Amazing! Report Review
UPDATE SOON! I like it so far, and can't wait to see where you take it!
~Raven~ Report Review
If you are still writing this story please continue! I loved it so far and i'm sure the rest can't be too bad if this is how awsome you write ^_^
Oh! & please check out my story and leave a review if you wouldn't mind!
xXx Soul of Severus Report Review
wonderful; keep it up! Report Review
Wow. that was awesome. Keep up the great work and update soon!!!
10.10 Report Review
Really good. NOW UPDATE THE NEXT CHAPTER ASAP! Report Review
Rushed. Very rushed. Step back, take a minute, don't just rush through dialogue and expect it to be good. Take you time with it. WHY does Snape offer to lend an ear? It is, after all, Snape.
Take time. Add in something of substance between dialogue. Description. Emotion. Action.
This stands a chance at being good. And I'll keep an eye on it, SS/HG is my favorite ship, I'm not just going to give up on a fic that has potential, it's just that this needs a lot of work. Not so much with the idea. Not o much with the mechanics, you know how to form a setence, you know how to string sentences together. But the issue is with the pacing. It feels as if you have this GREAT idea for a story, and you can't wait to spit it out, so you just...spit it out as rapidly as possible. Take time with it, and it will be much much better.
But I do like it, and it does have a hope. Keep working on it. Report Review
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