i very much enjoyed the story. 10's all around!Author's Response: Wow, thank you, dear sinwillys822! Report Review
Oh ... my ... God this is so moving. I cried at the end! How did you come up with a story like this?
If only it was a little longer... (Do I sound greedy?)
It's post-DH, isn't it? I'm new here, and I'm starting on a story of my own, also post-DH. If you're familiar with "Snapegirl"'s stories, you would see Severus finding solace in soulmates like Amelia Amarotti, fromk a very early time in his life, but in my story, Severus will find love after been bitten by that snake, so his heart would be much harder for that special lady to pry open ...
In a few days the first chapter will be validated and posted. Please check it out!
VermouthAuthor's Response: Dear Vermouth, thank you very much for your review! I'll check out your story, indeed! wings Report Review
Sometimes it's just so hard to find something on this site that's not 100% poppycock, I consider you as one of my favorite authors here (though I'd really like to see the next chapter of Venomous candy!) and I'll try to find time to read your other stories.
Now to the story...
You really kept to your word, the dialogues between Lily and Severus are really intelligent and not a single syllable is boring!
However... first, may I ask if you can make adjustments to already-posted stories? If so, then you can consider my little suggestion:
Are you familiar with stories that contain LONG quotations and dialogue, like Sherlock Holmes? Then you'd notice that when a person's words are divided into paragraphs, they go like this:
"ghr, tefhtr, tefhgt.
"htjydjhdtyet, 'fghgrs?' trhshtrs, 'fehsgdhntr.' aehdfg.
"gsrhrgshtetewh, ehthgeeaea; shettheeth.
Pay no attention to the letters themselves, I'm just using them to make up space. What I'm trying to tell you is that you should begin one's speech with a single quotation mark at the beginning of 1st paragraph, then start a new paragraph with a single quotation mark in the beginning, and so on, until you reach the speech's end, with quotation marks at both the beginning and end of said final paragraph. That way, you see, readers could make sure that they're reading a complete part of a character's words and not get confused trying to figure out whether its part of a quotation or not.
So if you can, would you be so kind as to add some necessary quotation marks? Then your story would really be perfect!Author's Response: Hi David!
Wow, thank you very much! I really rarely get such constructive reviews, and now I'm truly grateful.
Of course I can change my already posted chapters, why not?
So far, I have to admit, I was not familiar with this kind of quotation, but I'm a keen learner. :) I think I have some Sherlock e-books somewhere on my hard drive, so I'll try to correct my story according to what you've said.
As you might know, I'm not a native speaker, so I greatly rely on suggestions made by my readers!
Thank you, David! Thank you very much and I hope to see you again!
wings Report Review
lovely story, made me cry by the endAuthor's Response: OMG! That\\\'s so nice to hear! Thank you! Report Review
That was a very beautiful story.
And completely unlike anything I have ever read before. I'm not really sure why but it really reminded me of the Cathy/Heathcliff/Young Cathy conflict in Emily Bronte's 'Wuthering Hieghts'.
Lily was perfectly characterised, that was how I had imagined her, and the language was very intellegent and moving.
Well done! This is definatly going to be added as a favourite!Author's Response: OMG! What can I say? It was a beautiful review! Thank you dear Leelee! This story came quite suddenly, because I felt bitter and shaken after the seventh book; I just had to vent these feelings. This story haven't received many reviews, though I find it one of the deepest of my stories. Thank you for discovering and understanding its depth! Thank you! That is the most flattering thing an author can receive! Thank you! Love, wings
ps: waiting for the rest of your SS/HG story! Report Review
Wow. That was intense. I can't think of what else to say. Beautiful and moving. Thank youAuthor's Response: Hi Cfm887,
I'm glad that the story was able to express the deep emotions behind the words. It was hard to write because of all the emotions that had whirled in my mind.
Thanks for appreciating it! Thanks for being such a faithful reader! wings Report Review
You are the one and only author in my favorite authors section. I just adore your work!!! Look out for my reviews of The Daemon I will be reading that one next. Unfortunately I won't be reading Pepper and Vanilla as I notice the pairing of Dramonie & I hate it!!!
I happen to think that Lily owed Snape an apology so it was nice to see that written and in such a gripping and tragic way.
I also agree with you on how Snape treated Harry, and that he always thought Harry should have been his.
As always great descriptions and story flow that was as usual pusling with emotions from both sides!!
10/10 if I could give more I would!Author's Response: Hi Harry's Darling,
Wow, I'm totally breathless... I'm the one and only fav author! Wow! *dances crazily around*
The Daemon, well, it was an early work of mine, and as such it has several problems and mistakes, I admit. I hope you will like the main ideas, but please forget me those mistakes and trips. :D
It's okay with Valilla and pepper, I also mix it up sometimes. lol
As for Dramione, it's not a classic Dramione. (I hate those, too. lol) It's about a twisted marriage to a politically advancing man, Draco, and how Hermione manages to outsmart him and his family, finding an ally, namely Snape. ;)
As for the Fallen Angel, I hated how JKR erased Snape from the story, just because he became the strongest character of the book. I hoped to bring him justice with this story. I'm really glad you liked it!
i really like this fic. it's dark and Lily is so different then how most people write her. does Lily love Severus enstead of James? 20/10Author's Response: Hello GREENTIGEREYES,
thanks for your review! Lily loves them both, I think. It's a difficult question, you know, and perhaps not even Lily could tell whom she loves better. I believe she regrets treating Snape the way she treated. Thanks a lot, wings Report Review
Oh this was just tragic, and like nothing else I've ever read before. I like your characterization of Lily and how she isn't perfect. I liked how for a change, she had to apologize to Severus instead of the other way around; it's a breath of fresh air.
There's nothing more that I can say about this, but it was beautiful and very well written (of course) and I thinkl you're such an amazing writer!!Author's Response: Miss Remus, thank you so much. You can't imagine how much your words mean to a writer! Thank you very much! wings Report Review
I like it a lot, especially Lily admitting she hurt him, in a way she did push him closer to the Dark Arts. I liked the conversations, especially Sev's and I loved this line: "You were a fallen angel, Severus, and you returned at last
~10/10~Author's Response: Hi Shanti, I'm glad you liked this! I have read your Broken Angel on the other site, but I couldn't leave a review, I have to register first. I will so wait for it. :) wings Report Review
SOO long! lol, very good.Author's Response: Thanks a LOT! wings Report Review
Beautiful : } loved it, well done!!! Rating = 10 : }Author's Response: Thanks Bec! I'm soooo glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing! wings Report Review
Oh my goodness, it was absolutely fabulous. I have to say it must have taken some very hard work to write such a masterpiece and let me tell you dear it worked! It absolutely worked, I am adding this to the list of my favorite stories as it deserves to be. :o I am utterly fascinated by it. Thumbs up.Author's Response: Wow! I think all writers are praying for such encouraging reviews. Yes, it was hard work and I had many doubts whether the readers would accept a story, where the characters were shown in a drastically psychological way. Altough it's longer than 5000 words, I felt it was still too short to describe everything that was hidden in these two characters. But then I realized that maybe less is really more. :) I think most writers face this problem sooner or later. So, thank you very much for your lovely review, you can't imagine how much it means to me. Thanks, wings Report Review
It was a pleasure for me to beta such a wonderful piece. :)
+Fav.Author's Response: Thanks! You helped me a lot, not only with grammar, but your positive opinion of my work! Wish everyone had a beta like you! wings Report Review
I did enjoy this story...I have to admit, more than I ever thought I would!
I love the way your story fills in so many unfilled characterization and plot gaps. I was never bored with the characters dialouge, I was actaully intrigued.
I can't find anything poor in this story, except for some of the formatting, but you've already mentioned in the beginning that you were aware of that.
So now I have to thank you for opening my eyes to a story I probably would not have read on my own.
I'm XCentaur on HPFF!Author's Response: Dear Centaur! I'm so glad you decided to read this story.
I love honest reviewers like you, it means so much to a writer to impress a reader, who isn'tm really interested in a story or a special ship.
In one word, dear Centaur, you made my day! Thanks! You're great!
wings Report Review
but i dont agree that snape hated harry. i think he just pretended to...
really well done
i like the different side of lily!Author's Response: Well, thanks Bron! I wasn't sure readers would like Lily that way, but I'm glad you liked her! Well, as for Snape... do you think Snape just played the role of the irritated teacher? I don'T think so, but who knows. Maybe he hated Harry, maybe he didn't. I think he hated Harry because he made Lily's choice of James final and unquestionable. He was the proof of Snape's defeat. I think. Well, anyway, thanks for your review! wings Report Review
Awww! That was really good!Author's Response: Thanks a lot for your review! wings Report Review
This was very well written and incredibly sad. The banner alone made me cry (I'm a Severus obsessive, even more so a Severus/Lily obsessive). I loved how they explained everything to each other and how, no matter what, Severus would never get what he wanted. Great job!
DiandraAuthor's Response: Dear Diandra!
I think the same way as you, that ship is the most moving part of the whole story. That'S why I wrote this story.
Thanks a lot for your review!
wings Report Review
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