I love it when you change POVs! That is definitely not a bad thing! This is really good. Report Review
Very clever how you used all the different points of view and the thing about Vernon at the start with the drills was well funny! =-)Author's Response: heya Chloe! It's nice to see you :]
Thankyou, I thought from doing it from different POV would be different and I'm glad it worked. *smiles along with Chloe* Thanks for your awesome review, I'll be smiling all day! See you at PW! Report Review
Okay, first I would just like to say how hilarious this is. In a good way, don't worry. It's seriously funny.
*ahem* Okay, next. Great characterization. Vernon is all serious, James is all...immature in a good way, Lily is all sad at first about how Petunia is going to be mean to her, and Petunia at the end decides that she hates Lily and magic again.
One thing I want to point out.
"(credit for this paragraph goes to dracoslover1- thanks)"
Of course you should give credit, but put it in the author's note, not in the middle of the story. It's just kind of distracting.
And in the last piece of dialogue, did you mean to write 'gawked', not 'gawped'?
Overall, I like it. It's pretty good. I haven't read stories about Vernon finding out about Lily and magic and all before, so I find it unique. ^_^
Author's Response: hi! thanks for the really nice review- I'm going to go to school smiling which is good because i have double history :)
Also thankyou soo much for pointing out what i did well *happy dances* and I will definatley change it ASAP *another huge grin* Urrm i'm not sure whether i meant gawped or gawked so I'll go through it again. Have a cyber cookie and another thankyou Nevuna! ^_^ Report Review
3 layers of course. Anything less than that is a disgrace.
xDDD Vernon makes me giggle my head off.
Had no-one ever told him that he looked like a walrus, only fatter?
Okay. Well. I love your story, so so so so so so so sososossosos much. It's AWESOME. I could totally picture this happening.
It was cute how Petunia at first was willing to make up with Lily ... to bad that all went wrong xDD
GREAT JOB, I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!
-adds to favorites-
Have fun on your trip, Sticker Buddy!! xD -huggles-Author's Response: *tears up* bye sticker buddy! and were-slipper selling buddy!
gosh, thanks so much for the compliments- i'm blushing *giggle*
I love how you made the review into a three layer cake! very imaginative!
bye sticker buddy! laugh at me surfing! thanks sosososososososososoosososo much!!!!! *sends cookies* Report Review
I thought that it was really funny and I enjoyed the ending a lot! The character POV changes are hard to do in one-shots, simply because it ends up sounding a bit rushed. But even though they were slightly distracting to me, I still enjoyed this story. The humor was great!Author's Response: thanks a lot! *giggles* i really had fun writing it and i'm sorry that the changes were distracting but i just couldn't think of aanother way to do it.
i'm really pleased you enjoyed it and think the humour was good- thats what i was aiming for and i'm glad to see i achieved it! XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD Report Review
Okay I didn't like the way that you wrote the characters, they were rather bad. I hated the fact that you kept changing the p.o.v. several times. The whole story was rather cofussing. It needs a lot of wrote and I am sorry for being so harsh. Report Review
wow. this was amazing! it was absolutely hilarious! i didn't really mind the pov changes. at least you always told us who was telling the story, which was really the best thing you could do when needing to tell a story from the point of view of 5 different people :) one thing i did notice, though, was that at some point you introduced lily and petunia's father as jon potter, not evans. other than that, though, this is an excellent read :PAuthor's Response: thankyou thankyou thankyou! your review made me smile *even if i did have to ask you for a review :)*
yer, when i was typing it originally i kept putting potter instead of evans so i had to edit it all so i gues i just missed one oops :) wow, thanks for all the compliments i'm blushing! Report Review
i lurved it!! it was hilariously funny!! i was laughing the whole way through!! Author's Response: really? thanks! it was the longest one i've ever done and i'm quite proud of it! dracoslover1 is bettaing it at the moment so thanks to her!
thanks for the review kath, i appreaciate it and i'm glad it got you laughing! Report Review
Ahahahaha.. I'm glad you made it light.. I was totally in the mood for a good laugh... So, as this is the first entry for my challenge I like it...And it was wonderful. Go you...:) Lol.. Anyway, there were a few errors here and there. Nothing a beta can't change but I really think it was good of you to incorporate two challenges in one story... Congratulations on that!:)
-SkitsandBitsAuthor's Response: lol, i'm really glad that you thought it was wonderful. and it''s not so much go me as go you! for setting the challenge in the first place!
i didn't recognise you at first so thanks for putting your forum name at the bottom!
ok, i've been thinking of a betta so for a while so i guess i'll go and find one! thanks for the review! Report Review
There were a couple of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, but nothing too serious. It was a really funny story that you have here.Author's Response: aww, thankyou! i'll edit it when i get the chance :) i'm glad you liked it and i had fun writing it so thanks for setting the challenge :) Report Review
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