Reading Reviews for The Powers Within
  
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by potterenchantress1993 Chapter Three

20th September 2007:
This was a very good story i love this series that you are creating i really can't wait for more you are a really good writer adn i am glad that we are friends this was and awsome story.

yours Truly,

Potterenchantress1993


Author's Response: Thanks! I'll try to write more soon. I'm glad we're friends too!

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Review #2, by mischiefmanaged Chapter Three

31st July 2007:
Your chapters are still a little too short. Try working on the length. All right, like I said in a previous review, you should not use the and sign to separate some of the events. Instead, you should use the horizontal rule. Here is the page on how to use it in case you have lost it:

http://www.harrypotterfanfiction.com/getinfo.php?page=simpleformatting

I am liking this story so far, and I like how you included the bartender of the Leaky Cauldron in this story. He is a very minor character in most stories, and it seems that he will be a somewhat important character in this story.

I also enjoyed some of the dialogue with Hermione and her children. I found some of the lines humorous, like this one:

"Your father's a prat, but all right. Just... do something to your father beforehand. Whack him with your broomstick or something."

Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: I like popping in unimportant characters at times. They can be a blast to write, and I don't have to worry about silly canon then.

I don't usually do humor because it's not my best genre, but I do like to add in the occasional line here and there to amuse myself. My sense of humor is rather odd, so I'm glad you liked it! Thank you so much for the reviews, they were so helpful and enjoyable!


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Review #3, by mischiefmanaged Chapter Two

31st July 2007:
Interesting twist to the story. So Harry and Hermione have lost the use of their magic? Hrm, wonder how they will cope with life without magic since they have been using it so long.

I still found some small typos in this chapter. They're around the dialogue, things like periods where commas should be. There are very few typos, but you should still reread the chapter to see if you could find them.

I think that this chapter would probably be better if you made it longer. It's only around eight hundred words, which is usually a bit short for readers. Maybe try adding in some more detail, that'll probably increase the length.

This is a nicely done chapter, but it could still use a little work so it'll be even better. Good job on the plot though.

Author's Response: Yes, they have. If you wonder how they'll cope, imagine people like Mrs. Weasley! I would hate to live around people like that. I'd feel worried.

I'll definately re-check them! Sometimes I'm just so excited to post I don't recheck them, which is why there are a lot of little things here and there. It really is a bad habbit.

Erm, I'm really bad at long chapters. Usually 800-900 words is as long as I go, except for some really rare occasions. I'll try though!


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Review #4, by mischiefmanaged Chapter One

31st July 2007:
I found this quite an interesting story. I'm not really a Harry/Hermione shipper, but I enjoyed this first chapter. I have not read the prequel yet, so it does seem a little confusing. I have one question about the children. Are they all around the age of four or are they triplets?

I like how Hermione has defeated a bad guy by herself. She isn't just helping Harry defeat Voldemort anymore. So yes, I like your characterization of her.

I found some grammar mistakes in your chapter. Like this line, "It was quite a pity that one couldn't apperated with children," should probably be "It was quite a pity that one couldn't Apparate with children." Instead of using the and sign, you can replace them with a horizontal rule. Here is the page which explains how to use them:

http://www.harrypotterfanfiction.com/getinfo.php?page=simpleformatting

Just scroll down a bit and you'll see it. So overall I think that this is a good start. It could still use a little work though, with the grammar mistakes. But keep up the good work!

Author's Response: The children are triplets.

I always hate how in some fics Hermione doesn't really do anything, so Hermione has a more of a "kick butt!" role in my stories. Thanks for pointing that out! And I'll definately check it out. So that's where that thing came from!


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Review #5, by JamesandLilly4ever Chapter Three

30th July 2007:
Liked it continue writing

Author's Response: Thank you, I will!

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Review #6, by Gryffendorkangel101 Chapter Two

25th July 2007:
Really Good!

Can't wait for more chapters!!!

Author's Response: Thank you!

I'll try to be updating soon.


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Review #7, by Might Have Ben Hur Chapter Two

7th July 2007:
Natalie's attack plan was rather humorous. Hermione and Harry both seem in character so far. Keep going with this story. It's rather captivating despite the occasional muddled phrase.

Author's Response: My sense of humor isn't the best, but I enjoy adding some stuff in now and then.

Yay, they're in character! The first story (my first story) was so bad and everyone was ooc, so that's nice to here.


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Review #8, by Might Have Ben Hur Chapter One

7th July 2007:
Question: why is there a fireplace in the middle of a not often used park? ;-) Just a small detail I found funny. There were a few muddled places, but it was written well overall. Perhaps I've missed something, having not read the prequel, but you said "the nursery that had once belonged to Harry." Does that mean Private Drive? If so, why would Harry want to live there, even with his own family? It would make more sense if they had inherited Hermione's old house. But again, that might have been explained in the previous story. Good work so far. I'm very interested, especially since I know what the AU is. lol

Author's Response: Erm, I think they might have gone somewhere and floo, but I'll add that in. Thanks for catching that,

I meant Godric's Hollow. Like you said, you haven't read the prequel. Thanks for the review!


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Review #9, by harrypottergirly Chapter Two

2nd July 2007:
MORE PLEASE

Author's Response: I will write more soon. It won't take as long as last time.

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Review #10, by SillyGooseGirl Chapter Two

2nd July 2007:
hm...interesting!

Author's Response: Interesting in a good way, I hope?^_^

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Review #11, by ghostwriter1030 Chapter Two

29th June 2007:
Good job and the action scene was good, I could totally envision it in my head please update soon :)

Author's Response: Oh, I am so relieved that the action scene was good and you could picture it in your head. I've been so nervous about that scene and haven't gotten much feedback. I'll try!

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Review #12, by ghostwriter1030 Chapter One

29th June 2007:
Hi there ChellDaBelle from the forums with your review and like I told you before I love H/Hr and the kids sound adorable, I'm enthralled already. No major errors that i can point out 10/10 off to read more :)

Author's Response: Hello! I'm glad you like HHR, because it isn't a very liked ship. :(

I'm glad the kids sound adorable! Especially since I don't like little kids very much, and haven't had much experience with them. Thanks for the review! ^_^


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Review #13, by HrXd Chapter One

28th June 2007:
Well since I haven't read the prequel I was a little confussed with the story. I think that this was very interesting. I liked the description, and the ending is neat.

Author's Response: Sorry about that. I'll post in your review thing sometime for the prequel. Thanks for the review!

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Review #14, by evilrubberducky Chapter Two

22nd June 2007:
Yay, an update! I wonder why their magic went away? And it had to happen at a bad time too. At least it didn't happen when they were in the final battle! I can't wait to see what happens next, so you know what that means! be a better updater then I am!

10/10

Author's Response: Yes, an update! I can't believe it took so long. Oh, well. And yes, at least it didn't happen during the final battle. Thanks for the review!

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Review #15, by krazyniaj Chapter One

20th June 2007:
You have got to continue this! I have to know whats going on! Who was that woman? Who is Tom? OH! Your doing great keep it up!

Author's Response: Thank you! I just posted the new chapter, so hopefully your questions will have answers soon!

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Review #16, by mr and mrs potter Chapter One

22nd May 2007:
this is awesome it sounds like you have a good story going here keep it up and I'll be reading
ta

Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review! Hopefully I'll 'keep it up'. Ta! ^_^

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Review #17, by Flower123 Chapter One

18th May 2007:
oh no whats going on now?update soon

Author's Response: I will try to...

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Review #18, by evilrubberducky Chapter One

17th May 2007:
Amazing chapter! I think I'm going to love this story even more than Happily Ever After?, which is saying a lot. It sounds really interesting. I especially like how you added Harry's 'saving people' problem in there. It is so much like him! Anyway, as a special treat to you, I'm going back to review all chapters of Happily Ever After?. Aren't I a wonderful sister? I'll try to get to it ASAP.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I might set the table for you because of this review, but don't expect this all the time! If you review, I'll review yours so it is fair.

Oh, and I rather liked adding in Harry's 'saving people' problem too. It is so useful in fan fics.



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