Reading Reviews for Silver Dragons
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by bananasareamazing Silver Dragons

1st June 2013:
This book is a very well written book. I had tears in my eyes for the entire time after Draco gave her the letter. The way you describe everything it's amazing.

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Review #2, by XxImAgInAiReXx Silver Dragons

3rd September 2012:
Well, I don't usually like Dramiones, but this one was somewhat believable.

I like how it wasn't completely out of the blue, how Draco didn't just suddenly say, 'Hey Hermione, guess what? I love you!' and Hermione's like, 'Oh, Draco, I love you too, even though I hated you up until this moment! Let us ride of into the sunset and leave all of our plot holes behind!'

It wasn't like that. It was all explained, and I think it made sense. I don't know about Hermione crying at the end. I know crying would be the right reaction to have, but they weren't close. He did confess that he loved her, but I would think her reaction would be shock.

Just my two cents.

~Elle

Author's Response: I actually plan on doing a re-write for this story, to give it more substance, and a bit more background story for Hermione / Draco to make it more plausible. ... I'm not sure if she would have cried or not, but I think if I had seen an actual dead body of someone I knew, who had left me his last dying words, I'd probably cry. Thanks so much for the review.

Diamond


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Review #3, by Aiedail Silver Dragons

27th August 2012:
Hello, there! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get here, but I am prepared to leave you your requested review now :)

Your main concerns were about whether or not this felt rushed to me as a reader, and to be frank, I would say two things: one, a simple yes, it seems a bit rushed but also, two, it depends on what kind of story you want to tell and what effects you want it to have on a reader as to whether or not you need to do anything different in your sequel.

The plot took so many turns that I was consistently surprised with where it went, which is always pleasurable for me as a reader :) However, I'm unsure as to how the birthday party fits into the rest of the story, besides explaining how Ron and Harry have been absent from her life. I think this could work and you could tie it in a little less tenuously if we saw a bit of the emotional impact this made on her: if Ron and Harry aren't paying her any attention, or not enough, she's going to be tempted to find appreciation or attention somewhere else, and I feel like that's a wonderful opportunity for Draco to worm his way into her sympathies. While reading this, I felt like canon Hermione would probably have scoffed at the letter at first as a horrid joke but may have worried about it after not seeing Draco for a few days or something and then gone off to tell McGonagall.

Because as it is right now, I don't know why Draco means anything to her. It's possible that she's overwhelmed from reading the letter, and that that could explain her immediate reaction, but I don't know what this is going to mean to her later, or what that silver dragon will mean to her in years to come.

So, to be clear about this, the plot does move quickly, but to me, that's okay. A lot can happen in a short amount of time, and I have a clear understanding of how it all happened. But what does feel too rushed to me is the character development, which is always one of the most challenging things for writers who are more plot-oriented, as it seems you might be. What I would do is spend more time "with" Hermione, get to know her, give her a backstory, make Draco matter to her. On the outside, for example, she could be offended that Draco calls her names and taunts her but really, she likes the attention, and perhaps is ashamed of herself for that, but there's something about his jeering that's desperately attractive to a lonely girl. It would help to see some interaction between Draco and Hermione, before the letter I mean, too, because as it is the letter seems to come out of the blue and as a reader I'm fully expecting it to be a hoax with canon Draco in mind.

Here is some advice for your sequel, using this fic as a springboard: if you want to present canon characters as different than how canon characterizes them, that's fine, you just need to let us see how they're different in concrete terms. Part of the beauty of fan fiction is that we can rely on our readers' understanding of the canon world and we don't have to explain every little thing, but that's also, at the same time, a bit of a hardship because if we want to deviate from that canon we have to work twice as hard to convince the reader that we're still portraying realistic or believable versions of those same characters. I think the best way to do this would be to have more exposition--and, what I mean by exposition is what happens in a story besides plot, besides what is actually occurring or happening, like those moments where something reminds Hermione of the way that Draco always would smile after he called her a certain name and how that would make her feel, etc. I would love to see you get inside Hermione's heads, tell us her thoughts right from her brain, and her feelings right from her bones, or skin, or heart, wherever she feels them. Similarly, talking about physical sensation always adds interest and believability to a story and can help you stretch out the plot so it doesn't seem to go too fast.

Other than that, I thought this was interesting and I am really intrigued by some of the plot choices that you made. Dumbledore seemed slightly OOC for me, because I've never known him to be someone who seeks punishment for people's wrongdoing: I feel he's so often been forgiving of the worst people, like Severus, and even Lucius when he let him walk away after nearly shutting down Hogwarts and killing Ginny, as well as voting him out of his position as headmaster and sending an innocent Hagrid to Azkaban. So this is a bit of what I mentioned before: if this is a different version of Dumbles, I would need to see prior evidence of that to believe it wholly :)

I'm interested in what you'll be doing with a sequel--perhaps that can be a chance to tell us what the story really was between Draco and Hermione, and what the silver dragon means to each of them.

I hope this was kind of what you were looking for out of a review, PM me if you still have questions, I'd be happy to talk to you about it further!!

-lily

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review. It has helped tremendously. I plan on doing a re-write, not to edit the whole thing, but to add more that I've always felt was missing. You're insite has helped alot. Again, thank you!

Diamond


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Review #4, by GrangerDanger76 Silver Dragons

22nd August 2012:
This is GrangerDanger76 from the forums with your review (AGAIN :) )

I can't remember EXACTLY what I said, but I'll try my best :)

I really liked how you developed Draco's character even though we never really interacted with him very much. I felt like I knew exactly who Draco was through the letter, so great job on that :)

I also really liked Hermione's character. She had a very nice touch of Canon but still really reflected your own style and voice.

THE PLOT WAS STOMACH WRENTCHING, HEART POUNDING, PULSE RACING, BROW SWEATING, HEAD SHAKING-LY GOOD.

I am not even joking. It was superb. Don't change a thing :)

Sorry about the trouble, hopefully this one works :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I wanted the story to give that feel of urgency, and heart wrentching feel. I am going to add a bit more to give more substance to Hermione / Draco, so I may ask you to just give it a look over when I do. :)

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Review #5, by birdsong Silver Dragons

1st July 2007:
Oh my gosh, I've tears running down my face! I didn't realize it was a suicide letter; I thought Draco was leaving to serve Voldermort. I think your story is the only way Draco could love Hermione. He has been raised just a you described. A very good story!

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