hey you really need to work on grammar...lyk it though luv WW!!!

Author's Response: thank

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get the dark lord to do it.
well thats what i think. lol.

Author's Response: ok ill talk that into consideration

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your story is going good, but you are using "know" instead of "now" and its confusing.

Author's Response: i actually didn't do that the word program i used did that itself then i would switch it back and it would do that again. it really is annoying me

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While I think this story has a lot of potential, and that it's very interesting, it's also very difficult to read, due to spelling and grammatical errors. My suggestion would be to see if you can find a beta, or try to review each chapter one more time before posting.

I do want to read more, it looks like it's about to get even more interesting! Good luck, and update soon!

Author's Response: thank you

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i think the chapter should be longer. cause right when the real action starts, the chapter is over. more action needs to be put in one chapter.

again, the errors in the story take away from the full potential it has. it can get distracting when u are into the story and u have to stop and reread things to make sure ur understanding it right.

Author's Response: ill take that into consideration

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this story needs MAJOR editing!!! like no joke.

the story itself is really good. its keeping me interested which is good. keep going! just make sure u edit it first.

Author's Response: thank you

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aw how sad. her parents killed right before her eyes. that would suck.

Author's Response: i agree

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very very short but im still interested.

Author's Response: thank you

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Grammar. Seriously. Bad grammar=bad impression. 2/10

Author's Response: listen if you don't like my grammar then thats fine but i'm the only one that is doing this story and i dont have a beta nor to i have a good program to edit my own mistakes. im trying really hard so don't insult me. so if you have any suggestions then say it don't hurt my feelings my insulting my story.

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I love it !
This chapter i think i like thge best
Keep it up and i love this word muggleish

Erin_Malfoy

Author's Response: thank you.

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Ok,i saw that there were just a couple of spelling mistakes,like instead of her,you had here.

I think in the next couple og chapters you should have Draco tell her,but also get Hermione starting to trust Draco,i don't know,i just love Dramione

Author's Response: thank you for your ideas. ill take them into consideration.

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Its good,but just make sure you remember which tense your talking in...
Keep it up,I enjoying reading it

Author's Response: thank you

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It's goof
Keep it up

xxx

Erin Malfoy

Author's Response: thank you

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I've heard so many stories similar to this one and you need to work on your grammar. I'm not being mean but a good story needs to be spelled right.

Author's Response: thank you for your input. ill go through all my chapters and try to correct my mistakes. thank you again

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I like it!:)

Author's Response: Thank you

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Well i really like this story and i kinda think that you should have the "Dark Lord" do it, I think that it would make it more interesting and less cliche. Well thats what i think anyway.

Author's Response: I was thinking in the same thing. thanks for your input i do agree with u it would make more sense for the dark lord to do it. thank u

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oh poor Hermione and her parents:( I love it! I want to know who the voice is:D Keep write this amazing story, great work!

Author's Response: thank you and thanks for the support.

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I like it...but there's alot of grammical errors...and you don't portray enough emotion...

Try something like this.

Lucius smirked with satisfaction as he yanked her out of her nice warm bed and pulled her out of the room.

Hermione eyes widened with fear, what in the hell was going on?
Knowing no one would listen to her, she yelled, "Let go of me!"
Of ocurse no one answered her, just as she expected. But still she could try, she needed some control over the sitiuation. Wild fear coursed through her body. She knew this would all lead back to Voldemort, but why, and what did he want from her?

Hermione suddenly froze when she saw Wormtail and Goyle holding her parents captive. "No..." she whispered. "They didn't do anything...let them go!" Tears of anger and fear streamed down her face.

"Mum, Dad!" she called, but her cry was drowned out by the loud cackle from Lucius Malfoy.
_
Only suggestions... I don't mean to come off as mean, but there are many mistakes...I know I hate getting reveiws like these.

I really do like your story though, it could really go places. Good Luck!! XD




Author's Response: Thanks for the review i get what u mean, i have several ways i want to go with it. but i will take your review into considertion

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