I absolutely adore your story. I think almost everybody's very well characterised, it's great to read, and your plot is exciting and compatible to what could happen. All in all, I hope you post the next chapter very soon :) Report Review
I liked this chapter, (again!). You are really good with details and imagery, like I said before. This chapter was no exception. I’m glad you added in Luna’s capture. I was wondering if you would.
I’m adding this story to my favorites, definitely! Thanks for turning me on to such a great story!Author's Response: thanks :D
(and especially for the favourite) Report Review
Loved this chapter, really. You have such a way with words. I especially liked Draco sucking it up and kissing Sian, even if I don’t like her much. He may die and then what? He’d never have had the experience of kissing her.
Sorry it’s so short. Gonna continue now…you’re doing a great job!Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so glad you liked it - ha, he hasn't realized that yet though ;) sorry for the short responses, i have a lot of reviews to get through :/ Report Review
I’m looking forward to Halloween. This was a great chapter. I feel bad for Draco having to meet with Voldemort…
I used to like Sian but now I can really say that I don’t anymore. I used to think Draco would be good for her, but now he’s got his work cut out for him.
I love the description in the paragraph where she sends the letter. The part where she’s noticing how her owl is flying away. It made me feel like I was watching the owl leave, also. Good imagery!Author's Response: Thanks :)
Yeah, poor Draco, but there is a twist... Good. Sian is not a nice person, I would be worried if anyone could read the whole story and still completely like her XD
Thank you so much for teh great review, again! Report Review
Sorry, I believe my last review was supposed to go on chapter 5 8| I had these saved from when you requested and since you lost my reviews I wanted to repost them. Again, sorry! Now, the review for this chapter:
Well in your face, Blaise! Great chapter. I loved it, truly. You have a great way of writing that makes everything seem so real, an accomplishment not many can achieve.
I like the sorting. Usually it’s so overdone, so cliché, but yours is good. I liked how you introduced Theodore Nott’s little brother and had a little snippet from the meeting in there along with it. Great!Author's Response: ah, I see. Makes sense now :D
Thanks again! Aw, thats so nice to hear. I guess it's what everyone aims for in writing. I had so much fun writing the sorting! And Nott was always meant to have a bigger part (I did a lot of work on his character) but now I think he's being left out to some extent :(
thanks again! Report Review
Haha, dum dum dum!! Head boy? Well there ya go! Great chapter. I just love Sian even though I should hate her because she’s dark. I like the developing relationship between the two and how you’re not rushing it like most people do. Like how they meet in one chapter and are making out all over the place the next. It’s just not realistic…for most of us anyway. But you do a great job!
Off to read the next chapter! Sorry for such short reviews…lots of chapters, you understand…
-momoeAuthor's Response: I think this is posted on the wrong chapter...? but thank you :)
I'm glad you like Sian, and their relationship - I honestly wouldn't be able to rush it if I tried, I find those sorts of story very flat... and it's really not how it works in real life (well, not usually, but you know :P)
Short reviews are better than no reviews, and I'm so glad you're reposting these - I missed them :D Report Review
I love the way you describe everyone's emotions while they're waiting for Voldy to get to the meeting. The tone is just perfectly how I would picture them waiting for him. I see he's requiring them to answer for everything that has been going on. Again, he seems to be bent on destroying the Malfoys, but at least this time Draco succeeded. The fact that Sian showed a bit of weakness during their capture of Luna does something to put her closer to Draco's level, and the fact that he succeeded brings him up a bit. I think you have a very creative portrayal of how things happened for Luna to get captured.. Oh - and I loved how even Voldy was mentioning they made a great couple, even though he seemed to be saying it to be rude... ;) The action is really picking up, and I like it!Author's Response: hehe, yes, Voldy's not entirely pleased :) I don't thing he was trying to destroy the Malfoys, exactly, it was more ... um... gosh, I don't know, actually. Brain freeze :( Sian can't keep on being great at everything all the time > and this will turn up more in later chapters (if I ever get around to writing them) I loved writing Luna's capture - I had so much fun thinking of all the ways they could do it :) When Voldy said that I wasn't exactly thinking of them as a couple... although he may well have been being rude. Poor man, he's very pathetic really :)
Thanks so much again! And I'll stop bugging you for reviews, I promise :) Report Review
I really like this chapter. The way you show the interaction with DA members and other canon events really makes everything seem authentic. And I LOVE your Draco characterization in this chapter. It's just so realistic to how I think he'd act if all these things had been happening to him. It really believe that he probably was somewhat ostracized by the other Slytherins for being weak at that crucial moment in HPB, and Blaise seems to be really working to garner support for himself.
Their kiss seemed kind of random to me, but I think it fit because it was at a time when she was passionate about something and looked beautiful because of it. It's interesting how it gave him the strength to not be afraid of whatever this task is they are getting ready to do.Author's Response: ok... it's taken me a while to get around to responding to this :) I'm so glad you liked it, first of all. Blaise is definitely aspiring to be 'the new Draco', because he's seen that that position is now pretty much empty after him being a coward (in the DE's eyes at least) So yes, that's what's happening (although you knew that already... but bear with me - I'm trying to write longer review responses as I hate when i leave along review and then get a one-line response. Waffling is my way of filling up space without falling over in gratitude at the nice things you say. Which of course I am, but it always ends up looking pretty pathetic in writing ;)
hehe, yes, the kiss was random - but aren't the best kisses always random? Well - I guess he was just pleased he'd finally done it that gave him the courage more than anything - like how once you've jumped off the medium-sized diving board, you're not so afraid of the highest anymore.
Yay! Long response accomplished! Thanks so much again for coming back to review - especially as you muct have huge amounts of other things to do (oh, and congrats on becoming a Prefect!!) Report Review
Congrats for keeping at this longer than you have anything else... Fan fic will do that for you! :)
I like the creepy tone at the beginning of this chapter. I can feel Draco's suspense as he's apprehensively trying to figure out what the DL has planned for him.
The confrontation with Pansy and Blaise was great! I love the way you have Blaise being such a power-hungry jerk ... To Draco's weakened position, that is very threatening! Pansy is very drama-queen and, I think, in character. I also like the way you continue to characterize Sian.Author's Response: thanks! yay, I'm so glad you've come back to review... I always look forward to yours :)
I'm so glad you liked my characterisation - I had a lot of fun making them all as nasty as possible :) Yeah, I got fed up with Blaise always being the 'nice Slytherin'. argh I' runing out of time... thanks again :) Report Review
I think it has been one of my favorite chapters as well. I love the way this story is progressing. Amazing really, because I wasn't honestly sure if I would like it. Great job, and we would all rather you study and pass, then serve us a rushed chapter. =PAuthor's Response: thanks! I'm so glad you liked it, especially as you didn't before... (yay! a convert!) Don't worry, I'll pass - no rushed cahpters anyway, although this one was a little... hanyway, thanks again :] Report Review
Oooo 11th chapter yeah!!!
Character personalities were A-MAZ-ING as usual!! The way that you so effortlessly turned the tables on Sian and made her act a bit more clumsy in front of Draco (I mean face it she's Sian. When does she ever screw up a spell?) It makes for a great twist and growth (sorta more of declination) characterwise. Love it!!!
So Voldy thinks they are a cute pair does he? Well Uncle Voldy can always plan the wedding and marry his two mini death eater (I just had the funniest image pop into my head of Voldy in pastors robes and that HUGE hat reading vows...HA!) Well I think they are cute together...um I uh mean cute in an evil way.yeah!!
God this story just keeps getting better and better!!! I can't wait for the next update!!Author's Response: hey, thanks for reviewing! (as always) I'm so glad you liked it - lol, that was a funny review. Oh, that's not what I meant at all when Voldy said that... although now you mention it it does read a little like he's match making.... oh dear. Cute in an evil way is the best of all, dear xD
Next update won't be for a while, i have a chapter of Symapthy to write and exams... but as soon as possible, I promise :) Report Review
I love the way you manage to stick with canon in your story while making it your own as well. There's nothing much to say as you've managed to pull another two great chapters out of your hat. ;P
- jessAuthor's Response: hello again:) hehe, I don't have a hat, but I'm glad you liked them! thanks xD Report Review
Well, you're right! This certainly is your best chapter by far. We get to see your story linking up with what we know from JK, and we get to see some action.
The one particular incident I liked was that Luna was good at casting off the Imperious curse. Thats totally something she'd be good at just because she is on this totally different wavelength from everyone else.
Overall, a very good chapter. I hope that you write one more just to get your mind off studying, because after this chapter, 8+ weeks is a long ways off! Good work!
-Gords7015Author's Response: yay! thanks for reviewing again (if you want me to stop posting in your thread just let me know ^_^) Glad you liked it, and agree with me. No more boringness (thanks in part to you) Oh, Luna would definitely be good at that sort of thing -- she'd have a 'strong mind' or whatever it is that you need. I don't know about taking my mind off studying, because at the minute I really need to get my mind _on_ studying - haven't actually done any yet. But I'll try :) thanks again! Report Review
Love your story! another really really great chapter! i hope you do well on your Junior Cert!
Good luck! and i will be eagerly awaiting the next chapter! :)
10/10Author's Response: ooh, fast reviewing :) Glad you liked it! I hope I do well too... I have a few other stories that haven't been updated in a while, so I'll get to them first - but definitely before July lol thanks! Report Review
*squee* they kissed! I'm so happy! I'm SO sorry that it took me forever to get out all of these reviews i really really am! your story is so wonderful please keep it up, the chapters are amazing.
Your characterization for each character is excellent and the way that you OC is written its like i can feel her emotions or i can judge what she will feel without even having to read the next line because you've written her so well and i feel so in touch with her emotions and why she thinks this way and what not.
And goodness i love draco! The boy is just-*shivers*- he just so hot! How can their be a boy THAT hot?!
I'm SO happy that Half-blood prince is pretty much CONSTANTLY going to 'draco draco draco' that will be my favorite movie! Seriously!
I just want you to know that you are an amazing writer! Your skills are fabulous! and you deserve a wonderful
10 billion/10 :D
i'm definitely adding this story to my favorites!Author's Response: phew, last one. Not that I'm not enjoying this mountain of praise - my typing fingers are just getting a little tired :D
Oh, don't worry, I havn't been online in a while so I didn't notice ;)
Oh, I'm so happy you think that about Sian - make me all warm inside, it really does :)
Hehe, strangely I don't find draco hot. But whatever floats your boat i guess... lol. I'm looking forward to HBP too - my favourite book, so i hope they don't screw it up. And yeah, we could all do with less Daniel radcliffe and more evil. :)
Anyway, thank you so, so much! Seriously, your reviews have made my day. thanks for the favourite, and the reviews ! :)
I really like this chapter! It's amazingly good! I love all the chapters actually! Your story is amazing, and I love Sian.
Hating Blaise, and feeling sorry because Pansy's so stupid. But I CAN'T wait until the next confrontation between Sian and Pansy it should be very interesting lol :)
10/10Author's Response: Hate Blaise? But he's my favourite! I love writing him - anywhoodle, rambling. Thanks once again! :) Report Review
Oh no! I wish that Sian wouldn't have been so mean! I hope everything works out for them or she gets out of the death eater business as well! :(
10/10Author's Response: you see - Sian isn't nice. :) hehe, the 'death eater business' - that makes it sound like a family company or something xD anyway... thanks! Report Review
Your story really really really isn't boring, its quite the opposite! It's extremely interesting to me! I love how Sian reacts to not being friends with Draco, and i really REALLY wanted her to hex Pansy into next week. That would've made me very happy.
Not only that but i don't find it melodramatic or confusing! I love how Blaise is that much more evil then Draco. I don't know if Draco even realizes how much he seems to like Sian.
and Sian...I feel bad for her, she just wants draco as a friend back and here Draco is, being mean to her because he has to...
*sigh* i hope they can be together or at least it all work out in the end!
great chapter! 10/10Author's Response: My ego is going to be too big to carry around when I've finished reading your reviews :) thanks so much! Don't feel bad for Sian. She isn't a nice person. But yes, hexing Pansy would've been fun :) Nah, Draco's stupid like that. Most guys are ;)
thank you so much once again - (10/10!! yay!) Report Review
Oh my goodness i really liked this chapter. Sian's personality has gotten to me because Hannah was irritating when you first introduced her. Really i wanted her to shut up. lol
It was great though, everyone is personified perfectly! I love how Sian was worried about Mcgonagall at first, I would be to!
I wonder how 'avoiding draco' is going to go! Keep up the great work! 10/10Author's Response: Hannah is irritating, isn't she? I hate people like that. I think everyone's a little worried about mcGonagall, she's a scary woman lol. Avoiding Draco doesn't go well -- as I'm sure you know by now :) thanks again! Report Review
I really like this story! It's very good, I like the fact that its pretty much implied that the moment when they looked at each other was the memory Draco chose to conjure his patronus.
It was a very great chapter can't wait to read more! loving it so far! :D 10/10Author's Response: thanks again! ooh, 10/10! Report Review
mhmm cheesecake lol.
This was another good chapter! I'm surprised (yet at the same time not) that she was able to kill two order members while i was reading i almost had to remember that i was against the death eaters! she was being all to convincing! I almost turned to the dark side!
o.O other then my questioning the good and evil in the world from her pov. when it got to Draco I felt so horrible I really do wish that he was in gryffindor so that none of this would have to happen to him! *cries*
Characterization of everyone is excellent great work! :D 10/10Author's Response: hehe, cheesecake is good! Oh, go on, change to the dark side! It's fun over here ;) yeah, she's becoming evil, dear oh dear. *spoilers* And poor Draco - don't cry, I'll give him a happy ending :)glad you lik it, thanks so much for reviewing! Report Review
Hello! This is KaraBlack returning your review request! Here we go!
okay, being brutually honest...i HAVE to say that this is an amazing story. Very impressed. The descriptions were just enough it wasn't so much that it was bothersome or to little for it it seem necessary to have more. the perfect amount in my opinion.
But from here i will go on with the things that i like:
-First, I love the title (its a bit of a mouthful!) :)
-The beginning with Sian-a very interesting name i might add- it seemed very appropriate that she would end up in the dark arts with her readings living in a house like that. I would've thought it more out of character for her to be a happy child with all that going on.
-Next! Something else that i thought was great, was the way that her POV was written, it just really flowed in my opinion it was just so...i don't know how to describe it, but it was just amazing...really really great work on that by the way.
-another thing that I thought was just perfect! was Draco. (maybe i'm a bit bias because of the fact that i'm so in love with the boy) BUT, his character was written so well! I actually laughed at the part with draco eating cereal and voldemort being right there. I mean, how weird is that? lol, I can also imagine Narcissa being angry because Voldemort left the toilet seat up! lol (sorry i just pictured a show called 'living with Voldemort') o.O
But yes, everything about this chapter i loved it was really great in my opinion! nice job! I didn't see anything to complain about i honestly didn't. :)
10/10 -very well deserved :)Author's Response: thanks for coming to review! I'm very glad that you liked it... ooh, and the title. yeah, but isn't a mouthful better than half a loaf (or something like that - im not so good with metaphors) Sian is a great name, isn't it? My friend has a friend called that and it's awesome... anyway. I'm glad you liked her (or how I wrote her, at least) as well - happy children are no fun to write. Lol, was there a bit with draco eating cereal? I don't remember that.. but yeah, weird. I won't say Im in love with him, but Draco is great. Would be my fav character if not for Bellatrix. :)
Hehe, you can tell that review made me happy - i rambled a lot there :) thank you so much again (10/10! yay!) Hope you come back to review more (maybe? hmm? lol) Report Review
Oh my god this is simply amazing. It has the tension of a romance, the plot of a mystery novel, and the flow of JK Rowling's books!!! I love it!!!
THe beginning was so funny!! Sian vs. Pansy (personally my money is on Pansy) that was hysterical, how Pansy kept cursing her under the table...ahhh classic.
The Draco and Ginny confrontation sounded like a direct excerpt from an actual Harry Potter book. The way that Ginny's friend tried to stop her and just as Ginny was about to strike Snape walks up. Classic Rowling.
Rowanne is amazing. I think she is one of my favorites!! Flipping off the Slytherin Quidditch team, that was so funny!!!
Then how can we forget the kiss between Sian and Draco at the end. All I can say about that is "It's about time!!" Jeesh it was so obvious that they both wanted to do that for so long!!!
CAn't wait to see what's coming up so update soon!!! Loved it as usual (when don't I?)Author's Response: yay! Sorry, I'm not sure what to say, I'm still giggling from your last review... yeah, I'm immature.
money on Pansy? You'll lose that bet I'm afraid, although Pansy can be pretty fierce :)
Heh, glad you like Rowanne, she used to have a much bigger part but she's sort of getting cut out... I like her too :) We can't forget the kiss, dear me no. yeah, they can all stop procrastinating now.
I'll try update soon, I have about 1/3 of the next chapter written (I know it doesn't sound like a lot, but the hard part is over) so i'll get the next up as soon as we're allowed to submit again. Glad you still like it, thanks so much as always! Report Review
Oo yeah a lollipop.I'll take a...grape!!!
I feel awful that I haven't been able to review!!! Grrr.stupid life just gets in the way!
ANyway I love the way that you write the SLytherins. It's not that cliched way of where the writer overabuses the power, sex, and firewhiskey. You seamlessly blend all of them in with arrogance, ego, and just overall male power struggle. It makes for a very dark and edgy glamour that I have always imagined the Slytherin house possessing.
Ahhh so Draco had yet to meet our slithery red eyed friend (well he's not really or friend but you know what I mean). I highly doubt that Voldy would want Draco to do anything besides drop dead at the moment (no offence to Sian or anything). But Voldy is not a patient man...snake thing.
Loved it as usual and I am off to read chapter 10 (God I am behind!!)Author's Response: one lollipop for you :) Don't worry about not reviewing, better late than never (to use a phrase I hate) Wow, "dark and edgy glamour"? Sounds like a film review... lol. I dunno, I'd want to keep on Voldy's good side - I'll call him my friend for now :) Oh, that review made me laugh. Man... snake thing... hehe, thank you so much ! Report Review
Very nice chapter. I didn't spot any major issues, and I really liked this chapter! There seems to be a lot of action! Between the quiddich, the DA, and the sudden meeting with Voldemort, it adds to the pace in a really good way!
I'm glad that you got this chapter in before the closing of the queue, so nice work!Author's Response: thanks for coming back :) Yeah, i took your advice and upped the action a bit - next chapter has muchos drama, etc! I'm glad i got this in before the queue closed, I speed wrote and got 3/4 done in two days :) Extra motivation is always good. Thanks again! Report Review
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