Well, first of all, i'm a bit confused...are they in their second year and ENGAGED? ok, i'm nt being mean or harsh or critical or anything but please, could they be atleast in their sixth year of something? because engaged at ELEVEN seems a bit ... er. (i hope you get what i'm trying to say :D)
the gud part: wat i felt for the first time after reading your story was the creative flo of language...i think you'd hv definitely got an A atleast in ur arts project :) plus, the story linne is really gud, it just needs a little bit of brushing up...
and oh, i loved wen draco felt sad wen tati's great-aunt hugged her...serves him right :)
and do i see romance brewing between hayden and tati? :)
also loved the portion where tati tells pansy so call her "tatyana" lol
and about the lack of revews, don't worry, i'm wid you in ur heartbreak...my story had 130 reads and eight reviews ( ...only imagine if every reader had reviewed...*lost in pleasant dreams*.but i hope my REALLY LONG REVIEW makes up for it :)
i'll be checking for your reply so please reply soon!Author's Response: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LENGTHLY REVIEW.
i totally get what u were saying with the eleven and engaged. but think of it this way. the way i thought it out was that back in the elizabethan times people were getting married at 14 right? ok, now go farther, on, royalty was still getting engaged pretty young, as well as the nobles. so, if the purbloods think they are better than everyone = nobles (?) plus they are all about upholding tradition. old fashioned as it were, so i can almost see it happening (with the streach of the imagination) it's only going to be a peace of paper, but still.
thank you for the good parts, when i wrote the prolouge i wanted something a bit mysterious, and annonomous, so it made it more dark and stuff. it was also about the whole movement of the peace.
for the pansy and draco part, i know, tatyana is forming in ways i didn't think i would take her
for hayden and tati? no, i don't think so. srry, they might try it (now that u put that idea in my head) but basically they're good friends. with hayden it's either going one of 2 ways, he's either gay (which i kinda hate to do to him, poor boy that would be a hard life) or he falls for serena... i think i named her (excuse me, i still have to look back on previous chapters to see what i named people.)
thanks for the review and i hope that this response helps. bye Report Review
Don't be heartbroken Kyla, I'm always here. Always, isn't that great! =)Author's Response: oh god. i'm scared. Report Review
Ahhh! you haven't written this story for ages! Please post this one next!! =)Author's Response: i no, i no. i'm working on it. it's just... nothings coming. this one will be next... (unless it's this one shot of fred and angelina at the yule ball but...) Report Review
awesome can't wait for the next chapterAuthor's Response: thank u. I'm about 1/4 th a way through the next chapter Report Review
ooo...California! i wish i could go there. i live in Texas; not very excitting things happen in Texas (that i participate in). my parent's have been to California several times but me, i've only been to Ireland and other crappy states; though next year i'll be going to Athens, Greece! lol. well/ good luck with tollerating the anxiety about "the book". i hope you enjoy it- i have!Author's Response: Ireland? GREECE? lucky, i've been to the bahamas and that's it. Next time, please tell me how u thought the story was. lol, i'm pretty sure that if u read to chapter 2 u like it Report Review
hey its me gain. i think this is the best chpater so far u did a completely awesome job. i am really serious. this chapter was completely perfect. keep up the good work.
byeAuthor's Response: thank u so so much. i have to read it again and find out what made it so great. i remember working really hard on it, it didn't come as easily as the others did. chapter 3 is still in the sketchboard stages. i might have to start all over, i don't nessacarily like what i have now (on chapter 3) Report Review
wow I luv this story! Can't wait for you to update!Author's Response: thank u. i love it when someone new comes in and gives positive reviews Report Review
i think its strange they accepted this story because in terms of service they say theres a "Fine line between predestined marriages and engagement" or some weird stuff like that. Takes all the fun out of being imaginative. but..well they accepted it.
that was good!
i was almost expecting Serena to not get Slytherin, it seemed like thats what you were building up tp, but nope, she got her house.Author's Response: i don't know. they accepted it i guess. what they might not do is accept the final contract, which will be done over winter break Report Review
This made me laugh at the part with Draco.
Her new friend Serena is a pretty interesting character.Author's Response: yeh, i really like serena. at first her name was going to be speranza, which is another italian name, but i changed it. i am trying to make draco... believable. it's kind of cute. Report Review
yeah um, could she fly without a broom?
i was under the impression her parents and her were flying on brooms, but i wasn't sure.Author's Response: flying without a broom was her show of majic... like the aciddents that happened to harry. her parents renounced magic, and that's why they didn't tell her that she was a witch, and so they were in a private jet. Report Review
Its good enough for me to read the next chapter.Author's Response: thank u. is there anything i can do to make it tip top? Report Review
Your Jedi mind tricks have no power over me. Author's Response: obvoiusly they do, or else u wouldn't have reviewed. it was all the jedi mind tricks. jk lol. next time, tell me what u think of the story! ;) Report Review
im still interested, so that means its good! i LOVE draco. it's a little weird that they're already thinking about boyfreinds/girlfirends and they're only 11 and 12 but i guess thats how you want it? lol. update soon?Author's Response: well, with arranged marriage, in the olden days, they had it within months of birth. the parents were already thinking about this important descision. it's not like they'll really DO anything this young, it's just that they're aware of their future at a realy young age. Report Review
i cant wait until she gets to hogwarts! thanks for the update!Author's Response: i know. it's where the story realy starts. i just had to have all this backround info. first prolouge, had to show how her parents death is going to affect HER life. the second because of later plots in the story Report Review
hmmm, very interesting. very dark. kinda mysterious. good start! :)Author's Response: thanx, i alwayd love to hear that someone new loves the story. it's really nice! :) Report Review
Well, this chapter was really good. I thought it was cool that you made Draco sound like a god, I mean, we all know he is but... haha. can't wait to read more!!!Author's Response: lol. thanx. i wanted to make it from the view of a girl who didn't hate him... from the pureblood point of view. i'll update soon. Report Review
hey its me.
its pretty good so far. but u might want to double check ur spelling and i thought it was a little awkward in some places. anyway can't wait for the next chapter. i love the draco part lol make him really evil okay. and don't worry ill tell u all about the book hehehe. i can be so mean sometimes. jk. by the way i was wondering if u researched those names or did u make itup hm.
ur loyal fanAuthor's Response: i looked up the names and their orgins. i'll ask u what parts were akward, but bescides that thanx for readin and reviewin. it really means alot! :) Report Review
Well, it's a very good story! i liked the detail about her hair the best and, on a personal note, I think you should update more often. i didn't update my are you happy? story for a year and a half, but im glad i did! and id be glad if you did too! =]Author's Response: i have a chapter in and I was thinking that i won't do the once a month thing anyways. The hair was a way to show how starved she was for her parents attention and how she was being pratical about her parents suicide, even though she was hurting! Thanx for the review. it really means alot that I have support in this story! Report Review
well, i actually really liked this story! it's got a good edge to it, and it's not like anything i've ever read! well done! and i look forward to reading the next chapter!Author's Response: thank u, it's always nice to hear input, especially so to hear good input. I'm glad it's different, i don't want to bore anybody! :) Report Review
Ha Ha, I got honors math also!!
Great second part. Can you guess who I am, if you can't you aren't worthy to be in my presence ever again.Author's Response: at first i was like oh, it's probobly ellen cause u were the only person I could thinkl of that i would know that would read it and write like that. then I looked at u're screen name. lol, i'm pretty thick. good thing I have my writing! Report Review
You've angered me. No you shall suffer. Ok maybe not really, but don't worry, I'll think of something. Muahahahaha. Oh yeah, great story!Author's Response: hey ellen, imaginative screen name. really. I'm glad u like it cause u wouldn't actually lie to me so it means its actually good (right?) lol. why am I going to suffer exactly? Report Review
hey kyla its me,
i love this chapter. u did a great job introducing the character into the world of magic. anyway i am so happy u updated this story is turning out really good. and i have a feeling that she might become interested in dravo and hopefully vice-versa right. anyway great story. im writing my own story right now its a founders one im making the prologue now ill email u when its validated and everything k bye.
c ya laterAuthor's Response: hey, that's great. But can u stop typing my name on these things. I realize that it's adressed to me and if my dad sees that my name is on the internet he'll freak. SO DON"T DO THAT. Besides that, thank u for u're input and I can't wait to read u're story. Report Review
So, firstly, congrats on all your high school stuff.
Secondly, I really like it. I think it's started well, and it's new. Tatyana sounds like a pretty funky character.
A couple of questions though:
How can she fly? Like, does she just jump or something, and she doesn't come back down?
Surely if she could fly, she'd have worked out something was going down?
And at the beginning of chapter one, did you say her parents were flying, cause that too would indicate she must know something was going on.
Anyway, I like it. Update soon. xAuthor's Response: Ok, first of all, thank u for reviewing. I love that people are taking a positive outlook on this story. The flying's are 2 different flyings. When I said flying for the parents I meant in their private helacopter. I should have been more clear. When she flys she just consentrates on being lifted up and then she is flying. Since them going away is a fairley common experience she thinks that it's just like the other times. Since she's seven she doesn't think that flying is really weird persay. Thanx for being interested enough to ask questions though. Report Review
Hella tight story so far. I like it. I'll check for new posts.Author's Response: thank u so much. I love it that people enjoy my work. I put in part 2 and am just waiting to get it validated. about another 5 days, if they accept it*giggle* Report Review
wow! this story is really good! is there any more? You should definitely expand on it. Wow!Author's Response: thank u, your rreview really means alot. Report Review
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