I just want to say that I think that this is an absolutely brillant, original and extremely well-written story. I loved the line "But gold doesn’t last forever, a lesson I’d already learned the hard way." I feel that it expresses the story so well- first with Sirius betraying their hopes and dreams and then she watches as the same happens with Regulus.
I feel that you've done a very good job of characterizing the Black family- you managed to make them human without destroying their canon personnas or making them extremely lovey-dovey. I especially love how you portrayed Walburga's visit to Sirius in Azkaban. I feel that it was very real that they didn't make up, that Sirius didn't forgive and forget. It felt very honest and real- a perfectly realistic, unhappy ending.
The only thing I can suggest to improve it would be double checking the spelling- I saw a few mistakes while reading ("heir", not "hair" and "up" not "us - there may be a few more that I'm forgeting).
All in all, I feel that this was a very well written one-shot. Loved it! Report Review
Wow. I've never read anything about Walburga, showing her in this light. To say the least, this was eye-opening. You've convinced me that she was good, now.
10 out of 10 for awesome writing. Report Review
Wow, this was really interesting. It's quite a unique interpretation of the Blacks' reaction to Sirius. I'm not entirely sure how realistic Walburga's sensitive, caring side is, but I don't believe it's out of the realm of possibility (after all, Sirius was known to exaggerate).
This is quite well written - perhaps a bit comma-happy at times, but overall I found it a smooth read. Oh, just one thing: "...the future Black hair," I assume you mean, 'the future Black heir'. That's it, though. Nicely done! :) Report Review
that was beautiful.
it truy was. Report Review
I think this is one of the best one-shots I have ever read. The emotion was so amazing. I found myself with that choked feeling in my throat by the end, and my favorite was definetly the Azkaban interaction. I always wondered if there really was another side to the Blacks, and I think you've found it. Sirius has always been one of my favorite characters and it broke my heart when he died. But I love your portrayal of him and I honestly think you have a future in writing. This was amazing! Report Review
Excellent story. Shows just how people do not really understand the consequences of their actions on their children.
Obviously, like many Death Eaters, they do not know that Lord Voldemort is Half-blood and raised as a Muggle. That would sure reduce his following. Report Review
All that I can say, is that was the most beautiful thing I have ever read. Report Review
This is so sad but really well written.
It's so different, I love it!
Keep up the great work! Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I'm really pleased you enjoyed the story :) ~Cat Report Review
hi! fantastic story. i loved it! there is so much feeling woven in, its amazing.
but i thought regulus was in slytherin, wasnt he? you said "Regulus, meanwhile, did everything right. Going to Hogwarts the year after Sirius, he was sorted into Gryffindor and instantly became friends with the right families" or am i simply reading it wrong? either way, you are a marvelous author.Author's Response: Thank you so much, Shelby! I'm really glad you liked the story, and thanks for the compliments. Yes, Regulus was in Slytherin - that mistake has been fixed, thanks for pointing it out :) ~Cat Report Review
To be honest typical criticism has failed me since I've finished this one-shot, because I think it's amazing. The way you portrayed the Black family and their mentality was well-rounded and really made me get into the story. You made me empathize with Walburga Black and her husband, a task I thought before reading this, would have been impossible. The hard work of you and Janet has payed off immensely. Great job. *favorites* Author's Response: Thank you so much for this lovely review! I'm so pleased you liked it this much, and I'm glad I made you empathize with Walburga and Orion, as that is what I set out to do. Thanks for reviewing! ~Cat Report Review
This was... heartwrenching. You have defintely painted another portrait of Walburga inside my head (not the one where she's screaming and cursing) and I can't do nothing but symphatize with her. What I really liked about this, is that she realized her mistakes and that you included, however subtly, her actions as a mother, like screaming at Sirius and not defending him from his father's wrath. Her faults stood out amidst her regrets, and you wrote all that extremely well.
I feel... incredibly sad for them all. now that I've finished this. Of what remained of them in the end; nothing. Orion's potrayal was perfect, his pride and hopes for his eldest son and his somewhat disappoinment for his youngest son. The relationship Walburga and he shared here was very formal, and it was believable in my eyes. I suppose their feelings faded in the end and that they both lost their affection for each other over the years. I loved how you showed the early years of Sirius and Regulus childhood, and how you wrote them as characters. I've come to love Regulus almost as much as Sirius (particularly after DH) and when he died in here, I saw him as a hero. Just sad that nobody knew for what he had died for. And when Walburga saw Sirius at the funeral! I just wanted to bawl.
I'm not one to read Ã¼ber-long one-shots, 'cause some tend to get boring at the end and have no red thread to keep the entire plot together. This was never boring. It never felt... choppy either, considering it was divided in so many parts. It flowed and I was spellbounded by her story the entire time. The emotions were, as said, heartwrenching and towards the end, I just felt shallow, yet happy, because she had realized her mistakes and she had let her son know it. Honestly... So, thank you for making me feel so many emotions all at once.
Despite it all, I did find some tiny typos (or so I believe):
...Regulus, meanwhile, did everything right. Going to Hogwarts the year after Sirius, he was sorted into Gryffindor and instantly became friends with the right families. ... - Is it supposed to say Slytherin?
...the look on Orion's face as he gazed down upon his son, the future Black hair. ... - And is it suppose to say Heir perhaps?
Well, I found those two. Just thought I ought to point them out. I know I hate having typos, hehe. As you may have noticed, I loved this. It was extremely well-written, and well thought out and I feel like I can do nothing else but praise you for this. Definitely going into my favourites. Well done Cat =)Author's Response: Wow. Thank you so much for this uber-wonderful review, Romina! I'm so glad you liked the story so much, and thank you for such a lovely review.
I'm especially glad I gave you another view of Walburga, because that's really what I set out to do - to make her human, not the person we see in the books.
The Black family has always been a rather sad one for me - an example of Voldemort's impact on even the families who are loyal to him. Thanks for your compliment on Orion - he was difficult to write, not over the top harsh but not really warm, either.
And I'm also really relieved you didn't get bored! With the length of this, I was worried that would be a potential factor, so I'm glad you were interested the whole time :)
Thanks for pointing out those typos! The first one has now been fixed, and I'll fix the second one soon. Thank you again for leaving such a great review, and I'm really glad you enjoyed the story so much :) ~Cat Report Review
I love it, it's fantastic. So sad though, especially because she realizes her mistakes, but can't fix them.
10/10Author's Response: Thank you so much for review, ginny321! I'm glad you enjoyed the story :) ~Cat Report Review
this is going on my favs. amazing writing. i loved it! *wipes away tear* 1000/10! superb job!
~Estrella Author's Response: Thank you so much Estrella - 1000/10? I'm flattered :) ~Cat Report Review
That was absolutely beautiful. I think I had tears in my eyes at the end. I love the relationship between Sirius and Regulus, and to see it told in such a way of parents, ripping their own children apart because of the world they lived in and their prejudices, just simply, wow. I loved the references to Regulus being second-best, and I would have liked to see more on how that affected him, if he was ever resentful later on in his life, and if that made him regret his decisions. I also loved how your made the years progress, and how Sirius didn't change in a short time. They were still family before he run away, albeit a broken and fighting one, but you made it so real in all the incidences and memories.
And Walburga, as a mother, her pain and regrets are so vivid through her words. It was amazing how you described that she turned nasty because of her fears and sorrow. It's very believable, considering how purebloods are brought up, and any signs of sadness is seen as weakness. Instead, they resort to hiding it with their haughty disdain and sneering. And that once scene in here was my absolute favorite. The one where Walburga saw Sirius at Regulus's funeral, and she went after him, only to find him gone. That was just so heartwrenching, and it captured how she had lost him once again. I'm glad they had a hurried chance to talk to each other at the end though. I have a feeling there's a lot more they wanted to say to each other, but too much had happened for them to actually say the thoughts out loud. But nevertheless, she told Sirius that she loved him, and the moment was so bittersweet. I've always loved bittersweet endings, so this was just gorgeous.
The way your write is amazing, the complicated weaving of words and sentences that all flow into one fluid piece of writing. I was captured by the very beginning, how you said that relationships were built on vast webs of lies to keep the peace. I think that captured the idea of what you're getting at here, and from then on, each bit of description and dialogue hit home. Phenomenal work; this is going in my favorites!
Author's Response: Wow, Raina, thank you so much for such a wonderful review :) Reviews like this mean an awful lot, especially when I haven't gotten a lot of feedback.
I'm glad you liked the Sirius/Regulus relationship - I'm sorry I didn't do more on Regulus. I kind of wanted to, but I also wanted Walburga's image of him to always be overshadowed by her image of his older brother, if that makes sense.
I'm also really pleased, and really flattered, that you liked my characterization of Walburga. She was such a hard character to capture - after all, she's not exactly presented in a flattering light in the books - so any compliment on her means a lot :) And the bit at the end was my favourite to write (although very difficult to do without overdoing it). I wanted Sirius to still walk away with that tainted image of his mother, but still have the knowledge that she loved him.
Thank you so much for this wonderful review - I'm really glad you enjoyed this story so much, as it's one I'm particularly proud of. Thanks again for taking the time to leave such a lovely review :) ~Cat Report Review
Wow. And that is all I have to say. You make us sympathize with the famous Mrs. Black. Give a motive behind her actions and make her a human, make her exist, make her real. Something that so many authors struggle with you do perfectly. I really must commend you, this was marvelous.
The only thing I would have wished to see is how she went from this, to the screaming, nasty, vile woman that we see in the portrait in 12 Grimmauld Place. Because this woman seems far too...real to become that spiteful thing hanging on the wall. Author's Response: Thank you so much for such a lovely review! This was really hard to write, seeing as Walburga's not a character I've ever particularly liked, so reviews like this mean a lot :)
I mentioned the portrait briefly at the end, but I definitely plan to go back and expand on that a bit in edits. I glazed over it a bit, which I shouldn't have, so I'll fix that up soon :) Thanks again for reviewing! ~Cat Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection