Aww... boy problems? Seriously wish you luck on that...
If it helps any, I really love this story and what you're doing with it. I meant it before when I said that you hardly get anything this original often, great work.Author's Response: they sort of worked out? eh, confusing
I'm glad you like it so much! and I'm definitley glad you think it's a breath of fresh air and original!! Report Review
Ok, this whole chapter was very confusing and kind of all over the place. I liked it but it has some work.
--It would help everyone in the long wrong --what he came so close to doing and what caused one of the greatest wizards of this to fall to his death because he refused to let them pass. Because he had to have someone watching his every move and fulfill those orders he couldn't.-- this part made no sense at all... I also thing that it was supposed to be "It would help everyone in the long run."
Also since it isnt your first chapter anymore I would suggest not talking about your main chacter like it is your first time introducing her, it gets confusing because its like you are introducing another important character. Use their name.
mmk. I liked this chapter and I love your story overall, but from where I sit this chapter needs a little revising...no offense what so ever to you as an author, your wonderful. Your doing great.
It just seems as though you got a little rushed. But thats ok. This chapters length is wonderful, and I loved the hermione draco scene. Keep up the good work.
+6/10 -- ashleyAuthor's Response: it was for the first part, and it was talking how he came so close to killing Dumbledore because he wouldn't let him pass and how snape had to fulfill those orders for him. basically I called him a wimp in very long winded terms, haha
and okay, I'll keep that in mind =) I'll go through after a good nights sleep sometime and edit the chapter and everything.
I'm glad you still liked it over all even though I had confusing moments and everything!!
and thanks for leaving such long reviews and helping me out on parts =) its nice not to get one liners but get long ones, hehe. Report Review
Wonderful chapter I am likeing how this story is panning out.
Your detail is nice though, I could have done with a little bit more background on the dance group and such, but its ok.
--Naturally, she either expected Voldemort would be dead by then, or she would be dead by them. -- I think it was supposed to be dead by then.
Although I liked this chapter it just seems really short, like things could have been explained more and ideas streached a little further. But it is still a good chapter even if it is short :)
Questions I am asking myself:
Why are her parents waiting her to dance so badly?
Does her dance instructor hate her?
Who is this person tapping her?
Why is she screaming?
I guess I would have to read the next chapter to find out huh?
anyways I loving this story keep up the good work.
+8/10 -- AshleyAuthor's Response: ahh, yes, that would be my mistake on that part. Sorry about that!
I'll try and detail once I begin more for you, okay? =) yay!
For the dance group, I would say because in my mind, her parents never accepted her magical powers, so they would do anything to pull her away from that. but that may just be me.
haha, for the last two, I believe so. Report Review
hmm. what an interesting start.
I believe that she has joined the dark lord or someone
along the lines of this.
Your details in this chapter are amazing. I feel like I am actually there watching this all play out. [Which is a compliment I dont' give out easily.] Alothough I feel as though
this chapter was a bit short and sort of rushed. Maybe just slow it down a little bit, but not too much that it becomes slow.
Overall its beautiful. Wonderfully written. Congrats to your betta as well, I couldn't find a single grammatical error.
+8/10 -- AshleyAuthor's Response: I'm glad you thought it was good overall!
and I'm definitley happy to receive that compliment if it's rare!
I will say, I tend to rush, because used to, like in PONR, I spent so much time on detail, its been like a week with about 20000 words already, heh.
and yay! I'll be sure to tell my beta that =) Report Review
update soon!Author's Response: thanks for reviewing! Report Review
lol i love this story it;s getting good. Please update sooner. and a notebook can be your best friend if you dontlose it trust me i wrote an entire story edited and was about to type it when i lost it at my moms and my sister threw it away!! so guard that notebook. btw good trilogy name very catchy.Author's Response: ah man, that must have sucked! I freaked out when I thought I was going to lose my computer harddrive because I haven't backed up any of my drives [bad me]
but I wrote a little! but once again, my brain needs to finish something else before I get to it. Report Review
okay what happened update update
mrs. weasleyAuthor's Response: haha, oh, the suspense is horrid =P teehee Report Review
so far so good
update soonAuthor's Response: glad you like it :) I'll try to soon Report Review
way too good!Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it so =D Report Review
Can\'t wait to read more!Author's Response: As late as this may be....
i'm writing chapter two now =D Report Review
please update soon!Author's Response: I'm working on it!! Report Review
Hehe, even though I've already read it cause I'm special, it's awesome. ^_^
Wonderful prologue, I love how you ended it and described the scenery. Updateupdate. =)Author's Response: hehe, you are special. SPECIAL ED!
just kidding, riding in the short bus is FUN. =D
I'm working on the second chapter ^_^ Report Review
It very good. UPDate but it a little confusing. But I think I'll get as it gose on. UPDATE!Author's Response: haha, I started chapter two today, so I hope to get it posted tomorrow. Report Review
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