Reading Reviews for Work buddies
  
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Malfoyfriend20 Work buddies

13th September 2009:
AW that was really cute!!! *hands you a brownie*

 Report Review

Review #2, by Hufflepuff_Rocks Work buddies

17th October 2007:
Wow! That was funny! I liked it =D Good job!

Author's Response: Thanks,
It's rather fluffy like most of my work but oh well, I'm proud with this fic.
Thanks for the sweet review Hufflepuff_Rocks.
Elven


 Report Review

Review #3, by ginny_roxmysox Work buddies

16th September 2007:
This was so sweet! Loved it!

Author's Response: Thank you for the sweet review,
Elven


 Report Review

Review #4, by dracoslover1 Work buddies

29th August 2007:
It was a cute little story. The only real 'problem' that I had with it was the spacing. I would suggest seperating the paragraphs from when Fluer speaks and when Bill speaks. It makes it easier for the reader to understand and not be confused on what is happening. Other then that, I thought it was really good.

Author's Response: I'll need to update for the spacing then. Lol
Thanks for the review,
Elven


 Report Review

Review #5, by 0MFGZshes__DEADLY Work buddies

7th July 2007:
Your writing is very casual and very odd for me to read. In all honesty, it's kind of difficult to read as narration.
Also, there are points where your punctuation is off, so it's kind of confusing to read.
Your story has good potential, though.

Oh and you might want to exaggerate Fleur's accent a little less. lol
Just a suggestion...

Author's Response: Casual writing.
That bad?
I try to make it easy to read though and you say it's hard, lol.

Yeah, Fleur's accent my big mistake.

Elven


 Report Review

Review #6, by Novatrix Work buddies

20th June 2007:
Aw, this is really sweet! I love the idea, and I thought the entire thing was very cute. There are just a few things for you to improve on here. First, Fleur's accent. Here's an example of what you wrote, compared to her accent according to canon: “No, I have fienieshed a longe time agoo” and “No, I 'ave feneeshed a long time ago.” A French speaker wouldn't say “I work ien Griengottz;” if she had seen the word Gringotts, she would say something like "Grahn-jzoh" and on her first imitation effort something like "Grahn-gotte" (very hard 'tt' sound). In French, the dipthong "ie" is only used in words where those two letters are used (for example, bien, pronounced bee-yah(n)). “Je t’aime et je t’ adore et sa va jamais changer” is incorrect. “Je t’aime et je t’ adore et ça ne changera jamais” is the French equivalent of a very English-sounding, nonidiomatic sentence (ça ne changera jamais = that will never change; the French say "not... never," not "never"). If you want him to imitate her phonetically, he'd probably say "Jetem ay jet adore ay san chanjra jamay." Although I'm not an expert on the language, I can point you in the direction of a professional translator who can help you with this (if you like). I know it isn't a huge thing since most readers will have little experience with French, but it is currently inaccurate and artificial (I have the same complaint about JKR's cartoonish accent, which is something like "What eez zis 'orrible theeng?").

Oh! A small thing that can't really be put in a review. Fleur should say 'merde' when she curses, not the English, censorable equivalent. ^_^

But they're both wonderfully in character. Bill is such a Weasley and Fleur is, well, Fleur. Well done!

Author's Response: Fleur's accent.
I worked so hard on that and it still isn't okay.
I tried hard to keep them in character as I don't know much about the two characters.

Thanks for the review,
Elven


 Report Review

Review #7, by ChizzaLazty Work buddies

8th June 2007:
Awww! You're right, this probably didn't happen in canon, but fanon is good enough for me because I definitely liked this a lot! (I'm a sucker for Bill/Fleur :p)

I read this story because I wanted to, just so we're clear on that :)

Some cc first (it's not that I like pointing out others' mistakes, but it's a review, so...)

As I said in another review, you use "and" and "but" in the beginning of sentences. I already said something about that, I don't have to repeat myself...

There weren't as many spelling and grammar mistakes in this one as there were in "Kitten help", but there was one mistake in tenses that I noticed: "Well, it isn't really a date, more like a study-date". Your text is written in the past tense, so it should be "wasn't" instead of "isn't".

Also, you should add a new paragraph before each new reply, utterance, each time someone speaks or whatever you call it... (I don't mean three things, I only wrote all three because I didn't know which one to use :p ).

There's one thing in particular I'm impressed with, and that is that you managed to pull off the French accent, in my opinion, brilliantly. I mean, I couldn't even have pulled off English with a Norwegian accent, even though that's probably my own accent :p So well done, I think you managed to do it in a way that made it seem very French, but at the same time not overdone.

Another thing I liked was the ending. You do seem to have a way with endings. They're my pain and misery, but you seem to have them down. Lucky you! This ending was sweet, very sweet! I even know what "Je t'aime" means!! *proud*

Oh, and also when Bill had his anger outburst. I mean, that's just funny :p A real Weasley, at one. Nice to finally know for sure he's one of them (as if his read hasn't already given him away, he he).

Oh, and one more thing: When they decided to meet, it was at 5 PM. Fleur realized she was late at 4 PM. Did she really need an hour to get there, or was it a mistake? :)

Length, again, yes, I know :) The length is good, but I wouldn't mind had it been a bit longer. You could've made each moment last a bit longer, to completely dismiss the feeling of rushed-ness (I don't even know if that's a word. And, the rushed-ness wasn't very strong, btw, just a tiny little hint that it was rushed - wait, that came out wrong. I mean that you don't notice that it's rushed unless you really think about it, so it's really no big deal, but I think it would be even better had you made it a bit longer.

Those are just my thoughts and cc. And don't get me wrong: This one I really liked. My terrible head-ache and the loud, horrible music just won't let me be nice in reviews right now...:p He he.

Good luck with the novel!

Christina

Author's Response: Thanks, Chizza.
Oh another review and this time I didn't need to ask you to review!!!

Heh, so you think I pulled off the French Accent?! * does crazy happy dance *

Thank you for the compliment about the endings.
When I have an idea I actually only have the ending in my head and tend to make the beginning rushed and less important which I have to work on everytime I finsih the story I need to make sure it has a fine beginning.

You should be proud, Chizza, I think everyone knows what "Je t'aime" means but I needed something to make it fluffy!
After all, I love to write fluff.

Actually, I just thought that was how Bill was going to react on her many mistakes.
Honestly, he doesn't seem to have his father's patience in my mind but more his mother's impatience and fury.

Oh, time difference.
I had no idea, I'll have to check on that again.

Lol, Chizza; so things seem rushed if you think about it but while reading you don't notice it?
Weird. Hehe; weird, like me.

They don't let you be nice?
To me you seem to be nice in reviews.
* smiles *

Thanks Christina,

I loved your review, as usual.

Elven


 Report Review

Review #8, by Dark_One Work buddies

19th May 2007:
I don’t normally like fluffy or romantic stories, bit that was just so sweet!! You French accent was a bit off, but ah well the reader can see what you mean! I also though what you wrote in French was very romantic! I love that seem to be able to put different languages into your stories and I think that maybe you should, for your next story, work on that! I couldn’t see any real mistakes in your work, but I still think you should get a beta! I love your work and remember to keep writing so I can keep reviewing! 10/10

Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely review.
I have heard the story was too fluffy but that was my goal. To make it fluffy. ;)
Thanks once more.

Elvengirl


 Report Review

Review #9, by pigwidgeon385 Work buddies

13th May 2007:
Okay. Nice story! The plot was very cute, and I agree with the 'tingly' feeling mentioned below. :P However, there are a lot of grammar mistakes. Have you ever considered getting a beta? And, also, when another person begins to speak, you have to put it in a new paragraph. I noticed that a lot. A little more detial would be good - it seemed a bit 'flat' (for lack of better word.) But nice work! Very cute ending. :)

Author's Response: Okay, well I know I should take one, I am good at finding other peoples grammar mistakes but when I write I just can't find my own mistakes.
* smiles sheepishly*
Thanks for the lovely review!
Elvengirl


 Report Review

Review #10, by awAND4awAND Work buddies

13th May 2007:
nice first chapter.
i love the whole idea behind it.
great job!


Author's Response: Thanks!!!

 Report Review

Review #11, by Broken_Innocence Work buddies

12th May 2007:
interesting french there...i loved the story it makes the reader feel all tingly inside. It was a very interesting view point from there as it was never really discussed how they got together. I loved it and you should be proud.

Author's Response: Hehe, I know! lol
Well, that was the main meaning of the story, to make the reader tingly inside.
Thanks for the review.
Elvengirl


 Report Review

Review #12, by Diandra Work buddies

30th April 2007:
Really cute, I liked it a lot!

Author's Response: Thanks!!!

 Report Review

Review #13, by lolhee Work buddies

28th April 2007:
I loved the fact that you used bill as a character, that doesn't happen offten, and you did a great job on using him. Way to go, this is a very interesting story.

Author's Response: Thanks!!! I love it that you responded so well on this story because I had some doubts about it.

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login