Second person perspective is hard to write, but you've managed to pull it off, the only other people I could think of being Taure and jbern in terms of fanfiction. It helps us get into Harry's head. well done :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! I enjoy writing with the second person, it's a personal favourite of mine, but so many people dislike it, I'm glad tosee that it went over well. Thank you so much for all of your kind reviews! Report Review
Wow, this was really, REALLY good. Typically the second person irks me, but it seemed to fit with the tone of this story. It really did put the reader more into it--I found, as I read, that reading it really was giving me a good connection to the character (who, by the way, was quite well-written.) And all that also goes for the use of the present tense.
The only thing that bothered me (because I am a crazy spelling geek) was that you put "loose" and "loosing" instead of "lose" and "losing". Especially because "loosing", I might add, is not a word.
Anyways. Excuse such minor corrections, I'm just crazy and meticulous like that.
I really liked the second-to-last paragraph because...well, I can't really describe it. Maybe it's because it's just too great for words. Maybe it's because it's 2:14 and tomorrow is Mother's Day and so I'm afraid because I'm probably going to have to get up far earlier than my body wants to. But it was great.
In short, great story, and now I really really have to go to sleep.Author's Response: Ack...yeah, a lack of sleep when editing can do that to you sometimes. And "loosing" is a word. Just not one you hear often. (As in "we were loosing the hounds of hell")
And be crazy and meticulous I like it. It's nice to find my mistakes.
And thank you most of all, for enjoying it, it was a fun experimental piece, and it's very nice to know that you like it. Report Review
great. just great. Well done, putting us into Harry's shoes.
10/10Author's Response: Thank you, all I can do is try. Thank you for enjoying! Report Review
You know you're talented, don't you? I really like your writing style and I quite enjoyed this story. The second person narrative was particularly affective and I love all of Harry's thoughts during this...it rang true, in ways I would have never thought possible, and really made me thinking. I'm not exactly sure what I really like about this one, but it's just...good. Quite a different look at the final Voldemort/Harry confrontation. It just flowed so much better than all those other fics about it that I've read. Although obviously JKR won't do it like this (and who cares if she won't?) I quite liked your approach. And the end...oh my God, so affective! I love the last line. I'll definitely be on the look-out for more stories by you; they're quite different from things I write, but you've got this gritty, appreciating sense of the harshness of the world that I really like. They're also controversial (not in the norm, rather), which is a compliment, especially since I love anything the least bit "controversial" these days, and few can write good controversy. Anyhow, very nice job! =)Author's Response: Thank you! I like the second person, its a nice jarring shock from first and third person, and this was intended to be a shock fic. I wouldn't put it past JK to have an ending like this written, where Voldemort wins, but it's not goin to be the canon one. I like writing the shock fic that isn't lovey dovey romance, writing is about verismillitude, at least to me. Thank you so much! Report Review
This might be reading it wrong but...I like the allusion to the atomic bomb. The counting down, the idea of world annihilation in just a moment's time; a rather interesting take on the last fight. Author's Response: Thank you. It was a little fleeting idea that stuck. And refused to leave. Glad to see someone enjoyed it. Report Review
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