I have to be honest, this is very good but if i read it i will cry. I do like it but i cant finish the story because i will cry and embarass myself in front of all these people with me.
very good though, 10/10Author's Response: Thanks, that's nice of you! Report Review
I saw your review, and then I read your response on the forums, and well... here I am. :D
A tricky subject for sure. But I think you've done a really good job. I think if I ever lost my twin sister I would be lost. I would be in denial. And then I would be angry. Because even though my sister and I fight alot, we have a closeness that is unexplainable. And I would be so mad at her if she just died. Well, not just died, but if she died I would just be lost. I don't think I would be able to grasp the idea I wouldn't see her again. Annoy her again and vise versa. She has always just been there.
You know what I mean?
Anyway, since I've gone so far off topic it's not even funny (well kinda, but more for me and probably not you), I'll get to my point. You've really caught the emotions spot on. At least, in my opinion you have. And I really want to read more.
So if you've read this far, than thank you for putting up with this terrible review.
~Alex!Author's Response: Thank you so much! It's great to have a positive response from someone who actually has a twin. And don't worry, your review wasn't that terrible :-) Report Review
Again, I would have gone for several months or at least a very long time before George felth ready to open the trunk... But your stories are always a bit fast-paced at points.
Journals! I loved George's response, word for word, it was perfect. Although, eleven year olds spell better than that. The language was ok, but I'd improve the spelling, or make him younger.
Overall, this was a great short story, and I'm really glad I read it.
GailAuthor's Response: I am definitely reconsidering the time thing. I'm probably thinking of things too much from my own point of view - and I am very quick with things.
Re the spelling: I probably exaggerated it too much, I will take your advice and improve it a bit. But not too much because I don't imagine either of them would have been all that good, especially at eleven. I always think of young witches & wizards as being taught at home by their parents and I can imagine Fred and George running away at lesson time!
Once again, thanks for all your great reviews and I hope you keep reading and reviewing my stories. Report Review
I loved the line about 'bursting into tears or punching them [people] in the face.' My eyes were still heavy with tears from the last chapter, but I actually laughed at that point. Very realistic. Even if George wasn't feeling that way anymore, I would have been.
Woah! You really like throwing in love affairs out of nowhere don't you? ok...Author's Response: Yeah, I must admit I like the love at first sight thing. In Spreading of Evil it's a mistake though, I just introduced Noah too late. This one IS plain old love at first sight, but it's also looking at the issue of destiny - but unfortunately I haven't written the fic that makes that clear yet. (sheepish grin) Also, both George and Catherine are in fragile emotional states so it makes the onset of their relationship seem more urgent. Unfortunately I can't say here what's going on with Catherine - PM me if you want to know!!! Report Review
I was crying, absolutely crying reading that letter. I actually felt simultaneously as if I WERE George and as if I was INTRUDING upon George and his very private letter. Amazing job.
I like the touch about Fred learning paperwork from Percy. But when?
And I loved the line about how Olws shouldn't die for humas...Author's Response: When did he learn from Percy? Well there's quite a bit of time elapsing when Percy's just out of the picture, and I think it's possible that since F/G left home, there was an opportunity for them to see each other without the family knowing - or in this case for Fred to see Percy without George knowing.
I am extremely gratified to hear of your emotional reaction to the story! Report Review
Wow! Amazing! You did it again. This chapter was painfully poignant. It was hard to read through the tears.
I loved the comment about how little Fred actually owned. And the junk drawer in the desk. We all have one of those don't wei? And yet... It's always junk you don't need and yet don't know how to get rid of. It takes a grieving twin I guess.
The paperwork was a nice touch here too. I really liked how you divided this aspect of the shop, and left George groping a bit at something he didn't understand, because it was Fred's. I'd be a bit wary here, lest you make Fred into the super-twin and George the lesser half. Which is the way everthing is veering after the last two chapters. Fred had the gift of names, was braver, and now did the paperwork? What did George do? What strengths was George to the pair?
I thought the references to the wicker handled axe was cute. Ties in your earlier stories. I really like that touch. Everything is baised upon one spell, to conjure a picnic hamper. I never did praise you for that one.
I also felt that chopping up the bed, and getting some of the hurt out that way was a nice touch.
Ohh.Author's Response: I didn't realise as I was writing it that I was supertwinning Fred slightly. I think there is evidence that Fred was the stronger twin, but perhaps not so much as I implied. Part of it of course is that George is feeling his loss, so HE is supertwinning Fred, but I probably need to make that clearer. Thanks again for your review and for noticing the connections between stories! Report Review
Oh god, you didn't use 'Wuthering Heights' for her name! Poor girl. I take it there's some relationship with Olivia and your other Weston family OC's you've worked so hard on? Nice way to work them all in.
I liked George's insecurity at the end. The comment about Fred and how to get girls to kiss you, was really cute.
I found your take on why George wasn't with Fred on Potterwatch interesting. I always assumed it was a 'safty first' (to use Fred's own words) issue. Its bad enough they were on the air at all, but to have both twins talking at once, that would make it CLEAR who they were. But your take was intersting too. I never thought George was afraid of anything, but you make a very intersting case. Great job. I do agree with you that Fred was always the stronger personality in the duo.
GailAuthor's Response: Yes, Olivia is Catherine's mother :-) My stories do tend to cross over a bit. Catherine's in my AU fic (Harry Potter and the Boy Who Lived) as well.
Oh - and with Potterwatch, I'd forgotten about the safety first thing, which may be a reason, but I'll keep it as is because I think it's an interesting case too. Report Review
Your first statement about George's grief lessening after a week seem a bit farcical. Could you make it a few months? Write something like 'as the weeks passed' or perhaps 'although his grief didn't lessen, he found solace in the moments he lost himself in day-to-day activities' or similar. I dont know anyone who got over the passing of a loved one in 5 weeks. I like the rest of those paragraphs though, most noticably your line about the 'barren stony' feeling of nothingness!
I loved the scene with the kids. The way George connected with the boy, even if he couldnt remember his name. How they felt the same way, but the others couldn't understand. I also loved how he felt the loss of Fred, because that twin had been the better one for names.
I loved when George said 'we're twenty.' It was so poignant for him to forget Fred wasn't there too. Fred was always there.
One thing though, George asking her age... Perhaps he should do so more hesitantly, or throw in a line about checking as some products are only for over age wizards or some such. Otherwise, its a trifle odd in a shop environment. Its like someone asking your age in tescos when all your buying is a pint of milk and a loaf of bread. I get that he was chatting her up, but it struck me as wrong.
By and by, a good chapter!Author's Response: Thanks for your compliments and all your advice. I'm beginning to agree with you about the time factor and will definitely think about changing that. Report Review
Well done! This felt like the right mix between the disbelief and the agony of grief. I really liked the part where George broke down in the flat and then thought 'Are you satisfied?' to his family. You brought tears to my eyes with this.
What I really like is that it's not too overdone. You balanced the pain with both denial and anger. Most of these stories, the carachters only portray one aspect, either cryinging, or moping or something similar. The way you've worked in several concurrant or often warring emotions is more human and more honest.
Again, well done.Author's Response: What can I say except thank you so, so much for such a complimentary review that is also detailed and helpful. I'm really glad you're enjoying the story and I hope it continues to live up to your good opinion! Report Review
I loved this story! It captured all of the nuances of Fred's and George's characters. It even made me tear up.
After reading other reviews I wanted to clarify one thing: Fred and George did leave Hogwarts in their seventh year. It was in Harry's fifth year, but they were two years older.Author's Response: Oh yeah, I\\\'d totally forgotten about that review, that was ages ago. I\\\'ve written the fic knowing they left in seventh year. I was just having a funny five minutes when I replied. It is very easy to think of everything in terms of Harry\\\'s POV though, so thanks for picking that up.
To you and anyone who teared up reading this, I am flattered to learn that I have been able to produce an emotional reaction! Report Review
wonderfulAuthor's Response: Why, thank you, raven101! Couldn't ask for a more succinct compliment than that, lol. Hope you'll continue to like the story and give more feedback. :-) Report Review
aww this is a cute story
i almost started to cry, especially in the first two chapters where there was a lot about how george felt about freds death
ahh i cant believe fred died
rip fred!Author's Response: Yeah, RIP Fred! I read this interview with JKR where she says she always knew he was going to die but couldn't say how she'd chosen which twin. I suppose if you're going to create maximum devastation, killing off a twin, and leaving a baby orphaned, are two of the most devastating things one can do. Anyway, thanks for your review - it's gratifying to know I got thru emotionally! :-) Report Review
A very nice story. I think you captured George's character really well and also the differences between him and Fred! Keep writing!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm really pleased that you said that, because in the books, the twins' characters are quite background, and implicit rather than explicit, so it's quite tricky to keep to canon sometimes. But that just shows what a great writer JKR is, because she can put so much across with so little. Report Review
o. nice! its so sad... george all alone... with onje ear...
nice story XDAuthor's Response: Thanks! I thought it was unfair, that he loses an ear and Fred in the space of a few months. Report Review
I like this story; you describe how George is feeling really well ! Update soon pleasee x 9/10Author's Response: Thank you :-) Report Review
Wow! that was brilliant! you're a fabulous writer!!! can't wait to read more :)! Author's Response: Cheers m'dear, more to follow soon! Report Review
thanx for making this fan fic. fred was my favorite character in the series and i was sure he was going to live. its nice to see your take on what happened after he died, i feel so bad for george i mean he lost his twin it must be like lossing part of yourself. keep writing this its really greatAuthor's Response: More to come soon. Thanks for the compliments! It's great to have positive feedback. :-) Report Review
The Weasley twins were my favorite characters in the HP books, and Fred's death was soo sad. I'm really glad that someone's finally made a fanfic about it. It's really good, please keep writing!!Author's Response: Thanks - I wanted to explore this - I just had to be careful what I put in the summary, because it's a huge spoiler if you haven't read DH! Report Review
oh. I have been WAITING and WAITING for SOMEONE to mention Fred's death and now finaly- here it is. I love this fanfic. Keep on writing!Author's Response: Thank you! I thought it should be done too. Report Review
:| omg this is wonderful, im taken, get more up asap! xoAuthor's Response: Thanks so much! :-) More coming soon!
I really like this so far! Your descriptions are really good, and I think we get a definite sense of your interpretation of George's grief. I will definitely keep following this story!Author's Response: Thank you, those are great compliments! More soon. Report Review
Very good... Fred dying is so sad, I don't know how George will deal with it.Author's Response: Thank you :-) I thought Fred dying was appalling, and I wanted to explore how George would react. More to come! Report Review
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