Reading Reviews for One False Move
29 Reviews Found

Review #1, by jjGiGGleS316 Betrayal

6th September 2012:
Omg. Amazing story, very well told.

 Report Review

Review #2, by ??? Head's Patrol

2nd February 2010:
You sorta changed tenses a couple time... I would also go through it again and make sure your not using adjectives or verbs too much, too close together

 Report Review

Review #3, by Padfoot is my Soulmate Changing Tides

18th January 2009:
Ok. Honestly here. It has been bothing me throughout the whole story. You have been spelling the word that even an incompentant second grader could spell, M-I-N-U-T-E not M-I-N-U-E-T. Gosh. I mean Siriusly. Minute? Please. Ugh. People these days. -Rolls eyes-

Author's Response: .woops.

ill make it a note to trust more than spell check these days. sorry if my idiocy offends. thanks for taking the time to read my story though.

 Report Review

Review #4, by nire Betrayal

30th October 2008:
Wow.. the plot line was soo deep. I wasn't expecting that at all. It was hard to read at times.. but I suppose it's because i'm tired. I can't believe your brain thought of all that!

I wish James and Lily didn't have to die.

sigh. Good job!

Author's Response: thanks. im really glad that you liked it. all of the stories i write are my pride and joy but this one was the one where i went my imagination run wild.

 Report Review

Review #5, by lily_james_foreva_701 Betrayal

14th October 2008:
correction for that last part - harry wasn't intended to be a horcrux, he was an accident, the eighth piece of soul. No offence.
Great story! xx

Author's Response: i do know that...but im still trying to be in denial over the it though. it was one of the few things i wanted to accept about deathly hallows. thanks for the review!

 Report Review

Review #6, by sjfhdj The Bonds That Unite

11th June 2008:
Point of view changing a bit...few spelling mistakes.
but good storyline.

Author's Response: yah i did notice that and it wasnt supposed to be intentional. but it felt kind of akward to be narrating. thanks for reading though.

 Report Review

Review #7, by izzy The Bonds That Unite

8th June 2008:
this story is really good!
the story lines original and unexcpected
my only thing is that you keep changing perspectives
at the begging of the chapter you write as a narrator
and when lupin comes into the story you write from his perspective etc.
is it meant to be like this or am i missing something
but considering the amount of abandoned, crappy and one chapter stories this is really good :D

Author's Response: it wasnt supposed to be like that. basically what happened was that i was having technical issues trying to get the story to move along so i made that with the intention of editing. unfortunatley it never happened...but thanks for reading and glad you've enjoyed it.

 Report Review

Review #8, by Emil Betrayal

11th May 2008:
I would give the whole story a 7/10. Im never good at criticism when it comes to fan fics lol everyone has their own style so.
A few details feelt weird, like how they had to use a wand everytime they wanted to transform into their animigi forms, and i always figured animigi was more like.. you know how the hat decides how people fit in houses, if for some reason like harry, you decide you really don't want to be a small creature, then your heart / mind will know that and you'll become something else when you make the animigi spell / take the potion, makes sense? LOl

Anyways now iv'e babbeled on, interessting story. :)

Author's Response: thanks alot for reading the entire story. and yah, the whole animagi thing was kind of confusing to me but i needed to somehow get it to happen so i figured that was how i was going to do it. glad you enjoyed it.

 Report Review

Review #9, by TheQueenofAttolia Broken Promises

4th March 2008:
Excellent chapter. Your writing becomes more natural and engaging each chapter. The foreshadowing that Peter becomes a Death Eater was very well done. So far, this is turning out really nicely. Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: you know, peter really is an under appreciated character. granted he was a rat-no pun intended- but still, his story is incredibly interesting to me and i always thought that he would have been coerced into it by others in order to keep himself safe. and i am trying to improve my fiction writing, i sometimes notice that i sound way too academic and analytical when i write so im glad that my efforts are paying off. you're going to have to continue to tell me where i can improve so that i can see where my errors are.

allow me to reiterate that you are awesome!

 Report Review

Review #10, by TheQueenofAttolia The Forbidden Forest

4th March 2008:
Wow, this was an amazing chapter. Dumbledore was great, the dialogue was very natural, and the plot was intriguing. The Death Eater section was great. Nice job!

Author's Response: i had alot of fun writing about the Death Eaters! guess im just indulging my dark side. and im glad that you liked how i did Dumbledore. his character is especially hard to do since he is so incredibly perceptive about everything.

 Report Review

Review #11, by TheQueenofAttolia The Bonds That Unite

4th March 2008:
Once again, I really like your narration and the Marauder dialogue, but James sounds a bit too formal/stuffy. I think that if you improved that, you'd have a dynamite chapter.

Good detail. Keep it up!

Author's Response: yeah it does come off that way now that im re-reading it. can i call it british humor? that would be pushing it a bit i basically have earned the status of awesome now.

 Report Review

Review #12, by TheQueenofAttolia Head's Patrol

4th March 2008:
I really like James's thoughts and the Marauder's dialogue. You've also included some very nice details about the school and characters that make it very clear how much thought you've put in. Lily's first bits of dialogue sounded a bit unnatural, but the rest was good. Great details about James and Snape. This chapter was even better than the first one. You're doing a good job!

Author's Response: Lily's character has been kind of an enigma to me because there has been alot of different perspectives of her in various stories. Hopefully it doesnt seem too off in the later chapters. Im really glad that your liking the story and giving me good feedback that i will definitley keep in mind in future writing.

 Report Review

Review #13, by TheQueenofAttolia Invisible

4th March 2008:
Man, poetic cliffhanger.

Yeah, I had the same problem with spacing issues. Basically, copying from Word doesn't work: you can't indent, italicize, bold, or underline unless you use html.

I really like your narration and description, it is very engaging. However, I thought that Tom's dialogue sounded a bit forced, even for a socially awkward person. I also thought that the letter didn't sound all that believable; that might be an area you would like to work on. Other than that, I was pretty impressed. Tom had some nice character development coming and I enjoyed his perspective on the Marauders. Nice job, keep it up!

Author's Response: wow! long reviews always make my day. and yes, i will admit that when i first started writing this i wasnt sure where i was going to go with it, so i will try and edit that once the story is finished which wont be too long from now. thanks for the advice with word though, it takes me forever to try and fix the spacing issues when i submit.

 Report Review

Review #14, by someone Corbeau Timbre Īle

9th February 2008:
I dunno why nobody reviews, this was a good chapter and its a wonderful story! I hope to see a new chapter soon! =)

Author's Response: thanks for reviewing. glad you are enjoying the story. im working on the next chapter but i have no clue when it will get done. hopefully soon.

 Report Review

Review #15, by Holden The Poet

16th December 2007:
AP Lit is the devil.

but other than that great story. cant wait for more. yes, it does seem random that i am leaving a review here and not a few chapters down the road, but hey-you never specified where you wanted reviews.

Author's Response: FINALLY SOMEONE AGREES WITH ME! GAH AP LIT-and now that im thinking about it i should be memorizing poems. and i never did specify where i wanted reviews, this is true.

 Report Review

Review #16, by ....... Bonded For Life

16th December 2007:
so i have a feeling you didnt really enjoy writing this chapter. but so far excellent story. cant wait to read more-update soon?

Author's Response: ...yah i guess it was kind of obvious that i didnt enjoy writing about the wedding. i guess i failed at hiding my annoyance at having to include that even though it was necessary. ill have one more update before christmas. hopefully...

 Report Review

Review #17, by ! The Poet

8th December 2007:
not one of your more exciting chapters but still excellently written. ive only gotten this far in your story. it's taking forever to read-not that i'm complaining. it's shocking that you only have 12 reviews for this story. wonder why that is?

Author's Response: well thanks for reading/reviewing. but im glad that you're giving me constructive feedback. but hey, you're helping me out in the number of reviews that i get. keep reading. hope you enjoy it.

 Report Review

Review #18, by =) Revelations

8th December 2007:
you finally updated! and wow this chapter was a beast! definitley worth the wait!

but...but...but...he's supposed to be dead! this was by ar the most shocking chapter by far. and the proposal!i loved that scene-especially how lily flips out at first. that was definitley funny! but that means the next chapter is the wedding! gah-write more. 10/10

Author's Response: wow-long reviews always make my days. glad you liked it. i figured that it should be worth the wait. and yes, the next chapter is the wedding. it will probably be the happiest moment in the story. but im probably going to start writing later tonight/tomorrow. we'll see how long this takes.

 Report Review

Review #19, by hplover Infinity on High

3rd December 2007:
this chapter was really good! hope u update soon.

Author's Response: thanks for reading/reviewing. always appreciate it. although im not sure when the next update will be. i plan on working on the next chapter a bit tonight, but im not sure if it will be done until thursday/friday. hopefully sooner, we'll see what happens.

 Report Review

Review #20, by =// Infinity on High

1st December 2007:
As much as I love your story, I hate you right now! I hate cliffies and I want to know who the heck this person is. Update fast please.

Although it was an excellent chapter 10/10

Author's Response: i am rather evil aren't i? i would have made it longer but if i did i would have had to go into long explanations and actually getting the infinity arcadem, well it would have been too long. and ill try and get this next chapter up asap. just need to write it first. im glad to see that begging did get a response.

 Report Review

Review #21, by =P The Forbidden Forest

30th November 2007:
Personally this is my favorite chapter so far. Update soon.

Author's Response: I had fun writing that chapter. Glad you liked it.

 Report Review

Review #22, by poptart_23 The Eternal Spring

23rd November 2007:
very good!! update soon!

Author's Response: glad you liked it. currently working on next chapter but unfortunatley it's being rather stubborn and proving difficult to write. i just cant seem to articulate what i want. but ill have something up soon, hopefully not too dissapointing.

 Report Review

Review #23, by POOH The Story of the Witch Who Never Lived

21st November 2007:
this is really good, i like how it ties in with the stuff we learned in DH.i hope to read more soon!

Author's Response: thanks for reading and the review. ive been trying to tie in the stuff from DH and HBP and it's nice to hear that someone else likes it too. and my next chapter should be up in like 3 or 4 days, which im excited about because i had alot of fun writing it. it's also a long one which will hopefully make everyone happy. thanks again for the review.

 Report Review

Review #24, by :( The Order of the Pheonix

17th November 2007:
wheres chapter 15?? it says u updated but chap 15 is not there?? :(

Author's Response: my old computer had a virus. =//

had to resubmit. now have to go back and change that previous statement. it will get up...eventually.

 Report Review

Review #25, by =) The Order of the Pheonix

13th November 2007:
hey! just came to say hi and that i cant wait until the next chapter!! :D

Author's Response: next chapter should be up soon. 2 more i think...

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>