Reading Reviews for Let It All Out
  
29 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Katy Exploding Snap

16th January 2013:
Please continue with updating ! I really like this story!
When Rora and Sirius kissed I couldnt keep the smile
off my face :#

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Review #2, by Cherigarcia Exploding Snap

13th June 2012:
You are BRILLIANT! I cannot wait for the next!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, I'm thrilled you like it! :))

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Review #3, by Jessie Exploding Snap

3rd June 2012:
Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseasepleaseplease finish this soon? At least another chapter? (: Pleaassse

Author's Response: Hahaha! I LIKE THE ENTHUSIASM!

And fret not, I have one in the works!

I'm just working on refining/adding to my current chapters before moving on right now..

But to stem your need for more, I recommend going through my older chapters since I've pretty much added a lot of new stuff to each one :)


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Review #4, by quinncy Exploding Snap

2nd June 2012:
please tell me there is more comeing-

Author's Response: Oh, there is! Don't you worry :)

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Review #5, by gryffindor_lover13 A Year To Remember

2nd June 2012:
I really like your story! Its awesome! I was also wondering if you could make me a banner for my story? I would really appreciate it and of course would give you full credit. My story is called All The Love In The World.

Author's Response: Thank you!
And actually I would really enjoy doing something for your story :) What kinds of images/colors/style/etc. did you have in mind?


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Review #6, by HappyMollyWeasley A Year To Remember

2nd June 2012:
Thank you for re-requesting! I am sorry that this review is so belated. I know it is ages since you asked me for this review...

I like the feeling I got from reading this chapter. I remember how it felt to be a teenager and to meet up with my friends after the summer holidays. New beginnings, wishes, hopes... You have captured that well!

It is a good thing that you fully include Peter in the story. He was their friend, just as much as any else. Sometimes he is skipped out in fanfiction, but if one doesn't include him from the beginning, you somehow reduce his betrayal.

Your chapter is easy to read, it captures my interest as a reader, and you write humourously. Over all a good start! :-)

Author's Response: No worries about the "late" review, I don't mind at all!
I totally agree about Peter, so I'm so glad you are noticing his inclusion! I am planning on giving him more one-on-one scenes with Rora to help flesh out his characterization and presence in the story too.
Thank you so much for the feedback! :)


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Review #7, by Rebecca Exploding Snap

1st June 2012:
loving dis chapter its brill

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

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Review #8, by academica Bonfires and Brie

28th May 2012:
Hey! I'm here with another requested review :)

I really enjoyed this chapter. I can already see this story deviating from the cliche a little bit. For one, they're drinking Butterbeer, not Firewhiskey, which to me seems much more believable. I also like that they had a bonfire down by the lake instead of a party in the common room, and that there was some concern about the staff breaking it up. I can see that you've written this with a thorough eye. I might have mentioned this before, but I also like that you've included the war. You would be surprised how many Marauder stories just totally throw it out the window, considering how important I think it is.

I did see a few technical mistakes sprinkled in there, but nothing too bad, just missing commas and misspelled words ('bree' should be 'brie', for one). There was one in particular I wanted to point out: in the paragraph where Sirius turns his nose up at the cheese platter, I had to re-read it a couple of times to figure out that he was speaking, just because of the parentheses. I would consider rephrasing that just to improve the clarity a bit.

I think the story is flowing well, and I don't see anything in this chapter that suggests that more is needed to make the story more solid or interesting. Also, I should mention that you've already got me rooting for your OC and feeling drawn in to her interactions with Sirius. As I'm sure you know, Sirius/OC stories are plentiful on the archive, and so you should be proud of yourself for writing an effective one. I hope you re-request, because I'm interested to see what will happen with them next.

I'd also just like to mention that I liked the dialogue here. I felt like James was a better balance, in terms of still being his 'Marauder' self but also not being quite as humor-driven as he might have been at an earlier time. I thought the 'Lily flower' banter was cute and it made me laugh. I also felt like the other characters were done well, and Peter is included, which is another lovely point.

Nice work! I hope this review is helpful!

-Amanda
Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: I'm so glad you are finding my OC believable/un-cliched because that is something I am trying so hard to make happen!

And thanks for the grammar/technical tips, I will definitely fix those. I never seem to be able to catch them all in proof-reading, sadly.

Thanks so much for the feedback, it is much appreciated! :)


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Review #9, by CloakAuror9 Bonfires and Brie

25th May 2012:
Hey there!

I like Aurora, she is un-cliched but I think I know where the story is going...well at least, about her and Sirius anyway. I also like how she's not that close with Lily, to be honest I'd almost had enough of those plots.

I like your style of writing, but sometimes you just put on a little bit of too much background information. Maybe its just me that's used to minimalist descriptions from most of the authors...but yeah I thought I'd just voice that out.

Another thing I noticed was that, Lily didn't have friends from what I take...or maybe I just didn't read clearly. In any case, don't make Lily a loner...because I don't think she'll be that hostile to anyone else but the Slytherins and the Marauders.

In any case, I like where the story is going so far though I don't know where it'll be centred around..young love, perhaps? I love your descriptions! So realistic and gah...so wonderful.

Ta,
CloakAuror9 xx
Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: I'll definitely work on the overload of background info...I struggle to find the balance between putting it in for character development and still keeping the right pacing. So thanks for the tip!

And good to know about Lily's loner-status...definitely will work to avoid that as well!

Thanks so much for the feedback again, it is much appreciated! :)


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Review #10, by academica A Year To Remember

25th May 2012:
Hey there! I'm here with your requested review :)

I think this is a very good start to the story. It's great that you've made sure Peter is part of the main plot (instead of being stuck over to the side as mere comic relief) and chosen different friends for your OC besides the infamous Lily Evans. I think for the most part your characterization fits in well with what we would expect from canon, and I do see Aurora as likable and a good fit for the story.

I do have to admit that a lot of the themes I'm seeing here are reminiscent of many of the Marauder-focused stories on the archive. I see things like complaining about school, planning pranks, and watching James and Lily fight a lot. I think if you want to make this more interesting, what you'll need to do is study up on the 'cliches' and do what you can to make your story original. For example, instead of making it so that Aurora gets along with all four Marauders, maybe make her focus in on Sirius (as suggested by your summary) and have there be some subtle tension between her and the other boys if it is ever perceived that she is trying to 'take him away'. I also got the sense that she's kind of close to James, and since he's supposed to start maturing around this time and attracting Lily's attention, Aurora might serve as a good confidant for him and a source of encouragement as he starts to grow up.

Going along with that, the flow here was a little slow and halting for me. One reason I suspect is that you spent a chunk of the chapter describing Aurora's background. I think it's definitely important to allow the reader to get to know a new character, but I always prefer it when authors 'show' us those details rather than outright 'telling' them to us. For example, instead of talking directly about her parentage, you could have a small scene where Aurora writes to her mother and has to explain some magical concepts to her that her father might not be able to describe in detail. That way the reader understands that Aurora's mother is a Muggle without having to be told that fact. The other reason is that I noticed some awkward phrasing throughout the piece, like you were taking the long way around to say something that could be stated more simply. I don't think this needs a lot of work in the technical department, but if you'd like to get a beta to help smooth out those areas, I think it would help out the overall flow of the piece.

This review probably sounds a little critique-heavy, but I mean what I said -- I don't think this is a bad start. There were a few places where I thought you included some nice imagery, like when you described the first years traveling across the lake. I also found the dialogue believable and interesting. I think if you can figure out how to really 'make this your own', it will turn out to be a great story.

Nice work! I hope this review is helpful :)

-Amanda
Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: I seriously appreciate this so much. It wasn't too critique-heavy at all, I actually like getting this kind of feedback with suggestions and examples of how to improve because it's the most helpful for me! Thank you so much! I will probably be back to re-request for the following chapters :)

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Review #11, by CloakAuror9 A Year To Remember

25th May 2012:
Alurha! Sorry if the review took me a bit long to give!

I thought the chapter was really well done. You gave us a lot of background information just in the first chapter and that gives the reader so much idea on whats truly happening.

I like Aurora so far, I think she's a great OC since she's not too close with Lily. And she seems a very 'out there' character.

The Marauders are very typical ones, not that its a bad thing, but they do have a few different quirks with them. I noticed that they are not all always smirking and they don't talk about Lily that much, so I'm so far enjoying them because as much as I ship James/Lily, I seriously don't think James talked about Lily every minute of his life. Another thing is that they look friendly from my point of view, which is a very good thing.

I think overall the story is very well-written and your first chapter was a really nice one. I do have two or three things that I'm looking out for on the next few chapters, because I really can't judge you that well based on the first chapter. That'd be unfair for you. In any case, I don't think you need to worry about much because the chapter seemed really great and it was very enjoyable. :)

Ta,
CloakAuror9 xx
Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Thank you, your feedback is seriously so appreciated! I definitely will be back to re-request and get your thoughts on my story as it progresses!
Thanks again! :)


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Review #12, by BoOkWoRm24 A Year To Remember

22nd May 2012:
Requested Review

Hi so this was a good introductory chapter. I liked that you kept it relatively light and at the same time you kept a dark undertone with Remus bringing up the murders.

I thought your characterization here was fine. Everyone seemed quite believable. Particularly I liked how I can tell the difference between the Marauders. James and Sirius didn't seem like one person, I could see slight variations in their personallities. As far as Rora goes, I think she was believable too. She didn't come out and say that she was part of the Marauders (I have isues with stories that do this) but she also seemed like she could fit in with them enough that I could see her with Sirus.

I also liked how you didn't make Rora best friends with Lily. It makes things more realistic that each marauder would end up with someone from a different group.

There were a few grammar/spelling errors that I would go back and fix. Also I noticed that Rems/Sirius/James all have bigger roles than Peter who has one or two lines. Its good that he's there because I've seen fics where he's excluded completely, but keep in mind that he isn't exactly a complete wall flower among the Marauders.

Anyway I thought this was a good start to your Marauder story. Feel free to re request :)

-BoOkWoRm24

Author's Response: Thank you, your feedback is much appreciated!

I am so relieved you found them believable. I am so weary of having characters that are unrealistic/Mary Sue/etc. so that's great to hear!

And yes, I've actually been trying to figure out ways to work Peter more into the story since I also have seen him get left out so many times!

Thanks again, I will definitely be re-requesting soon! :)


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Review #13, by Amy Roantree Exploding Snap

8th May 2012:
Hahaha!:D Really good chapter(: x
Please update soon.
Amy x

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed :)

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Review #14, by limwen Exploding Snap

7th May 2012:
Great chapter! Update soon! (THEY SNOGGED!!!)

Author's Response: Thanks so much!! :)

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Review #15, by Amy Roantree Awkward Situations

7th May 2012:
When is this book, going to be updated its been ages..

Author's Response: I just added a new chapter that has now been validated! :)

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Review #16, by gina Awkward Situations

21st April 2012:
Cant wait for the next chapter! But good lord, girl, just talk to the boy already. You are MAKING things awkward by ignoring him. Ugh. Lol.

Author's Response: I know, but that's the thing about Aurora; she's always been much more of a listener. Being forward is not exactly her strongsuit. But she's growing :)

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Review #17, by padfootforeveryoung Awkward Situations

20th April 2012:
I love this story so far, and I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :)

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Review #18, by Amy Roantree The Shrieking Shack

18th April 2012:
Aww, i thought sirius really liked her:(
Great chapter though, i couldnt lift my eyes from the page the whole time.

Author's Response: He doesn't know what he wants, unfortunately. But there are many chapters to be posted yet! Thanks so much for reviewing :)

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Review #19, by Youknowpoo The Shrieking Shack

15th April 2012:
Oooh merlins saggy left...loving this. Sirius, the bastard! He'd better have a very, very good excuse! Aurora is the best canon I've come across, 'siriusly' good writing!argh I want more James and lily though, I love them so much ! Ah and marigold...marigold, marigold,marigold- what can I say? Definitely very realistic, know a few girls like that! I loved the scene with the fit professor and am interested in where that's going...another quirrell methinks? Or is he going to make a move on aurora?...intriguing much? Anyway, keep going! very big fan of this!

Author's Response: Hahah I am thrilled you are enjoying it!! I'm so glad you like Aurora's character. And don't worry, there definitely will be more James & Lily action ahead! :) Thanks so much for all the feedback, I have new chapters coming soon!

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Review #20, by PadfootsBaby The Shrieking Shack

14th April 2012:
Amazing! Please write more :D

Author's Response: Thank you! ^-^ I am writing more as we speak so look for it soon :)

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Review #21, by ginerva_molly_weasley A Year To Remember

12th April 2012:
Nice first chapter.

It introduces us to the characters and really sets the scene as they're obviously on their first day back in the second year so we can only imagine what's going to happen within this story!

I can see that you are going to have a very solid characterisation for Rora and I hope that she becomes a very prominant OC and I can actually believe she was part of the marauders. So far I think you're doing a good job of making her seem very integrated with the crowd and as she's friends with Lily then you know this will be quite a good plot line!

I love how you also haven't forgotten Peter!" That shows real skill as I have seen so many marauder stories where he has simply just been cut out! And I also liked the way you reminded us that not everything was safe with the article from the newspaper!

A good first chapter

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the feedback, I really appreciate it! I'm glad you've found it to be a solid first chapter. It's really important for me to have believable characters so the fact that you found them so is encouraging :)

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Review #22, by WeepingWillows Bonfires and Brie

11th April 2012:
First off I just love your original character's name 'Aurora' reminds me of Sleeping Beauty which is one of my fairytales. I loved how everyone was teasing Lily and James and Sirius' comment about how they're soulmates.

Poor Rora, I felt bad for when they were teasing her about her moaning in her sleep. :/ Even though it's such a typical thing for a group of teenagers to tease someone about.

I loved the Gryffindor Welcome Back Bonfire idea! :) I also like Rora's and Sirius' interaction at the end.

Great plot so far! Grammar and descriptions is great and I'm enjoying this :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you spotted that, that's where I got her name from! I thought it was beautiful and unique and very "wizard-y" sounding if that makes sense?
And yes, I try to include teasing/embarrassment because I feel like at times a lot of people neglect that side of teenager life in fics. Even between friends, it happens!

Thank you so so much for the feedback, it means a lot :)


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Review #23, by WeepingWillows A Year To Remember

11th April 2012:
Hi! So this is WeepingWillows here with your review. I just wanted to say that so far you got a great start! The plot flow seems steady and I do enjoy that you went in depth about the characters and also your original character which really helped give the reader some history about the character.

Grammar wise I did catch one thing but other then this your descriptions were perfect!

ďI canít believe itís our last year,["] I whisper, still lost in the past.

Just one little error. Good story so far!

Author's Response: I'm thrilled you're liking it so far!! My main concern is having the characters and story be believable and interesting enough to want to follow so hopefully you find that holds true :)
And I'm glad you liked the character-background. I was struggling with how much to put in, because I didn't want to overload the reader with too much info at once.
And thanks for the grammar tip! Don't be afraid to point those out, I always appreciate them haha!
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review!:)


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Review #24, by sawyer The Shrieking Shack

18th March 2012:
Wow! This story is simply amazing. Please update soon.

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm so thrilled you are enjoying it! A new chapter is coming *very* soon :) xoxo

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Review #25, by Padfoot89 The Marauders' Reveal

6th August 2011:
A few spelling errors, but nothing to fuss over. I got all giddy when I finally saw this fantastic story updated! I'm still rather confused as to why not many people have bothered to review it though.. :( Well, maybe i'll just have to spread the word when I can! Please do update soon! ;)

Author's Response: Oh thank you, I will definitely proof read it! And I also hope it starts to catch more people's eyes, I do appreciate feedback, as we all do :) Thank you for reviewing! :)

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