Reading Reviews for Ghosts of Yesterday
  
63 Reviews Found

Review #1, by GreyLady Chapter Six

16th October 2010:
I like your way of writing :-) No errors every few words, which is quite a pleasant change.

But yes, very much like this story so far :-)

-x-

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Review #2, by Ginny45 Chapter Five: Mysterious Encounters

11th July 2010:
Hey again.
A million house elfs. Imagine :P
I love how sweet she is with Any it warmed my heart :)
Your characterisation of James is good in my opinon as he loves Lily but he is still annoyed at her for not liking him back which you have gotten across well.
His mother is brilliant I hate stories that have her as strict and kind of up herself as I like tothink she is warm and friendly but can be strict.
Anyway thats my reviews done :)
xxx

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Review #3, by Ginny45 Behind Enemy Lines

11th July 2010:
Hey it's me agiain forth review here :).
I like how when she first saw James she didn't automatically start shouting at him as no matter how much you hate someone you don't do that. so very realistic.
I like how his mother is aware of the pranking James I have read many a story when she thinks he is the most innocent thing in the world. Let's be serious here she would know about the marauders and having met Sirius she would know they were troublemakers.
Your room description was really good.
Your Lily voice is back so I'm guessing that last chapter was just a slip,I love it when she puts her foot in her mouth.
xxx

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Review #4, by Ginny45 Nanny Wanted

11th July 2010:
Hey it is RandomRed again.
I like how you have kept Lily smart and sensible without her thinking she is better than everyone because many writers fall into that pothole.
You introduced James and with good reason too so I like that and it was at the end as well so you've left little bit of a cliffhanger but not a huge one.
The bit about getting around her parents made me laugh because everyone does it.
One little thing no mention of Petunia yet? Even just a little passng by statement to James of another character.
So yeah everything is develpoing nicely. The pace is still going good.
I can't wait to see how you write the interactions between ames and Lily though.
In this chapter you voice of Lily seems to have gone a bit off to me but maybe that is just me or you just wrote it quickly but I just though I would let you know.
xxx

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Review #5, by Ginny45 A Summer Job

11th July 2010:
Hey it is RandomRed again.
I like how she doesn't know everything about her gift. I've read stories that give someone a gift and then they know everything about it 2 minutes later because the character is THAT amazing.
There were points in this chapter that made me laugh like the bit with Nearly Headless Nick but they weren't in your face funny which I really like.
I also like how you didn't shove James into the story the second it started just so he is there I may be guilty of this I can't remember but it is good to pace it which I thinkyou have done.
I think you are writing this story at the right pace.
xxx

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Review #6, by Ginny45 Silence is Deadly

11th July 2010:
Hey it is RandomRed from the forums.
I think you write Lily as a five year old girl really well. I hope you write her as a teenager etc, just as good.
You are an imaginative writer well I can see that from this story. By any chance do you watch Ghost Whisperer?
I like the way even though Lily is so young you can still see the characteristics that make her, her because they don't just appear out of no where. So I really like that.
the Lily/James bit hasn't started yet so I'll read on and comment on that but overall at the moment I really like the idea and your doing it well which is great :)
xxx

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Review #7, by Fanifical Chapter Five: Mysterious Encounters

23rd June 2010:
Honestly that was pretty good. I rather enjoyed it. Yes, I did so if you could write some more that would be lovely, absolutely brilliant in fact.

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Review #8, by ekroman Chapter Five: Mysterious Encounters

23rd June 2010:
This is really good ! :D

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Review #9, by Roxanne Chapter Five: Mysterious Encounters

22nd June 2010:
I just found this story and I think it's amazing! It has a brilliant theme to it, and seems very much unlike J.K.R's Harry Potter, but in a good way.
Good luck with your writing.

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Review #10, by casa_bella Behind Enemy Lines

6th February 2009:
Woah, this is awesome! Cant wait to meet Amy! (And see what happens with James of course!)
10/10
Update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you! I will try to update soon. I've gotten several ideas and I think I have most of the story outline done, but alas my life has other ideas than to let me write. Perhaps during break! :)

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Review #11, by LuckySeven Behind Enemy Lines

14th June 2008:
too short! hehe seriously tho looonger plez! great writing! this is a good story i can't wait to read more!!

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Review #12, by LuckySeven Nanny Wanted

14th June 2008:
o! the plot thickens! this is gonna be good i can tell! this story is addicting! keep writing!!

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Review #13, by LuckySeven A Summer Job

14th June 2008:
hey again! i am slacking in my reviewing duties, all of my reviews are getting really short! anyway this story is really interesting and i love Lily! she is so easy to relate to! *sigh* yet another short review oh well. great writing!!
LuckySeven

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Review #14, by LuckySeven Silence is Deadly

14th June 2008:
Hi! im responding to your review request!! you were worried about writing your chapters quickly but it doesn't seem rushed at all! anyhow, this is great writing and i am going to read the next chapter now! ;) good job!!
LuckySeven

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Review #15, by Anna_Black Silence is Deadly

9th June 2008:
Sorry for taking so long but believe it or not, I got 'caught up' lol!
Anyways, I am glad you posted in my thread; this looks like a very interesting story. Like I already mentioned, I haven't read anything similar, so this is something new for me, and very interesting.
Now, to the chapter itself. First of all, I loved how you showed that Lily is still a small child when voicing her thoughts, for example like my nose would grow like Pinocchio. Your style is very informative, which I really like. The dialogue was also very well done.
I am really curious what Lily actually did with that curse; did her Grandma really leave forever of she'll be back after some point?
The beginning is really interesting and really got me captivated. 8/10

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Review #16, by lupinlove Behind Enemy Lines

4th June 2008:
i hope you don't mind that i didn't review the other chapters; everything i'm about to write would be quite repetitive, as i have very little criticism and many positive comments haha.

i'll start off with all the positive: you asked me about my general impression, and it's definitely a good one. i really like the idea of lily being able to see ghosts and the way you gave an actual reason for it (and i liked lily's ramble about the spanish and the fountain of youth haha); what i especially like about all of this is that despite the fact that lily has what she calls a 'curse', her perspective on things is still easy-going and humorous, and she doesn't seem at all depressed.

continuing with your characterization, i really like what you did with lily overall. she's not the usual fiery-tempered, wise-beyond-her-years lily evans, but rather a believable sixteen-year-old witch getting up to usual sixteen-year-old business. i loved, in the prologue, that she very bluntly stated that she was jealous because petunia had all the attention, and it's great that you still have her being so straightforward all these years later. like with the dinner! (also, i especially like that she didn't start hexing james as soon as she saw him. lily often seems to do that, for whatever reason ...)

this story has really intrigued me so far and i'm looking forward to see more development between lily and james as well as with the story! i'm interested in seeing what you'll do with the ghosts, and i'm particularly curious about mrs chapman.

my only piece of criticism is that, i guess because this used to be for nanowrimo, some of the sentences are a bit odd in that ... aah i only know how to say it in french! but on occasion you'll have a referent (is that it?) that doesn't refer to the noun you've just used. i wish i'd copypasted an example so you could see what i'm talking about, but i'm sure it was more due to time constraints rather than actual grammar problems. a really exaggerated example would be: 'the birdS were singing and i listened to IT.' haha wow anyway.

a great story overall and i hope you'll update soon!

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Review #17, by adahpfan Behind Enemy Lines

5th May 2008:
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE, you get the point,
10/10

Author's Response: I'll try

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Review #18, by adahpfan Silence is Deadly

5th May 2008:
aw thats so sad.
-adahpfan

Author's Response: Poor Lily

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Review #19, by JLHufflepuff Behind Enemy Lines

20th March 2008:
This was a short chapter but introduced some important things. I'm glad that she's decided to stay, but there seems to be something mysterious going on... And her room - wow! Lucky her... I can't wait to see what's up next.

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Review #20, by JLHufflepuff Nanny Wanted

20th March 2008:
Okay, so most of what I said in the previous review is nonsense... I like the way you are developing the story and think that it works. I had some sneaking suspicion that James Potter would end up being involved in some way. I mean, that definitely makes things more interesting. I'm wondering where the five year old actually comes into play.

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Review #21, by JLHufflepuff A Summer Job

19th March 2008:
I like the way she thought Nick was a ghost that only she could see .. definitely very cute. I think the previous chapter was perfect as a prologue, but I think you could probably just skip from there to the main action of when Lily really starts using her ability. I'm not saying this chapter is bad, but I think it might be a good way to skip over the years that aren't the focus of your story. Just a suggestion. This is good! ;)

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Review #22, by JLHufflepuff Silence is Deadly

19th March 2008:
I think this concept is an interesting one. I like the way Lily reveals her five year old memory of seeing her dead grandma and also how she finds out about her family's secret witch-past. That's a great idea! I'm interested to see how this plays out.

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm glad it's caught your interest!

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Review #23, by Violet Gryfindor A Summer Job

16th February 2008:
This was another great chapter. :) I like how you portray Lily's character, it's very realistic for someone her age and she doesn't appear like the Mary Sue she sometimes can. The best thing is that she hasn't yet mentioned James! :P This will definitely not be the conventional L/J story, which is wonderful to see.

The only criticism I have is that not too much happened in this chapter; it was more an in-between for the prologue and the next chapter, setting things up for the rest of the story. Not that I minded, but I was just a little surprised when I came to the end. Anyways, I look forward to reading more of this! :)

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Review #24, by Violet Gryfindor Silence is Deadly

16th February 2008:
This is a really great beginning, Sophie! The first person narrative was wonderfully done - I could "hear" Lily's voice narrating the story in my head, it was like she was actually relating her memories. I like the idea of giving Lily this special curse/gift - it's plausible for the magical world to have ghost-seers, I think. :) I'll keep reading to see what happens next! ^_^

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Review #25, by joojoo Silence is Deadly

2nd February 2008:
Soph!
To start with technicalities - like with that Henry VIII story you showed me before, you need to try re-working your sentences so that they don't so often begin with 'I'. Try and have some variety. Secondly, you mentioned dolls, but then said how "fragile it was". I think you meant "they were" instead. Minor error, but look into it, because these little things detract from the story that seems to at this point be getting interesting. I enjoy the character you've painted here of Lily as a five-year old - quite a demanding personality; I can really imagine her like that.
I notice that you deftly skipped over describing the attic in due detail. Hmm... Sophie!! *is mock angry*. By giving a bit of description, but not paying enough attention to it just brings the writing down... and I know you can do better. So pull yourself together and give me a description! (hehe, I feel like a mega-strict P.E teacher). But seriously, your plot ideas are amazing, and by not working on your weaknesses you're not doing them justice.
The ending, though, I really loved. It's both Lily (very revealing of her stubborn character) and also very vulnerable at the same time. Plus, it's a great open-ending... and leads on perfectly into the plot you described in the summary, which is as it should be.
joojoo
x

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