It started really good, the imagery, wonderful. I had a very clear picture of the world you had painted. You lost me when he killed Pansy. Too dark and out of character if he couldn't kill DD.Author's Response: I though i need something to prove that he wasn't a complete wuss... and what I chose to do with pansy went with the song.
But thanks a ton for the R&R. Report Review
Whoa, that was amazing. It was incredibly dark and drama-y lol. Great job, very believable and well written. 10-10Author's Response: wicked, thanks! Report Review
Wow! What a great one- shot drama... the best of all... I've ever read. but. Lucius is in Azkaban so why did he... yeah... well, never mind... Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! Lucius escaped... I guess I forgot to add that... Oh well, but thanks for the R&R! Report Review
wasn't bad quite good actually but they way it was written you should of written in third person instead of first it would of flowed betterAuthor's Response: I'm glad you liked it... I thought writing it in first person made it more personal, therefore more err..powerful I guess. But thanks for the suggestion none the less. Thanks for the R&R! Report Review
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