This was amazing! I love how it was like a day in the life of James Potter, going into his obnoxiously big head and revealing all of his innermost thoughts. Although he was very arrogant and full of himself, I thought he was funny and lovable too, the way he just automatically assumes that everyone worships him and the world revolves around him. Very accurate representation, since in canon we know he was an only child of wealthy parents and a popular boy in school, etc. The ending was absolutely wonderful, I like the comparison of Lily to the Snitch. All guys like the chase and I guess James is no different! 10/10Author's Response: Girldetective85, thank you for putting much thought into your reviews. I really, really appreciate it. :) This was actually written for a soliloquy challenge, haha, so it was a laugh writing this, but I'm glad you liked this anyway. Lily and the Snitch... Well, I figured it would be like James to think senseless stuff and think as though he's the one making sense... :P
lol. He sounds so up himself. I quote "Merlin, if I was a girl, I would probably be in love with myself." I think he's in love with himself alreeady. XDAuthor's Response: Haha. That he is, that arrogant berk. :) Report Review
There were some grammatical errors throughout the piece. Nothing major, but they were noticable. The plot is good. Normally I don't picture James acting like this, but I suppose he does have the arrognance factor. Good job.Author's Response: Yes, I know! When I write one-shots, I don't really go over them for editing. ;) Glad you liked it, even partially, anyway. :) Report Review
lol, this fic is hilarious!
Just the way you portrayed James makes me smile!
The grammar was good and everything seemed right to me. Though maybe you could write some dialogue of maybe James talking to himself because Paragraohs of only him thinking made me a little drousy! No offense!
Good job and good luck with other work!Author's Response: Well, it really was supposed to make the readers laugh! :) I'm glad you enjoyed it! ;) I''ll try to put in some parts because you're right, it definitely looks boring. But it was supposed to be a monologue anyway. ;) Report Review
this was so good!!! haha, the end sentence made me laugh. i love how arrogant he is. XD
i loved how we got to see inside his head and you made the sentences flow perfectly. excellent excellent job! :]
-nora.Author's Response: Haha, thanks! Glad it made you laugh. It's stupid, isn't it, how arrogant he can be? LOL. ;) Report Review
hehehe I love James' ego in this. It's hilarious and amusing. ^^ Very cute, may good writings continue to you. ~Moni JaneAuthor's Response: Thanks! :) It was really made to make you laugh, LOL. Report Review
:] loved the descriptions, james' cockiness (a bit oot, but anyway!) and the way you described everything ^^
[and james was a chaser, not a seeker. but that wouldn't fit into the story to anyway!]
well done :] it was simply flawless. *hugs*Author's Response: Haha, I know! I know James is a Chaser, but for some reason it just doesn't fit (for me at least). I just can't see him that way. :) Haha, besides, I think that if he indeed played Seeker, he would be more arrogant, which plays right into this story. :) Report Review
Ha ha. This is great. Who can resist a story with James talking about himself. It seems so like him...at least before he matured and everything. I love how you incorporated the mirror of erised in there. He thought it was someone else? That's funny. You did I great job with this. I love first person, and I think that using it to portray this story was a great idea. Nice work.Author's Response: Hi, there! Thanks for reviewing this. :) I'm glad you thought he was merely being in character. Haha. I also loved the Mirror of Erised and how he acted towards it. :) Thank you for your generous compliments! Report Review
Good story, but James is a Chaser. Still, the story was really good!Author's Response: I know, haha, but somehow I like him more as a Seeker. ;) I also think he has more bragging rights if he's the Seeker. LOL. Anyway, thanks for reviewing! ;) Report Review
Hahah!! That's awesome! Great job!Author's Response: Thanks. ;) Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection