Reading Reviews for Forget Him
  
37 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Roxanne Forget Him.

9th December 2011:
Omg.. So sad u made me cry!! It's great by the way, u really helped get over my parents death, it was quite awful but this really helped. I'll just have to forget them. They'll always live in my heart. They gave something really special, and keeping it will keep them alive. Thx again for the great fanfic

Author's Response: I am so moved that I could help you through something like losing your parents. That's what writing is all about, right?

Thanks for your kind words :)

-Lily


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Review #2, by xlivexlovexdreamx Forget Him.

1st November 2011:
Wow! This was so moving! Well done =)

Author's Response: Thank you!

-Lily


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Review #3, by sophie_elle_malfoy Forget Him.

28th October 2011:
This was the first time I hated Hermione. Well, I confess I'm a huge fan of Draco Malfoy/ Tom Felton. So, reading a story of Hermione treating Draco like that, I was pretty pissed :P Good job though. It was a new kind of Dramione I've ever read. Though I hated Hermione in this story, I loved your story ;)
Good work Lily!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot! I love Hermione and Draco, so this was tricky (but fun!) to write.

-Lily


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Review #4, by MajiKat Forget Him.

25th September 2010:
here to review again ^_^

okay, im typing as i read, cause i know you want to re-work this, so i'll just comment where i see something.

I'd place the second opening sentence first - i like short sentences as openers and i think that little sentence is powerful and immediately engaging. for example:

"It pained him to watch her ache. For two years he had been witness to her suffering, knowing full well there wasnít a thing he could do to help her, and hating that."

something like that maybe.

okay moving on...

don't change this line: Wasnít he, who had been there for her when the other one had not, reason enough for her to keep trying? it's perfect!

their history i think needs something more. i'm not sure what but it seems..i don't know, bereft of something. is this third person omniscient? there is a slight jump into what she thought and im not sure if that is him retelling or not. if its third person limited, then i think you have room in their history to add more emotion perhaps? im unsure if thats what it needs, but it needs something more...sorry that is so vague :P

alright, onto the flow of the story. its a little disjointed towards the end, mainly because of the use of so many short, sharp sentences. it felt choppy to read it - that doesn't mean the imagery and the emotion you used isn't good, because it is, but it lacks fluidity with those little sentences. a nice balance of short, compound and complex is what you need.

i understand why she did it but i think there needs to be more explaination leading up to that - more mention of ron perhaps; little things. maybe draco finds a note ron wrote her? photos? things that show us she didn't just forget him and move on. stuff like that

i do like the use of the gun

there needs to be more done with the ending. it falls a little flat, at the moment. we get built up with the climax and then, there isn't too much of a resolution. im not sure what you could do to fix that though - i mean, where does he go from here?

i know you said you're doing a rewrite so i hope this helped at all. i'd love to see more poetry in this, like in the Doe ^_^ and i'm sure you've already considered that.

thanks for requesting hun!
kate xx

Author's Response: hi, so, SO sorry I took so long to respond to this. And I promise, your review for Dust is coming soon.

Anyways,

I completely agree with the switching of the sentences, thanks! It is much more effective, and nicer to read.

I've had the comment about the history before, and I agree, it needs something more... just more in general I think, because we don't really get much of what happened between them.

Thank you for the other comments - I agree with everything you said, so I won't waste space by acknowledging each point seperately :). I'm hoping to fix this up soon, but I'm short of free time at the moment.

I'd love to have more poetry in this one too, believe me!

Thanks so much for such a thorough review, I really appreciate it!

-Lily


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Review #5, by HoneyBabyDarlin Forget Him.

4th September 2010:
Wow~ that was really good. I sort of wished you had just ended with Hermione's last line from the suicide not, but it was still a very wonderful story. Amazingly good job!

10/10

Author's Response: Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked it.

Thank you for taking the time to review!

-Lily


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Review #6, by dfdh Forget Him.

15th April 2008:
wow ...brilliant fantastic..ò.

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm glad you like it!

♥Lily


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Review #7, by Lillylover22 Forget Him.

24th January 2008:
that was soo beautiful but soo sad!! 10/10 =]

Author's Response: Oh, I know, sad sad.
I'm glad you liked it though!
Thank you so much!

♥ Lily


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Review #8, by Autumn_Hope Forget Him.

24th January 2008:
This was beautifully written and I love it!
It was a good story and flowed really well!

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm so pleased you enjoyed it!

♥ Lily


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Review #9, by SilverThimble Forget Him.

11th December 2007:
gosh...I'm in two minds about this. On the one hand, it was very nicely written, and had an interesting and original plotline. On the other, it just seemed like it wasn't personal enough. You laid out all the facts, but I couldn't really connect with the characters, so the ending wasn't the huge shock it should have been.
However, I thought you tied the movie quote in very well, and your description was excellent. I could only find one mistake : "the last time he would see her voice". It should probably be "the last time he would hear her voice".

Overall, a 8 and a half/10

Author's Response: Wow. Really? You didn't get attached? I'm pretty sure all most every review i've had yet has said that they felt the loss. Did you feel the emotion though, feel the loss?

Thank you for the review, nonetheless. I'm pleased you took the time, and thank you for the compliments. I work hard on descriptions =)

Thank so much again!!

xx ♥ Lily


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Review #10, by tbhasker Forget Him.

29th October 2007:
*sniffs, holding tissue in hand, dabbing eyes once in a while* That was really good and sad and a major tearjerker. What to do? I'm a sensitive person. I really really advise you to write a story that might have taken before this one, or maybe just another sweet dramione story. Luv it, Luv it, Luv it! Please check out and review my story too. It's called A Life of Deceit by tbhasker. Cheers to you! Definitely a 10/10!!! ^.^

Author's Response: Thank you =) I'm glad you liked it! I might do that, I don't know. I like to leave something to the imagination though with my stories.... which is probably why I can only write one-shot fanfics. ;)
I'll try to read yours, really =)

Thanks again!
xx Lily


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Review #11, by return35 Forget Him.

29th October 2007:
this is amazing! I can only congratulate you! Great job!!!

Author's Response: I can only say thank you! =)

xx Lily


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Review #12, by Venus725 Forget Him.

29th October 2007:
Very sad. An interesting point of view...very different from typical Draco/Hermione stories.

Author's Response: Thank you =) I like things to be different!

Thanks for reviewing!

xx Lily


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Review #13, by Lily Opal Evans Forget Him.

18th September 2007:
wow. again.
That was definatley an emotionally powerful one shot. I'm almost in tears, two brilliant anngsts in one day- i need some fluff lol.
Siriusly, it was amazing! I saw that challenge and that closing line of the note-
"To quote you, there will be no suffering at all, if only you would forget me."
To me, that line seemed spiteful and i went cold, she was showing it's not easy to forget someone you love and, just, wow. Now i've lost all my interesting ajectives!
One thing i did notice though was that you put `know one else who seemed to want her` rather than no-one.
The change in hermione- especially through the library reference- really showed how much she was greiving.
Have fun doing your homework *groans* i have to do mine tomorrow :(


Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm so glad you liked it =) & so sorry I haven't gotten to reading one of your yet. I will! I promise...I just don't have a lot of time lately.
I'll fix that ;) Thank you for pointing it out!

Ha, thanks again =)

xx Lily


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Review #14, by dramione12 Forget Him.

8th September 2007:
Again...WOW! The way you write...you just really capture the characters feelings and you are really good at writing emotions! Loved it! :-)

Author's Response: Thanks so much!
I'm glad you liked it :)
Thanks for the review =)

xx Lily


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Review #15, by SweetGoodbye Forget Him.

2nd September 2007:
Oh Jesus Mary Joseph. :'( I didn't cry but... but my heart, I could feel it swelling with despair. [ignore cheeseyness haha.] Especially when I saw Draco's name, and I don't even like that pairing. This was very sweet and very sad. The most lovely bit was when he was holding her after she did it, though it was horribly sad it was very touching. This was lovely. xx

Author's Response: Lol. I don't mind the cheesyness. It's awesome =)
I'm so glad you like it =)
Thanks so much for the lovely comments, and for reviewing!

xx Lily


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Review #16, by PadfootBlack16 Forget Him.

15th August 2007:
OMG, venice, i love it

your descriptions were so vivid...the way you show Hermione`s emotions are just...spectacular...i mean...wow, i loved it.

im speachless really.would make this longer.but im speachless.thats how much i liked it...you are the second author arround him to actually make me cry over a fic.

*claps*

10/10 and gooing in my favs

pad

Author's Response: *jawdrop*
Ah Pad I love you so much right now you have no idea! *tackle hug*
I'm so glad you liked it!!!
But I am sorry to make you cry ;)

THANK YOU!! *grin*

xx Lily


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Review #17, by audiodroplet Forget Him.

5th August 2007:
Oh my lord.
This seriously made me want to cry.
Amazingly well written. I love how you don't let on to who everyone is until the end. Made me want more and more of this story.
Never stop writing!
I might have to go read other stories of yours now.
:)
You're an amazing writer!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the amazing review! You have totally just made my day!

I will never stop writing hun! Reviews like this make me never want to think about it.

Thank you so much again! I'm so glad you liked it!!

xxLily =)


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Review #18, by luvdraco87 Forget Him.

3rd August 2007:
i cried while reading this.its so sad.
this is a wonderful story

-constance

Author's Response: Aww *hands tissue*
Thank you! I'm glad you like it!

xxLily


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Review #19, by njhill22 Forget Him.

1st August 2007:
Coming by to review here! This was really great! I love dark, angsty story so this was definitely right up my alley! I must say I'm surprised you got away with a 15+ rating considering the subject matter, but that's not terribly important. The way you portrayed Draco's thoughts at the end was fantastic...prejudices still in tact, or at least coming back to life after she killed herself for Ron. Only thing the could've been explained a little more was maybe how they ended up together, maybe a bit more elaborated. Other besides that 10/10 =)

Author's Response: Lol. Well, it's not really graphice or anything, you don't see that actual event, just the aftermath, so I figured 15+ would do ^_^
Thank you very much! I like to write Draco, so it's good to know I do it well =)

Well, actually, this is recently edited, changed quite a bit, with more background then I had before. A lot more, and I think it's at how I want it to be... a difference of opinion I s'pose.

I'm glad you like it nonetheless!

Thank you for reviewing =)

xxLily


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Review #20, by Zacharias_Smith Forget Him.

31st July 2007:
Hi, I'm reviewing again (the edited version!) - just wanted to say that I think you've improved on this one-shot a lot and it seems to have come together quite a bit. There's more detail, particularly on Hermione's use of a gun, and the thought process of Draco is very intense and emotional. I really like it!

Author's Response: Oh, thank you for coming by again!!

Thanks, I tried to expand on some of the things you and others had pointed out.

Thanks again :) I'm glad you like it!

xxLily


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Review #21, by HrXd Forget Him.

30th July 2007:
Well I have to say that this made me cry, and that is a hard thing to accomplish. You did a great job with spreading the emotions and also the description was lovely. Great job.

Author's Response: Oh, sorry! I'm glad you liked in nonetheless!!

Thanks for reviewing :)

xxLily


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Review #22, by goddessofsnark Forget Him.

29th July 2007:
No, this is certainly not cliche at all. Very well written, aside from a few typos here and there. (IE "She took want she was given" when you meant "She took what she was given) but nothing that really detracts from the story over all. Its very well done, and surprisingly in character for the subject matter in hand. While my view on Hermione is that she's too stubborn to give in like that, you portrayed it very well, and managed to sway my opinion, at least for the length of this piece. I quite enjoyed it in all of it's dark, angsty glory. Very well done.

Author's Response: Oh yay! Thanks, I'm glad you think so.
Oh, I'll work on that. I'm trying to wait for a banner to edit it again.
In character you think? Oh thank goodness. I always worry about that with Dramiones.
I swayed an opinion of yours? Really! Awesome :)
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

Thanks for reviewing!
xxLily


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Review #23, by spicyhc123(not logged in) Forget Him.

28th July 2007:
You were right when you said Dramoine is my favorite =] I really liked this but Id have to say I was really kind of confused. I was thinking that Hermione married Draco, but then it said Ron was dead, so did Ron marry Hermione? I undertsand that Ron died and Hermione was upset, but I didnt get who married who first.

You discriptions were good however, I felt that you showed the emotions beautifully. I didnt see many spelling/grammar errors except for using three instead of 3.

Other than that, I thought it was pretty good =]

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for this.
Well, Ron and Hermione were supposed to get married, but he got cold feet and left her waiting at the alter. It says so in Draco's thoughts and hints in peices of the story. Maybe you missed it ^_-

I'm glad you liked it nonetheless!

Thanks for the compliments, and the wonderful review!! :)

xxLily


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Review #24, by Might Have Ben Hur Forget Him.

26th July 2007:
Very emotional. Kudos in that regard. The only thing I really had a problem with was the timeline. It was hard to understand from the way you wrote it. I get it now, but I had to reread. That shouldn't happen. I'd also stick with the traditional quotations. It just lets it flow better. Italics is fine for inner thoughts though. Anyway, beautiful. It really was. You expressed every change of emotion perfectly. Cheers.

Author's Response: Hey Might_Have_Ben_Hur!
Thanks, for the compliments and the review in general!
I completely agree with the two things you pointed out. I'm editing as I type this...I don't know what I was thinking with not using quotations..o_0

Thanks again!

xxLily


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Review #25, by taylorj828 Forget Him.

24th July 2007:
Hi! I came, finally! I didn't forget you, I promise! Anywho, I'm not familiar with the challenge, so I hope that's okay.

Well, this was good. I like your pacing and the flow, Draco's thoughts work quite nicely and even though I guessed it was Draco, I like that you don't actually tell us until later. Great job there. (o:

You convey the emotion nicely, particularly with Hermione's absent living. I mean, I like the images you use and the different ideas that show us how Hermione is not herself. We all know her well enough to know that something terrible is wrong.

Their history is succint. You've included some nice details to give us a bit of their story. But I would suggest perhaps being able to see more emotion from Draco after her suicide. Especially if he also has to swallow her not truly loving him as he had thought.

That's what we have to believe, right? That she had loved Ron too much, had lost him, and wouldn't stay around with Draco. I think this added to the sorrow of her loss would be terribly painful, especially for someone who delayed so long in letting himself love. So, I might like to see more about Draco's feelings and emotions in response... I dunno..

Erm, don't usually like suicide stories but this was alright. And your writing was quite nice, so I can only offer that one suggestion. Great work. Let me know if you have any more stories you post. (o:

Author's Response: Haha, no worries! I'm just glad you came :)

Thanks for the compliments on the emotions and thoughts :)

More emotion from Draco coming up! I'm editing this story, extensively, in the next day or two...

Haha thanks :)

I'll be sure to!

Thanks for reviewing, Taylor!

xxLily


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