Reading Reviews for Epitaph of a Good Man
  
359 Reviews Found

Review #1, by cherry_pop94 Dancing with Myself

30th July 2015:
Hello Rose! Here for the second swap!

This chapter is really good! I love how Tonks was the one to make the first move, I mean, I always assumed that it was her, but it's nice to see it played out, you know?

She's such a spunky person. I love how the best lawn idea was hers. I can just imagine Tonks laughing her head off after that phone call with the Dursleys. She's in a pretty serious situation, but she's just got so much humour in her! And the way she's so clumsy - it's totally adorable!

And she's fitting into the Weasley family and Order so well. The Weasley kids love her, as they should because Tonks is a delight. And the bit with Molly eyeing up Bill and Tonks, a perfect touch!

I'm really excited to read more of this. I love how it's essentially the romance between Tonks and Remus (and we all know how TRAGICALLY that ends), but there's so much more to it as well. We get to know the Order, how the war really works and how it started, as well as so many characters we don't see often. I'm really hoping for another Charlie appearance, personally!

Can't wait to read more of this!

Stefanie

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Review #2, by cherry_pop94 The Crossroads

30th July 2015:
Hello Rose! I'm here for the review swap!

This story is really great! The first chapter has definitely caught my attention! I've always loved Remus and Tonks, so I can't believe I haven't stumbled upon this before now!

I like how you haven't fallen into the cliche of 'and then I saw him and I knew.' Remus is a pretty unassuming guy, and I'd assume based on his age, not Tonks' usual type. It makes much more sense that's she far more interested in the going-ons of the Order than of this random middle aged man. But still at the end, we got a delightful little spark!

You've also done a really excellent job with the other characters - Sirius, Molly, Mad-Eye, Ron, Hermione, Fred, and George. They all seemed really true to who they are in the books, which is such a tough thing to do!

I also really like your writing style. I'm not quite sure how to describe it, but it's just... like direct.

Anyway, I thought this was a really great chapter! On to the next one!

Stefanie

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Review #3, by Tonks1247 Bizarre Love Triangle

29th July 2015:
Heya!

I saw there was another chapter up this morning, and was quite pleased with my timing, having the other two chapters read and reviewed in time for a new set to come out. It’s quite exciting to be able to read a story getting updated as the chapters come out! Also, gonna throw this in for the new BvB review battle, since it fits the requirements and I was gonna read it anyways…

So. With this chapter. I quite enjoyed the Tonks and Moody stuff going on. Their banter back and forth, and the teasing and the hanging out…it’s so natural for the two of them. They really are pretty close, it seems, and they seem to have this understanding of each other that no one else really seems to have. It’s nice to see that, and have it so well explained and portrayed. I’m not quite sure how to take the kissing there at the end though…it definitely felt natural with how it came in, and I’m quite eager to see how that plays out in the next chapter…

And of course, all the Remus and Tonks stuff was great! I loved reading this list making from Tonks’ perspective. I’ve really come to adore stories written in tandem because it’s so fascinating to see how different people see a specific situation. It changes so much based on what a character believes or finds important in a moment, and it is really great with the two stories you have it going with.

I also hate the tension between Remus and Tonks. All this, ‘oh let’s kiss’ and then Remus comes through with his mantra of avoiding love and he hurts Tonks every time and tries to deny she feels anything…it really is a terrible way to love. Especially because it puts doubts in both of their minds about the obvious feelings they have and when the outcome is likely them finally just being together…well, I just wish love wasn’t so difficult. xD

I did find quite a few little things in this chapter…

“Our faces were mere inches apart when Molly came down the stairs in her bathrobe on and let out a gasp of surprise.” –I think on is an extra word in this sentence

“- I chimed in when they mention something to do with the Auror office…” –in this segment, mention should be mentioned, just to fit with tenses.

“I turned around, my flushed at Remus’ words, to see Mom fussing over a salad.” –I think you need another word in this sentence (cheeks flushed).

“Remus had his arm around me as we walked away from the house, and continued to do so when we were out of site from the house.” –Site should be sight

“Kingsley, who was keen on information from the first Order, called over and to him asking see it.” –I know exactly what this sentence is saying, but the wording is a little off at the end. An extra word or two maybe?

Despite those few things, I quite enjoyed this chapter! I am looking forward to seeing the fallout of this Tonks/Moody kiss because it was kind of out of no where but not, and with the stuff going on with Remus and Tonks…well, it should be interesting…

-Mikaela

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Review #4, by Tonks1247 Fast Car

29th July 2015:
Heya!

So. I figured out a new chapter was up a couple days ago but was stuck in limited wifi land until last night. By the time I did get home and had time to read, I was falling asleep and just decided to turn in early. BUT! I had time today. Which means the first thing I did was forgo my list of things to do and came to read this instead! (Remus’ POV is next! I just feel more put together reading this one first and then the other…)

Moving into this chapter, I quite enjoyed it! I’ve accepted the fact that I have indeed read this story before and I know so because of this chapter. I absolutely loved this chapter the first time I read it and the second time through is just as good! I love how Tonks decides to go to Remus, ignoring the fact that he was going to be a werewolf for most of the night and that Remus likely didn’t want her there. I love how she just sits and talks to him and says she just didn’t want him to be alone when part of it was that she didn’t want to be alone herself. It really is amazing how naturally you were able to depict this scene as well, because it’s difficult to write a scene where one of the characters is a werewolf and cannot really respond to the conversation (not that I’ve ever attempted it because I honestly never really thought about having a scene like this…which is sad because it’s pretty amazing!)

Also, I love Kingsley showing up at Remus’ place to a rather awkward situation. I feel you definitely described Tonks’ perspective and reaction to the situation quite well. I can see her totally trying to pull it off as casual and almost making it that far. I also love how he gets dragged in as her ‘fake boyfriend’ due to her parents questions and how he agrees hesitantly to go with it, and Sirius’ joy. I honest to goodness cannot wait to read Remus’ chapter about this situation because it’s gonna be good…I can just feel it!

There were a couple small things I noticed in this chapter:

“I woke up the next morning and started slightly, forgetting where I was until I saw Remus’ head resting against and smiled.” I think there is part of this sentence missing towards the end there.

“In a moment of domestic clarity, a rare ones at that, I put some oatmeal and brown sugar in two bowls and poured some piping hot water out of my wand.” –ones should be one (Also, I love Remus’ comment about the kitchen having not exploded…made me laugh!)

Other than those two small things, this chapter was quite lovely! I enjoyed it and cannot wait for another! Until then, one of my favourite lines/moments this chapter:

“In what otherwise could have been a romantic moment, my stomach gurgled loudly.”

Hehe, great job!
-Mikaela

Author's Response: yo yo yo!

:D I'm always excited when you have time for a review - or TWO! I do think Remus' perspective makes more sense after reading this (which kind of irks me now that I think about it but I always envisioned these being read together or one after the other).

This chapter is quite memorable with everything that happens with Dawlish. Tonks is quite set on seeing him and isn't easily dissuaged. This scene was tedious to write - and I think you saw the downside of doing the parallel to this in HIKML - as it was so one-sided and I didn't want it to be boring.

Kingsley is quite the older brother to Tonks (here and in the future). He shows up at awkward times and says the awkward older brother things to Remus that someone needs to. Sirius is quite giddy with the situation - at least on the surface.

! Thank you so much for pointing those out. I was able to fix them right away as I was already editing something else. :D

haha, Tonks does ruin her own romantic moments at times.

Thank you so much for another wonderful review!
-Rose


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Review #5, by Tonks1247 Unbelievable

16th July 2015:
Heya!

You know, I’m really beginning to feel bad for the readers who used to have to deal with the cliff hangers I wrote in my stories. Like, I haven’t written any recently, but like…reading this with the ending like it is…I’m kinda anxious for what’s going to happen and the fact that I have to wait to find out is kind of killing me. This is really cruel to inflict upon people (but no worries, I also totally love it because it makes me think about what could happen and makes me excited for a new chapter and I am honestly really melodramatic in reviews…).

So. I’m going to start with this whole Dawlish thing because that’s where the cliff hanger comes into play and he was just being a right old creep. I’m not quite sure if I believe he’s doing it on his own. I think he may have a little encouragement from Scrimgeour, as Scrimgeour is the one who seems concerned about where she’s spending her time and what she’s doing. I feel like if Scrimgeour were to ask Dawlish, it kinda makes sense as to why he’s creeping around her house. Which, like, unnerves me that he just so kindly invited himself in. I hope Tonks gets some good curse or something in at him because he’s just…he’s being a creep and it’s not cool!

Her little side thoughts going between Remus and Moody have me interested. I mean, I can see where she kinda gets on with Moody, but at the same time…I don’t know. It just seems a bit weird. I can’t quite explain why in any way that makes sense out loud…though I do like their back and forth banter. Totally cracked up with the whole seeing through clothes and outgrowing the bra colour think. It was pretty entertaining…

And as for Remus? I was giggling just a little bit with where he came in. He’s so awkward with Tonks, which is just…it’s so fitting for his character. He’s awkward and isn’t used to having this big social thing going on in his life due to being a werewolf and the stigma that’s put on him but he still subjects himself to these sorts of situations…like, him laying down with Tonks had me giggling so much because he’s so awkward about it and then when she wakes up she teases a little with the four times the rest and then suddenly the conversation is serious and Remus really cares about what happened and just…it was really really nice. Remus’ character has such a great counteracting dynamic that’s so well balanced…I quite adore it!

OH! ALSO! FRECKLES! That was such an adorable little scene! Like, I’m pretty sure that entire little scene there was my favourite because Remus was so open about something like that and then Tonks talks about Elvis and then it’s back to business and it just…it was a lovely little scene amongst all the stuff going on and it was quite lovely!

Another great chapter! :D
-Mikaela

Author's Response: Mikaela!!

I'm so sorry to have left you with a giant cliffhanger - there are a few of them in this story. Only a few are kind of intense. I love melodramtic reiews. :D

There's a lot to Dawlish's behavior and it unfolds through the story. I won't say more here though! Scrimgeour is quite overbearing in his attempt to find and weed out any Dumbledore supporters. Though, now that I've seen a bit of him in DH (I wrote his before that came out) I feel he might have been less dogmatic. But, yes, this is the first episode of Dawlish is the creep no one wants to work with.

I've always seen Tonks and Moody as two kindred spirts - they're both so very themselves and offbeat. Moody does show a bit of his less serious side around her, which is nice. I like to think it's why she was so upset at his death.

Remus is always awkward - and I love him for it. I've always thought that Remus both thirsts for friendship and companionship while shunning the idea of him being a good persont o share those things with. he's very conflicted but does induldge himself in moments like sharing a bed wtih Tonks. I couldn't see Remus not inquiring about someone's behavior like that, just part of his own natural curiosity.

I'm so glad you liked Freckles!! I'm so fond of that fictional stuffed animal o.O

Thank you so much for a fantastic review!!

-Rose


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Review #6, by Tonks1247 How Soon is Now?

12th July 2015:
Heyyy.

So. Reading the last chapter of this story reminded me how much I adore Remus/Tonks. Which means I’ll probably be back with every new updated chapter post because I can’t help it. Which, you know, really isn’t all that bad of a thing…

I love Tonks’ character in this. She really seems just as natural in this as she is in the books and it’s really great to see that. I love the attitude she presents and how she takes things as they come. I love how she has this relationship with Moody, where it’s teasing and being ridiculous, but it’s not reserved solely for him. There’s also Remus, and pretty much everyone else who she interacts with where she’s teasing and keeping things light. I quite like it because I have always seen her character as this almost constantly happy person.

I also love, love, love her and Remus. I mean, I know it’s obvious I do, as I’m reading this, but I like how they talk and don’t try to skirt around what happened in the last chapter or their feelings (well, not in a deliberate way yet). They don’t have that teenager-y feel to their relationship and it’s really refreshing (I think I read a lot of next gen romance and I should probably stop for a while). I like how they handle things in the best of lights, including Tonks’ denial of feelings. Her dreams at the end indicate otherwise, but I thought they were quite entertaining! :D

I did catch a couple of things that either didn’t make sense or need slight alterations:

“After adding my broom to the others to be used that evening, I brought the case to a closet upstairs where I checked my hair. It looked alright for violet though it wasn’t exactly my color. Molly was going to send them to Privet Drive after we arrived.” –Okay. I think it may be how this paragraph is structured (or maybe how I’m reading it) but it seems to jump around topics and isn’t very cohesive. This paragraph also doesn’t led to the next one very well either. It seems like a sentence or something is missing to help this part flow.

“I couldn’t resist asking who Moody he knew that lost a buttocks and eyed Mad-Eye’s backside out of sheer curiosity.” –I don’t think you need Moody and he in this sentence. Just one or the other.

Besides those two things, I quite enjoyed this chapter! I’m coming to the conclusion I may have read this story once, quite a while ago, but it’s alright because it was quite a while ago and now I can leave reviews as the chapters come out updated! YAY! :D

Anddd my favourite line, cause I can’t help it: “When Sirius passed by me he commented on how I change my hair more often than some people in the room, he looked pointedly at Snape, change their underwear.”

Hehe, excellent chapter! Can’t wait for the next!
-Mikaela

Author's Response: Can I go on record saying your reviews on this are the best thing ever? They are.

I don't think there's anything nicer you could say than that I got Tonks like JKR wrote her. I like Tonks' relationship with Moody so it's hard not to talk about it a bit. She's definitely the type of happy person I'd want to hang out with.

Next-gen stories are definitely a bit more rush into love than this is. Remus and Tonks rush into something but it's not love at first. They rushed into flirtation? Awkwardness? Something.

Ahh!! Thanks for pointing those out. Your reviews are so great at giving me quick edits to make. ^_^

hehe, writing Sirius being snarky is part of my favorite bit of this story.

Thank you again for such amazing reviews and feedback!

-Rose


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Review #7, by eunoia The Crossroads

11th July 2015:
Okay so I'm terribly unobservant first thing in the morning and totally didn't notice you said you wanted a review on this. Also felt bad because my other review was so short so hopefully this makes up for it!

This is a really solid first chapter and you've introduced all the characters really well, you've done a great job of sticking to canon. I love Tonks and Remus and I love how you didn't write the typical cliche of love at first sight which would have been easy to do. In fact I love the fact that Tonks is aware that she thought Remus was pretty ordinary, I think it makes them seem more realistic and relatable.

I think you've done a really awesome job with this chapter, your characterization is flawless and I didn't spot any errors. I'm intrigued to see what happens next and I'll definitely be back to read more. :)

Author's Response: It's totally sweet that you did come back to review this too! *hugs*

I completely appreciate (and am glad) that this chapter does well as a first chapter - especially with sticking to canon as I've been a bit obsessed with it while writing this. Typical romantic cliches always bother me - especially with these two - so it's nice to hear I've steered clear of them. It's always felt disengenuous for Remus to be really standout person at first meeting. I mean... his coolness isn't surface level.

Thank you so much for such a wonderful review!!

-Rose


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Review #8, by Tonks1247 Dancing with Myself

10th July 2015:
Heya! Back from the review battle (As I should probably really be sleeping just about now…)

AHAHAHAHAHAH! This is precisely why I adore Tonks’ character and why her and Remus make me giggle like no tomorrow. Tonks just randomly decides to kiss Remus, which I’m sure has him a bit shell shocked (If I’m honest), and then disapparates away (I won’t talk about how loud I laughed about her missing her target…). It’s so casual and the light teasing that goes on between the two of them when they are together…it’s just so great because their relationship isn’t something easily definable because they don’t follow any sort of rhyme or reason. It just sort of happens in this mess of falling together and I just really appreciate how you’ve illustrated it here.

(As a bit of a side note, I get this sneaking suspicion I may have read this story some time ago because there are certain moments I seem to remember reading, but then again, it had to have been 3+ years ago so how much do I really remember? Either way, whether I have read it or not, I absolutely love it!)

Anyways…I love how Tonks is invited to dine with the Weasley’s and everyone else at Grimmuald place while at the same time having to pretend she has nothing to do with them at work. It’s not an easy part to play, but she does it well and it is amusing. I also must say, she’s pretty good with the whole ‘Best Kept Lawns Society’ thing. I was giggling a bit at the whole situation playing in my head, with Tonks talking to Vernon and him having no idea who he was talking to or the fact that the society is just a made up thing to lure him out of the house…really, really fantastic!

And as I close out here, I have two favourite quotes (Grammar and all that other stuff was great in this chapter! Didn’t notice anything):

“If you like it so much, I’m sure Sirius will let you have it.”

“Fred congratulated me on making a bigger mess than Ron, who spilled a container of noodles everywhere. George whispered something to Ginny that sounded like ‘domestically challenged’.”

Great chapter! Can’t wait to see more!
-Mikaela

Author's Response: Mikaela!!

I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THEIR RANDOM/AWKWARD KISS!! Tonks is just impetuous enough to do something like that but with just enough self-consciousness to walk away feeling all "what did I do." I'm also glad you secretly laughed at her apparation mistake. :D especially because I always wonder if I'm the only one to laugh at that kind of stuff. I didn't think Tonks was the type to come on really strong but would definitely keep an on-going flirtation with people she likes.

I came back to the site 3+ years ago and was pimping out this story - so you might have come across it then!

ha, the nice reversal of her real relationship with the Weasleys is kind of funny. I have hard time seeing her as someone who would buy into somethng like that (ignoring people she knows) if not for the fact it was entertaining to do.

Your favorite lines were also a few of the ones that made me laugh while writing this! ^_^

I can't thank you enough for such a lovely review!

-Rose


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Review #9, by Tonks1247 The Crossroads

10th July 2015:
Heya. I’m swinging by from the BvB review battle!

I absolutely adore Remus/Tonks. I haven’t written a lot of them, but I will admit there was a point in time where that’s all I would read when I was online! I had just a little bit of an obsession, which makes it even better that I’m here to read because I honest to goodness missed the two of them.

So. I really, really love what you have going on here. I love how it’s not one of those ‘oh the instant we saw each other we were in love.’ I’m not quite sure why, but I never saw the pair of them like that in my head. It just wasn’t realistic to me for them to be like that. So. The fact that they meet during the first Order of the Phoenix meeting and it isn’t a big deal is awesome. It gives time for their characters to talk and build this relationship and give a good explanation about how things moved from not knowing each other to being in a relationship, getting married, having a child…you know, everything that stems from that turning point. I’m quite anxious to see how it builds up.

I also love how Tonks doesn’t know Sirius that well and finds the Order a group of interesting characters (I quite agree with her assessment there XD). She is the youngest one from outside of the families already involved to join. She also does have a lot of catching up to do, as she doesn’t have quite the background as to what’s been going on as the others. She has a lot more of the ministry influence in her life, so to see how she could bring that in…it should be interesting!

I did note one thing at one point:

“Molly and Arthur Weasley greeted me kindly as I had I met previously and their son Bill hugged me as I walked towards my seat.” –I think there is an extra ‘I’ in this sentence

Besides that one thing, this was quite lovely! Cannot wait to come back for the second chapter. This definitely reminded me how much I adore Remus/Tonks and I just need a bit more, if I’m perfectly honest…

And, closing out here, my favourite part:

“Sirius came bolting out of the kitchen, looked around, and shot Remus a quizzical look. Remus let go of me as if he were embarrassed to be holding a woman.”

I feel bad for Remus but at the same point…I definitely giggled…

Great chapter!
-Mikaela

Author's Response: Mikaela!!!

I'm always really excited when I find another Remus/Tonks fan. At one point they were all I would write and it feels nice to be rewriting them.

Eek! I can't tell you how much your review makes me smile! I didn't think it would be realistic for Tonks to go head over heals for someone on first sight. I think the meeting was a big deal but she also met other people that night so it wasn't just about meeting Remus. I really hope you like how their relationship builds. :D :D

I couldn't imagine her knowing Sirius before joining the Order, not as an Auror at least. Her Ministry work does end up having a big impact on the work she does for the Order which will be fun.

Oooh, thank you for pointing that out. I've been combining a lot of shorter sentences and that one didn't get completely cleaned up.

hehe, it is a giggle-worthy moment when Remus gets all awkward over nothing. :D

Thank you for an incredible review!!

-Rose


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Review #10, by guest Dancing with Myself

23rd December 2014:
Again, awesome start!! Though there still a few technical errors.

Author's Response: Thank you for leaving a review on this!! There are quite a few edits I need to do on this story - mostly grammar that needs to be tidied up.

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Review #11, by guest The Crossroads

23rd December 2014:
Good story so far. Flawless except for a few mistakes in grammar.😃

Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely review. I hope you continue to read on.

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Review #12, by CambAngst Unbelievable

24th July 2014:
Hi, Rose!

Poor Tonks is working herself to death! You are a harsh mistress to your characters.

Occasionally my mind floated over to Moody. He seemed more my type. -- I... um... eww.

Wow, the scene in the Hall of Knowledge. Hilarious! If Tonks is going to be successful in this cloak-and-dagger business of being in the Order, she really needs to learn to be more discreet with her research.

Scrimgeour, Dawlish... it seems like the Auror Department is full of creepers. More Dawlish than Scrimgeour, I guess. It's more likely that Scrimgeour has a notion that something is going on inside his department and he's trying to keep tabs on what. Dawlish on the other had, pure creeper.

Aww, Tonks and Remus are cuddle buddies! Nice bit of back story on the Death Eater raid on the Tonks home. I found myself wishing you'd gone just a bit farther with the story, like explaining how the confrontation ended. If the men were sent by Bellatrix, I have to imagine they would have had orders to "erase the stain from the Black name", i.e. kill everyone they found.

Remus's stuffed rabbit was simply adorable! The name was a really nice touch.

Then there's Dawlish again. I hope Tonks hexes some significant portions off of his anatomy.

I didn't see any typos or other problems. Great chapter!

Author's Response: Hi Dan!

I am quite hard on my characters. You have no idea (yet).

Um. I can explain but I'll do it later.

Tonks did nearly fail her stealth section of auror training... subtle just isn't her thing. And, I had to put in some awkward for her.

The Auror Department is full of creepers. Dawlish is certainly the worst as his motivations are more towards obsession with Tonks rather than keeping Dumbledore's people out of the Ministry.

I'm glad you liked the cuddle buddy scene. In one version I had a bit more color in the Death Eater story but I took it out because it felt a bit too extreme. I liked to think the Bellatrix would have been satisified with go torture them a bit but leave them alive (this was a pre-DH thought).

:D His rabbit was one of those things that I've used as a plot device throughout this story. I've also featured it in another story about Remus.

Unfortunately, Dawlish makes it through that scene relatively unscathed. Everyone hates Dawlish in this story.

Thank you for a fabulous review! (and wahoo for no typos!)

-Rose


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Review #13, by CambAngst How Soon is Now?

23rd July 2014:
Hi, Rose!

So the good news is that I didn't think this dragged too badly. But I could definitely tell the difference between places where you were retelling the story from the books and places where you were writing "your own story". The characters didn't have quite the same sparkle in the sections from the books. Part of what I love about this story is how you bring the different personalities to life.

In her brief appearance, Ginny was definitely one of those personalities. You could see a bit of her concern for Harry, and Tonks reacts to it in subtle but neat ways.

When they arrive at Privet Drive, i liked the way that you made Tonks the adult that Harry was most able to relate to. He seems closest to Remus, but Tonks is the one who puts him in a comfort zone.

After the last chapter, I felt like Tonks moved a bit fast when she kissed Remus. Here, she's backing up a bit and being friends instead. I think that makes sense, even though her dreams indicate that her actual feelings are a lot more conflicted.

A few small typos:

I walked into the kitchen where a small coterie there already. -- was there already

I couldn’t resist asking who Moody he knew that lost a buttocks. -- either "Moody" or "he". I love this line, though!

Moody made it sound like we were going to be attacked mid-flight. Alastor sounded somewhat excited. -- This one wasn't a typo so much as it just read oddly. It sounds almost like Moody and Alastor are two different people.

All in all, I thought you did a good job even though you weren't completely comfortable with retelling parts of the books. Looking forward to more!

Author's Response: Dan!

I'm so sorry I took this long to reply to your wonderful review. I've been JulNo-ing like there's only 31 days in the month.

ha, I remember when I wrote this it was one of hte longer chapters I had penned to date. Possible the longest. I do dislike the sections where I was trying to follow the books versus make the story align with the books.

I've considered not having that scene with Ginny in the chapter. I'm glad it was nice to see - I'll definitely keep it in!

I like to think that Tonks is pretty good at putting people at their ease - just part of her personality.

Yeah, she definitely wasn't going to have a "we kissed, let's go out" moment with Remus. It was just a spur of the moment decision, not an intention at something larger (at least not yet).

Thanks so much for pointing out those typos - I know this story needs a lot of work. :-/

Phew - I am so relieved this chapter is okay. Maybe I'll work on re-writing it for NaNo but I usually cringe through chapter 3 when I read it.

Thank you so much for an amazing review!
-Rose


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Review #14, by CambAngst Dancing with Myself

23rd July 2014:
Ooh, Dora gets a bit saucy at the end of this one!

I liked the thoroughness of the way you wrote the chapter. You took your time with the descriptions and the narrative and made sure to hit on all of the major events that take place. From Moody's obsessive -- borderline paranoid -- detailed planning exercise to the questions that Tonks fields from Vernon Dursley when he calls to confirm his "prize", you really put a lot of effort into make the chapter fleshed out and complete.

I did get a bit confused at the start of the chapter. In the first paragraph, you made it sound like Molly didn't want help preparing dinner. Then in the next paragraph, she asks Tonks for help. This sentence also gave me issues:

Molly wanted help with supper; she said dinner wouldn’t happen if one person had to bear to the brunt of the work. -- You use "supper" in one part and "dinner" in the other. Having lived in both the South and the Northeast, I know that they're sort of interchangeable, but I think that might throw some people.

You slipped in the little bit about the atom pattern, which I really liked. A lot of people lose sight of the fact that Ted Tonks is muggle-born.

The conversation between Remus and Tonks at the end was appropriately awkward and wandering for two people who are sort of attracted to one another but not at all ready to deal with the feelings. I wasn't quite sure about Tonks laying a big smooch on Remus here. It felt a bit soon. I'm really interested to see what the aftermath of that moment looks like.

I saw something that might be a typo as I read:

After coming reaching our decision, Moody delved into his explanation of our departure. -- "After reaching our decision"?

Nice job. Moving along...

Author's Response: Hehe, Tonks is quite, um, adventurous at the end of this chapter.

My obsession while writing this chapter (and story) was to make plausible connections between Tonks/Remus and various canon details. I am really glad those details weren't tedious. I know they felt that way to me when I wrote this (way back when) but it was also my first foray into decent story telling. (Total tangent, but my only writing before this was two to three sentence paragraphs, almost no description, and annoying streaming thoughts in the narrative. *shudders*)

Oh, yeah, I only meant that she didn't want Tonks to help. I can see why that's confusing though (also about the supper/dinner interchange).

I forgot that I described them like that! For a solid minute or so I wondered if atom was a typo and if so, what it was for, but then I looked at the chapter and felt quite embarrassed (just not so much so that I didn't tell you ;)). I do have Tonks aware of a few muggle things throughout the story. I'm not sure I'd make that choice again as even Ted is shown to be a bit oblivious to muggle stuff in DH.

It didn't seem right for either of them to be smooth at that juncture. Remus just isn't very comfortable around women (and - as you'll read if you go onto the sequel - is battling a slight attraction to Tonks). I do get feedback that a kiss between them was quite soon here. I stand by their kiss as it wasn't romantically driven. Tonks did it more on a lark than because of burgeoning feelings for Remus (arguably, she does find him attracted but she wasn't trying to kiss him out of an act of love or to further than mostly unacknowledged feeling).

Ooh, thanks for pointing that typo out. I am a very bad editor. I do have it in my mind to one day rewrite this with complete sentences and decent descriptions. Sometimes the narrative is punchy.

Thank you for a fantastic review!

-Rose


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Review #15, by CambAngst The Crossroads

23rd July 2014:
Hi, Rose!

I'm really intrigued with what you're doing here. The story reads like a pretty straightforward "fill in the missing moments" novel so far, but the title promises so much more! It leaves me feeling kind of eager.

I really like the way you've set up Tonks. A lot of authors write her as a rather clownish character, full of goofy, irrelevant thoughts and constantly tripping over everything. You did have a few little stumbles to keep her in character, but you didn't overplay it. She also comes off as being eager, intelligent and more than a little insightful. She was still age-appropriate, however, which was a nice touch.

The way that you passed on the "love at first sight" cliche and gave Tonks a relatively small, platonic interest in Remus was also a great idea. I think it's going to greatly improve the pacing of the story, giving both characters a chance to get a feel for one another and explore their own reactions and feelings. Also, cliches are, well, cliche.

Your other characters were nicely done, especially Sirius. He had the fairly reserved nature of an older, more mature version, but with the occasional flashes of temper and excitement.

Great first chapter! I didn't see any typos or grammatical problems and it all flowed really nicely. Good job!

Author's Response: Hi Dan!!

I'm kind of terrified and excited that you're reading this story. First of all, it is seven years old. so... yeah. Just keep that in mind. :D I also wrote this before DH came out which will probably give away the ending when you get there eventually.

If i hadn't seen her depressed, brooding side in HBP, I wouldn't have known how much depth to give her. I mean, she is young, fairly light-hearted, and bubbly. But she's an auror who is tough enough and good enough at her job to be asked to join the Order. I think I was close to Tonks' age when I wrote this so it was a very easy mode to slip into.

Tonks doesn't feel like a love at first sight girl to me. I honestly haven't read many other Remus/Tonks stories but that doesn't seem like the right way for them to go. They do certainly take their time while still being close enough for Tonks completely falling apart in HBP a bit understandable when it happens.

I'm so happy you like my characterizations so far! Sirius definitely goes through a wide range of emotions and issues through this story (as long as he's in it at least).

Thank you so much for a lovely review! Like I said above, I'm both excited and terrified that you're reading through this.

-Rose



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Review #16, by Haronione Batting for the Other Team

17th July 2014:
Well, that's certainly a different side to Remus! I know it was an act, but still who would have thought he had that side to him. Bet Tonks was shocked by her loving, reserved Remus being like that. It's sad to think of Remus living in an environment where he has to act like that :( it's just not Remus! (That is not a criticism of your characterisation by the way just an observation of the situation :)

I loved this line 'Things happen to me every day, Remus. The only difference is now you’re not around to help me through them.' I hope Remus takes note of it!!! I think I may have to give him a slap if he says too old, too poor and too dangerous again!! Silly Remus, I thought he was intelligent!

So, Savage wasn't at all bothered by Tonks's name mistake a few chapters ago, obviously!!

Urgh! Dawlish makes my skin crawl!! Just urgh! That was really mean of him to mention about the fenrir attacks in that way, Tonks handled it well though! I liked that you have this as the reason for her being at Hogwarts. - again you've integrated canon in wonderfully!

Ha, I loved that Tonks gave Snape a taste of his own medicine :) I just loved this line 'Surely you weren’t expecting a second go after such an abysmal performance?' Haha! I love Snape's character ad he was essentially a good man (deep down) but he was also very cruel, so I loved that Tonks treated him that way :) (I'm so horrible, 2 wrongs don't make a right, but still!) and he was equally cruel back.

Aw, poor Tonks worrying about Remus (I'm not, purely because I know this is canon and that Remus is ok ;)) but at least Savage's plea for her matchmaking takes her mind off it for a bit ;)

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: I kind of liked writing that side of Remus. I do talk a bit about hos it's not in his nature in his version of this but I thought it was exciting. It is sad that he had to get down to that level though. :(

Remus is struggling with his own feelings towards love and duty. It's quite complicated for him (for some reason).

not really. I mean, he's not only understanding about name slip ups but is quite open to loving whoever. :D

Dawlish is the mayor of creepsville. I'm glad that you liked his comment being what drove her to Hogwarts. :D It was a good excuse to make Dawlish a bit creepier with Tonks too.

Tonks was quite the viper with Snape there. When I wrote this I didn't know if Snape was good or evil so I tried to keep him as on-the-fence as possible. He is quite a complicated person. I'd be afraid to write more of him. I felt quite vindicated with her treatment of Snape too. ^_^

Savage is a good friend to take her mind of her worries about Remus. but, yeah, she does go through a bit of doubt over his safety!

Thank you for a lovely review!
-Rose


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Review #17, by Haronione I tried.

17th July 2014:
Tonks is a very feisty character and I loved how she reacted to this man. I also loved how, even though this was a semi-serious situation and she was using her auror skills she still saw the humour at his name :) I was a bit disappointed that Remus hadn't sent him, but pleased that he was evidently missing her - and obviously been talking about her (which was also a bit silly of him considering his situation, he was putting her at risk a bit there, but I will overlook that and forgive him ;) haha) It made me smile when she told John to tell Remus he has no reason to lose hope :)

I liked the relationship between Charlie and Tonks :) It seems like one of those really easy, fun relationships that just carry on where they left off despite not seeing each other for years.

I've said it before but I'll say it again - I like Savage :) I think that's the start of a lovely friendship!

Ha, I liked Tonks's disguise - I thought maybe that's how she killed her lover - giving him a heart attack which her provocative clothing ;) I loved their interaction here, and especially Tonks's little speech. I don't think this will lead to the instant reconciliation I'd hope would happen though - I think they still have a little way to go.

Great chapter as always :) see you at the next one!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Tonks does have a lot of spunk!! I like to think that auror training became more of a reflex than anything else over the years. I ralized when I was writing HIMKL that it was rather irresponsible for Remus to have talked about Tonks. I go about trying to make it okay in his story but, yeah, it comes down to he wasn't as careful as he should have been.

Charlie and Tonks are certianly bffs. I didn't want to complicate them with too much active romance/physical stuff because I thought Tonks had enough fun up to this point. I'm still really excited that you like Savage!! :D

If Remus were to have a heart attack, that would have been when. This will keep them going for a bit though. At least they'll have a better footing come their next interaction.

Brilliant review! Thank you os much!!

-Rose


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Review #18, by Haronione Full Moon Talking

13th July 2014:
Ooh, a lot happened in this chapter! As much as I am rooting for Tonks and Remus to get back together, I am so glad she did not go home with him on new years eve! That would have been wrong for both of them! Tonks would end up hurt again and Remus would go into his self loathing mode for hurting her. Tonks doesn't need Remus for meaningless relations (as has been evidenced in the past few chapters ;)) she needs love from him! So I'm proud of her for not going with him!! I really hope Remus sees the light soon! I was quite cross with him in this chapter!! He needs to redeem himself ;)

I actually quite like Savage, he seems like a nice fella :) I just hope Tonks doesn't end up hurting him! But I think she may have already during their little tryst! He was so sweet with Tonks after her little slip of the tongue, so understanding and kind to her. Not a lot of men would have reacted the same way.

I can not believe Dawlish!! Well I can, I mean it's vile Dawlish, but still what a loathsome creep!! I'm so glad Savage was there to save the day! I hope they are going to report him, he needs his comeuppance!

Ooh, Remus is sending people to check up on Tonks! I hope this means he is changing his mind about the suitability of his relationship with Tonks :)

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: I feel a bit proud that you'd nto want them to hook up in that scene. I mean, I dunno, it makes me feel good about how wrong it was. Tonks can definitely get her fill of random relationships to not need Remus for that. I was mad at him too when I wrote this. Quite.

I'm so happy you like Savage!!! He's become my favorite practically OC who was just mentioned by name in canon. There's an entire short story about Savage. He's definitely quite special and understanding.

Um, yeah, Dawlish needs to get his head examined!! I like to think Tonks would have gotten out of that without Savage but there was a need for intervention.

He hasn't really changed his mind. :) not yet at least

Thank you so much for a wonderful review!!


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Review #19, by Haronione Familiar Head of Hair

13th July 2014:
O.o So, I know I said Tonks needed something or someone to help her get over Remus, but I was not expecting this!!! Snape?! Snape, as in the man who likes to make life hell for all the marauders, including Remus? Snape!? Silly silly Tonks!! I fear Snape would not hesitate to wind Remus up about this - an i fear even more that there would be no coming back from this if Remus does find out! I know Remus was a naughty, silly boy with Farah but this is on another level!! In case you hadn't realised, I am shocked by this behaviour from Tonks! I am making her a referral to a head healer specialist! *calms self somewhat*

Sorry about that ^ I don't know what came over me! *has another sip of tea and settles back to the review* So, George really has a thing for Tonks? He's quite sweet actually :) but I'm glad Tonks didn't take it any further than a little kiss with him, that wouldn't have been fair on him, and he was so sweet to Tonks here :)

Ok, so despite my earlier outburst (seriously, first moody and then Snape?! *sips tea again to calm self*) I can kind of understand Tonks behaviour. I think most people do silly things when they are grieving, and as she is doubly grieving here and her life seems to have changed dramatically in a short space of time her level of silliness is much higher! I just hope this does not come back to bite her on the bottom!

I'm sorry for this review, I think I'm in a state of shock! I shall come back to review the next chapter once I've seen my therapist ;)

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: (this might be my favorite review you've left me on this story)

Sometimes when people are brokenhearted they make bad choices without really thinking through the consequences and... *hands more tea* you'll need that. But, I'll see if she has time to see a head healer specialist.

George really does have a thing for her! I like to think that Tonks was able to sort out that George's heart was into whereas other people... like Snape... are just there for consumption. and, going back to your point, I think Snape does rile Remus up about their encounter at one point in HIMKL.

Tonks' love life is certainly patchy at best!! I can promise you that she also calms herself a bit after this. Well, mostly. ;)

I can't fault your state of shock at this chapter. It shocked many, many people.

-Rose


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Review #20, by Haronione Nice and Angular

12th July 2014:
Ooh, we'll, Tonks certainly has a variety of admirers! Who'd have thought George would take a fancy to his brothers old flame ;) Personally, I think that would be a better pairing than her and moody - but of course I am routing for her and Remus to get back together! And I'm glad she's learnt her lesson from the moody episode ;)

Ha! I really hope she does use one of the snack boxes on Dawlish :) that would be very fun to read - as long as she discards the antidote part of the sweet!! How on earth is she going to deal with actually living in the same flat as Dawlish?! Surely that will be hell!! Poor Tonks!

Good old Dumbledore and his wise words :) I hope Remus does start listening to his heart again too! And oh dear, Tonks is in a bad way if she wondering whether to kiss Snape or flee from him! And then lusting after a chin? She certainly does need something or someone to help her get over Remus. Or Remus needs to sort himself out and help her out!! This would obviously be the preferable option! ;)

I'm glad I have got back to reading this :) I've been on a reading/reviewing dry spell, but thanks to the house cup review task I'm getting back in to it and of course I had to review this story :D yay for the house cup!!

Haronione ♥

House cup 2014 review

Author's Response: As you've noticed, I started to give Tonks a lot of options for moving on. George was certainly a bit bold going after Charlie's old girlfriend. Though, I'm sure that Charlie told him they weren't the awkward exes people sometimes get. I'm still rooting for her and REmus too!! She did certainly learn a lot from Moody ;)

This is where i'm glad that Tonks can hold her own and is an auror. I'd be worried about anyone living with Dawlish though. :( I cheered in DH when they talked about him being under the Imperious curse.

I like to think of Dumbledore as Mister Love who tries to always make people who are into each other go for it. Um, yeah. About Snape. She's misplaces her urges on the wrong person there.

I've been so excited to see your reviews on this!! And I'm so honored you spent all thsi time on my story :D

-Rose


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Review #21, by Haronione With Love, Remus

12th July 2014:
Remus really is a very silly man!!! What was he thinking?! I really don't blame Tonks for being so angry at him, even if she does still love him. I think her little outbursts at him are totally believable and understandable. I would have thought it would be Tonks to have the redound 'date' not Remus - I am shocked by his behaviour and he is in my bad books right now! I would like to know what was going through his mind.

Gah, I really felt for Tonks when she went to Grimmauld place. I think she could have dealt with the break up so much better if she still had Sirius to talk to - he was always a big help where Remus was concerned (even if he did make lewd comments etc about them). I wish she had let Remus explain himself to her though partly because I'd like to know how he would explain himself, but in the circumstances I can't blame her for the way she acted there!

I liked how Tonks turned to Molly in the absence of Sirius. Ha, I also liked how Molly choked on her tea over the moody revelation! I think a lot of people have reacted like that. Poor moody, everyone seems to see him as such an unlovable character - including me ;) In the drama of Sirius dying and Remus's actions I totally overlooked Moody's declaration of love to Tonks in the last chapter! Poor moody!! He must feel a bit like Tonks does :( I wonder if Tonks will end up seeking solace with Moody?! Ew!!! :(

Haronione ♥

House cup 2014 review

Author's Response: Remus wasn't thinking. Or well, he was following his urges. I'm so glad her outbursts were reasonable with his actions. I dunno, when I wrote this I hadn't been through a big break up so I was guessing for most of what they did.

Sirius would have definitely pulled them together a bit more. Or at least knocked some sense into Remus. Remus does eventually make an explanation - I promise!

That scene in HBP with Molly and Tonks having tea when Harry came by was part of what inspired me to make Mood/Tonks happen. I couldn't imagine why else she'd specify that Moody would be there as well as Remus if not to bolster both relationships. Harry had no way of knowing that Tonks had a thing with either of them so she didn't need to be coy and talk about both. Anyway, this was the scene I was building up for when I started to make Tonks and Molly friends. :D I like to think Molly was a good second choice for her to get relationship advice from.

I love this review - thank you ver much!

-Rose


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Review #22, by Haronione Breaking of a Heart

12th July 2014:
No!!! :'( so much bad stuff happens in this chapter! This chapter made me sad!! I knew it would! So, I was so engrossed in the relationship between Tonks and Remus that I did not note where it was in the time line, if I had I could have prepared myself for Sirius's death!! Why does he have to die?! :'( (I mean I know why, because this story is canon - which of course I love - but why :()

Poor poor Tonks!!! There she is thinking that Remus is going to propose (which I now see is the life changing thing Sirius was talking about) and then he breaks up with her instead!!! No wonder she cried her self to sleep :( She's mourning Sirius and the relationship breakdown too! I don't think I'd have gone into work if I was her!

And then she has to deal with the fact that vile Dawlish is going to be her new supervisor! Things couldn't get much worse for her. Oh but this is you, Rose, so of course things could get worse for her!! I have to go to the next chapter to find out exactly who Remus is with!! Bad Remus!

Haronione ♥

House cup 2014 review

Author's Response: This is the chapter that is hard for everyone to read. :( :( :(

Part of me is glad you were engrossed enough in Remus/Tonks to forget what was happening in the books. I wanted to yell at JKR for this part of the series too. :(

I know! She was just super-devastated (which is why her hair went all brown). The double mourning has to be difficult. If it hadn't been such a hectic time at the Ministry, I think she would have stayed home.

Ick, yeah. Dawlish as her supervisor was not a nice thing for me to do. I laughed really hard at it not getting harder (but possibly because I'm writing it). That's pretty accurate though. :D um, Remus was being bad here. Id on't have any excuses for that behavior.

Despite the review on a sad chapter, you made me smile quite a bit!

-Rose


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Review #23, by Haronione The Sky is Falling

12th July 2014:
Ok, so this chapter has left more intrigued as to what is coming up! What is Sirius talking about something big and life changing coming up? And why is Remus acting odd? I'm not sure i like this!!! I think it should all just stay the same, with Remus and Tonks in happy bliss ad Sirius safely tucked away at Grimmauld place (but maybe with an old love interest turning up to keep him company) and they all live happily ever after ;) Of course, I know that can't and won't be happening, and as I know you are so good at sad, tragic endings, I am preparing myself for that!!

Ha, so I found it very amusing that Dumbledore turned up just at the wrong moment and opened a whole can of worms :) and I loved the conversation about Tonks's past misdemeanours with boys while she was at Hogwarts, haha! Is it this that is causing Remus to be odd?

I loved Sirius's reaction to finding out that Moody was person B, it seems he felt the same as us readers did about it! ;) at least he's not going to tell Remus about it.

I really liked seeing Sirius and Remus's side of Harry seeing that memory. I've said it before but I'll say it again - I love these little additions to this story, bringing in the canon bits but in a different light :)

I'm a bit scared to read on as I'm feeling ominous about what's going to happen! But I shall read on because at the same time I need to know!

Haronione ♥

House cup 2014 review

Author's Response: There are some heavy hints in this chapter. Though, as you've figured out, those hints don't come to fruition. I wish I made this all AU and that's what happened. But, you know, canon matters. :P

See, it amused me to write about Dumbledore showing up at the wrong moment and have the can of worms pop out there. I won't tell you (well, you've read on so you've figure it out).

haha, I think he took the news rather well. I mean, he didn't puke in his mouth like some people did.

The canon moments were my obsession while I wrote this. I kept the books next to me at all times to reference if I needed to.

Don't be scared! I mean, it gets kind of awful but... I don't have a second half to that.

I really loved this review! Thank you!

-Rose


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Review #24, by Haronione Your Song

12th July 2014:
Aw, I found it really cute that Tonks was worrying about valentines day e cause she'd never been with a significant other on that day before :) I also loved her present to Remus, definitely sentimental and mushy but also very thoughtful and sweet! She may not have got that idea had it not been for the pictures from the ministry spying in them ;)

Haha, typical Tonks, forgetting about her own imperturbable charm and ending up on the floor!

Wah! The scene between Tonks and Sirius about Harry not getting in touch just made me sad and think that if only Harry had remembered the mirror Harry would never have gone to the ministry that day and Sirius would never have followed him there to save him and he would never have died :( boo hoo! And breathe!

Ha, so Remus's gift was quite a surprise! Good choice of song as he has taken the place of Elton John for Tonks. But... It was a little cheesy, but that just shows how much he loves Tonks as he was prepared to be sooo cheesy ;) haha!

That last paragraph is a bit ominous - I don't like the sound if that! I guess I'll have to read on to see just what it means!!

Haronione ♥

House cup 2014 review

Author's Response: I imagine it was hard for Tonks to feel very romantic. Also a bit sad that it was her first romantic v-day. :P Though, not very surprising. She definitely did have a stroke of luck with the Ministry spying on them.

hehe, I'm glad that was amusing - I always chuckle at that part.

There are a lot of feels in the next few chapters around Sirius and "what happens at the MoM" which made this hard to write about. The whole mirror thing is frustrating. I dunno, there were so many points in this book where I waned to shake Harry for his behavior. That was one of them.

I thought it'd be interesting to have him branch out and do something dorky but cute. ^_^ Cheesiness just means he loves her.

The ominous portion is just there to remind people what's coming. :( which I partially did because I was forgetting at times what was coming up.

Thank you for a wonderful review!! I love reading your reviews.

-rose


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Review #25, by Haronione Ministry Lies and Ties

12th July 2014:
Well, Tonks and Remus are certainly making up for lost time now aren't they?! Haha! Who can blame them though, they've waited long enough!!

I can't believe the ministry have been spying on them and taking pictures!! Although that did Tonks a bit of a favour, now she has some nice photos of them ;) I have to say I was waiting for Remus to go all Remus like when he found out about her meeting at the ministry and finish things again - I'm so glad that didn't happen! Unless he's going to have another blip in the next few chapters?! I hope not!! I mean, he can't, he's told her he loves her now so he just can't! ;)

Ha, I love how Sirius has become a bit of a gossip and relays everything back to Tonks :) and it's really cute that Remus is so worried about Tonks when she's at work.

I look forward to reading about Tonks's attempts at being romantic ;)

Haronione ♥

House cup 2014 review

Author's Response: Making up for lost time is a great way to put it. :P I would have probably done the same thing.

The Ministry spying was something I thought about with Scrimegour's suspicion of Kingsley and Tonks. The pictures are a bonus. :D Um, I think it nearly caused a blip but he pulled out of it (for now).

Sirius is a total gossip. I think it kept him going a bit. Remus would totally be a worry-wart when it comes to Tonks out in a dangerous situation.

Both of them are taking a stab at romance! It'll be fun.

Thanks for a wonderful review!!

-Rose


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