Reading Reviews for Plot Line attacks
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ChizzaLazty Dreaded Plot Bunnies

5th June 2007:
I like to start with the... things that could use improvement :) First of all, you wander from tense to tense, past and present. You should choose one and stick to it, because sometimes it can be confusing when you're reading something in the past and suddenly it's in present tense, and you wonder whether the time changes too.

Another thing is that there are three "I sigh"-lines. It's not all that important, but it's just one of those things you (or at least I) notice, and I'd rather the second time you wrote "I sighed again", or change it entirely. At least the last time.

On a happier note, I really liked it. All those stuff I said are just details, but I really liked the story itself. I could really relate to it, which I bet many on here can :p I think that because of that, it's a brilliant fic to write. I mean, it's a brilliant fic to write for your readers, if you know what I mean. Like, right now, I should be writing my KH-report which is due tomorrow, but am I doing that? No, because HPFF is calling me!... :p I'm as messed up as she is!... He he.

And then there's one thing I didn't understand. You said something about Auror-school, and I thought she was already there. But you also wrote that she went down to the Great Hall and up to the common-rooms, but I figured there could be those things in that school too. But then McGonagall showed up, and I started wondering. Has she only decided to go to Auror-school, but hasn't started yet? Hmm... I couldn't quite figure that out...

I think there's quite a lot of repeating in this fic, but it didn't take over, and for some reason it didn't bother me. What I mean is that the repeating fit, it was probably the best way to do it. When I'm talking about repeating I'm talking about the description of the plot bunnies and the fact that she dropped out of reality just the same all the time, but what I mean is that when that's what really happens, then it's okay to write it that way because... well, it's that way it happens. If you know what I mean. Had you written five thousand words with just the same stuff, it'd be boring, but I think the length was very good.

Again, I really liked it. What I liked most was the way it described so well the well-known problem of bunny-attacks at all hours, and the avoiding of homework because of it. You wrote that brilliantly, I think, describing it very well. So all in all, good job! Good luck with whatever you're planning on writing/writing at the moment.


Author's Response: Wow i think thats (it is) the longest ever review i've had and its wonderful,LOL. :D
Right get down to answering the review.
First thing I've always had a problem with tenses, i can never seem to get it right. So I'm sorry about that.
About the sighing, well it's something i do alot, LOL. i do sigh alot but if it will bother my readers then i dont want that so I'll happyily change it.
The whole challenge was supposed to be about our (my) writing style, and that is how i write my fics, so i suppose most of it was based on me which makes it true which makes it easier to relate to by others (if that makes sense.)
No no the Auror school was her plans for the future, havent i made it clear enough, should i make it more clear? The fic's supposed to be based in Hogwarts, as she's doing her NEWT's and Auror training was her future plans. (do u still not get it?)
LOL i know what you mean about the repeating and it is usually what happens so I'm sure even if it is repeated its the way it works (if that makes sense at all.)
Thank you alot for reviewing and for being offically the first to write me such a long review and recieving the longest reply from me :)
Glad you liked it all in all, even with its little errors. :D And thanks for wishing me luck with what i am currently writing. (Incase you're interested I'm working on my fic An Auror's Life, while I'm supposed to be revising for my A-Levels.)

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Review #2, by jemma341 Dreaded Plot Bunnies

4th June 2007:
You describe the feeling of longing very well at the beginning of the story. The way that you describe the feeling when you have a plot bunny in your head is very acurate, also the disapointment of when you lose a plot.

Good marks for originality! I haven't seen this before, thats for sure! You describe Lily's emotions well, though it seemed as though you could have expanded the story a little.

Very well written and as you haven't got any reviews on this story, I thought that I would be the first!! :) x x

Author's Response: I described it well because that's what actually happens to me, LOL.
Thank you for being the first to review, i only put it up a few hours ago :) so yeh its really nice of you.
Well it was a one shot for a challenge so i didnt want it to go on forever, but I'm glad you liked it and thanks alot for reviewing. :D

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Review #3, by caryjanecarter Dreaded Plot Bunnies

4th June 2007:
So, it's Lily now, is it? I guess it was safer than guessing at Alice's last name.

~ Caroline (with a wink)

Author's Response: Yeh i played it safe, LOL.
Thanks for reviewing, my excellent Beta not only Beta's but reviews *Huggles* Your just too wonderful :P

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