So...he was in a coma and for some reason woke up when Ronalda walked in his room? This story is interesting but you definitely need A LOT more description, you can't expect the reader to know what's going on when you provide us with minimal information. Report Review
This seemed to be a good story, but the plot just didn't make sense to me.. Could you re-write with a better plot perhaps? It has potential, there are just plot holes thats all. Report Review
Very Sweet Story.
I enjoyed it.
I am pretty sure that you meant Harry and Ginny's children to be named after his parents, so in that case it would be Lily instead of Lilly. Just thought I would let you know.
--AllyAuthor's Response: *hits head* well, that was the point but yet again my spelling gets in the way. Thanks for minchoning that:) Report Review
You have a very creative idea here. I enjoyed this one-shot. The only thing I have to say is that you should probably work on your description, grammar and spelling. The description was missing a lot, and I think that this will be a great story if you add more detail and correct your typos. Like some of your other reviewers said, you should probably edit this soon to add in that Ron was in a coma. Other than what I pointed out about the description, grammar and spelling, this was a very nice one-shot. Keep up the good work!Author's Response: Thanks:) Report Review
Oh this was so good but I'm a little confused was Ron a ghost or real??
And if he was real ho was he in the room why he had a gravestone???
Rating:11/10Author's Response: Ron, was real. He was in some kind of magical coma. Or somthing. I'll let the reader chjose why he was able to get back. Ok. Thanks:) Report Review
wow, its good, I Liked it but it was kinda short. other wise it was good!
-nattieAuthor's Response: Thanks, yeah I know it's a bit rushed. I might redo it, considering that I have a little more time:) Report Review
Hehe, the names Ronalda, Lilly and James are a bit cliché. I can tell why you used them though. A few problems with spelling and capitalisation. Also, Brits say Mum not Mom. Hrm, so the part with the forbidden room was a bit strange. Was it his ghost? Interesting.
I think the idea of the little girl tripping on the grave is quite interesting. Good idea for a plot. (o:Author's Response: I know that they are a bit cliche but it was what made the most sence than anything else I thought of. Iknow my spelling is horible. I have inproved though. You should see what I used to write. Also I do need to get in touch with my inerBritish side (thinks for a moment) I shall put that off for a while. Thanks for the review:) Report Review
wow. i like it.Author's Response: Thanks:) Report Review
Very nice. Ronalda is perfectly Ron and Hermione's daughter and it was really unique that she knew so little about her dad. There was also this contrast between what Ronalda knows, and what the reader knows, which I especially liked because I am working on a novel with the same issues, and I've always had a soft spot for that theme. You need to work on grammar/spelling/flow issues, and also, I was reading your other reviews and it would be nice if you specified that Ron was in a coma (which you surely know by now, =)), since it would help still story work alone. Still, the plot/tension/characters are good, and if you get it beta'd, I'm sure it'll be a nice story, indeed. It has potential! =)Author's Response: Why thank you:) I have allways liked this idea to. I guess I should explain that thanks:) Report Review
aww sweet story! a few errors, but the plot and structure was very good! :)Author's Response: Thanks:) Report Review
Yay he was gone and now he's back... it would be nice if there was a bit of an explaination though and how did the kids get from Hogwarts to the Burrow so quickly? Very well writtenAuthor's Response: He disapperated once out of Hogwarts ground so threr you are thatks:) Report Review
uh...so how is alive? lol very good.Author's Response: Alive thanks:) Report Review
this was really good. just one thing: is he still dead? is he a ghost? was he only there for that one night to see Hermione? or is he alive again?
other than a tad bit of confusion, this was really really good! ^_^Author's Response: He never died he was just put into a magical coma that they couldn't detect I guess i am going to have to add that eventuly:) Report Review
Aww, that was cute. I think that you needed to explain the whole reason why he was able to come back to life better, though. I was a little confused as well. Otherwise, great read.Author's Response: Thanks he wasn't dead just put into a coma that no one could decect:) Report Review
so...Ron rose from the dead?...Author's Response: no he was just put into a magical sleep that porvented any one to know he was alive Report Review
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