good job...i liked the canonized version better...keep on writing Report Review
lovely piece dear. ya know how many bellatrix/sirius romance fics there are ? hundreds . you'd think by now people should 've realized that is I -N-C-E-S-T.i'm pleased you stuck to rowlings family tree. Report Review
Is it AU because Bella was at Hogwarts from 1962 -1969 whereas Sirius didn't get there until 1971..
Apart from this confusion this is a lovely, well written piece. I can see where you're coming fromt hat it seems a little abrupt, but perhaps that is part of it's charm? There isn't too much further that you could go without it becoming more indepth.
Thanks for this read, I've really enjoyed it. XX Report Review
Even though this was short it captured the essence of Bellatrix character really well. I spotted one or two typos:
-Bellatrix then reached up and pulled her hair out of her face with one as she turned - I'm sure you meant to add hand in between with and one.
-inspect the Sorting Hat fort eh first time- I'm guessing you meant for the first time.
I understand what you mean about it feeling unfinished to you, but you definately got across the point of the story and as I said you did a great job with Bella. It would of course be your own decision if you decided to edit it, but I think it's just fine the way that it is! Report Review
Beautifully written, I wonder what Sirius was thinking? Report Review
Very good. I think that you potrayed Bellatrix's character. It was dark and it just showed how she could have saved her self. But her family had installed the black values in her.
brill! 10/10 Report Review
I can totally imagine Bellatrix being disgusted by the Hat, thinking that it's beneath her to put that dirty, tattered thing on her head - it's so her, even as an eleven year old. And it's cool that its voice filled her with fears and doubts, heehee :p Also I loved the Hat's description of her, it couldn't be more true. Oh, and this line made me shiver: 'You could have been great, but since you wish to follow in the footsteps of those that have come before you'. Really makes me wonder what could've been if she was a bit different... but I guess then she wouldn't be Bella we all know and love :) (or love to hate, in some cases :p) And the last paragraph was brilliant, no actually - the whole thing was brilliant. Awesome fic. 10/10, and adding it to my favs :)Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed this one. I had quite a bit of fun making Bella as evil as she is.
I plan to write a companion story to this one, one that is a little more in canon than this one, but revolving around Bella's sorting just the same. You can keep an eye out for it by visiting my author's page for updates on my news banner. - Jenn Report Review
Bellatrix was born at least seven years before Sirius. She would have already graduated Hogwarts when he came, though I suppose you alrrady knew that since you said that this story is AU. Anyway, good job, 10/10.
P.S. Why haven't you updated Second Chance yet? I've been waiting.Author's Response: Yep, she is, in canon, older than Sirius. I've been thinking of rewriting, or rather writing an alternate version, that sticks to canon facts - but haven't wanted to disrupt the other stories I'm working on to muddle through it right now.
That aside, I'm glad you enjoyed the fic and do apologize for taking so long on the other story - was having very little free time due to the time of year. As always, thanks for the review! - Jenn Report Review
That was great.. she was an evil little b***h even as a child.. all is how it should be :)
~Moondanser~Author's Response: lol, I can't really see Bella as being anything other than evil. She has far too many similarities to Riddle in that way I think, for he was a right nasty little bugger at this age as well. Thanks again for yet another wonderful review! - Jenn Report Review
Hmm... Not what I was expecting.. Far from it. And was Bella always that mean? Hm...
But it's not that I don't like it, I loved it, just... different.
-SnowAuthor's Response: I don't know that Bella was always that mean, but due to her adult character's behavior, I can easily imagine her as being that mean as a child. Thanks for the review! - Jenn Report Review
I think it was just right that it was this short. :) After all, nobody really wears the Sorting Hat for a long time. Excellent job! I love the pieces you've added about Sirius, and the Hat was in character.Author's Response: Thank you so much for the reviews! I'm very glad that you enjoyed this story and thought that the hat was in character. I find the Hat hard to write at times because you never really know what it's thinking. lol - Jenn Report Review
I think you really managed to capture Bella's personality. It was very good, if a little short. =)Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I do love hearing what my readers think. I am sorry it was a bit short, but it was a bit difficult to stretch out. - Jenn Report Review
Wow, really really great work! You wrote young Bellatrix very well! You're a fantastic author!Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review and the praise! This story is one of my recent favorites as it came out much better then I had hoped it would! Hope you'll read some of my other works and find them just as entertaining! - Jenn Report Review
Oooo liked it alot :)Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed my story! - Jenn Report Review
Whoa that was cool. I thought Bellatrix spoke like she was older then eleven but it was still cute imagining a tiny Bellatrix Black!Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review and for letting me know that you enjoyed the story! And yes, I knew Bella sounded older when I wrote her, but I didn't want to make her too girly or childish - mainly because I can't see her as a frivolous child, but that's just me! Thanks again for the review! - Jenn Report Review
Good job i liked it and the graphics are pretty as well! :P there were a couple spelling mistakes but other then that great 9/10Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed the story and thank you for the compliments on the graphics! It was a new style for me and I was quite proud of how they turned out. I should have had my beta read and point out my mistakes, but I was impatient to post. I'll try to get the mistakes cleared up soon though!
Thanks again for offering up such a cool challenge! And for the review! - Jenn Report Review
hmm. welll that was quite interesting, I like how you caught the BLack's, very well ^_^Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! - Jenn Report Review
very unique!Author's Response: Thank you. - Jenn Report Review
Like you said, it was short, but who cares?
That was AMAZING!
You nailed down Bellatrix so well... and I know that Sirius technically was younger than Bellatrix, but you did well adding him in like that. Who else would have made her think again? I really did love this story. I wanted to do Sirius Black for the challenge but it had already been taken *sobbles*.. ah well. You did brilliantly on this one!
xAuthor's Response: You know... I hadn't really realized that Sirius was so much younger then Bellatrix until you mentioned it and then I had to go look up the info on the Lexicon. I guess it's a bit AU then. lol. I really glad you enjoyed the story and I appreciated the review! - Jenn Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection