Reading Reviews for Intoxicated With Desire
  
22 Reviews Found

Review #1, by njhill22 Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

4th September 2007:
This was nice opening, albeit short, you made the most of what you have. I really liked your opening paragraph:


It’s a gift I suppose. A very beautiful gift that can be snatched from you when you’re not looking. If you use it too much, the object of your affection might not want you anymore. All good things come to an end. You just have to live it while you have the chance. Don’t take anything for granted. I didn’t.

I think it sets the mood for the whole story up well. There was only one thing that I think could be edited: But there is nothing in this world as normal is there? I was a normal witch. Just the placement of it, swap the sentences so it doesn't seem like you're retracting what you just wrote. I hope that made sense :)

Author's Response: lol. i think it did ? i thought the first paragraph was stupid. oh well. =] just me then =P

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Review #2, by Generally_Insane Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

3rd September 2007:
I really liked the Prologue. It was well done and made me want to continue reading ASAP--that's what a prologue SHOULD do.
I'm really interested in Sophia's story--its something that's been done before--but not like this. Did that make ANY sense at all? I've seen loads of Sirius/OC ships around HPFF, and I've seen a lot of them when he is thrown in Azkaban. But no one wrote it like this--so it'll be a nice change, I'm sure.
Anyways, I've got to go, but I'll be back. XD
-Anj

Author's Response: umm okay? that didnt make sense but i sorta get what your saying. =]

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Review #3, by Andromedatonks Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

3rd September 2007:
Well, it's just a prologue, so it's hard to say anything just yet. By the looks of it, it is going to be a great story, but, to be honest, not the kind I would enjoy reading, mostly because I'm not too fond of the word 'love' being used so often. But I'm sure it's just my own thing, and a lot of readers would disagree ;) I like your style though, your use of short sentences makes it captivating and easy to follow. I have to say, I shudder at the idea of Sirius married, but then again, it's just my own opinion of his character.

~andromeda

Author's Response: Agreed. it is your own opinion

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Review #4, by manditaaknfv Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

2nd September 2007:
awesome story! :-) and awesome banner lol

Author's Response: by the awesume you! thank you!!! gahh.... THANK YOU!! lol. can you be my banner making person?

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Review #5, by mysticalshadows Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

29th August 2007:
hehehehehehehehehhehe. MY FIC ROCKS!!! i didn't know you could comment on your own fics. =P
Saba! hurry up and read this -again- i have a rose. well i have Roses (C) and im NOT going to eat them.. m food. lol. stuiud mandarin. =P
keep looking out for updates! though i dont know how but yeah.. next chappie coming up soon!

-ADDICTED

Author's Response: ahahahahahahhahahaha. this is utterly stupid

-REDEMPTION


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Review #6, by darkmistress Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

27th August 2007:
awww, great beginning! I love the feel of the character and how you capture the reader's attention. VERY GOOD!

Author's Response: really? oh I didn't know that. ^^ thanks heaps. check for updates!

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Review #7, by Flower n Prongs Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

27th August 2007:
Short, but I really like the sound of it so far. This could be really interesting if it's written write. The prologue made me wonder exactly what she was talking about, so I think it did it's job. Update! (Erg, the annoying word lol.)

Author's Response: lol. thank you!

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Review #8, by Clowee_tee Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

27th August 2007:
Quote:

But love is undefined. And don’t go and get a dictionary and prove me wrong

I loved this line! It was lovely!

This chapter was short but sweet, i really enjoyed it and a little disappointed when i realised there was no more! So go and update now! Hehe :)

clowee_tee

xxx

Author's Response: i loved that line too. i was being in character. no that's acting. oh i dont know. =P

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Review #9, by goodbyetoyou Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

26th August 2007:
that was a really good start =D. only a bit short =(. good job!

Author's Response: thanks! short is me =P

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Review #10, by D i a Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

26th August 2007:
Hey.

I liked the way you used very short sentences a lot of the time, it has a good effect and it contributes to set the mood in this relatively short piece of text. It was a good lenght for a prolouge.

I'n not so fond of the picture and song-quote you chose to put in at the beginning of this chapter, I didn't really see the point of either being there, as for the piece of song in the middle of the actually story I didn't really grasp the idea of the reason why it was there.

There was just one grammatic thing I noticed: "I won’t ever forget him, or want he did." - is it just me or is there something wrong here?

Other than those relatively small things this is promising, defintely.

/D i a

Author's Response: yay! you're a good beta. i didnt see that. thanks. the song was to basiscally waste up words coz i had nothing to think of writing and i didnt want to go into much description right then
later~


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Review #11, by JamesandLilly4ever Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

25th August 2007:
Short but it was good. 8/10

Author's Response: Thanks!

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Review #12, by quailsrock23 Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

25th August 2007:
at first i thought, whoa this is the whole story. and then i thought, nooo it says prologue xD silly moi. anyways, i like your writing style. it..calls out to me. haha. but yeah, i do like it. it was a tad too short for my liking. but i guess it's just a prologue so i'm not too..worked up about it. if that was a chapter, then i'd have a little more concern and such. so i liked it. and it's a nice start. 9/10. i love that song,btw. it's so sad!

Author's Response: yay! all my wistful reviewers. :) I love the song too!

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Review #13, by puffy Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

24th August 2007:
hi
i can review now :)

Author's Response: huh? lol. right.. yes...
well. get account! and then write a story (not as good as mine) and then we can go gaga. =="
SUMMER LOVE!!!!!!
i cant write anything more. it wont let me. =(
later~


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Review #14, by dracoslover1 Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

24th August 2007:
This is cute chapter. There were no spelling or grammatical errors as far as I can tell. It was a little short, but there was enough to get the reader hooked. I like it.

Author's Response: yay! how cute. --' thanks. i'm very bad at spelling really. it's meant to be short. keep reading!

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Review #15, by musicgirlhp14 Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

24th August 2007:
It's good. I like your style of writing. I wish this were longer, and that we could see a little more into how they fell in love, instead just the basic facts. But I did like it, and I think you've done a great job with it. Well done!
~Alex

Author's Response: thanks. I couldn't think of anything to write so it's short. How they fell in love is described later on in the story. Thanks heaps!

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Review #16, by NevunaRomione Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

24th August 2007:
It's so short, but I still love it. Even though it isn't long it manages to tell the reader what they need to know. I think it's got a great plot line so far, unlike anything I have ever read before. It's well-written too. 9/10 ^_^

Author's Response: yay!! thanks much. It's a prologue. it's meant to be like that.

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Review #17, by Magical Me13 Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

24th August 2007:
Let me start off saying that this story sounds like its going to be a really great one. This kind of chapter really helps in pulling your reader in. I enjoyed the poetic sense of it, but I must say that unless you're truly pushing for free form poetry, be careful of the sentence structure. Even in poetry it can be a little choppy. Overall, grammar and spelling is good, description is pretty good, so I'll give it a 9/10

Author's Response: yay! lol. I'm a poet. Well I was last year. Now I'm an author and an artist. ^^. thank you!

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Review #18, by puffy Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

24th August 2007:
hahaha lol
loved that joke.i wonder if theyl let me review this time round...=]
anyway.UR FIC ROCKED.
SIRIUS AND OC SHIPPERS ARE MI ABSOLUTE FAVES!
i wonder if they have a kind of chatting thing in hppf (i was an idiot and i tried speling it out...lol =P.
anyway bye
ps. wat the h*** does LMAO stand for?

Author's Response: omg. i'll tell you later. it's not allowed here i think. i'll try anyway. stupid :P
lmao: laughing my a** off
durh.
later~
no chatting thingmo. write a story girl!


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Review #19, by puffy Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

24th August 2007:
they didnt let me review agn!! i said i

Author's Response: yes. You said I. And I said Bye. :P
joke: Knock knock
who's there?
you who
you know who?
yes, AVADA KEDRAVA!

lol. i love that joke :P
later~


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Review #20, by puffy Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

24th August 2007:
hey! they didnt let me finish mi review!=[ i am not happi. ne way i think i said i

Author's Response: right. finish your reviews next time. =)

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Review #21, by puffy Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

24th August 2007:
hey .remember me??? *wink wink*
hey i love this fic its great =]
i

Author's Response: Omg HEYY!! lol. Thanks S[name censored]A :P thank you! hehehe. thank you very much ^^

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Review #22, by maraudersmap Prologue: I Can't Break It To My Heart

22nd August 2007:
aw... This was so beautiful! And very sad too... I cant say to much now, though, cause this was just a prologue... So please update?

Author's Response: OMG thank you!! =) you made my day already. my first story, my first review. I'll get the actual first chapter sometime this week... thank you! 'high'
=]
later~


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