take care of that once I've got free time on my hands! School starts tomorrow so don't be expecting the next chap anytime soon!

Thanx for the nice review!
Seth


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Review #17, by inabena57 Prologue

29th August 2007:
hiya there seth!
I've already read this lol :]]
Just wanted to say that I like the finished project. As some of your previous reviewers said there is always room for improvement. I agree with that completely. You're always going get better. Okay so with that said I think it was great. I loved the idea and I want to thank you for the credit. :]]
Can't wait for the upcoming chappies
xo Angie

Author's Response: Hey Ange!
Of course, I know there's plenty of room for improvement. Just need to keep working towards getting better.
No prob, you helped me a lot, you deserve it.

Seth


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Review #18, by bookworm217 Prologue

28th August 2007:
UPDATE!

Author's Response: Sure, sure! You'll have to wait a little while though! It's in the queue right now!

Seth


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Review #19, by Zacharias_Smith Prologue

28th August 2007:
Hey, thought I'd leave a review since I was really excited about this idea for a story. ^^
Okay I'm going to be harsh because I think that's the only way to make a story improve: I thought that, as has already been mentioned in your reviews, this read too much like a documentary. It didn't sound like the start of a fantasy/creative story to me. A couple of phrases really contributed to this, eg. though this is a rumor which has not been confirmed., etc. It didn't capture my attention as much as I think such a great idea for a story should have. Also, there were some flaws in the writing which just generally brought the story down and broke it up, eg. writing Archers with an apostrophe when it is meant to be the plural and the 'is it the era in time...' sentence. That one was so near the beginning that it instantly made me more aware of errors in the text.
But there were definite good sides to this prologue as well. I think the idea of a prologue is great and essential. The historical/documentary way of writing could kind of work in the sense that you've just given a very factual account which in future can be elaborated on and you can show the more exciting sides to the story. The idea of the daughter is great too and I definitely can't wait to see how this pans out. So do keep writing and good luck with the story. XD

Author's Response: I'm glad that some people are actually willing to be harsh. Sometimes, if someone just keeps saying that it's all great, you begin to wonder. So yeah, I suck at the whole introducing something in a prologue but I'll try better! and Reviews are one of the ways I can improve my writing! So thanx for the review!

Seth


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Review #20, by DarkLadyofSlytherin Prologue

28th August 2007:
Hiya, Seth, thought I'd leave you a review.

Anyway, here's what I think. It reads far too much like a documentary or essay rather than a creative piece of work. It's such an imaginative plot, that I'm actually a little...okay a lot, disappointed in the chapter. I feel it could have been written so much better.

Take for instance this sentence:

Is it the era in time when the streets were safe enough for infants to walk alone and unaccompanied, with no fear for safety.

It's a little confusing. Infants don't wake. Toddlers walk, children walk, infants are carried. So right there it completely threw me off.

I could imagine it working better if you were to say, write it in first person from an Archers' PoV, or a scholar who was hoping to unravel the mystery. But right now its too much of "I'm telling you this" when it should be "I'm showing you this, look through my eyes and see what I see/saw".

Otherwise, I still believe this is a very creative idea.

Author's Response: Right. I'm so sorry that you were disappointed in the prologue. I agree that I could have done this better. It's just, and I know this isn't an excuse, but I'm not the prologue-y type of person. I suck at them really. But I'll try to do this better. Thanx for the review!

Seth


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Review #21, by snitchmagic Prologue

28th August 2007:
The prologue is brilliant! Can't wait to read the story! Keep up the good work Seth!

Author's Response: Thanx! I'll keep writing and I'll post ASAP!

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Review #22, by noraxslytherin Prologue

28th August 2007:
*blushes insanely* IM MENTIONED ON A SOON TO BE HIT'S PROLOUGE! :P hehe.

anywayyy, this was so amazing! im in love with this idea, and its so original thats its great! this story has a lot of potential and your a great writer which is a great combo, because this is obviously gonna become AWESOME! excellent prolouge and cant wait for more!! :]

-nora.

Author's Response: Thanx Nora! It's really thanx to you that I got it out in the first place!

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Review #23, by hullo Prologue

28th August 2007:
pretty good. update so i can see what happens!

Author's Response: Sure sure. You'll have to wait a while tho cuz I'm not a TA!

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