I loved this story, it wrenched my heart so tightly. I love it when people write about Snape in this sort of manner. I'm fond of him and his portrayal in the movies is simply amusing, a job well done. I can't say anything about grammar or spelling because I didn't pick up any problems. :)
I look forward to reading your other fics.
Toodles Report Review
Well that's an interesting take on it all, quite orriginal, and extremely well written.
Beyond that i'm not entirely sure what to make of it, I need to go to a quiet place and think for a while, but very good.
You are an extremely talented author, don't ever give it up, the world will be many words poorer if you do.
~*Jeni*~ Report Review
Well this was certaintly diffrent. Deep and sllightly angsty, without being the typical 'angsty Hermione fic' if that makes any sense :D I liked it, in paticular the ending was very moving. Report Review
Interesting point of view. I like the story! Report Review
This is really good! Report Review
:'( :'( :'( no whhy? -snifle-Author's Response: Why does anyone die? Why does anyone die senselessly? Report Review
Great story!! At first I thought this would be a romance because of the summary hints her wanting to prove herself and usually it ends with them together.so I was pleasantly surprised with the ending! Well done, nice twist on it! I was glad to see what Hermione would've done in the Shack that night. Author's Response: Hey, I'm first and foremost an SS/HG shipper, but there are these annoying things called "Rules" here that I have to follow.
And it's a shame he died so...unheroically. /me is sad at the death of Snape. Report Review
I liked it. It was a good length and very descriptive. The quote was used very well. :). Though the ending was sweet, it might have been more fitting if even he said something to snide her, maybe like "you could have done better" to agitate her. But it was well written. 9/10Author's Response: Aw come on, do you really think a DYING snape has it in him to be rude to someone who was trying to be nice to him? He's allowed a moment of niceness before he dies, isn't he? ;)
Thank you so much for your review! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
That was amazing! We've seen Harry's new found appreciation for Snape but this was a terrific angle on his relentless pressure on Hermione.
I don't give many 10s ...but this deserves it!Author's Response: Thank you so much! It's one of my more favorite pieces I've written, and I'm glad you enjoy it!
Thank you! Report Review
So I'm not sure what prompted me to come check out a story of yours, curiosity as to the writing of the person who keeps stealing my title perhaps? ;) But anyway, I'm glad I did, I really enjoyed this little one-shot.I have little to criticise, other than grammar points which I am not going to pick out and list here, perhaps a beta specialising in grammar would do the story good. The small amount of dialogue especially a couple of adjustments, grammar-wise.Aside from that, I think the story is wonderful. The idea behind it is what I especially love, I think. Snape has always been my favourite character and I enjoyed this take on the way he treated Hermione; it wasn't something I had read before, but I could believe it of his character and in the way you wrote it. It was from Hermione's POV sure, but I felt it was a good representation of Snape too, maybe even more so about him than it was about her. Right from the beginning you set the tone right, recalling to mind the attitude Snape showed her and her own response to it.Hermione is written very well too, her determination to be the best, to get that approval from everyone and not willing to just settle for having the other teachers' approval, needing all of them to recognise her talent and pushing herself. I like the mention of actual application of the things she learns, as the important part to it and what she needs to do. That she froze in a real life situation I think was well done and felt real; that she then went on anyway after her realisation was one of the bits I liked most. I think it was testament to the courage she does have in herI loved the last bit, but it made me sad too. It was brilliantly done, to have that moment be when he rewards her, when she understands the value he has placed in her. It was the choice he would have her make, I do believe that, but it was one I feel would drag at her always, and probably harden her for the making of it. Even though the other option was not truly viable and I think she made the right choice, I still wish it could've been the other way, or there was time for both, but it made for an effective end to the story for sure. So, very nicely written, I really enjoyed this story :) .Author's Response: Hehehe...if Space Invaders wasn't so mindlessly dull I'd eclipse you in that too. ;)
As for the grammar, yeah, my beta tends to overlook grammar from time to time-especially, it seems, commas, I should look into getting one that specializes in that sort of thing.
The take on Snape is a fairly common one among HG/SS shippers (of which I am one) but I wanted to do one with that sort of attitude with no other relationship between them, just her realizing that he's not entirely awful, and that by refusing to acknowledge everything she did as brilliant she was forced to become a better, more intelligent person for it.
And she never struck me as the type to rush into battle, head held high like Ron or Harry-so often she's portrayed as rushing right in with both of them when I think she'd be overwhelmed-if only for an instant.
I thought the end might have been a little over-the-top, but I'm glad you enjoyed it. Besides, Snape had to die, there was no way, with the events of the sixth book, that JK was going to let him live, so I figured I'd write him a good, proper, touching death.
Thank you so much for your long, amazing, review! But don't think you can bribe me away from beating you, no matter how awesome your review is! Report Review
the repetition sets the mood wonderfully
the sentences roll together so u can't stop reading
u don't state the obvious, giving room for the reader to imagine
let's see. hmm. when we come back to the present, all the sentences start with a pronoun. That's hard to help, and even adds to the mood, but seeing 'she' over and over at the beggining of sentences gets old.
*searching for obscure detail to criticize*
some of the periods would be better replaced by a , : or ;
It isn't necessary, though they are very good for continuing the same thought while remaining within the wonderful rules of english
AND :'s ;'s make u look smart
awesome one shot keep it up
Author's Response: Thank you. Yeah, i guess it is a little pronoun-heavy. As for the semicolons...i've always tried to avoid them for fear of breaking their rules of usage. I suppose i should break out of that habit, eh? thank you for your review! Report Review
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