i love it , i hope you update soon

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More sexy writing, please!

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I was captivated before I even finished the first chapter! Please write more of this sexy and beautiful story!

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that was really good!
is that the end of it?
i hope not. you should definatly write another chapter!!
:]]
xXx

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Very nice chapter!

You seem to have a knack for description and your characters are very believable. Can't wait to see what's next!

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Not bad for a first chapter. I'm interested in seeing what happens next.

Grammar was good (YAY!) I have to say, it's REALLY refreshing to leave a review that isn't commenting on grammar-or the lack thereof.

Good job overall. Thanks for sharing!

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adore this fic, so great, plz update asap!

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really great!!!

do they live together?

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here is a story that has grabbed my attention. comments
1. i like the intrigue you've set up with the assassin deal.
2. i liked the flashback to the first kiss. flashback can be overused and not executed well. your flashback seemed natural and essential to the story.
3. i don't generally like 1st person pov on ff because a lot of times it seems forced and there the risk of suffering writer intrusion. you've done marvelously with it. you've captured hermione, her thoughts... her mannerisms... i liked the library scene with the book. and the kiss with ron. i truly felt i was in her head. well done!
4. your use of vocabulary is great. not overdone. this makes for an intelligent read. you demonstrate a command for language.
5. the dialogue was natural and had good flow. i enjoyed the exchange with draco prior to the kiss. you captured his arrogance but allowed for that spark of interest that hermione herself was experiencing.

i would suggest, if you haven't already, to write out your plot points to the end of the story. keep a notebook near you so you can jot down scenes that come to you out of the blue. sometimes, i find at the strangest times, an extraordinary scene floats into my head that works great in the story i'm writing. driving, just waking…etc.
your style is great. you need a rock solid plot to keep going, and it would seem so far you have just that!
i hope you don't mind my suggestions. its just that this is a great story and i would love to read all of it!! i think you've done a fantastic job on this so far. keep it up!
emily


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Awsome chapter, i like the internal battle Hermione has. Can't wait to read more.

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this really good so please post next chapter soon!

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Oh my god! You have to update soon. both chapters are amazing and I love your grammer.

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I love it! Please update real soon!! =) 10/10

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i must say, i love your writing style, my dear. the tone is very punctual, intelligent and sophisticated - my favourite kind of style. i am looking forward to reading more from you, as this story has deeply caught my interest. your vocabulary is believable, as it resembles the speech of highly educated english, and your description is lovely. i absolutely adore where this could be going.

i'm looking forward to reading more. update, please.

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Are you going to update this soon?

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buterfliys in my stumik p p p ples finish


Author's Response: Thanks! The next chapter is on it's way.

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It really good, continue with the story i want to know what happens next

Author's Response: Thank you. I definitely plan to continue. I'm pretty busy with college, but hopefully my next chapter will be up soon.

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i loved it, i do hope that you will be posting more chapters, it is an excellent story and beautiful writing... excellent!

Author's Response: I'm definitely going to be posting more! It's great to hear that my work is appreciated. Thank you so much! ^_^

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Ah, a twist. Color me intrigued.

Author's Response: Thanks. The next chapter will be up soon.

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I thought it was OK, but it definitely has promise. Just ignore the guy that just said "dumb" he obviously wasn't smart enough to write anything else

Author's Response: Thanks for the constructive critcism. I hope to hear from you again!

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Please continue this! I think it's wonderful!
Absolutely great!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! The next chapter will be posted as soon as possible. It's great to hear that people are reading my work. Thanks again!

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oooh, sensual and mysterious.

Author's Response: Thanks! It's always fun to hear what people think of my stories.

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dumb.

Author's Response: I only appreciate constructive criticism, interestingly enough.

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Okay. Kali from TDA. WOW. Multi-chaptered fic pweeze, because honestly...
I'm astonished. :)

Love it
Kali

Author's Response: Thanks, Kali! I've posted your banner, and I've decided to make it multi-chaptered. The next chapter SHOULD be finished tonight.

Thanks again, and I hope to keep hearing from you.

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i would love to read your original. if you post it as a reply to this maybe i can get it... great job with this one!

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