Reading Reviews for Never Mattered
  
27 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Dragonbarf The End

22nd April 2012:
Very Very good story.

Author's Response: Thank you, I appreciate the review

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Review #2, by Miss Black The End

21st August 2009:
so cute i really loved it

Author's Response: Thanks for the compliment and review

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Review #3, by Karkaroff The End

23rd October 2008:
Nice idea and thanks for writing a cool story.

Author's Response: Glad you liked it and thanks for the review.

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Review #4, by DeathEaterKaos The End

9th January 2008:
Before I go into my review I just want you to know where I'm coming from so you don't think I'm being overly mean for no reason. I'm currently finishing my Master's Degree in Education and I have had some training in grading creative writing (though I'll be the first to admit not much.) I'll be airing my grievances if you will on the whole story here in this one review.

While I think your idea is excellent and really original to begin with, the thing that keeps this from being an excellent story is execution. The two biggest gripes I have with this whole story is that the pacing is off, the story is rushed plain and simple. Not that there is anything wrong with that but I think if given the time and fleshed out some more this could be a very good story. The second is more of a direct complaint with the story itself. I have a very hard time believing that Mia has never heard Harry's story (or of Dumbledore for that matter). I mean Dumbledore became the most famous wizard of his generation by just defeating Grindlewald and Harry Potter kills the most evil wizard ever and simply disappears? One would imagine that his story would be shouted from the heavens (much as it was when he 'defeated' Voldemort the first time). There are other things but, as I am new to the world of fan-fiction I don't know if they are intentional or not.

I will say this though, going back to the main idea, it starts off well and then just turns into Remus/Tonks. I think a little more originality in this area would have made it stand out more but as it is now I simply think that you were writing things for Remus/Tonks but just inserting Harry/Mia as the names.

The idea of Voldemort tying his life to another's is interesting but I find your selection of Bill to be rather odd. It could have packed a bigger emotional punch to be someone a lot closer to Harry. As for having his wand dissolve, again an interesting idea because it brings about a lot of the problems later in his life but this is something that suffered in the rush. He could have simply broken it beyond repair in his duel with Voldemort (in a manner similar to how it was broken in the Deathly Hallows) or when trying to get away from the Werewolves guarding the room they were in. Having a magical spell that works indirectly really just seems like a cop out to me.

I would also advise that before you post anything that you give it to a friend to proof read for you. Not just proof read to catch grammatical mistakes but to also ensure that everything flows well and makes sense. There was an instance when they were discussing Bill for the first time and Mia mentions him as her brother instead of uncle. It's the little things that will stand out and detract from your overall quality of writing. Also sentence and word variation are your friend. You simply overuse the word replied, when reading one of the chapters it seemed to be coming every time someone spoke. A solid example of this is in chapter four, the use of the word 'yelled' it may only be five times in one chapter but again variety is your friend in creative writing. I always use the Thesaurus function in Word to change things around if I don’t like the way a sentence sounds or if I find myself using the same word too often.

All in all I would say this is a good first draft but by no means a complete story. Please don't take this as an attack, I'm merely offering you some constructive criticism.

Author's Response: I appreciate the excellent critism, as most I recieve are not thought out. Often, the writers of these reviews do not clearly think out their complaints. I feel I should explain my reasoning for everything, as there is in fact a reason.
This story is very simple. I planned it to be that way as I was writing a mini series versus a novel. This was to be a series to give me a small break when I required one while I was writing another series. This series can be found in two other places, quizilla and here. In both places my pen name is MaskedFire. The series' title is Oliver's Girl. If you read that, it may become clearer why I needed a break and why this story is simple. The series is finished on Quizilla, but is not on harrypotterfanfiction.
I've reason also for the Mia's ignorance to Harry's story. The answer is fairly simple. The Weasleys, both because they were grieving for Bill, and because he requested it, told no one of what occured that night. Also, an explanation is due for why no one else knew. Who was there that night besides the werewolves, Harry, Bill, and Voldemort? If Harry told no one, no one would know.
I can also very clearly why you would see my story as a Remus/Tonks supstitute. I felt it was different due to some situations, but if you disagree, I've no defense for that.
As for the selection of Bill, that was something I've felt later I should give some kind of back story, as I know in my head the story, but my readers do not. In my head, I saw the story simply as being that Bill was chosen as he was a member of the Weasley family, and at the time vulnerable to be taken. I should provide a chapter on that huh? lol
I guess its just your opinion if you think it was a cop out. I felt it was something like Voldemort would do. Sneaky, underhanded, and unexpected seems to be something Voldemort is rather capable of.
I know my variety was not something to be proud of. As I said, this was not a story I made an effort on so much as it was a chance to give my brain a break. That is the only reason I've got for the variety. I wrote this mini series in two days and wrote without putting in any technical effort. I simply posted it under a different pen name.
I appreciate this amazing review as it has allowed me to think in retrospect and quite possibly forsee my next venture. Thank you for the time you took to write it.

~Fire/Amaya


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Review #5, by luvinpadfoot The End

4th January 2008:
Aww! That was so cute! I lovev that everytime someone says the age difference was too big they brought in Tonks/Remus. I do think it was kinda odd that Harry married his ex's daughter. That part kinda creeped me out. But the rest of it was absolutely amazing. 11/10

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. I know the paring can seem kind of odd, but i tried to emphasize that Ginny left him because he abandoned her for safety. As I said, I know the pairing is odd, but I wanted to try something completely new.
Thanks for the review!

~Amaya


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Review #6, by Mille The End

15th November 2007:
First I'd like to say: great story, really like the theme. The "dating the daughter of my ex"- thing is a bit "weird" (not in a negative way though). I like it when the stories are different from the rest. And I think many can relate to the age difference problematic. Age difference matters less and less but at an age of 18 (as myself) many dont like seeing a big age differnce between you and your boy/girlfriend. Mine wasnt as dramatic, only 6 years, but still you got that oh-effect from people. Just wanted to compliment you on your choice of topic :-)

I read the reviews after I'd done reading the story. There was one, a bit negative maybe... Hope you dont too siriously, some people are just bitter and you got so many more readers who loved your story, listen to them instead. And btw in regards to the "Ms. Weasley" I think the reviewer ment the episode where Mia buys icecream. She calls herself Weasley and we get a short description of how the wizarding world sees her family. Just a guess, Im not sure.

Keep writing, Mille.

Author's Response: Thanks for the tip, I'll go look in that section for it.
I'm glad you like the topic. I've got another, techinically more successful, account on here, but people kind of expect topics on that one that aren't quite so 'weird'. So I created a new account I could do anything on. I maintain both, but I like being able to differentiate. As for the weirdness, I tried to figure out, if both Ginny and Hermione were taken, who Harry would really end up with. I realized there wasn't anyone, because most people would be in awe of him, so I figured someone who wouldn't be was someone who wasn't yet born.
I know the age gap is large, but I don't like people thinking its wrong or odd, so I figured I'd write about it anyway. I'm glad you like it, and I'm going to look into that chapter. Thanks a ton!

~Amaya


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Review #7, by Ana The End

15th November 2007:
A really sweet story. I very much enjoyed reading it.

Author's Response: Thanks, glad you liked it.

~AMaya


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Review #8, by love _Conquers_ All The End

14th November 2007:
love it! really touching story!

Author's Response: Glad you liked it, and thanks!

~Amaya


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Review #9, by onceuponatime2 A Terrible Price

23rd October 2007:
well, you had good reviews for this story, so I decided to read it. Unfortunately, the reviews lied. The dialogue is horrible and the story line is hard to follow in some parts. And why is she called Ms. Weasley when you already said that her name was mia malfoy?
In short, this story is inconsistent and kind of boring. If I wanted something to help me fall asleep I would keep reading. But I don't, hope my review goes to good use.
3/10

Author's Response: I can respect your opinion, and I'm sorry you feel that way. Although, I would ask that you may word it that you disagree with the reviews simply because I don't like the idea that my readers are being called liars.
I'm not aware of anywhere I called her 'ms. weasley' so now I'm going to go attempt to find it, and if I do I will recify my mistake. Her name is Mia Malfoy, so I will go see if I can correct the problem if its there.
I respect that you find it boring and inconsistant. This is the first I've heard of it. I do think that where you've written: "If I wanted something to help me fall asleep I would keep reading" is both rude and uncalled for, but I respect your right to critize however you see fit, even if I disagree with your definition of 'fit'. I will try and keep this in mind with any future stories.
Perhaps you'd prefer my one-shot, Addiction, though I doubt you'd even try it. I'm just suggesting, despite that you don't seem interested in further reading. My other account, MaskedFire, has an excellent series on it now you may enjoy. I hope this response will come to good use for you in future critques.
Thank you for the time you put in to create your review. Sorry I wasted mine in having to respond.

~Amaya


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Review #10, by beebsy1219 The End

15th September 2007:
I loved this story... its rele good... needs a sequel... cuz Im always gonna wonder what happens... o well... 10/10

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I was considering a sequel, but I don't know. Its difficult to say, I thought I ended it so I wouldn't leave readers wondering. Sorry I did. Thanks again!

~Amaya


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Review #11, by ihs The End

15th September 2007:
I LOVE it!

Author's Response: Thanks!!! =D

~Amaya


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Review #12, by Rigal The End

15th September 2007:
Great story I really liked it!! ;)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

~AMaya


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Review #13, by Rigal In the Heat of the Moment

15th September 2007:
I like your plot idea, it's interesting, never seen it done.
This chapter was better than the last, but you could improve the characterization a bit
Good work

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I very much appreciate the honesty. I'm glad I'm improving. In future stories I'll try to remember that. Thanks for the review!

~Amaya


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Review #14, by ginnypotternic5 Lucky to Have Him

17th August 2007:
I LOVE THIS STORY!!!

Author's Response: Thanks for the compliement and the review.

~Fire


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Review #15, by beebsy1219 Lucky to Have Him

11th August 2007:
OMG! I love this story so much! Mia is awesome! She and Harry r rele good 4 each other! 10/10! I would give u more but the rating only goes up 2 10! Pleze continue soon cuz this story is so good!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it so much. This is a short story though, so the next chapter is a short one, and it is the end. This story hasn't gotten much publicity, so I'm someone likes it so much. Thanks so much for the review.

Cayla~Fire


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Review #16, by newgirl4ever Lucky to Have Him

11th August 2007:
nice twist i love it keep going
10/10

Author's Response: will do. THanks for the review.

~Amaya


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Review #17, by NicolettaStarr A Doe

28th July 2007:
I really like this, it's good. I hope you'll update soon.

Author's Response: I'm going to be updating tonight, but it will have to be approved.

Cayla~Fire


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Review #18, by ginnypotternic5 A Doe

26th July 2007:
A doe? thats Lily's old patronus! Harry's a dolt. Love the story, update soon.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I wasn't even aware it was. Where did you find that out? Was I just not paying attention to some of the books? Thanks for the review. I won't be updating again until late next week or the following week.

Cayla~Amaya


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Review #19, by irishfighter21 A Doe

18th July 2007:
Great chapter

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.

Cayla~Amaya


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Review #20, by sweet gurl A Doe

17th July 2007:
i really liked it :P
plz update soon

Author's Response: Will do, thanks for the review!

Cayla~Amaya


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Review #21, by sweet gurl In the Heat of the Moment

13th July 2007:
O.o more, soon plz!!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

Cayla~Fire


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Review #22, by ginnypotternic5 In the Heat of the Moment

11th July 2007:
What happened next? What happened next? update soon I need to know!

Author's Response: Will do Thanks for the review~!

Cayla


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Review #23, by Kodah A Terrible Price

11th July 2007:
Very interesting. One of the best I've read lately, and that's a pretty short list. I usually only read Marauder stories, but this one caught my eye. I hope to read more soon.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, and the praise. I'm glad you like it. It's actually complete, I'm just putting it up. See, I had a bunch of ideas buzzing in my head and causing writers block on my series. So, I just got it all out so I could continue. A lot of readers seem to like it. Thanks again for the review!

Cayla~Amaya


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Review #24, by Duchess of Philly A Terrible Price

2nd July 2007:
Oh no! you left us at a cliffhanger!
!!!
lol. but still an awesome chapter, i luv mia's attitude and i was laughin all through it. :)
Post soon.

~i
Faith

Author's Response: thanks for the great review!

Cayla~Amaya


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Review #25, by xoxoilovedraco A Terrible Price

2nd July 2007:
i like it alot :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

Cayla~Amaya


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