Reading Reviews for Black Hearts Fading
  
22 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ginnygirl808 Their Wedding Days

13th March 2009:
i liked it. . . it was good . . . keep up the good work. . .

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Review #2, by Kaylia Their Wedding Days

7th February 2008:
this is really good! i really enjoyed it 10/10

Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #3, by Misty_Rey Their Wedding Days

26th December 2007:
This was really lovely piece of one-shot, I was quite impressed. My favorite part had to be, not description of the place and surrounding and such, but the description of emotions and thoughts. These types of descriptions are sometimes overlooked but when written well enough, can drive the plot of the story however short the length may be. I liked how with each sister, you focused on one particular emotional aspect that moulded her own character. How Narcissa was seen by the outside as mindless and meant to be still and look pretty but within herself, she knew she had a mind of her own and what ever choices she made, they were her own and she wouldn't make excuses for the course her life was taking as they were, again, hers to make. With Andromeda, it was the conflicts within her, how she had always been the middle child and her confusion over what she was supposed to think and what she wanted to think. There was also the fear that was present in her but not of the fear of her safety but rather, her soon to be husband's which shows that she possesses compassion within her. Bellatrix, I have to say, was the most unexpected of all. The way she was portrayed as just slightly on the unstable side, making her wedding an untypical affair and making it her way. The black revealing wedding dress, the blood red tiara, all signs of her very twisted mind. It was very clear that her passion was power and domination and that came across very well. The writing style of the story was simplistic and it worked for this type of story where dialogue and description wasn't needed and depended wholey on emotion. Great job! 10/10

~Misty

Author's Response: Wow, you got spot-on what I was trying to portray with Narcissa: the fact that she chooses to be passive. It really irritates me when people say they don't have a choice; you always have a choice, but sometimes you just don't want to make it. In this fic, Narcissa chooses to go along with her family because it's what she believes is right.

With Andromeda, I tried to show that it couldn't have been easy breaking away from an "evil" family. Everybody always portray's Sirius' escape as a spur-of-the-moment, don't-look-back kind of thing, and I seriously doubt it was. It has to be painful running away from your family.

Haha, Bellatrix was the most fun to write. I don't see her being traditional about anything, let alone her wedding.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #4, by Pretty Purple Pelican Their Wedding Days

25th November 2007:
Wonderfully written, actually. You don't yourself enough credit. I envy your ability to flawlessly describe the three women. I especially liked how the all ended their paragraphs with the walk down the aisle. It was just great! :)

Author's Response: "Flawlessly"? Ehh...this was my attempt to be poetic and descriptive instead of action-based. I like the way it came out, but if I had the time I would definitely go back and edit a lot. Thanks for the praise and for reviewing!

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Review #5, by Girldetective85 Their Wedding Days

15th November 2007:
Loved this - brilliantly well written, and such a great idea to connect all three of these women with marriage who have nothing else in common. I like the subtle descriptions that you put into each wedding day, including the fact that Narcissa was pushed into the church while Andromeda cheerfully walked to her husband, and even the choices of flowers and dresses that each woman had reflected her personality. This was really great, I enjoyed it all the way through! 10/10

Author's Response: Yay, I'm glad readers have noticed the different flowers, etc. that I put into the story. I actually did a ridiculous amount of planning for this story...although there's one subtle thing I put in there that nobody's noticed yet...

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #6, by Coffee_Addict Their Wedding Days

15th October 2007:
Agh it's great!
Really different ^.^
Keep up the good work :)

Author's Response: I'm really glad you liked it. It was really interesting for me to write an all-description piece without any action, but I'm really glad I did.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #7, by marieluz Their Wedding Days

3rd October 2007:
good story! except bellatrix was evil!

Author's Response: Haha, and that's surprising because...?

:)

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #8, by Potterholic Their Wedding Days

26th September 2007:
Nice one-shot. I like how you wrote their wedding preparations and made each of them unique and in character, especially the way they walked into their wedding. Narcissa was pushed in, Andromeda cheerfully, and Bella with her confident strut. I like the idea that Bella would wear a black dress, I can’t picture her in a traditional white wedding dress. Your description was really nice too. All in all, you did a great job. Keep it up!

Author's Response: Ooh, I'm so glad you picked up on that! I was very careful in how I described their behaviors and I'm glad someone noticed. Haha, I couldn't picture Bella in a white dress either. I was debating between red and black and I figured black was more evilly elegant.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #9, by thegraylady Their Wedding Days

20th September 2007:
Oh my God, this story was amazing! I like one-shots to have a lot of insight in to the character(s) mind(s), and you definitely did that! I thought you portrayed each sister very well, and I really like that it was set on each of their wedding days. I especially liked Andromeda and Bellatrix. Narcissa was just so, mindless as you put it. I've always liked to think that Narcissa had more of a personality, but to tell you the truth, you probably got it right.

All in all, it was a beautiful one-shot. Good job!

Author's Response: Wow...thank you! This is definitely something that was different from what I usually write, so I'm kinda proud of it. I actually don't think of the three sisters in this way after reading Deathly Hallows...but I kept them this way in order to have them fit the challenge this fic was written for.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #10, by padfoots girl Their Wedding Days

14th August 2007:
Nice! I really liked how you characterized each of them, especially Bella. Really good job!

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #11, by Harrypotterhotties33 Their Wedding Days

11th August 2007:
i love love love it!

Author's Response: Wow :)

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #12, by ralj1640 Their Wedding Days

10th August 2007:
That was intresting. I coudl picture all of them doing that, and I felt like I was really there. I think that you captured there thoughts perfectly also. Great job:)

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #13, by PandemoniumLust Their Wedding Days

7th August 2007:
Hi, sorry that I keep you waiting, I was busy. As always I’ll start with my usual phrase: sometimes I’m writing review while I read, so my review may seem strange. Short review doesn’t mean that I don’t like story. :D And my reviews aren’t very helpful, I just write my thought, because I’m only a reader too.
Black sisters sounds good, I only don’t like 12+ :P (Am I perverted?) Congrats with beta, it means that you’re serious writer, I mean, all writers should have find beta, because sometimes it’s so sad that good plot seems hard to understand because there are lot of mistakes.
I laughed about this sentence: “Bellatrix had refused to share a bed with Rodolphus until she had gotten that tiara.” I always loved Bella.
So… Idea about three different brides is perfect, really, I enjoyed it form first to last word. If you have read 7 HP book, you could change something in second part (I mean about Andromeda and her look), but otherwise it’s perfect. I guess I can’t say anything bad. :D Story was interesting despite fact that there wasn’t real plot (adventures and etc.) 9/10.
Keep writing!
~Eva.


Author's Response: Don't worry, I'm not too fond of 12+ either...in fact I rarely ever read it. I only made this a 12+ because I really had no reason to make it not, you know? This is how it came out when I wrote it and it was a definite 12+ fic. I like betas...they find the stupid mistakes I make so that I don't feel stupid when a reader points them out. I, too, love Bella...I think she's a fun character that you really can't hate. I probably won't be making the corrections with DH, merely because it's so small and insignificant.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #14, by BitterSweetFlames Their Wedding Days

2nd August 2007:
I like that every point of view was different from the others.. It shows how different they are.. Though they are sisters...

Anyway, lovely story.. Keep up the good work...

SkitsandBits

Author's Response: Yup, that was the point of the one-shot. To show their differences, etc. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #15, by njhill22 Their Wedding Days

1st August 2007:
This was really great! Each sister's different personalities shined intheir own ways. I loved this line in particular: They seemed to flit around Narcissa like insects around a dying carcass, growing rank in the summer heat.

Considering DH, it fits quite well with Narcissa's character. Same goes for Bellatrix, who was practically pining over Voldemort...seemed she was even before her wedding. Andromenda's was of course the only one that actually seemed to be getting married for the right reasons. Anyways, great job! 10/10

Author's Response: I really liked that line when I wrote it because it sounded all artistic and stuff, but I was worried it would sound too pretentious. But I'm glad you like it!

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #16, by luckistars Their Wedding Days

31st July 2007:
Iriki here to review!
I really do love your personification of the three sisters, in particular, Narcissa. The way that you made it obvious that she wouldn't be happy, and the deceit and treachery in the family was rampant within the pureblood home made the story more believable, as well as gave me more possible insight on the sisters.

I think you did a great job overall, though I'd watch for how often you used pronouns and proper nouns, as when I read 'Narcissa - she - her' about a million times, it got me a little unnerved. Complex sentences!
Nice work!

Author's Response: Narcissa's description seems to be pretty popular! I guess it shows when you enjoy something. I wrote Narcissa's first when I was full of inspiration, so I'm glad to see my best effort is appreciated.

Thanks for pointing out the pronoun/proper noun thing...I've never noticed it before. But it's really good to know so that I don't get repetitive.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #17, by thegirllikeme Their Wedding Days

31st July 2007:
It was a unique concept, with characters that we have never seen much of. Characterization was very well done, and I give you a bit of praise, because these are characters I've always been curious about. It was a very good setting of their wedding days, the perfect opportunity to show what these girls must have gone through. I especially felt sorry for Narcissa, and Bellatrix had the right kind of in-control feel that I would suspect of her. However, I didn't really like how you had Andromeda pregant when she got married. Not only, assuming this is Tonks, does it seem like the timing is off, but it just seems to make it feel like she's not marrying him because she loves him. It's probably wasn't what was trying to come across, but it was the impression I got.

But, nontheless, there was good characterization and you gave a glimpse into the characters' minds.

But, unfortunately, a glimpse into the characters' minds was all this oneshot offered. There wasn't really a plot or story to go with this, just them thinking to themselves. No matter how well the story was written or how good the characterization, the story is nothing if it has nothing more than that. It would have been better if there was some sort of plot. I'm afraid, as it was, I found it kind of boring.

But like I said, it was well written and the characterization deserves a tip of the hat.

Author's Response: I respect your opinion about Andromeda being pregnant, but let me just tell you my reasoning. While I'm sure Andromeda loved Ted I feel like she would be reluctant to marry him because he would be a big step and put a big target on her back. I could see her constantly debating about whether or not she should choose him or her family, because it's big thing to abandon your family over a guy...no matter how special he is. Therefore, I made her pregnancy the thing that pushes her over into knowing that marrying Ted is the right thing to do. A sign or such, or maybe just a solid reason to justify (to herself) running away from her family.

I'm glad you were honest with me that the story was a little boring. I totally see how it could be, but it was only meant as a quick one-shot, as a window into their lives.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #18, by Zacharias_Smith Their Wedding Days

31st July 2007:
I really enjoyed this and the concept was great. I love Black sisters fics! And the wedding day idea was great.

Her face was pale and smooth, witness to her cushioned and protected youth.

&

They seemed to flit around Narcissa like insects around a dying carcass, growing rank in the summer heat. -

These were my favourite lines in the story. The second, in particular, was beautifully written and I also adored your metaphorical use of the corset in Narcissa's part.

I thought that Bellatrix's part of the story was good, and you captured her attitude well. I would almost have liked to see more of her different attitudes towards her soon-to-be husband and Voldemort though. I think there was opportunity to go into more details about her feelings towards LV and maybe the fact that she cared more about this than the wedding? Though you sort of portrayed that with her lack of ceremony when it came to the wedding, I guess. I LOVED how she started to 'strut' down the aisle.

I have to say, I think Andromeda's part let the story down a little. After Narcissa's beginning, I expected that intensity of style and vivid portrayal of emotion throughout, but I felt a bit unmoved by Andromeda's scene. I couldn't quite tell what she was feeling - if it was just plain joy at marrying the man she loved, I didn't think that her enthusiasm and love came through clearly enough. Or if there was more to it, like, perhaps, worry about being pregnant, it wasn't explored enough.

I also didn't find this line fitted with the mostly mature and well-written style -

but she was always afraid they would come to kill her one true love.

But, overall, I think this was a great one-shot and I really genuinely enjoyed reading it. You have a very gripping style of writing and it was really enjoyable to read.



Author's Response: Narcissa, I think, was the easiest for me to write because being trapped is easy to describe, for me. Bellatrix was kind of difficult because I wanted her to be extreme, but believable and she didn't really fit the seductress stereotype that I tried to make her fit, so it was just weird. Andromeda's part was the weirdest/hardest for me to write because when I wrote it, we knew next to nothing about Andromeda except that she was a Black who got blasted off the family tree. I will definitely go back and fix her part because I agree that it's wack. Thanks for pointing out all the bad stuff, it really helps me improve and I like knowing that my readers really do care about the piece and aren't just making some mumbo jumbo up.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #19, by Samhria Their Wedding Days

31st July 2007:
Very nicely done. I like how you wrote the different pt of views. I especially liked Bellatrix's. She's pure evil from the beginning and you showed that to your readers with this one-shot story. I love how you ended it with "she struted down the aisle"; I mean, that's typical Bella for ya. lol! I didn't notice hardly any mistakes. You did a very good job writing this one-shot. You've obviously put a lot of effort in it. ^^

*Phoenix_Rose*

Author's Response: Yeah Bella is one nasty piece of work...probably why I can't really hate her. She's just too awesome...sort of like Madam Defarge from Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities, but I digress.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #20, by mischiefmanaged Their Wedding Days

29th July 2007:
I really enjoyed this story! I was looking for a story that had all three of the Black sisters in it, and I guess I found it. I loved your characterizations of them, especially Bellatrix. I always imagined her to be the one who would always get what she wanted. One thing I enjoyed was the mention of Narcissa's corset. I think that really fits her character.

I only have two things to point out. I think you misspelled their aunt's name. Sirius's mother's name is Walburga, not Wilburga. Only a small mistake, something that readers may not even notice. I think that you should probably add in some more detail about Lucius. Rodolphus and Ted have got some detail about them, and I think that Lucius should also have some. The only thing you mentioned about him was that he came from a pureblood family and that Narcissa didn't even know him.

Overall I thought this was a very nice one-shot. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Oh, yay, someone actually cares about the Black sisters! Hehe, :)

I'm so glad you liked the characterization. The point of the challenge (and this one-shot) was to emphasis the three types of women in literature and I'm glad it came across.

I love the corset too! I think Narcissa's character was the most fun to write because there were so many ways to symbolize her passiveness.

About the Walburga/Wilburga thing---oops! That's what I get for writing from memory and not using the HP Lexicon as I should.

Your point about Lucius is very valid...when I find time to go through and edit this, I'll be sure to add that in.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #21, by JamesandLilly4ever Their Wedding Days

28th July 2007:
I liked it.

Author's Response: Umm...thanks!

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Review #22, by spicyhc123(not logged in) Their Wedding Days

28th July 2007:
I thought this was excellent! I felt that you portrayed each character wonderfully! I think that you nailed the emotions towards each sister. This story was great. I didnt see any spelling/grammar problems and the flow of the story was good.

I really didnt see anything wrong, but keep up the great work!

Author's Response: A REVIEW!!! Hehe, sorry...this story hasn't gotten any reviews and I was starting to get kinda depressed. But you've brightened my day! Thanks for reviewing!

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