Great so far!
Finish finish finish!!
I love Sirius! Gah!!!
love love love love love!
10/10 Report Review
It was alright.
hard to read as it was a bit cramped, and a few grammar issues and spelling... but its a nice little plot and I like it mostly :D
AHHH!!! I possitoutly (not a word I know but what can you do) love your story! Tis brilliant, and OMG it is just effing hilarious!! 'damn that cake looked yummy, it’s a shame my eyebrows wanted a taste.' HAHA!! That is the best line EVER!!! I freckin love it!! Tis so funny! Well as you know I love your story, ah duh, and I really think you should write more, or else I will do something really bad to you! Ha! Now go, hurry women, write more, FEED MY ADDICTION! Lmao! God I'm crazy! =D! But seriously, write more! =) LilyMarieEvansPotterXx
10/10/10! If I was good with numbers I would see that fraction made no sense. Good thing I suck at maths! Lol! =D! Report Review
hahaha, I love the journal part! It's brilliant, as always. Any guy with a journal is just funny. Anywho, thanks for the dedication! And another good chapter. *giggles* Can't wait for the next thing that you post :)
*runs off* Report Review
Chapter three!! *does happy dance* And a wonderful chapter at that. I love it. It's a tad short for me though :D. But that's coming from someone who could read the first Harry Potter book in one day.
Ah well. Anyway, fantastical job. I can't wait for chapter four. *sits and attempts to wait* Gosh this is getting boring. :D Ya know what's completely and totally kool? I am the first reviewer! *jumps up and down happily*
Lovez ya Jessy! Report Review
i love the end of ella's pov, i mean..poor her..-cough- ;) i noticed more errors..tiny ones..like missing periods. you should make sure you reread carefully before you post or have someone read it for you :) other than that, i liked it. keep at it! Report Review
it was a tad confusing to go from her point of view to sirius' but you made it fit nicely, i think. (: i spotted a couple grammatical errors, commas out of place, etc. but nothing too huge and noticeable. so far the characterization of sirius and james is good and ella seems realistic XD great job. 9/10. Report Review
I love love this chapter!!! Sorry, I'm laughing too hard to write anything else...take that as a compliment...Author's Response: haha, I'm glad you like it :) Report Review
Nicely written, I always loved Marauders' stories. The conversations between the characters are excellent, keep up the good work!Author's Response: Thanks I'm glad you like it :) Report Review
This story is very original and its refreshing from most Marauder Era fics. Ella is an intersting and wonderful character. I'm going to have to tell you to add a bit more detail though.Author's Response: Hey thanks for the review, I'll keep that in mind for the next chapter! Report Review
Hey, it's andromeda from the forums! :)
For chaptered fics, I usually leave one review in the end - I hope you are okay with it :)
First of all, the different P.O.V. thing is totally working, in my opinion. I love how you change the style slightly depending on that, and gives an interesting angle to your story.
Now, to be honest, your characterization of Sirius is a bit cliched, especially the fact that he's a well-known sex-god and that he wants to be an auror. Well, I know, the first one is so tempting, I did it myself in one fic :P And the auror thing seems a bit OOC to me, but that's my personal opinion, I'm sure most people would disagree :) Also, can I say, there's one thing that bothered me quite a bit: no matter how close Sirius was with James's parents, he would never call them "Mom and Dad". Please, try and imagine Harry calling Mrs Weasley "Mom" and you'll see what I mean ;)
I'd like to add that I absolutely loved humor in your story, the use of it seems to be one of your strengths. Nice idea with detentions number competition, and I laughed so hard when Ella imagined Dumbledore with dreadlocks, smoking weed - that was a really original joke :P
All in all, your story is very interesting and cute. May I suggest that you have this beta-read because you have quite a few mistakes (i.e. without is written in one word ;) )Author's Response: Thanks for the review, I already have a beta, *huggles Erica* I can see what you mean about him calling them mom and dad I'll go change that bit. Looking back on it, it does seem a little odd.
I do see how Sirius is coming off a little cliched, but I've always imagined him as a bit of a player. Maybe I'm being a little over the top with it.
I'm glad you liked the humor, i wasn't sure if I'd be good at it seeing as it's my first atempt. Thanks again for the review :D Report Review
This was really nice! Some of it was a bit too cliched for me and I'm not fond of flat-out descriptions of characters. Instead of saying "I have green eyes", you can say that she looked at so-and-so through a pair of emerald eyes and get the point across in a more descriptive and less blunt manner. A couple grammar mistakes, so you might want to try a beta. You're missing a few commas here and there. Other than that, I like where this is going and good luck with it!Author's Response: I already have a beta *huggles Erica* But thanks for pointing it out :) I understand what you mean about being less blunt, I'll take it into consideration :) thanks again! Report Review
WAHHH! I lover it. BWAHAHAHA. I've just eaten and the whole.. food thing has gone to my brain, and bloodstream. You'd think that I just had candy...*jitters*
I love Ella, she's so cute. And Ally, but I'd likely kill her if I was Ella, I dunno why, it's just that I probably would. I'm odd like that. All in all, good chapter and I hope the next one is out soon...*winks*
Oh, and Jess, IAuthor's Response: Haha remind me never to give you candy, though I doubt I would ever gt the chance seeing as you live in america lmao.
I would kill Ally too, though I think i'm more like her, yet shy like Ella. a mix really. Well you've read half of chapter three, and I'm almost done writing it. It'll be up soon! hehe thanks for the review! Report Review
Loved it UPDATE!Author's Response: thanks :) chapter 3 will be up soon Report Review
GREAT!!Author's Response: thanks :) Report Review
ahaha that's funny. I've actually done that before.yeah. Please let me know when the next chapter is up so I can review!Author's Response: It should be up soon, I've already written it, I'm waiting for my one shot to be validated and then I'll submit chapter 3 :) Thanks for the review Report Review
I like this story. I'm glad that Sirius is saying that he has feelings for her because normally the story is that Sirius hates her and she hates Sirius. I also like Sirius's P.O.V. alot. good job!Author's Response: Thanks, I was a little worried I wasn't portraying sirius that well. :) Report Review
Again, it's interesting to see it from both POVs. It's great how Sirius is always thinking about her, but she never really thinks about him unless it's about how arrogant he is...it puts a little twist on things.Author's Response: hehe I'm glad you like it! Things won't be plain sailing for poor old siri! Report Review
Ooh yay Sirius has an adorable little crush ^_^ It seems to be something that's going to be very good, possibly ending up on my favorites list.It's well written, and I like how you wrote from both Ella's and Sirius' POV.Author's Response: oooh wow I'm glad you like it, it should get better ias the chapters go on. I have a few things planned out
:) Chapter three should be up soon!
Thanks for the review! Report Review
i love it. i think ella is easy to relate too because she is shy and goes through embarassing situations. i can't wait until the third chapter! :}Author's Response: Thanks for the review :D I'm happy to hear you think she's easy to relate to, the next chapter will be up soon. Report Review
Awww. I feel bad for her. Alright, so same thing as last time. Just keep it away from clicheness and you'll be okay. The writing is good, though. So keep up your nice work. Author's Response: *looks down at response below* gah I seem really snooty in that response, sorry :) I actually like reviews with criticism they help me loads! thanks for the honest review :D Report Review
Ok, so right now it's a little cliche. It's the whole, hate turns to love thing and Sirius gets the girl in the end and let me guess Ally goes with Remus and Lily with James? Sorry. It's not that it's a bad story, it's actually written really well, it's just that it's been done so many times. Just try to make it unique and your own and it'll be great.Author's Response: Actually Ally doesn't get with Remus and James is already with Lily. It's mainly about Ella and Sirius and how everything pans out between them. Ella's a disaster zone so things won't go smoothly at all! Report Review
Another good chapter. XD I should really write a longer review...but it's four o'clock in the morning...so...yeah. Loved it!Author's Response: YAY, I'm glad you liked it. haha don't worry any size review is good for me :D Report Review
This is a great story that made me smile. Seems good so far!Author's Response: hehe I'm glad it made you smile, thanks for the review Report Review
Poor Ella! There were a couple of grammatical errors but nothing too serious.Author's Response: Thanks for the review :D, once I've got a few more chapters up I may go back and correct it :D Report Review
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