1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Jessy_ann_Black The Final Battle as told by: Jenny Anders

23rd August 2007:
Ok again you need discription for isnstamce you refer to the death eaters as just that death eaters. You could discribe what they look like,

(example) A death eater with shaggy dark hair and piercing grey eyes ran out in front of me, I could tell my just looking at the detirmination in his eyes that he meant business.

Do you see where I'm coming from? I'm sorry if I'm being a little harsh. I think you have the potential to be a good writer. This could be a great story :)

Author's Response: I am going to rewrite it probably. It was an on the spot chapter for a contest on Hogwarts Experience. I am also working on the future chapters.

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