Yeah, it would have been better if Rowling had let Ginny be more a part of the trio during their hunt. At the very least they could have told her the truth about everything instead of shutting her out. I like your version. It is definitely plausible. Thanks for a good story. Report Review
this was really sweet!! 9/10 Report Review
I thought this was a cool idea and thanks for writing. Report Review
very good. I really think that this is an awesome fan fic!!! :) :) :)
-SheaAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for reading this, Shea, and for leaving a review of course. I'm glad you liked it! I've always enjoyed writing Harry and Ginny.
-Anne Report Review
This is so beautiful. If I wasn't a guy then I would be crying right now. It is possibly (in my opinion of course) one of the best one-shots I have ever read. I'm loving the banner too. It is fitting to the story. It's a 10/10. i'm adding it to my favorites to. Keep up the wonderful writing =]Author's Response: Thank you for the compliment on my writing. I'm very glad you liked this story and you found that the emotions were realistic enough. I'm glad you liked the banner too - I like making graphics. :)
Thanks for reading and leaving a review! Report Review
I really, really liked this. I had to go back and check, I see you've updated it since DH came out. If you had the part about Dumbledore's Army in it prior then that's just uncanny, lol.
Truly excellent!Author's Response:
lol. No, I didn't update the fic itself - I just re-created a space between two paragraphs (parts in italics tend to erase the space between them and the next paragraph - I don't know why.*shrugs*). I had the part about DA before, as the friend I dedicated this fic to and I have always believed that Ginny and Neville would re-create DA... and they did!
If I had edited the fic so it would be more canon, post DH, I would have added a "spoiler" warning. ;)
I'm glad you liked this fic. Thank you for reading and leaving a review.
First, I wanted to say sorry for taking so long to review... But now that I am reviewing, let's start with the CC.
The beginning, about Harry, was very confusing. I didn't quite understand what was happening and what was memories. Also, you jumped a lot from one thing to the other, and I felt like nothing was really finished before the next thing started.
The next part of the story, where you told from Ginny's POV, I thought was too long. It ruined some of the suspense, you know, I was waiting for something to happen, but it never came. At least not in a while. I don't think you need to tell the whole tale, you could for example just jump from the first time at the station, to Cho for a little bit, to the common room kiss.
There was one thing I wanted to say was really good, and that was the part about the common room kiss, and how Cho hadn't meant more to Harry than Dean had to Ginny, etc. I loved that paragraph, so romantic!
When the action finally came, I absolutely loved it. Harry and Ginny, both of them were very in character, although the understanding-thing was perhaps a bit overdone. Maybe you could've toned that down a bit to make it seem more believeable? Also, I felt there was a lot of "And then Harry explained this, and then Harry explained that". I don't know how you could've done it differently, but it just made the text feel a bit chopped up, disrupted the flow in a way.
Except for what I said about the text in Ginny's POV, I thought the length was good. I think you added as much description as was neccesary without drowning in it, so well done!
I haven't read all that many post-HBP-stories, but I have read some. Personally I don't like them very much, but in spite of that I thought this one was very sweet, a bit tragic, realistic according to the books and just overall a very good fic.
Oh, and you spelling and grammar: Wonderful. Lovely. It was nice not having to get annoyed over numerous spelling mistakes!
Last but not least I'd like to say good luck with your writing, you're done a very good job with this one!
ChristinaAuthor's Response: The beginning about Harry... He's remembering a few things, and imagining some others (in italics). I'm sorry if it was confusing for you. I must admit you're the first who's ever told me it was, so I didn't think it could be for some readers. Hm...
As for Ginny, she's remembering... and imagining things too. I planned no real action in those two parts. Just... thoughts. To show their feelings and what they dreaded the most.
The understanding thing now - I guess you're talking about Ginny understanding why Harry had to break up with her? Toning it down would have made Ginny less the gutsy and smart woman I think she is, in my opinion. But it's just my opinion. Anyway, it explains why I did it so.
The flow... Hm, again, you're the first to mention it. To say it was a bit chopped up. I guess it's due to the fact that Harry and Ginny are having a conversation while sitting on a bench, not doing anything but talking... I'm much more comfortable now writing real action scenes. lol.
I'm glad you liked this fic anyway. As for the spelling and grammar, I'm doing my best. But I must admit there are generally a couple of typos/chapter (I say typos, because I can spell, but I couldn't type to save my life!)... If this one was typo-free, it's thanks to PureBlood_Muggle, who read it over and pointed them to me. She did a great job. :D
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
1) Organization and Spacing: The one-shot was spaced very well, with no gaps or anything at all.(2/2)
2) Paragraphs and pacing: The pacing of the story was just the right amount, and I especially liked the fact that you portrayed Ginny's emotions when Harry wasn't there. The paragraphs most of the time were just the right length, although a couple times they seemed a little short.(2/2)
3) Length: A nice length, not to short but not exactly too long, either (2/2)
4) Grammer and Spelling: The only thing that I really noticed what this:
'Potter who had, when merely a toddler himself, defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named when he was a toddler.' I don't think you ment to put the part about being a toddler in there twice. The grammer as whole was very good and I didn't find any spelling mistakes. (1/2)
5) Characterization and Writing Style: I must give you the greatest kudos because you actually portrayed Harry very well! So many stories with alot of Harry in them are very cliched and very poorly written and yours was neither. I do admit that alot of people do write Harry and Ginny getting back together but yours had a special something extra.
Your writing style seems to be the style that many take so it didn't really pop out to me or anything, but it isn't bad. I can't exactly comment on it because I didn't notice it to much.(2/2)
General Comments: I don't have to much to say here, other than while I did enjoy your story and it was very well written and descriptive, it didn't exactly stick out to me. The story itself seemed a little...well, not bland because it had plenty of emotion and feeling, but not different. That's it. I don't know if I'd be able to pick it out of a line up of stories. Also, I'm not much fond of the title, but I really don't have any say about that now do I?
I hope I gave you a good reveiw that will help you with your writing!
P.S. Your total is 9/10! Great job!Author's Response: 1) Like I said, I'm a nit-picker, so I found a way to avoid the spacing problems most authors seem to have around the site. ;)
2) This story is as much from Ginny's point of view as from Harry's. And I think I'm not that bad at writing emotions. And I do like writing Ginny.
4) You're the first to point that out to me. I'll have to correct that part, of course. Thanks!
5) I know lots of people find Harry hard to write, but I like it. For the same reason that I like writing Ginny - I just love those characters. I'm glad you liked reading "my" Harry. :D
I didn't write this story so it would stick out, to be honest - I know I should have, because it was my submission to the Writer's Duel, but I just wanted to write THIS story, if that makes any sense. I really tried to write it in a realistic way.
As for the title. I suck at titles, really. But I like this one, probably because it took me hours to find it. LOL.
Thanks a lot for reading and leaving a review. :D Report Review
You really captured it all. The emotions of love, uncertainty, hope, depair-- all there dear.
This was beautiful-- and it is truly Ginny to go to Hary like that. Poor Harry in love, but afraid of what could happen. Isn't the emotion that Tom lacks?
I love it, and I'm glad you wrote this.
Huggles ~juls. (babbling like a fish again.)Author's Response: Thank you for the compliment, dear. I did try to capture all the emotions. And at first, I tried to remember what it was to be 17... But 17 or 30 something is not that different, when one is talking about love and all the emotions that go with it. Does maturity make all this easier???
Oh, yes, Tom is unable to love - and he's going to pay it dearly (with his life, I hope).
Thank you for the review. You were not babbling like a fish! I always love your reviews. :)
~Anne Report Review
It's Carrie from the Got Fanfic? team!
I really enjoyed this! I don't hand out praise unless it's deserved, and you my dear deserve it! This was brilliant and well thought out. A bit of C/C, though.
"Oh, pleeease..." In that line, the 'please' should just be italicized. It works out find that way. ;) Also, would Ginny say 'Voldemort'? Those are my only points of critisism.
You should think about a sequel; good luck.
CarrieAuthor's Response: Hi Carrie!
Wow, thank you. *blushes* I'm glad you enjoyed reading this fic.
Now about your CC... You are right about itilicizing the word "please". I will. As for Ginny, yes, I think that she would say "Voldemort". The way I read her, she's gutsy, and if Harry (and Hermione and Ron) can say it, she can do it too. And in this scene, she's trying to show her love that she wants to and can help him defeat Voldemort.
Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing. :) Report Review
This is really good honestly. One of the best Harry/Ginny post HBP romances I've read and I really think you have a lot of DH figured out.
The locket being last. That's right off the bool cover. I like the idea about Ginny being the DA leader and the use of Fawkes and I especially like the end. Everything about this fic seems about right.
However, I think I know why you didn't manage a few more votes. There were just to many fics to read in the duel so I and I'm sure others decided wheather they were really good by judging the first two paragraphs and unfortuantely in your case the first two paragraphs are a bit awkwardly worded.
"at least one last time" The 'at least' throw off the rythmn of the sentence and is unneeded. One last time is better.
"and the girl had told him." Better 'she had told him'. Harry is rarely conscious that Hermione is a girl, except when forced upon him or she is in a really pretty dress. He notices this about Cho and Ginny of course and to a lesser extent Luna. But it sounds awkward here.
But I tell you again. I really, really like this, Anne. This is one of your fics that is goinig in my favorites.
A ten of course.
I'm sorry I didn't really read the fics involved in the writers duel much.
Author's Response: Wow, thanks! I wrote in this fic everything I would like to read in DH. Harry and Ginny talking and knowing they truly love each other - it's very important, in my opinion, since one of them could die. (I don't think either will, though) Ginny is gutsy and strong, and if she doesn't take part in the Horcrux search, I think she should have an active role all the same, and I could see her reforming the DA, and each of them bringing in their own abilities and training together.
As for Fawkes taking an active part in the story... I must admit this idea has been stuck into my head since I read sagesolon's fic. Now I can't imagine Harry and Ginny staying in touch without the help of a phoenix... *rolleyes* LOL.
About the locket being last, I didn't think about the book cover. hehe. In fact, I was tempted to write a fic in response to challenge 2 - the last Horcrux. And that's what I would have written, the locket being the last one Harry would have destroyed, because it was "responsible" for Dumbledore's death.
Thanks for your CC! I knew I wouldn't win - I entered for the fun of it, that's all. Awkwardly wording some sentences... haha, well, I guess that if I had not done that (as in all my fics), two of my friends wouldn't have recognized my unique style.
I'm glad you liked it and you thought everything seemed about right in this fic. That was what I intended to do, after all. Thanks for reading and leaving a review! :) Report Review
Good oneshot, I can actually see this in DH. I always thought that, canonically, Ginny would reform the DA.
-Graywand.Author's Response: I can see this happening too... And I know Ginny has the will and strength to reform the DA, but I've noticed that JKR tends not to develop her character as much as she should. I mean, do we know who is Ginny's best friend. Not Hermione, since she is a member of the Trio and doesn't hang with Ginny a lot. Not Luna either, because it's obvious she's just a friend... So if Harry doesn't go back to Hogwarts, will we hear about Ginny in DH?
Thanks for reading and leaving a review. :) Report Review
This is a really enjoyable story! I hope (and believe) that Harry and Ginny will get together again in the last book. You say your aim was to make this realistic and still magic and I believe that you did succeed :)
You managed to keep all the characters in character very well! I enjoyed the romantic in this and the hopefullness. It was very realistic in the beginning that both of them were dreading and imagining what would happend when they meet. I'm imagining coming situations all the time.
A funny thing was that you, like me, included some gnomes in the story in passing and I remember someone else did that too in the duel. It must be that gnomes are so closely associated with the burrow.
Anyway, this was very lovely, romantic, enjoyable and well written!
-AnninaAuthor's Response: Thank you! I do hope too that Harry and Ginny will get together again in the last book. Whatever Harry may think, Ginny's life is in danger, just because they dated, and because of who she is. And he forgets about the diary episode, I think.
Since I want them to get together again... I had to write a hopeful story. lol. As for how imagining and dreading what could happen, we've seen Harry doing this many times.
I guess you're right. None of us can imagine the Burrow without some gnomes. hehe.
Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing.
~Anne Report Review
Wonderful job Anne! First I just want to say congratulations for entering the Duel, I know I don't have to guts to lol, glad to see you did because you are an amazing writer! I think this is amazingly realistic. You've captured Ginny's fiery yet intelligent manner and Harry's rash decision making when it comes to those he loves. The Fawkes part was great! I could totally see Fawkes becoming loyal to Harry now that Dumbledore's gone, as Harry was so loyal to Dumbledore. I loved to thoughts of both Harry and Ginny wondering what it would be like when the other was there, and hoping it wouldn't turn out the way they thought. 10/10!Author's Response: Thanks, Jessie. It means a lot to me that you think I did a wonderful job. I must admit I didn't see it that way - having the guts or not to enter the Duel. I read the challenges, and there were those two plot bunnies immediately hopping around and driving me crazy. So I chose one (I more or less hinted to teh second) and it was fun to write the story. I never thought I would win or anything. That must be why I was tempted to post the fic on my page instead of sending it. hehe. But I did. For the fun.
I'm glad I wrote both Harry and Ginny in canon. Of course, that's what I intended to do, but... you never know. I mean, sometimes you read a character in a different way than most people do.
Fawkes... When I just couldn't end this fic without Fawkes popping in, I knew I had to dedicate it to my favorite author. Since I read sagesolon's Phoenix Letters, I just can't imagine Harry and Ginny staying in touch (and I want them to!) without a phoenix (of course, in his fic, it wasn't Fawkes, but all the same). And if nothing like that happens in DH, I know I'll be disappointed. lol.
About the two parts at the beginning... I thought I had to show their fears, and not just their conversation in the moonlight. To show that even when you love a person and you think you know him/her, your mind can play some tricks to you.
Thanks a lot for reading and leaving a review. :) Report Review
Wow!!! Great fic. I really like how they think that the other is going to be all pissy at them and then they arn't very funny.Author's Response: I thought it was more realistic that way - to show their fears, in spite of what they know about each other. But of course, being who they are, those fears couldn't come true. I'm glad you liked it.
Thanks for r/r! Report Review
That was a really cute story! I loved it :-)Author's Response: I couldn't write them being mad at, or ignoring each other, because in my opinion, they would have been ooc. And I couldn't write a story in which one of them died - I don't want this to happen!
So here was my entry, maybe a bit too cute, but exactly like I wanted it to be.
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Oh, I loved this! I would have voted for it, but... I had a bunch of voting issues. Sorry.
Anyway, great story!Author's Response: Aww, thanks! Don't worry, I knew I wouldn't win. I had fun writing this fic, and it is exactly how I wanted to write it. I do love it. So it's all that matters to me. I know that I might have interpreted the challenge a bit too literally - meaning, the first time Harry and Ginny would be face to face after they broke up. But the story I wrote is the story I wanted to write. It is sweet, and realistic enough, compared to some others, probably more original ones.
To tell you the truth, it means a lot more to me to see that people read my fic on my page, and that some of them take the time to leave me a review, than winning a contest, not knowing who voted for me, and why they liked my story. I do love knowing what my readers think of my works. ~Anne Report Review
*sigh* I wish something like this would happen in the seventh book. I really want Harry to live, and marry Ginny and have little red headed kids with green eyes-corny I know, but still.This is a really good fic! You could possibly make a one-shot sequel to it, like what happens to them after the war, or something. You have a wonderful writing style! 100/100 Author's Response: I want Harry to live, marry Ginny and have kids - in short to finally have a life - too. I'm glad you liked this fic. That's how I would like things to happen in DH.
As for a sequel... maybe. Thanks for the compliment on my writing style. *blushes* And thanks for reading and reviewing. ~Anne Report Review
:D it's good, i like it 10/10!Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. Wow, another 10! Thanks for leaving a review. ~Anne Report Review
Hi! I like it.10-10! Bye Jackie Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the top rating, and for leaving a review. ~Anne Report Review
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