To be honest, it's not the most realistic. Narcissa wouldn't dare speak to Voldemort like that and I doubt she even knows his name is Tom. Also she has no power over him, if she spoke to him like that she'd be dead.
Also you're spelling Voldemort wrong and Sirius isn't related to Harry. Report Review
Brilliant plot and story! I would say that you writing is almost similar to mine with my story for Cho Chang. There are some things I would like point out that Sirius is Harry's Godfather. Other then that this is good chapter. 8/10Author's Response: Thanks. Sorry I haven't been around for some time. Been busy. Just wanted to let you know I have updated the first chapter as I am rediting all my chapters. Hopefully the second chapater will be done soon Report Review
Yay, another chapter! I haven't started reading this story yet, but I'm keeping an eye on it. Glad to see that you're still updating this one. I'm really looking forward to reading this one. Keep it up!
CanAuthor's Response: Thanks. Just to let you know. I am redoing the chapters. Making more details. I have had the first chapter validated and it shouldn't be long before the second one is done. Report Review
Hmm, all right. I have to say; it's not boring, though it goes a bit slow. Perhaps you could lengthen the chapters. I like the way you're going and you got me really curious, and though your writing-style could use some improvement I definitely like this story.
And about the writing-style; for exampe, you say 'Harry looks back but is shocked when he saw the wizard who had an argument with Tonks earlier entered'. First, you use the present for ( Harry looks back ) and then suddenly you go back to the past ( and saw the Wizard ). This kind of mistakes make the story a bit harder to read, but overall I did like it and I hope you post the next chapter soon. Keep it up, love =)Author's Response: Sorry about that, I'm not an expert but I'm doing the best I can at the moment. Report Review
nice update bit slow gettin on thoughAuthor's Response: I know but it took 8 days to be validated Report Review
good start so update soonAuthor's Response: Don't worry I will. The next chapter is in progress and will be done hopfully soon Report Review
i think that i may have read part of this story on fanfiction.com and really enjoyed it but hopefully its originalAuthor's Response: Really, well i've never written on Fanfiction.com before, but I never copied this. I wrote it myself so if there is any simulations then it is most likely accidental Report Review
Pretty boring :D...sry!,but that's what i think! But it doesn't matter if you make the next chapter more interesting,like add a crazy new idea to the story!!!Author's Response: Not the kind of review I was expecting but at least your honest. The second chapter is being written at the moment and most likely take a while to be validated. Report Review
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