Reading Reviews for The Dark Side of The Phoenix
  
143 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Primrose_Annabeth_Weasley Goodbye

13th November 2013:
Dear Twofighter,
I have just completed your amazing story :') Congratulations it was truely magical.. x

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Review #2, by HPG Goodbye

11th July 2012:
YESH YESH YESH LOVE THIS STORY

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Review #3, by hpg Prologue

8th July 2012:
I'm really confused :/

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Review #4, by vintage90vinyl Goodbye

26th November 2011:
oh my god
i just read this story without even stopping for sleep. It's so sad, my eyes are all puffy now!
I'm already looking forward to the sequel :]

Author's Response: Haha, the fact that you're losing sleep shouldn't make me happy... but it does! :P Thank you so much.

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Review #5, by ms4aisa Goodbye

7th November 2011:
OMG saddest story ever! I'm crying so hard right now, while still laughing about James's stupidity. aww I already miss Sam, I feel so sorry for James, Lily and Sirius.
anyways, AMAZING story. glad there's a sequel... couldn't have lived without one. honestly. loved it. great work. J. K. Rowling-worthy! (L)

Author's Response: Awesome! :D

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Review #6, by SiriusLilyJames6 Goodbye

2nd October 2011:
love your story!!! a sequel sound amamzing! you made me fall in love with your writing!! keep working on it!

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Review #7, by Soph188 Goodbye

29th September 2011:
Oh my goodness! I just finished this WHOLE story! And I absolutely LOVED it!! And I am dying to read your sequel. I really need that happy ending (: Speaking of that...when do you think your going to put it up? And this chapter was amazing...except for the fact that James totally broke her heart by leaving. I guess you will be fixing that in the next chapter...right?;) I am glad Sirius and Lily became good friends too!(: You are an AMAZING writer and i must say this is one of my favorite story's :D

Author's Response: Wow, thank you! :) The sequel is called Defiance, and Lily and Sirius are still friends. ;)

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Review #8, by The Fool on the Hill Goodbye

17th September 2011:
Hey! I just finished this story (it was awesome) and want to know what your lily/ James sequel is called because I reallyreally wanna read it!! But I always feel like I have to commEnt at least once on every story and I really liked yours. Mostly because it was completely different than any other Lily/James i've read! It was great!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :) The sequel's called 'Defiance'. Hope you enjoy it!

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Review #9, by Lilykins My Own Heaven

28th July 2011:
This is the cutest chapter ever! I loved reading it so much! Thank you for adding it in :)

Author's Response: You're welcome. :)

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Review #10, by m Goodbye

30th June 2011:
loved it! Keeo writing this story was so great I love the marauder fanfiction and this one was especially great.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Check out the sequel! ;)

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Review #11, by Jaded94 Goodbye

26th June 2011:
So, I have just sat and read the whole story and I was so sad by the ending! I loved Sam! You know I'm usually quite good at guessing what's going to happen next but I was wrong about the baby bit! I was like expecting it to be Sam like being reborn because of the whole half phoenix thing. In some ways I wish she was reborn but I love the friendship between Sirius and Lily that developed because Sam died. I'm going straight to your page to look for the sequel! :) x

Author's Response: Thank you so much! That's an interesting idea on Sam being reborn. I like that. :P But I guess the baby is just a baby, from her half human side. :D Thanks for reviewing! ;)

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Review #12, by kirstenalanna Prologue

18th June 2011:
Good chapter! I don't know how I didn't know about this story before. There were a few spots where I wasn't sure what was going on-- you can fix that by adding descriptions of the girl under the invisibility cloak.

good job!!

Author's Response: Thank you. Yes, the first chapter is very confusing to a lot of people. :) I'll reread it someday, but I'm more focused on the other stories now, since this one's finished. Thank you for reviewing.

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Review #13, by LauraLongbottom Goodbye

11th June 2011:
OK, OK, OK
GREAT story, very different and well written but uh... Here's something.
JAMES IS AN ARSE!!
Wtf?! Arent those two supposed to be together?!
Will definitely read a sequel!
10/10

Author's Response: James definitely was an arse. But hey, we all have moments we're not so proud of. :p Anyway, he's the good guy again in the sequel. ;) Thanks for your review!

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Review #14, by lilyevansrules Goodbye

10th June 2011:
WOW! This story is so good, I have to be honest I never saw any of this coming. Maybe I'm stupid but seriously I would have never thought of a plot with so many twists. Please Please put the sequel out soon! I want the happy ending even if they so die in the end.

Author's Response: You'll get a happy ending AND a lot of twists in the sequel! ;) It's on its way. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #15, by Sirius Black Dog Goodbye

10th June 2011:
I really enjoyed this, I love how you made Sirius so protective of lily, it was perfect. God James annoyed me in the end but you get that lol. I would love to see Harry find sans grave when he's at school and like ask Sirius and Remus and I don't know something like that would be cool :) thanks for a good read, it was so different and it made it one of those stories you couldn't stop reading until you knew what happened even if you had a small idea. Very awesome :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! In my opinion, I didn't show Sirius' awesome side enough before so it was his time to shine. :) And I hate that JK killed all the marauders! :p Because I like how Harry is always interested in his parents past, but now they're all dead, so that sucks... :) Anyway, thank you for reviewing! ;)

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Review #16, by chapstick Obligation or Free Will?

9th June 2011:
Okay, prepare yourself, because I'm about to rip you to shreds.

This story is re-edited? Really? There are spelling and grammar errors in every second paragraph and that's not including the debatable ones according to country of origin. Many of the sentences simply don't make sense - particularly the dialogue with Sam and Tess about Tess' attempts to get into the Marauders' clique. It's not atrocious to the point of being unrecognisable - but I am intrigued as to why you've gotten so many reviews on this story when parts just don't fit together.

I don't quite understand what Sam's role is in all of this - if she's there to help Dumbledore, why is she attending classes with Lily? Why did she challenge Dumbledore's authority in such a way when the Heads were meeting with him? If she's been in correspondence with Dumbledore during the holidays then surely they'd both be on the same wavelength with most issues... my point is, would they not have already discussed the exclusion of Hogsmeade and come to a conclusion in private, then passed it on to Lily and James from there?

And Lily and James themselves! Individually, I like their characters - more so James, because he's actually grown up a little and expresses himself in more mature manners than JK's visualisation from Snape's memories. But their interaction just doesn't work. Lily's 'rambling' was less than two lines long. James got angry over nothing. Lily got defensive over nothing. And once they re-located to the couch everything's fine again! What?! Gah!

I understand that reading this would not be easy - to be honest, I'm the sort of reviewer that I, as a writer, would dread to hear from. But at least I'm telling you what I didn't like and why rather than winging you a quick PM to say you fail at life or something.

If you have any further questions, or feel the need to retaliate, go for it. I'm prepared to receive equally as harshly as I dish out.

And, if your pride allows it, I'd be willing to go through your chapters (in time, of course - I'm heading interstate on Sunday evening) and personally re-vamp each of them. The story itself seems worth pursuing (as a reader at least. As it's completed, any pursuit on your part would be damn near pointless).

Okay, I'm done.

-Chanelle.

Author's Response: Okay, first and foremost: Your review is not really as harsh as you think it is. Basically, you don't get the characters' personalities and therefore their actions seem random to you. I guess, according to you, I didn't explain it enough, but I like how their actions tell the reader who they are. I don't want to have to spell it all out for you. You just have to use your imagination to make your own image of Lily, James and Sam.
As for the bad spelling, I'm sorry. I never thought I was perfect on that department, because English isn't my mother tongue. I just like the language, and (despite your criticism) I'm pretty good at it (like I said, not perfect). Anyway, it seems to me that my writing skills are sufficient enough for most readers to understand the story, so your review didn't really ruin my day.
I would love to have someone to help me improve the story and its readability, but I don't know if I want you 're-vamping' it when you don't even like or understand the characters. :S
One last thing: Criticism doesn't necessarily have to be harsh. Like I said, what you're really saying doesn't hurt my feelings. It's HOW you're saying it that makes you sound like a frustrated person taking it out on my story. I mean: 'if your pride allows it' , 'rip you to shreds'... You probably don't care if people like you or not but most readers, who, unlike me, take this site and their posted stories quite personal, would be really hurt by your review, and that's just unnecessary... :)
Still thank you for reviewing.


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Review #17, by Cam Goodbye

2nd June 2011:
Hey I just want to know. Who's baby was it after all? Sam and??not James right?

Btw suggestion, bros over hoes. Meaning Sirius would never turn on James like that. Even if he agreed with liky he would talk to James instead of just ignoring him. He is still allowed to support lily though

Nice story

Author's Response: It's Sam's, and the father is the guy who raped her (a death eater, whom she killed out of revenge). And I know Sirius would never turn on James like that, but I liked how it would make Lily feel so much better! :D It's not like they won't make up in the future and become best friends all over again. I just needed him and Lily to get really good friends for my sequel! ;)

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Review #18, by Tazzy1029 Goodbye

2nd June 2011:
I read the whole of this story yesterday, and had turned off my laptop before I remembered to review. Personally at the beggining I wasn't so sure because I dont really read fics where either Lily or James have another brother or sister. I think that you wrote it well and I did like your storyline. The second chapter was slightly confusing but im happy to say it got better after that. At first I didnt like the character of Sam but I think I grew to like her. I really liked the way you put little hints in, it shows that you thought about what would happen in the future, like the little bit about the open window. To be perfectly honest I didn't like how you ended the story, but I guess that's because I think it's unfinished so that means that you have to write a sequel like NOW!!! :)
I don't understand why James is blocking Lily out of his life at the end, could you maybe explain this.
I also like your sirius at the end to, but I think that he would have spent a bit of time with James as well as with Lily, because he is after all James best friend. Anyhoo I do hope that you write a sequel with an actual happy ending because I like this story and don't want to see it unfinished :)

Author's Response: Thank you for the thorough review! Love those! :P I mostly don't like the stories where James has a sibling either. Haha. But I knew she was perfect for Sirius. :) Why James broke up with Lily IS a mystery, isn't it? He'll regret it soon enough, but people do weird things when they are mourning (as I think I've shown throughout the story? :D). I'm still working on how he actually will put his explanation into words in the sequel, but I already have some chapters with awkward run-ins, so I'm going to put it up soon. Hope you'll like it! ;)

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Review #19, by Lilyandjamesbelongtogether Goodbye

1st June 2011:
What is the title of the sequel and is it updated. U r a wonderful writer. Can't wait to read your need one.

Author's Response: It's called Defiance, and I still have to put it up but it's coming soon. Keep an eye out for it! ;) Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #20, by Rayne Goodbye

1st June 2011:
In all honesty, I dislike your story. It's hard to follow, full of run-on sentences, and it doesn't seem thought out. It was so far off the original story line that I just; I don't know. From the beginning, I had trouble following. However, I do appreciate your time and effort and I'm sure that there are many people who truly enjoyed your story.

Author's Response: First and foremost, thank you for your honesty. I appreciate that you still reviewed even though you didn't like it. :) I understand why you say this, although the entire plot was planned from the beginning, I have difficulty clearly structuring the little things in the story. I am too much of a 'stream of thoughts' writer, if you know what I mean. I have the entire story inside my head (and so much more details) so to me some things are obvious because I know what happened in the past and what will happen in the future, and it is difficult to give just enough information to the readers for them to understand. That's why I want my readers to tell me if they don't understand things ;) I'm not perfect, and certainly not as a writer! I know that. :P

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Review #21, by Rayne Potter?

31st May 2011:
Two spelling errors (That I can remember), Wrapping has a w. Rapping and Wrapping are not the same thing. Furry has two r's. There are a few places that need commas, but other than that, it's great!
I give you a strong 8/10!

Author's Response: Thank you for telling me (and for leaving me a nice review of course)! I'll fix them as soon as possible! :)

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Review #22, by mef_hplvr Goodbye

31st May 2011:
I can't believe James.. Leaving her like that.. horrible. Anyway Great Chapter! Update soon!

p.s. Sirius made the chapter better! :)

Author's Response: Sirius is definitely the best character ever invented! :P But ehm, this was actually the last chapter, not sure whether you realised? :S I'm sorry if you didn't like the ending, but there will be a sequel WITH a happy ending. ;) Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #23, by mef_hplvr The Baby

22nd May 2011:
Can't wait to read more! update soon please!

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Review #24, by Katherine Longbottom Misinterpretations

14th May 2011:
I love this story so!

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Review #25, by latenightreader The Rain

11th May 2011:
extremely interesting plotline...luv it! its so intriguing...therfore plz update soon!!!

Author's Response: Thank you. I finished the story so the chapters just need to be validated. :)

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