Reading Reviews for Only With Acceptance
  
30 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Laugharama_llama Godric's Hollow

12th February 2010:
Hello, I'm here with your review from the forums!

Aw, that was so sad :( I think this was a nice plot and I like the way you played it out! It was very nice seeing this kind of really perfect yet unrealistic dream Ginny had, as compared to reality.

The writing was a little choppy and the dialogue was stiff at times. I think those are both things that you need to work on, but it's also something that develops as you write more. There are also tutorials on the forums if you want to check those out!

Other that that I thought this was good! It was well plotted out and an enjoyable read! I like how you showed how everyone was, and how life goes on even though Ginny didn't think it would.

Author's Response: Aww thank you =] This was my first ever one-shot. So naturally it would have the most of my mistakes. Or maybe it's just talent. I can't be a perfect writer. But anyways, I'll keep what you said in mind =] And I'm glad you liked it =] Thanks for reviewing

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Review #2, by Lunnah Godric's Hollow

29th March 2008:
Sorry this review took so long!
First of all I liked all of the elements of this story. The description in the beginning, the dream, the flashback, and the incorporation of Draco. These are all strong concepts and I thought it was all very heartfelt. One thing I did have a problem with was that Draco was out of character. I didnt have a problem with what he said necessarily, but just how open and random he was. Your grammar and vocabulary are great! Some sentences are a bit redundant and I think some paragraphs could be condensed to make a stronger point, but overall I think this was a very well rounded chapter. Great job!

Author's Response: Sorry it took so long to reply back to your review. Almost 5 years. Lol man i'm slacking.

I'm glad you liked the story and took the time to share your thoughts. I appreciate the flaws you pointed out as well. Before I quit writing I had planned to write a novel explaining the OOCness of Draco that also tied into my other story Petunia's Change. I'm not sure when but I will redo Petunia's Change and also begin the novel that explains everything including Draco.

Hope that cleared everything up for you and thank you again for reviewing =]


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Review #3, by moleymole Godric's Hollow

8th October 2007:
wow such a moving story!
thats briliant!
loved it loved it all:D

Author's Response: Yes I try to write stories that won't leave the reader's mind. It's hard. I'm not the best author but I do with the skills I have. =] I'm glad you liked it.

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Review #4, by Hermionesclass101 Godric's Hollow

1st October 2007:
A touching little AU one-shot. Written well, and I like the little."flash forward" in the middle. Ginny was perfectly canon, and she's a hard character to write. Draco was very OOC though. Even if you added a sentence like, "He tried hard not to look uncomfortable when he realized she was crying all over him," Idk, something like that, to give us a glimpse of the old Draco. Good job!! =)

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing!!!! I'm glad that you took the time to. I'm glad that you liked the flash forwards and everything. =]. Draco being OOC is trivial, and besides, I'm coming out with a story that explains it all as soon as I can think of something else to write with it, though I will take your advice. =]

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Review #5, by Aligiah Godric's Hollow

1st October 2007:
First off I would like to address the first paragraph, I like how descriptive that paragraph was, more than the other paragraphs in the chapter. Something about it made me want to finish the chapter, so I have to give you good credit for that before the rest of the story.

Now, the rest was good, lacking in some areas with description, but nonetheless well written. I just have to say something about Draco. I'm sure you have heard that he is out of character, and it's true. He seems to wise to be the Slytherin that readers have come to know. For instance, he is a coward in his own way, so he would be a hypocrite to say things like "Your trying to create a world you know will never come true. You keep hurting yourself by going back to these memories." I think that he couldn't let go what he had done... but that is my personal opinion.

Also, was Draco stalking Ginny? It sounded like it when he said: "I have watched you for too long and it pains me to see you suffer like this." It scared me.

I hope I didn't offend you in anyway. Go ahead and hit me with a rubber band if you want. :]

Overall I will rate this an 8.

Alex

Author's Response: Yeah, sometimes I'm good at using description, but most of the time I'm not. I'm glad you were inclined to finish the chapter though. The part of Draco. I guess I should put a spoliers warning because I wrote a story describing it all, but It's on hiatus right now because of a humongous writer's block. I hope to get it up pretty soon though. Draco is Friends with Ginny in the end to Ginny in the story that i'm working on that takes place before this so he naturally knows that she suffers and witnesses it. No you did not offend me in anyway. I love constructive criticism almost as much as i love reviews full of nothing but the goodies. =] Thank you for leaving the great review.

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Review #6, by Blue Flame Godric's Hollow

13th September 2007:
Alrighty, criticism first.

i'm really not sure of the tense you have here, its confusing, and sometimes you switched it in random areas. Also, Draco was OOC, I understand you want him to talk to Ginny, but you have to be careful not to make him to soft, he is a Malfoy after all, you know? I also think it could have been a little more descriptive, but thats just me, as I love descriptions. a little side note, the dialogue seemed a little forced and too formal, I think it would have been a little more tense and informal, she is mourning Harry after all. Despite this, i whooped at their encounter, I am a Ginny/Draco shipper, so naturally I LOVED the graveyard scene.

All in all, not bad, but it could use some work, I would reccomend a beta and a quick sweep through, add a couple sentences and try not to make Draco so...soft and emotional..i dont know how else to describe it.

A quick word of apology for taking so long to review this, :] school has started so I havent been on as much, hope you understand, if you have any questions of anything I have said in this review, feel free to Owl me at the forums :]

Nice Job

Cait [aka cappie on the forums]

Author's Response: By tense do u mean as in moments or the grammatical way? Well I'll go take a look at it anyways. Yes I know Draco was OOC, but as I have told countless of other people, I have another story that I'm working on and am about to post giving all the details about Draco's change and hopefully no one will be left in confusion. I'm not good at descriptives I'm sad to say. i had to write a descriptive essay in English today and barely passed. This was my first story that I ever wrote so that makes it special. It is also my most popular I'm thinking. I am getting betas for all my stories shortly. =] Thank you for the review. I loved it!!!!!!!!

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Review #7, by edenvirg Godric's Hollow

31st August 2007:
Hi there! :) Overall, I thought this one-shot was a very emotional but beautifully-written story. The memories or thoughts of the future that you've chosen for Ginny to reflect on were good in that it made the whole act of remembering more poignant. For the graves, though, I don't know. The thought that each one didn't deserve to die was kind of repetitive; maybe it would have more impact if you had thought of something unique for each one? Hehe. ;) Also, I found the introduction of Draco into the story to be quite abrupt, as well as Ginny's mood change after he talked to her. Maybe the transition could be made more smoothly by adding a paragraph of how Draco was in those fifteen years after the War anyway? And why was he by Harry's grave...? Those little details could be ironed out to give the one-shot a more realistic touch. :)

Author's Response: First off I would like to say I'm glad that you liked it. There is much to do in so little time and I'm working on a novel on another account(SYN) that explains everything even though it will be forever till we actually finish the story. All the details will be ironed out in that story I promise. =]

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Review #8, by ralj1640 Godric's Hollow

30th August 2007:
Wow, that was really good. It wasn't supper emotional but it had a sence. There was only two things that bothered me though. One was when Ginny said I'll talk to oyu later to draco. I just really hated that. Then the breaking up of the pargraphs oyu where a bit... lackadasical. (I couldn't risit it was one of my vocab words) You just raelly seemed not to care. But other than that... I can really find no errors. The plot was really simpl;e wich was good. So in the end. Amazing story:)

Author's Response: Oh thank you. Please send me a PM to tell me what you thought was wrong or what you didn't like because I really don't understand what you said. I mean about the breaking of the paragraphs and when Ginny told Draco she would see him later. thank you for reviewing my story. =]

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Review #9, by Magical Me13 Godric's Hollow

29th August 2007:
Let me start out by saying that the emotion in this story is portrayed very nicely. I enjoy the somber mood throughout and am shocked at the intensity of the story, not many authors can take something like this and make it so mature. I definetly could say this is the best one-shot I've ever read. 10/10
Magical Me13

Author's Response: Thank you so much! It's nice to find someone who absolutely adores your story or at least enough to give it a ten. I'm glad you liked it so much. I will continue to write more stories so check back later if you want. =] Thank you again!!!

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Review #10, by dramione12 Godric's Hollow

29th August 2007:
I was really good how Draco Helped Ginny move on and the end was really aweet! :-)

Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad that you thought of this story as a good one. I hope you liked it enough to review my other stories. =]

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Review #11, by summerR Godric's Hollow

28th August 2007:
i dont think you have too- not many people did so, it's all good. I liked it and no one complains so leave it lol. and again i liked it!!!

Author's Response: Haha. Thank you!!!

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Review #12, by SummerR Godric's Hollow

26th August 2007:
Okay. That was insanely sad. And alltho it is AU still it was so good and really descriptive. You are really great at writeing visuals, keep it up
xox

Author's Response: Should I put an AU warning on the story then? I'm not really sure. But thanks for the lovely review. I shall definately keep it up. =]

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Review #13, by lilyandjamesfan Godric's Hollow

26th August 2007:
that was really well written and i like how you let her reflect on what she would have wanted to happen and what actually did happen. i think your choice of draco helping ginny to see that she needed to accecpt that harry died is good, mainly because its sometimes easier to listen to an 'outsider' of such than someone close. i also like the flashback to when harry died rather than just describing her feelings over it you get to know what happened.

Author's Response: Ooooh YAY!!! A good long review. I'm not good at those. I wish I was. I'm glad you liked it. I wrote it a long time ago and recently just put it on here. I try to make flow with the sentances so people can understand it better. I like using flashbacks because as you said you get to know what happened. People tell me Draco is out of character. I'm having to write a story now explaining all of Draco's changes and everything else. Well I'm glad you reviewed my story. Thankies=]

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Review #14, by fallenstarr Godric's Hollow

21st August 2007:
Beautiful. I really liked all the emotion of it. The scene with the Quidditch game and everything was a bit confusing at first until I figured out who everybody was. I would suggest trying to make that a bit more clear, but everybody has problems when they add OC as minor charactors. Over all well done.

Author's Response: Thanks. =]. I'm glad you liked it enough to review. Very much emotion went into this one. All the kids are confusing I must admit. I guess I shall explain it a little better and making the story a couple of words longer won't hurt either. Thanks for the advice. And for the review. =]

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Review #15, by onceuponatime2 Godric's Hollow

20th August 2007:
Well, it was pretty good. The dialogue needs some work, though. And you might want to get a beta, I saw some mistakes, not big ones, but still mistakes. 7/10

Author's Response: Hm. I had a beta. I guess they just combed through it and fixed the most noticeable errors. Please someone tell me. What's wrong with the dialogue because I see no problem with it? Thanks for the review =]

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Review #16, by Jessy_ann_Black Godric's Hollow

19th August 2007:
I really liked this, I'm adding it to my favourites. There were a few spelling errors but we all make mistakes :) good job

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. Wow it must be good if you are adding it to your favorites. I'm going to go fix all the grammatical errors after a couple of my other stories are validated. Thanks for the review. =]

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Review #17, by JamesandLilly4ever Godric's Hollow

18th August 2007:
Aww that was sad. I loved it!

Author's Response: Thank you. Another story is being validated right now. You should go check it out once it is. =] thanks for the review.

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Review #18, by the nutty imp Godric's Hollow

16th August 2007:
Draco was OOC... He just doesn't feel like Draco. there's the lack of haugthy arrogance that so much imbedded in his characterization. Although some authors does this and get away simply because they showed how certain events changed him. You unfortunately failed to do that here. Draco simply popped out and he isn't Draco.

The story feels a bit too choppy you'd need to work on your transitions on this piece. You can try and set up the mood with some description for each section.

You also started off too many sentences with "She", try to vary it a bit. :) I would also suggest that you vary your dialogue structure. I mean instead of:
"bla bla bla" he said
"bla bla bla" she said
try:
She rolled her eyes and shot back "bla bla bla"
"bla bla bla" he responded.
Move the dialogue position around and try to use alternative to the word said. It just slightly overused here.

You depicted Ginny well and showed her sorrow clearly. Like how her mind wandered and reminiscence on the past and wonder about the 'what-ifs'. A good and sweet ending.


Author's Response: Yes Draco was weird. and I'm working on the novel telling all about Draco's change and many more things. This story comes last. i hope it clears the confusion about him up. As for saying she too much and the dialogue structure I don't know what else to do. I'm not the best writer with perfect writing skills. I'm just making do with the skills that I have. Sorry if I sound snappy. I'm glad you liked the ending. thanks for the review. =]

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Review #19, by Zacharias_Smith Godric's Hollow

15th August 2007:
I had mixed feelings about this..more positive than negative though. I do think it could improved but the premise of the story is good and there was a lot of great stuff in it. Your characterization of Ginny was good, in her grief and eventual acceptance, but I thought Draco was just a little off. There wasn't really enough to him. He just felt like he could have been any guy, really. Not arrogant or snidey enough. I know that wouldn't have been appropriate to the situation, but if you weren't going to put any of that into their exchange then it would have been good to at least get some history on their relationship. I felt a bit unconvinced by their sudden friendship and I think it might have been more poignant or interesting if there was a bit more about how Ginny felt about Draco. Without that, it could really have been anybody who spoke to her then.
There were quite a few grammar/punctuation mistakes, eg:

“James,” Lily scolded, “Is that all you think about

And that’s all that mattered. (this was a particular shame as it was the last sentence. It should be 'that was all that mattered'.)

I did like the idea of the imaginary scene and I liked the fact Ginny had to move on from her grief. I did think that overall the style was a little bit choppy. Some parts, particularly towards the end, flowed really well, but it took a while to sort of..get into the flow of the style.

Anyway this was good and with a bit of editing definitely has the potential to be great.

Author's Response: Wow. thank you for leaving me such a lovely review. I'm writing a novel now telling all about Draco's change and everything. I know it's a little hard to comprehend why Draco seemed like a friend to Ginny in this with no insults thrown, but bear with me I hope to answer eveyone's questions about him in my novel. i have the first four chapters written. A person can change a lot in 15 years as i've said before, even Draco can. I agree my spelling isn't the best. Sometimes I type to fast and I'll miss stuff and my punctuation isn't great. I'm working on that now amd I guess I shall get a beta as soon as I can. I will definately take your advice on the ending sentance. I was a little bit iffy about that too but I couldn't think of nothing else at the moment so I was stuck with that. So I am glad you enjoyed and reviewed. I will take your advice and get a beta. =]

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Review #20, by ElissandrAnne Godric's Hollow

15th August 2007:
It was sad. I hate it when Harry dies... *sigh* Ginny unable to move on, feeling torn between wanting to visit Harry's grave and being afraid to do so. I'm glad she found the support of two men, her son's, and unexpectedly, Draco's. Nicely done!

Author's Response: Yes it was very sad. That's what makes the story so good. I want the reader to step in Ginny's shoes and try to see how she feels. I want them to try and wonder what they would do in a situation like that. Thanks for the review. I'll read more of your stuff when I get time. =]

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Review #21, by _Emma_ Godric's Hollow

15th August 2007:
I loved it so much! It almost made me cry! I feel really sorry Ginny and Sirius. When I read that Harry was dead I felt so sad. You have written it so well to make people feel like that.

Author's Response: I'm sorry it almost made you cry *evil cackle* but I figured that that's where I'm best at is angst stories. I really appreciate your review. Thank you. =]

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Review #22, by Emilee_Baybee Godric's Hollow

15th August 2007:
wow!!
ok that fic nearly had me in tears!! I loved the fact that she wanted to go to his grave but she also couldn't ace up to it. You conveyed her feelings really well.
i like the fact that she thinks Sirius is him sometimes, i think that will give her comfort that he isn't truly gone.
Draco, draco, draco...well what can i say?? It's weird to have him comforting Ginny. i thought she might have been nastier with him to be honest...but your way worked better!!
great fic i can't wait to read more!!!
.x. emilee .x.

Author's Response: thank you. I'm glad you liked it enough to review it. =]. I decided to give ginny one bit of Harry to make the story more interesting so I gave her a son and then since it's a part of Harry she mistakes him sometimes. Yes Draco is a good guy and I have always believed that. that's why I put it in there. You've got to realize that 15 years have past and a person can change a lot in 15 years. I am writing a novel explaining how Draco came onto the light side and everything else so I hope you stay in tune for that too. Thanks for the lovely review. =]

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Review #23, by nmpsr_14 Godric's Hollow

14th August 2007:
Hi! Here from Review Revenue! I know, different username.

First of all, it was a good read. Something different.

In the beginning the word 'she' was used quite frequently. It seemed very choppy with 'she' being overused. It eventually got better over the course of the story.

Some spelling and grammatical errors proved to be somewhat of a disctraction, though I purely understand that this site is not the most convenient one for editing.

The storyline was cute with Ginny building this imaginary world where everyone is alive and happy, as it should be. Although it was confusing at first to get into it.

Draco was really OoC, something that usually doesn't sit well with me. You should put history into their friendship, possibly how it began. Make it a more pausible storyline. I understand he told Ginny about how he just wanted his father to be proud of him and how he was envious of Harry. It was a good idea to include that in.

His eyes that were usually filled with love and happiness and even fear and hate were now completely devoid of any emotion.

That quote struck me -- in a good way :D. Flows nicely, and I do look for these kinds of phrases that stick in my mind after reading a story.

So overall, good job. Watch out for errors, possibly get a beta. Put more backstory into the plotlines. And that's all I really have to say :D


Author's Response: Yes I'm not the best speller everyone makes mistakes. I'm going to redo it sometime and fix all the typos and everything. Yeah i get mixed up and I don't know if I should use her name or she or what. It's always been a problem of mine. I know no one would expect this of Draco. I'm working on a novel right now having to do with Voldemort's downfall and it explains everything in it so I hope it clears some of that confusion up. I love the quote as well. I'm usually a fairly decent writer but then I'll just throw something random out there that is awesome. So I'm glad you read my story. I love the awesome review. i'll go to your stories(if you have any) tomorow because my grandma is kicking me off the comp now. Again thanks for the review. =]

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Review #24, by Celtic_Dreamer7 Godric's Hollow

14th August 2007:
Wow. That was very well written, very emotional. I hope there will be more chapters after this one. I want to read what happens next.

Celtic

Author's Response: Well it was originally just a one-shot but you gave me a great idea by making it into at least a short story. I don't know that would be kind of hard because I left the story as a closed plot and not an open one. I don't know i'll have to think about it. Thanks for the review. I'm glad you liked it =]

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Review #25, by loveisdraco Godric's Hollow

14th August 2007:
Written beatifully, brought a tear to my eye. Haha sorry it was a brilliant story well done. 10/10

x

Author's Response: Wow! thank you. I should warn people to get a box of kleenex's for this story I guess. So glad you liked it.

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