This story was so sad, it made me cry. It was really, really good, and brought up something that hasn't really been touched upon.
It was really good: 10/10. Report Review
Very powerful stuff. I like this rendition of the Crouch family. Haven't seen anyone use these HP characters yet. Well done, really. Report Review
This was a lovely oneshot. It was written so that the emotion was captured well, and that characterization was spot on. The protrayal of Barty Sr. was perfect, especially that last line. And the mother's choice was quite understandable. It actually seemed like this would have happened. It was a little short, but it didn't really need any added length, because it was fine just the way it was.
My apologies that this isn't a longer and more detailed post, because really there's nothing I can add, or any CC to give. This was a good story, and you did a wonderful job.Author's Response: Thanks for the review. The Crouch family relationship is intriguing - so I just wanted to explore it :) Glad you liked it. :) Report Review
Brilliant! Yet again you wrote an amazing story. There were a few places that I think you left out a word because I had to re-read those sentences a few times, but it might just be me. ;) I loved the epilogue part and how it showed that Barty Jr. was beyond repair and that his mother's wish was nothing more than a dream. Very nice last line. Loved it! Author's Response: Thank you. I'll go try to reread and correct that. Appreciate your revew Report Review
sorry this took so long, but ive finally gotten to it and its great!!
your descriptions in here were superb. The way you describe Barty (father)`s pleading to his wife not to do this is just so well done. And her determination, her love for her son so well portrayed.
and the epilogue i enjoyed a lot as well. There was a lot of emotion there.
great job with this nutty!! i love it!!
padAuthor's Response: Thanks Drew. Appreciate the review and knowing that you like the descriptions. Thanks again :) Report Review
Oh… how unbearably sad. I'm so used to seeing stories that immortalize the love Lily had for Harry and how she sacrificed herself for him, but this is every bit as beautiful and heartbreaking. You took three minor characters and made them real, just like you did with the kelpies! The contrast of the gloomy icy prison and Barty Jr. with the fiery strength of a mother who loves her son was very well done. She tries so hard to reach out to him one last time yet he pushes her away flatly. His only goal is to return to his master, and sadly, she didn't recognize it. I love how you preserved her hope and faith in her son, making her blind to any of his obvious flaws and darkness. Only a mother would be able to make such a big sacrifice, yet sadly, she doesn't know what she's unleashing on the world. It's terrible how the consequences (Voldemort's return) stem from such a loving final gesture.
Barth Crouch Sr.'s character was well portrayed as well! I love how he hesitates at her request of having him watch over their son. Instead, he equivocates and says that "he'll keep him out of trouble". That's a great tie into the canon fourth book, as we see him fail. He saw what she didn't, and in order to grant her wish but at the same time protect their son, he forces himself to accept the burden. I’m glad you made him have that spark of humanity, especially in the epilogue where he forces himself to return to life and carry the burden silently. And towards the end, where the last bit of her love was taken away by the dementors. Ugh, although heartwrenching, I have to say that was my favorite part. It would have been too good to be true to say that her love kept her going happy until the end. Instead, it's so bittersweet with the way you described her being pulled down by a mere empty knowledge that she did something for a son for whom she had no capacity to love anymore.
Tiny error: at the end, "she never truly did understood her son" - it should be understand. You asked which parts needed more description, and it took me a while to really come up with an answer, because the thing I really love about your writing is how much you're able to speak volumes while using concise, to the point phrases. The length of a fic does not matter at all, especially not word counts; don't let anyone tell you that. Some of the best one-shots I've seen use powerful short phrases, and they jump out at me in your writing too. I'd hate to have flowery descriptions change this piece, especially since the atmosphere of the whole thing is rather frigid with only an ember of warmth burning from the mother. But if you're really considering more descriptions, fleshing out the mother more and adding more of her thoughts/emotions or involuntary gestures like a slight shiver or trembling fingers could make a contrast to the curt movement and expressions of the two men as well as the lifelessness of the prison itself. But really, think about what your style is, and if you're satisfied with the way this turned out, then nothing should make you change it. Sometimes, having less words speaks more because it allows the reader to fill in any gaps with their own interpretations and feelings. :) Author's Response: Thank you for that encouraging review and also that great advice. You really know how to boost someone's ego and confidence. Report Review
Wow. That is all I can say. It was so beautifully written and it captured the emotions perfectly. I love the way you portray the Crouches. It's simply lovely, especially since they're minor characters we don't see a lot of.
-CarrieAuthor's Response: Thank you appreciate your reviewing this piece. The Crouches are a pretty tragic family when I think about it. Report Review
(I’m writing while I’m reading, so review is strange a bit, sorry.)
I like to read stories about OC characters that are in HP, it’s always interesting. I understood that it’ll be about Barty when I read first sentences, maybe I have good intuition, but I did.
I read it all without writing (*happy dance*) and I like it. Maybe it’s not very amazing and interesting because we all know how Barty “escaped” from Azkaban, but you made that story personal, dark and emotional. It’s hard to write about characters who we don’t know too well, I must say that you did it very well. I can’t say anything bad about your grammar (maybe because I don’t know English too well) and writing style. They all is good created characters, I don’t like Barty J. or Barty Senior but they are only characters, someone need to write about bad-ones too. 8/10 because of originality and good writing style (keep writing, darling), I’m just not too interested about Crouch family.
Author's Response: Thanks you for reading and reviewing despite not really liking the Crouches. I'm glad you like my writing style. And you must have a pretty good intuition to know immediately that its about Barty from the first sentence alone. I appreciate your taking the time to review this. :) Report Review
I enjoyed reading this story as it's always good to read fanfics about overlooked characters. I think you handled the emotional side of it very well and captured the characters beautifully. You managed to show the feelings of all three in a short one-shot.
I thought the descriptions were minimal but effective and I personally thought it was a perfect length. There was one sentence that bugged me a bit, though -
It was the coldest time of the year, warmth permeated everywhere - except for one place.
I do know what you mean here but it is a bit odd to first say that it's cold and then say that it's warm without really explaining it. Just a thought.
Anyway, it was a really good story with a melancholy about it that I enjoyed and I particularly liked the epilogue.
Author's Response: Thanks you. I'll go and correct that one. I appreciate your review that you think that the length isn't that bad :).
I always did felt sorry for Barty's father in GOF. Poor sorry man .... Report Review
Okay. This is very short, and it would have been nice if it had been longer. I think that overall however you did a very noce job, the characters were in check, and I loved the fact that you chose to write about different characters rather than the ones that we always read about. I think that the spelling was also in check. Nicely done. Author's Response: Thanks Sam. I know what you mean ... the emphasis on putting more details had to be drilled into my head sometimes *L* Writing the details an on and off thing for me... :) Guess Bella noticed that too *lol*
Appreciate the review :) Report Review
*sniff* I can feel my eyes welling!
That was beautiful, Nutty!
Just one quick note - you had a typo and "immersed" became "immensed" in the fourth paragraph from the bottom.
-GinAuthor's Response: Thank you for that correction. I totally missed that one. Thanks for that review :) Report Review
This was a really well written one-shot. I always wondered about Mrs. Crouch. There's really nothing about her in the books and how she gave her life for her son. I loved all your characterizations. Barty Crouch Sr. is great, he tries to convince his wife to not do it and doesn't speak to his son in Azkaban. And Mrs. Crouch... well, only a mother would do that for him.
Great job on this story. The beginning brings the reader into the story while the ending wraps everything up.Author's Response: Thank You. Happy that you took the time to read and review and that you think the characterizations are believable. :) Report Review
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