Really good story! I am so glad someone finally did one on Luna. She is such a great character. Please keep writing about Harry and friends. I love all your stories so far!Author's Response: thank you soo much! Barely anyone reviews that story and I think its pretty good so thankyou for reviewing it and I'm glad you like my other stories as well ... I'll try to make them as enjoyable as possible ... keep reading Report Review
that was pleasant...10/10!Author's Response: Thankx I'm glad you enjoyed it :) and thankx for reviewing Report Review
I like this story, because Luna really is like... Luna.
But please do something about those big blanks, it's just, well... wow.Author's Response: srry but I did have the fixed copy up and it should be up for all to read already...hope u liked it and I hope everyone will like the newer version. thankx Report Review
You've done a good job of catching the essence of Luna. The story could have had a longer scene with Luna and Neville in the Department of Mysteries. Lots of HPFF authors have wonderful build-ups to scenes where folks declare their love but then seem to rush that scene. Basically a little better balance would be good.
I love the line about how Neville was the proud father of two
of her children. My question was - 'Okay, which two?' :-)
You had a few run on sentences that could have been cleaned up.
Looking forwardt more stories from youAuthor's Response: Thankx that was a very nice review and I'm glad you left me some advice I'll be sure to work on those things and fix them in this story and my future stories to come :) Thankx Report Review
Very nice ending.Author's Response: Thank-you I'm glad you enjoyed it.... and thankx for the review :) Report Review
This is a good emotional piece of writing and I enjoyed Luna's soul searching. It kind of ruined the flow of the piece though when you added your a/n right in the middle of it though. You should put your a/n at the beginning or end of your chapter, because as I was really getting immersed in your writing suddenly there's this a/n, then I had to try to get back in the moment again. The other thing that didn't fit in was when you briefly changed to Neville's POV, you should have just stuck to the same POV for the whole story. You also need to watch your punctuation when you're writing dialogue, in some places you haven't put the talking marks in the right places which makes it hard to read.
Sorry, I hope I don't sound too picky (I'm a teacher I can't help it). Overall I did really like this piece :)Author's Response: Thankx I'm ahppy you liked it even though, apparently it has soo many mistakes that I am willing to fix :) Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection