aw! that was really cute. i hav to say that u kinda took the idea of the 4th book and put it in this story. it was still extremely lovely! oh and just for further stories Animagus is spelled like this.
~genieAuthor's Response: That was the point. voldemort came back in the graveyard and I figured lucis would have a connection there Report Review
love ur writing!Author's Response: Thanks Report Review
Nice, but shouldn`t it say, Died: June 15th on his gravestone, as it`s Katie birthday, which it says earlier in the story is June 15th?Author's Response: thanks for the point out. I check it out
Wow. This was a great story. I have to mention that you missed a few commas here and there.
“Ginny.” He whispered. She looked up and saw he was awake she smiled.
should have been
"Ginny," he whispered. She looked up and saw he was awake. She smiled.
But it doesn't matter much. 8/10
Author's Response: thanks i am not to good on the whole gmmar thing Report Review
oh this is good
Author's Response: Thanks Report Review
Loved it. I got a little scared, but its really good. Keep it up.Author's Response: thanks for the reveiw
i liked the story =]Author's Response: thanks Report Review
OMG!!! I love this story! Thank you so much!!! You just made my day. First my first story is still in waiting for valadidaton, than I read a really really scary story. Thanks!!! ; )
10/10Author's Response: I'll read it as soon as it gets out of validation Report Review
i personally liked the other two better. This one was kinda abrupt(sp?!?). Kinda, darkish and sad. oh well, i give it a 7.Author's Response: I didn't really like it i know it was abubt Report Review
wow i was worried! u should write a nother! they r awsome! Author's Response: thanks but that was the end of the trillogy check out my other storys though Report Review
Nice story! But it was a little short :(
The ending was a bit abrupt though...Author's Response: I know but it ended the trillogy and i was a little tired of writing it. Report Review
Oh, and I bet I missed some errors, but anyway.
What are best friends for?
Overall it was good though. I liked the plot.
:)Author's Response: THatnks
Okay, girlie, I noticed serveral mistakes, and I'm going to point out each and every one of them so you can fix them. :D
At the beginning where Harry says: "Fine a couple more..." You should either end the sentence at fine and start a new sentence at a, or add a comma between.
When it says: Standing, next to him was Ginny, there shouldn't be a comma.
It's my personal belief that Draco should refer to Lucius as "my father" rather than, well, Lucius.
When Draco says "a few minutes ago..." the a should be capitolized.
When it says: thought, as Ginny the comma doesn't need to be there.
NEVER put a colon before quotation marks. (Example: Draco paused before saying: )
Harry sat head in his hands should either be: Harry sat with his head in his hands or Harry sat, head in hands, blah blah blah.
honey…What’s wrong? Here you don't need to capitolize What's.
Harry said rushing his wife should have a comma before rushing.
Ginny got down the stairs and Harry grabbed Kati and when they all where together. I see two things wrong here. First of all, you KNOW how I hate the double and thing, and secondly, where should be were. I also think it's a bit of a run on.
Ginny had taken Kati up to the room a few minutes ago and when Harry went up to check on them. They were asleep. Can you say BLEH? Okay, what room did Ginny take Kati to? Also, Ginny had taken Kati up to the room a few minutes ago and when Harry went up to check on them. is a fragment.
“Harry news just came. Commas need to go after names if someone is speaking!!!
A man stood next to him about 10 feet. FRAGMENT! Add 'away' to the end of the sentence and it would sound right.
on the death eaters clock and mask. Typo. Clock= Cloak
You see when I found out... There should be a comma after 'you see'
way different happened. way should probably be changed to 'much'
Author's Response: OMG!! How was the story overall? Report Review
sequel please!!! i'm a little confused on the colliding spells though...Author's Response: It's ment ot confuse Report Review
oh soo cool
hey, what about that banner?Author's Response: email me
Ok...just one question...was the whole graveyard thing real or just a dream that Harry was having?? Kinda confused...but overall good story. :)Author's Response: It was supposed to be the same graveyard that harry incountered in 4th year
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