Honestly, the grammar is just atrocious. I mean, "do 'U' understand me?"
Not exactly difficult, is it?
You get a six, if only because Honks. Report Review
by jesus and all that is holy, punctuation is your friend!!! please consider having a friend beta! besides that, I hope the next chapters are very entertaining. [ apologies if i caused offence with the religous remark] Report Review
While it appears that English may be your second language, or you are very young, I must admit that your story is quite good. It is not as predictable as some HONK (Harry/Tonks) stories that I have read, and in fact shows some very original thought in the plot and pacing.
I have noticed you have not updated for a while. I hope you haven't gotten depressed over what any of the other reviews have said. The one thing that I try to remember is that this is YOUR fan fiction, and that you have decided to share it with us. We as readers should be grateful for that privilege, and if anyone complains about the spelling, grammar, or style, they shouldn't feel obligated to read the story. There are hundreds of thousands of Harry Potter stories for them to read, and if they can't find one that they like, they are welcome to try and write one and see just how much work it takes.
I hope you do continue the story. I would like to find out what Harry and Tonks have, but then I'm a twin, born on my fathers birthday (two boys), and my youngest son is also born on my birthday.
Now it's too late for the babies to be born on Harry's birthday, but I really think he would be happier with a little boy (first born), and then a cute little girl to spoil and protect.
I wish you well in your writing.
rdgale Report Review
RUBBISH But Amazingly Good ;) Report Review
this is great nice lemon scene Report Review
I still like the story but i have to point this out to you in the last chapter you said that they got a Port Key to go straight to Ragnog's office so that they did not need to tell anyone they were going. But you still had them walk to the office and alert Mrs. Figg who will of course inform Dumbels about them taking Harry throught the floo to Diagon Alley. But like I always say writer knows best. Report Review
This might sound very Hermione for me but if i woke up one day and found out that i could read a 500 and something word book and remember the hole thing in half a hour. I would be pulling every educational book and encyclopedia i could find. Then get a doctorate in something just for the title you know. Or in Harry's case i would read all my old school books and try and find out what books i would need for my other years their and then see if i could sit my N.E.W.T.s early That would be a great gift all in its self. I like the story so far. I'm glad someone is finally doing a Honks story on this site that is my favorite pairing other then Harmony. Keep it up look forward to the rest of the story. Report Review
O.k to start first chapters are always hard for me to review when you think about it the writing would have to be abysmal and a over played or stupid plot of some kind. Thankfully your story is nether one of these things and i look forward to reading the next one. Report Review
PLEASE FINISH THIS STORY I LOVE IT SO MUCH Report Review
I am going to force myself to read the entire story, because I like Honks as a pairing. But the grammer and the wording just comes out all wrong. I find myself hearing a deep southern black man, like the Green Mile. Almost like slaves are portrayed in the movies.
It seems like an interesting read, but really, need to work on your tone. Get a beta. Report Review
cedric james potter
dunno bout another name lol
check my story out please
higgins 10/10 Report Review
Please update soon though its been a while and i am trying my hand at writing.
i am naming my new new story "a werewolves love"Author's Response: CHEERS GLAD U LIKED IT, MY LIFE HAS JUST STARTED TO CARM DOWN AGAIN SO IM WRITING THE NEXT CHAPTER. LET ME KNOW WHEN U START YOUR STORY SO I CAN GIVE IT A READ, DONT WORRY ABOUT SPELLING OR GRAMMER ASLONG AS ITS READABLE AND THE READER USES THEIR IMAGINATION IT WILL BE A GOOD STORY :) Report Review
this is a brillent story. i have had loads of laughs reading it. 10/10Author's Response: CHEERS HOPE U CARRY ON READING :) Report Review
Okay first im sorry to say that i speak Gaelic and the word Coinin is used for rabbit. At least that was the way i learned it. And Second i say Boy/Girl i think it would be fun. James Siruis Potter and Lilly Marie Potter Just a thought that you might have liked great story keep up the great work 10/10 from me. the only bad thing i really have to point out to you is that you use alot of wrong words i don't know it their typo's or not and you are missing alot of words to finish the sentences properly but its still a great peace of writing.Author's Response: CHEERS FOR REVIEWING THE STORY, THANK U FOR THE SUGGESTIONS FOR THE BABYS. NOW ABOUT THE GAELIC TRANSLATION I KNOW I CANT WRITE A ENGLISH SENTENCE TO SAVE MY LIFE LOL BUT IM SORRY TO SAY YOUR WRONG COININ IS LITTLE WOLF AND CONY IS RABBIT AND U CAN CHECK, ITS RIGHT BCOS I STUDIED GAELIC AND OTHER OLD LANGUAGES AND SYMBOLS FOR 6 YEARS, HOPE U CARRY ON READING :) Report Review
i really like ur story that u got going. cant wait for more Report Review
Is english your primary language ? Because it does not seem so. One could think it's the third language you learned and not for a long time I might add.
Also you REALLY need a beta. Report Review
Please hurry up with next chapter Report Review
I love your story! Awsome! I cant wait to see what happenes when Harry goes to see Nym's parents. Keep it coming! Update Soon!
Dirt Rider Report Review
Dear Mr. D. Tonks
At first I wasn't sure whether or not I liked your story but the farther into it I got the more I liked it. Spelling and syntax aside you are doing a great job. It's quite an interesting story and has great potential as far as I can see.You appear to have talent and definitely have a good imagination. If you work a little on grammar it would make following the sense of ther story easier thought I 'm sure you already now that. I'm looing forward to reading more. Report Review
I really luv ya story...it was recommend by a friend and i see she was rite! great story!!! oh and Id like to submit my own names.
Girl/Boy - Tory and Troy
Boy/Boy - Logan and Carlos
Girl/Girl - Jolea and Brianna.
Ive always loved these names hope you'll consider them!!! Plz update soon I would love to no what happens!!! Report Review
Nice chapter, but you should really develop your story a bit. The Harry meets Tonks- they fall in love- he gets an inheritance story is out there quite often.
Furthermore, when did Harry and Tonks fall in love? Was it some kind of love at first sight, because normally people don't meet up after knowing each other for a year, kiss and then there's talk of weddings already. Otherwise, good chapter.
~LadyBlack_Author's Response: LADYBLACK I DONT KNOW WHETHER TO LOVE OR HATE YOU, ONLY JOKING. I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IN THIS CHAPTOR THAT HARRY AND TONKS ARE IN LOVE, BUT KEEP READING AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. I KNOW MY SPELLING AND GRAMMER IS BAD, BUT I'VE SAID BEFORE I'VE GOT DYSLEXIA AND I'M DOING MY BEST. I KNOW IF I HAD A BETA THE STORY'S SPELLING AND GRAMMER WOULD BE BETTER, BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY IF YOU CAN READ IT AND USE YOUR IMAGINATION THE STORY COMES TO LIFE. THANKYOU FOR THE REVIEWS THEY MEAN A LOT TO ME :) Report Review
This seems to be an interesting story line so far, however your grammar and spelling are pretty awful. You might want to look for a beta. Sirius is spelled Sirius, not Serius. Please use you instead of u, because that makes a story a lot easier to read.
And you might want to use more punctiation as well. For instance, instead of â€śHarry Iâ€™m in it with you to the end so tell me pleaseâ€ť Tonks said
say â€śHarry, Iâ€™m in it with you to the end, so tell me pleaseâ€ť, Tonks said.
You have a couple more spelling errors, try running a spell check over your text.
Please use capital letters at the beginning of all sentences.
Otherwise, the story line and plot seem quite interesting and I look foward to reading more. I loved the banner, by the way.
~LadyBlack_ Report Review
i like the story alot so far i was think a scene with tonks parents would be pretty interesting Report Review
great as always!!! keep it up!Author's Response: THANK YOU AND I WILL :) Report Review
Nice story. spelling could use a little work, but then again so could mine. You know that seeing your child disapear for a minute then comeback with your grandchild would most likely be there worst nightmare, unless they where in their twenty or thirtiesAuthor's Response: THANK YOU. THERE WILL BE WORSE NIGHTMARE'S TO COME..OOPS DID I JUST LET SOMTHING SLIP :) Report Review
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