Reading Reviews for A Cup for the Canons
  
20 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lya Darkfury True Love

13th December 2007:
I really like their passwords of choice...hehe, nice coincidence. Keep it up, you're writing is excellent and I am really looking forward to seeing how things come along between those two. =)

Author's Response: I'm very glad you liked that, because it will be semi-important in future chapters! ;) Thank you for reading and reviewing!

~Katie


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Review #2, by harry_crazy True Love

6th November 2007:
Keep on writing!! It's really good!

Author's Response: Glad you like it!

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Review #3, by Roonil Weezlib Crying and comfort

27th October 2007:
Brilliant story. It's well written. Hopefully the Marauders appear more soon.

Author's Response: Glad you like it! I'll try! James appears a lot in the next chapter, does that count?

~Hermionesclass


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Review #4, by kat potter Crying and comfort

27th October 2007:
i love this story and i can't wait til the next chapter. please post it soon. 11/10 it is beyond brillient.

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I'm glad you like it, and I'll post the next chappie ASAP!

~Hermionesclass


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Review #5, by myriad Crying and comfort

24th October 2007:
This chapter was very good also, though I would have liked it to be longer.

For the first three chapters your characters are surprisingly well developed. Usually they're all hollow, just not right, but you've done a good job on that point. Your plot is excellent. and your writing style is very nice. I like how you've sort of taken a step backwards to the classic L/J type of fic. It's refreshing.

All in all 10/10 you've done a great job with this fic.

Author's Response: I'm really glad you like it and I'm very happy you don't think it's cliche! Thank you for your wonderful reviews!

As to the length, this is probably the only chapter that woll be this short it was important for the plot!

Thanks again for your wonderful reviews!

~Hermionesclass


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Review #6, by myriad A Surprise on the Hogwarts Express

24th October 2007:
uh-ohhh Lily's going toget jealous. This should get interesting.

This was another excellent chapter. I just want to warn you about the whole 'living together' Cliche...You know they move in together, lily falls in love and two weeks later their shagging on the sofa. Make it different somehow please! Though is James has a girlfriend I can see already that it will be in a way.

I like how James cursed the slytherins for Lily. It was sweet. I also like how you introduced James' girlfriend at the end. very sneaky.

Keep up the good work. 10/10

Author's Response: Lol, glad you like it! Yeah, the living together thing is very cliche, but I think a lot of funny/awkward scenes can develop from that. How 'bout this: They will have seperate living accomodations but they will be seperate from each other, too? Hey, that's not a bad idea.....Lily just thinks they live together.....*looks thoughtful* Mwahaha, thank you!

~Hermionesclass


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Review #7, by myriad Prologue

24th October 2007:
This was really cute, and well written too. Classic L/J, but without all that cliche and annoyingness. good job.

You (or your Beta(or both) have done an excellent job with the spelling/grammer end of this. I didn't notice any mistakes or typos. Also the chapter had a really nice uninterupted flow. I like how you introduced your characters and their roles in the group, theres really only one sentence in the entire chapter I would change and that is "...She was the long legged modely type, but her personality was far from modelly." Modelly is overused there. It's the only sentence where things get choppy. Maybe you should change it, go with something more like "...She was the long legged modellt type, but (luckily?) her personality did not match her appearence."

Over all 9/10. It was really great. keep up the good work! I'm adding this to my favourites.


Author's Response: Yay! Favourited! Glad you like it so much. I agree with you, and I really appreciate your suggestion, I had a mental block for that sentence. Yeah, I don't have a beta, I just proof read a million times before submitting it, and then make minor changes as it goes along. Thank you very much for your review!!

~Hermionesclass


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Review #8, by HPGRL550 Crying and comfort

13th October 2007:
i wanna know what happens!! it has a good plot so please
hurry and finish!!

Author's Response: Okay! I will update ASAP! I'm glad you like my story! Thanks for reviewing!

~Hermionesclass


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Review #9, by JamesIsMyHero Crying and comfort

13th October 2007:
James seemed really harsh towards Lily. i mean, he is in love with her and all. good story

Author's Response: I don't want to give away much of the plot, but he might be trying to tell her that he's over her. After all, you can only be turned down so many times before becoming desperate or moving on. Thanks for reviewing!

~Hermionesclass


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Review #10, by Helovesmenot18 Crying and comfort

13th October 2007:
this is AWESOME!!! please update soon,
Rating 10/10

Author's Response: I will update ASAP! I have 2 one-shots I need to post, and a chapter per story throughout my five stories, so unless I get TA, ASAP could take a while. ;)

~Hermionesclass


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Review #11, by GrungGranger Crying and comfort

11th October 2007:
Okay, I told you I feel uncomfortable with stories from a girl’s point of view. This chapter made me very uncomfortable. (LOL) Let’s see the whole chapter took place in a girl’s bedroom with the main character in her bed along with her three female friends. It was a very good chapter showing Lily’s deep feelings for James at least I think it was since I read it with my eyes closed. :D
Thanks for this,
Grung


Author's Response: Lol. At least you liked it! I'm sorry it's all in Lily's point of view, but for me, it's easier to write. I may add a couple James POV, but not until later! Thanks for reviewing!

~Hermionesclass


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Review #12, by GrungGranger A Surprise on the Hogwarts Express

11th October 2007:
I didn’t know Lily grew up in an orphanage. When did I miss that or is that something you cam up with. Am I so old that my mind is now going. It doesn’t make any difference I guess except I would hate to think I would end up forgetting your story. I am enjoying it very much. You’re very talented. I think you have probably heard all before, this but you did a very unique thing when you used the girl’s conversation about thier summer vacations to build their character and provide some back story. It was very subtle and a nice way to do it. DID SHE REALLY GROW UP IN AN ORPHANAGE?
Thanks for this
Grung


Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review! You think I'm talented? Aw, shucks. lol. Thanks. Um, I don't think Lily grew up in an orphanage. It's just something I threw in there to thicken the plot. Thanks again for your wonderful review!

~Hermionesclass


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Review #13, by GrungGranger Prologue

11th October 2007:
I liked the story. I have to admit I am not a girl and stories from a girl perspective always make me uncomfortable. My problem not yours. Your writing style is easy to read. Your story building and telling skill is above average. The story itself is interesting and this chapter forms a strong foundation to build off of. I am not sure of this line, it has me confused. “Juliette was her closest Muggle friend from the orphanage.” What orphanage? Maybe I am being dense. I plan on following this story to its conclusion because your writing has peaked my interest in it.
Thanks for this,
Grung


Author's Response: Wow, I'm glad you like it so much. Yeah, I should haveexplained that, I guess, but it's answered in the next chapter. Thanks for reviewing!!

~Hermionesclass


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Review #14, by SilverThimble Crying and comfort

4th October 2007:
when I started reading this, I was all like, "oh god, no, another boring, cliched, badly-written Marauders story". Happily, it was none of those things. Your characters were realistic, and it wasn't all just lily yelling at james for no reason. I liked it, because you are doing something half way original with the story. :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I appreciate the input and I'm glad you think my plot is original. I'm beyond glad that my plot isn't cliched, that is my absolute pet peeve, so this makes me feel good about my story! Thx again! ^_^

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Review #15, by calderglen Crying and comfort

28th September 2007:
lol. I like your style. What will happen with lily and james? Anyways, I'm going to add this to my faves. 10/10

Author's Response: Awesome! Favourited! Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad you like my story, keep reading~

~Hermionesclass101


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Review #16, by Lya Darkfury Crying and comfort

28th September 2007:
Oh this is a really sweet story so far! I love the comraderie and all the jealousy/confused feelings and drama...seems just about like high school =) Very well done with the characterizations also. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks! I really like this chapter, even if it is a little shorter.

~Hermionesclass


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Review #17, by LifeAndTimesOfABrokenSoul A Surprise on the Hogwarts Express

25th September 2007:
Ooooh burnt, this is going to be interesting I can just tell.I'm going to start making your banner now

Taylor

Author's Response: Thx so much!! The other one was just so perfect, I didn't want to ask anyone else!! =) Thx again!!! =)

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Review #18, by harrylilyjames A Surprise on the Hogwarts Express

23rd September 2007:
awe no!! So Lily is an orphan?
The end was sooo evil, poor Lily... i really liked it.

'I do not want to shag James Potter!'- i laughed soo hard at this statement... hope you keep writing. =)
10/10!!

Author's Response: My third chapter is currently waiting for validation as a matter of fact =). Thx for reviewing both chapters!!

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Review #19, by harrylilyjames Prologue

23rd September 2007:
lol... i really liked it, i loved this beginning of it, i was smiling like a jerk all the way through this chappie

*nice job*

but just one thing- i cant see james making a complete fool out of himself, he just seems to put all his effort into looking cool and handsome... he wouldnt go down on one knee
but its you story... its up to you.
im gone to read the next chapter.
~hlj

Author's Response: Well, me neither but he's just been asking for so long, I can see him becoming kind of desperate, you know? I don't think anyone could be turned down that often and NOT be desperate.

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Review #20, by The_Nameless_One A Surprise on the Hogwarts Express

31st August 2007:
CLIFFHANGER! Prongsie has a girlfriend!!! Good chapter. Seeing as right now it's a lot of setting up the characters and stuff, I'm interested to see where the story goes from here. =]
xo
TN1~

Author's Response: I love cliffies! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. I'll update ASAP.

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