Okay, I’m back and read to give my opinion. Just a reminder, is that I never mean anything in a too bad of way. Also criticism is just as good as praise, it’s helps you grow as a writer. Before I start, what you said in your reply to one of my past reviews is that you kind of live in the Harry Potter world. That daydreaming is what makes you the great writer that you are. You write what you see, and your good with your words, keep it up.
Okay, one major problem would be is that it is impossible to be able to apparate. Hermione states clearly that it is not possible; I think it’s the fifth, book so you may not already know that if you haven’t finished all the books yet. But Hermione does seem to take the ‘Hogwarts a History’ a little way too seriously. Just thought you’d want to fix that little fact.
Yet again, you put your talent to the test. As I’ve kept saying, you tell people things but you don’t, and I love it. But what I really love is the main plot idea, it sounds as if it could end up to be a high reviewing story.
What I want to know is who th the chick and why exactly is she at Hogwarts? It would be cool for you to do a flashback, don’t put all your information into one flashback though. Spread it out and you get a longer story.
If you need any more help or idea’s just give me a bell., I’ll be on the eye out for an update. Keep writing your doing a great job, can’t wait to read more.
Author's Response: Thanks for the ideas, I will take them up. About the apperating in Hogwarts, I think I will change that to an intangablility spell, that allows her to walk through the wall or something like that... many be have it that so the girl knows a way around the spell preventing people for apperating in Hogwarts. Have started work on my third chapter for Hazardous Wishes.
By the way, what did you mean about me putting my talent to the test? I just got and a wild hair to write this story and the chick's past and origins will be explained later... no spoilers for you!
Thanks for the advice Report Review
Liked: The plot so far, it's a good idea!
Love: The talking between them!!
Add: Don't forget comma's-- like when people talk.
Please read and review one of my stories!Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback, as fore the dialogue I tried to stay as true to the characters as possible. working on the rest of it (ae. another chapter) but am writing five other stories so may take a while...thanks again Report Review
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