Reading Reviews for Overcoming Reality
  
40 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LilyFire Waking Up

31st July 2011:
Again, not really any complaints to be had. It's very belivable and I love the reactions you have for the characters. Pretty much the same as last time :P
~Lily

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Review #2, by Roots in Water Murphy's Law

9th July 2011:
Hey, it's Roots in Water here with your review.

First, let me just say that the start of this story immediately caught my attention- my thoughts were something along the lines of "Why are they in a fire?" and "What's going on?"- and kept it.

There's a nice flow to the story so far and I love your description. Ginny isn't too depressed or sad- she's coping with devastating news, and I like the way you express her emotions ("anger bubbling inside her stomach"- such a mental image!).

The plot, from what I could determine in three chapters, will probably be heading towards Ginny's journey of healing herself, both physically and emotionally- am I right? The one thing I'd be careful with is to not through too much stuff at Ginny at one time. She already has a lot on her plate, and if you want to add any more plot twists like the one you wrote in this chapter, I'd wait until she was healing (I know, cruel).

As well, I got the feeling that Voldemort is still alive. What are you going to do in that regard? After all, the prophecy states that one of them has to die- and Harry has died. Are you going to ignore the war and focus more on Ginny's recovery? The war can't just be completely ignored- it's the reason Ginny's injured and Harry, Ron and Hermione are dead.

On a different note, I definitely did not see the Fenrir Greyback twist coming and I hope that Ginny isn't that affected. Gah!

Anyways, as for the grammer, I didn't spot any mistakes or things I'd like to correct. Everything flowed smoothly.

As well, I couldn't tell, aside from the Author's Note at the bottom of each chapter, that there had been large gaps inbetween the writing of each chapter. I felt that it flowed quite smoothly, especially since the last two chapters have started Ginny-centric.

I enjoyed reading this- thanks for requesting a review!

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Review #3, by Slytherin_Ravenclaw_chick Murphy's Law

7th July 2011:
SlytherinRavenclawChick's Review:

Again, this was a very straightforward, yet emotional and detailed chapter. Your writing is steady and it flows nicely. All-in-all a great story, it seems to have a lot of potential and looks like it will be really good!

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Review #4, by Slytherin_Ravenclaw_chick Waking Up

7th July 2011:
SlytherinRavenclawChick's review:

Again, this was a strong chapter and it did seem very realistic. I liked the style of writing, and the consistency. The emotions are real and believable. I like this chapter just as much as the first. 10/10

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Review #5, by Slytherin_Ravenclaw_chick Flames

7th July 2011:
SlytherinRavenclawChick's Review:

Wow, what an intense chapter. You captured the emotions and the reality of the situation, without making it seemed forced. The flow is good and the writing in general was fantastic. It is a really strong first chapter. 10/10

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Review #6, by wit_beyond_measure3 Murphy's Law

7th July 2011:
Hello there! phoenixflames19 from the forums here with your review.

This chapter seems to mesh well with the others, but I'm a little confused as to exactly what happened. That's probably on purpose, as Ginny is very confused right now, but it could do with a little bit of clearing up.

Also, when did she get bitten by Fenrir? That confused me very much. I thought that Voldemort and Harry were the only others in the fire.

Other than that, your writing seems to flow very well. I like it. Great job!

wbm/pf

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Review #7, by LilyFire Flames

5th July 2011:
I like the beginning, it makes you want to know exactly what's going on. What happens now that Harry died? Who picked up Ginny? What's going to happen next? You've got a wonderful start :)
~Lily

Author's Response: Glad to hear it, thank you so much! And we shall find out all those answers in upcoming chapter! ^_^

Thanks!


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Review #8, by charlottetrips Murphy's Law

5th July 2011:
(Running Review remember? So sometimes criticism comes first)

“[deaths] caress licking at exposed flesh” – [death’s]

Whew. Now that that is out of the way. Wowee!! The imagery here is so in your face! You can’t help but see what the girl is dreaming of and there isn’t a way of avoiding it.

Oh yay, her voice is back! Oh no, she’s a werewolf! How fun is that?!? Brilliant!!

I like how you’re really delving into the survivor’s guilt and anger that goes with being the only one who survived, the responsibility you know you have but also the blame you want to hand out.

This was another beautifully written chapter. You may have not been to fanfiction in a few years but you definitely have the touch! I am so interested in seeing where you take this girl’s feelings in dealing with werewolf-ism and being the last of her close friends to survive.

x Char

Author's Response: Noted that, thanks! I'm so awful when it comes to that. XD

Ah, words that are music to my ears, thank you so much! And technically no one knows if she is yet...and if I'm being perfectly honest, neither do I! I kind of don't plot, I just write and see where it takes me. ^^

Glad you liked it! I hope it came across realistic, and you will definitely see more of it in upcoming chapters.

Ah, more music to my ears! THANK YOU! It really helps me to get back into the swing of things and have some mue when I read feedback. Glad you're interested, I'll have to invade your review thread again when the fourth chapter is up!

Thank you, your reviews have been so lovely and helpful! =D
-Caiti


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Review #9, by charlottetrips Waking Up

5th July 2011:
I really like the dream portion here. It seems very realistic and is written quite well.

Ginny’s confusion and inability to piece the simplest things together is well done and very believable. I can feel the inner struggle that she is going through and the stream of thoughts just help put me there close with her.

This second chapter is (now don’t be offended!) written much better than your first. Like I can see a very distinct difference between the two. Did you not rewrite the first chapter and just this second one? The descriptive phrases here speak so clearly to me and seem more relevant to Gin than the previous chapter, that’s all.

Merlin, how painful must it be to not be able to give voice to your grief and sorrow? Sometimes I feel better just being able to rage and hear myself, like it reminds me that I’m still here and I’m real, but what comfort does Ginny have? None it would seem.

It definitely seems realistic (which I think I was trying to say above). I can’t believe you killed everyone! It’s so…bold!

Author's Response: Awesome, thank you! Such lovely words to read, makes it easier for me to want to write more of it! ^^

And oh not offended in the slightest, so glad to hear it! Yeah, I re-wrote the second and not the first, probably a good year or so apart from each other. Glad they do! Might have to go back and re-write the first, since my style has changed and [i think, especially from reading that] improved a bit!

And yeah, she has none atm, bwuahahaha >=D

Thanks, it's such a relief to hear that, as I was a tad worried! And yus! =D Figure bold tries lead to goo things!

Thanks loads!
-Caiti


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Review #10, by charlottetrips Flames

5th July 2011:
Char from the Forums here with your review! I’m already interested from the banner and the summary! So this is a good sign :) I do a running review so I’ll comment on the first thing I come across which sometimes is constructive criticism so don’t take it personally.

(In the first line) “[cackling] embers” = [crackling]

I really like how you didn’t shy away from descriptions. I can see that you took care to let us in on exactly what Gin was feeling, giving the reader the same nauseous feeling and so on.

“She didn't [] how she had regained her consciousness,” = [know] missing

I don’t think she would be able to touch Harry’s burnt face without hurting him immensely you know? I mean, it just got completely torn apart…

“She could [] nothing more [then] stare,” = [do] missing and [then] should be [than] the comparative phrase

You have written quite a powerful beginning here! What a way to start off! Killing Harry! I think this is one of the few stories so far that I’ve read that have done this. Where oh where are you going to take this?

Author's Response: Hurray, I'm glad just that catches your interests, its grand to hear! ^^ And alrighty!

Ah thank you SO, SO much! I've made a note of all these and shall edit in the morning! His face wise..I can see what you mean, I wrote this ages ago so I'll go back through and change that up a bit. Thanks for pointing it out!

Yay, it really makes my day to read that! And hopefully taking it some where fantastic, we shall see! ;D

-Caiti


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Review #11, by BellaFan202 Flames

30th June 2011:
Hello! Here with your requested review. :) Sorry it took so long. I was busy with some podcast stuff. :P

And oh. my. god. That was intense. And sad. And I'm at a loss for words. It was so good, but *man* it was sad. I loved it. I don't generally read AU fics, but this is really good.

One question though: who was the guy that took Ginny? Or are you going to say in the next chapter?

10/10
~BellaFan202~
(LiveLaughLoveHarryPotter on the forums)

P.S. Feel free to come back and rerequest the next chapters! :)

Author's Response: haha, wasn't long at all! You're fast!

Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it! And yes, that's something that will come up in the next chapter or so. ^_^

Thanks! And I'll definitely come back to re-request the next two!
-Caiti


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Review #12, by Giola Flames

30th June 2011:
Hi Cappie, Giola here with your requested review :)

This chapter is really good! You have a good grasp of description, both emotional description and physical. I could feel Ginny's pain, it really makes your readers engage with the story. There were a few grammar issues,

She moaned in agony as her chest heaved, breathing in the blackened smoke and having a coughing fit. - this sentence is a little funny, there's nothing technically wrong, but the last five words don't seem to fit, perhaps change it to something like 'She moaned in agony as her chest heaved. She breathed in the blackened smoke, overcome by a sudden coughing fit.' That's not brilliant, but something along those lines maybe.

Her hand was tightened around the handle of her wand, causing its imprint to embed itself in her palm. - get rid of the 'was' after her hand. You don't really need it.

Other than that, spelling/grammar was good. As for the plot, I'm intrigued by this battle, obviously we will see more of the aftermath. I would say you should definitely continue writing ;) You have a very good basis here, I will read on (and review) soon!

Overall, good job! Well written and engaging.

-Julia

Author's Response: Thank you for your lovely words, they totally made my day! And thanks for pointing out the grammar issues - I just went through and fixed those so hopefully all should be good now! ^^

I shall definitely continue writing, and very glad it intrigued you! thanks, and looking forward to more reviews from you! =D

-Caiti


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Review #13, by MileyMalfoy Waking Up

25th June 2011:
Aw poor Ginny. I like the fact that you had her subconscious try to fill things in and showed that at the beginning.
My favourite line was "A ridiculous part of her mind wondered if maybe this was hell, her punishment for Merlin knew what." I thought that was funny because whenever I've visited somebody in ICU I've always thought that those beeping machines are my own personal form of hell :D
There were some lines that stood out to me as having some editing needed:
Firstly, it seemed like a word was missing here: "Yet only thought was prominent in her mind".
And then this part just sounded slightly clumsy to me: "part of her mind reminded herself she had watched him die."
Other than that I thought that it was brilliant. A good representation of what would happen when somebody has to be told.
I like the fact that she has lost her voice for the moment if only because it means she can't go on a rant when she realizes that she was the only one that survived. A question on what that means though... You only stated that Harry had died. Were Ron and Hermione there as well? And if so what happened to them? I don't know if the person would tell her what had happened to the others but I just figured I'd ask.
I think that this story is definitely worth continuing.
Hope this helps!
- MileyMalfoy

Author's Response: I'll go through and fix those, thanks for pointing 'em out Megs! And thanks, yeah they both were there as well. =P I guess I should have actually said that, so I'll have to throw it in at some point. ^^

Definitely shall continue it! ;) thanks darl!
-Caiti


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Review #14, by MileyMalfoy Flames

25th June 2011:
Caiti!
This chapter was heart breaking. The fact that Ginny was injured and had still managed to find Harry and have a last conversation with him made me almost want to cry. Most especially when you described Harry's injuries.
I've never been one to really like the Harry/Ginny pairing but the interaction between the two of them before he died was just precious.
I liked that you kept the fact that Ginny was injured when she was moving towards Harry in the story and so had it hurting her to get there. And that the Aurors were there - if only tragically too late to save Harry.
I think that this story has a lot of potential. The grammar overall is good, I wasn't nitpicking completely though, and there is a lot of description. Almost too much for me when thinking about charred flesh ;p
I really like it. *skips off to read on*
- MileyMalfoy

Author's Response: You're words are so lovely to read, thanks Megs! And yeah that might be a bit too much but I think I'll leave it, as I think it gives a good effect =P

Glad you like it!
-Caiti


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Review #15, by moonysmistress Waking Up

22nd December 2008:
Wow, i really like where it's going so far. Very good. Deffinitely adding it to my favourites. Update soon!

Author's Response: Awesome, thank you! I will try my best to!

-Caiti


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Review #16, by Jessy_ann_Black Flames

17th August 2007:
I really liked this, though it bought a tear to my eye. Awh Harry died! Anyways good job and onto the next chapter.

Author's Response: Awh! Awesome! Thank you so much!!

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Review #17, by Raina Flames

8th August 2007:
First of all, I just have to warn you that I hate Harry/Ginny fics. This one did surprise me though. It's been a long time since I've written a well-written one. The descriptions in the beginning were beautiful. I can feel the destruction and the heat of the flames from Ginny's point of view. You did a really nice job of not merely telling the reader about the flame, but making Ginny show the reader through her actions and her pain. The short-lived conversation between Ginny and Harry didn't make me want to cringe, so good job with that, lol. I like the bit of wisdom that Harry sprouted at the end; it almost reminded me of Dumbledore. Just one thing though, you might want to take out some of those names when they talk to each other. I don't think Harry would have the strength to say that many words including Ginny's name over and over again.

I really loved that line in the middle where you wrote about Ginny whispering in Harry's ear even though he was dead. I shivered; it was something so small but so powerful in showing Ginny's helplessness and grief. And in the end, when she collapsed, I like how she doesn't reveal who her rescuer is. You're very good at keeping the entire thing in her point of view without giving details away. I really get the feeling that I’m in her shoes while she's going in and out of consciousness, not really able to hang onto the visions and feelings around her. The story flowed very well, and I'm looking forward to see where you go with this plot.

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Review #18, by mischiefmanaged Flames

3rd August 2007:
I really enjoyed this. This isn't your typical Harry/Ginny story and it's very well written. Your beginning is wonderful, and it really captures the reader into your story. Good job on that.

The dialogue between Harry and Ginny is very good. The only thing I have to say that it gets a little repetitive when each sentence starts with a name. This is just a suggestion, but maybe a little variety can be good for it. Like instead of "Ginny, tell Remus I'm sorry we went off without him," you can try, "Tell Remus that I'm sorry we went off without him," or something like that.

I found some small spelling errors. You forgot the h in the word 'yeah' and sometimes you had a period where a comma should be in some dialogue. You can also expand on this a little, maybe describe the environment around them a little more. Other than that, this was a very enjoyable read.

Author's Response: I fixed up that bit with the names, and so saw what you meant by that, so thanks for pointing it out!

I also *think* I got that error, and I'll be seeing about a beta or revising it to catch the rest, thanks! And I'll try to expand in my revision, but glad you found it enjoyable!

Thanks!
-Caiti


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Review #19, by Midna Flames

1st August 2007:
Okay, strap in because I'm gonna say something even I'm not prepared for.

I enjoyed this. Yeah, it is a big deal because I loathe Harry/Ginny with a deep passion. I really liked your descriptions and you kept your characters canon. Your word choice was pretty nice, using words not often used by authors on HPFF.

The only thing I'd watch out for is something a beta like myself would notice. Things like correct capitalization and punctuation are nothing to completely worry about, but it wouldn't hurt to have another pair of eyes check your work for typos.

Very nice. 9/10

Author's Response: * straps in*

glad you enjoyed, even though you loathe Harry/Ginny. thanks for saying that :)

alright, will have to find a beta then, thanks for pointing that out.

thanks for the very nice and the 9/10!!

♥Cait


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Review #20, by BitterSweetFlames Flames

26th July 2007:
Hello.. This is SkitsandBits... I really don't have any CC with this.. I think your setting was lovely and so was the overall feel of the story (even if it was so sad)... Anyway, that's all.. I'll read the next chapter when I have the chance..

9/10

Author's Response: yay!! no CC!!! thanks for everthing you said and the 9/10!!

thanks for the review!!

♥Cait


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Review #21, by mmcgonagall06 (not logged in) Flames

25th July 2007:
This was great! I'm on to read the next chapter, then!

Author's Response: glad you think it is great and thanks for the review!!

♥Cait


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Review #22, by padfoots girl Flames

25th July 2007:
Yes, I like this one very much. It's a typical story though, so just make sure that it doesn't end up like all the others. You just have to write it your own way and it'll turn out wonderful. I really like the first chapter, keep it up.

Author's Response: i will, don't worry. glad you like it!! thanks for the review!!

♥Cait


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Review #23, by the nutty imp Flames

21st July 2007:
You describe the destruction so well. I could almost imagine it. And using Ginny's POV ensured that we reders glimpse her thoughts and feelings through-out all this.

What could make it better is for you to also add another sense ... like the the sense of taste or sense of smell. The smell of burnt oil, wood or flesh, taste of one's own blood; scattered a bits into the story (it would give your already amazing description a better dimensional feel.

Heart-wrenching to lose someone that way but at least he was able to say that he loved her before he left. I like that you described how difficult it was for her, the way she struggled to reach him. It showed us readers that she was badly injured, without you having to tell us the extent of her injuries.

This is a great start. It pulls the readers in immediately. I really like this :)

Author's Response: Thanks! Oh, when I go back and edit/re-write I'll be sure to add taste! Such a lovely idea, really, especially when it comes to burning, blood and the smoke/scene around them. Thanks for the suggestion, I think it'll really help! ^^

And I'm glad it did! To be honest, I avoid injuries if I can 'cause I'm not so great with knowing what will cause pain, inability to do much, etc. So glad that worked!

Thanks, so good to hear! =D


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Review #24, by goddessofsnark Flames

20th July 2007:
I like the descriptions of what's going on. The fire's intensely graphic, but not in a shock-value sort of way, but more in a way that makes you feel as if you're there. And it's very good.

There are some parts where the phrasing of things feel a little forced, as if you labored too hard to find the perfect way to word the sentence, rather than going with one that felt natural, but those are few and far between. the "She had then lost conciousness" is one of the ones that springs to mind, it just doesn't flow with the rest of the paragraph.

But other than that, or being a harry/ginny, it's of to a really rather good start, and you may even tempt me to read beyond the first chapter.

Author's Response: I totally know what you mean! There were definitely points where I was stumbling to try to find the right words, so I think I'll be going back to re-writer some of this chapter. It was ages ago that I wrote it originally, so hopefully now I can make things flow a bit better!

thanks, and I certainly hope so!


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Review #25, by _Emma_ Flames

20th July 2007:
Aww! I Love this story so far, no story has ever made me cry but this has. PLEASE update soon!!!

Author's Response: thanks for saying you love, no other fic has made you cry? wow, sorry it did but thanks!! the update is up :)

♥Cait


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