I did like it! That was cute. And funny, liked how you worked Umbridge in there XD
10/10 ;D Report Review
I loved this, it was so cute! The characters were slightly AU, but I think it made it more fun, in a way. Also loved the last line, strangely similar to your other fic, The Boyfriend List, huh? Coincidence. :D Report Review
Can I just say how intriguing that story summary was?! Bravo.
This story was preeetty cute! The ending with James telling her he loves her was a little too fluffy for me, but other than that, it was nice :) I really enjoyed the way you made James ask if she's told anyone about them. It really could've gone both ways!
Quite adorable, if I must say so myself :DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! Haha, I do rather like the summary for this one, thanks!
The ending - I couldn't help myself :P I'm a sucker for happy endings! I should make it a little more realistic...
Thanks so much for reading! I'm sorry this response took so long! Report Review
nice. i liked the little bit with the invisibility potion. could just imagine what lily looks like with him not there :) lol would be hilarious. another excellent ficAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! It would look terribly strange, I'm sure :) Report Review
here with your requested review :)
I'm not really a fan of songfics, so I mainly ignored the lyrics- the story made perfect sense without them, and I couldn't say whether they add anything.
I also mainly ignored the fact that this was about 'Lily' and 'James', and look at it as more of an original fiction. It might have worked better with two different characters (I can see this as a JamesII/OC or a Scorpius/OC), but, hey, you're the author.
That said, I mostly enjoyed this (except for the voice in my head reminding me who this was about). The description was generally pretty good, without going overboard. Your Lily and James were consistant, stayed in character, and were pretty likable, as well as believable teenagers- Lily's blind stubborness- something I can relate to (*coughmysister*) and James' general being-an-idiot ... ness ...
Anyway. Well written, and I had a good time reading it :)
~macAuthor's Response: Thank you for the suggestions - yes, I did create the story first as a one-shot then added the lyrics. That said, the song inspired the story so it felt right to incorporate them :) And the characters - well, this was written pre-DH, so I didn't really know they existed, lol, but you are right...I'm just a Lily/James fan, haha. I just wanted a critical opinion :) Also, thank you for the lovely compliments, as well! I'm glad you enjoyed it :) Report Review
I'm not exactly sure I liked the plot of the story, but I think it was very well written and the lyrics really added to the whole experience. A lot of times writters have lyrics that have absolutely nothing to do with the story, but not you. Good story.Author's Response: Thank you for the honest review :) I'm glad you liked the writing and the lyrics. I always try to choose appropriate ones, so that really does mean a lot! Thanks again! Report Review
Great job. A few places where you missed a words, but it was nothing major. I really liked it. Especially that song you included, it is one of my favorite songs. I'm glad that you made that AN, because otherwise I would have gotten confused in the beginning. But it was very passionate written, and I really liked it :)Author's Response: Thank you for pointing that out :) I plan to brush up this story and neaten it up a bit, so I'll be sure to look for that! And as for the A/N, that was the idea - it's kind of a different take on the Lily/James relationship and I really wanted to make clear about the preconceptions behind the story :) I'm really glad you like it, though, thanks for the awesome review! Report Review
Yes, finally! Finally after so long time, I found it (because you have secrets instead of secret I couldn't search for it). I remember reading this before I became a member of this site, and I loved it, though sorry for not leaving a review at that time. But I just want to say this story is the reason why I started listening to AAR, and now I'm a huge fan. Thank you.
I love it and even though I'm a very canon person I really enjoyed this, both times.
I love how you have James a typical man here. Afraid to show feelings and tell Lily he's actually fallen for her. It must have been so hard for him. And even worse when he hurt her feelings.
This; "Oooh.he was good." and what came before simply made me smile. I pictured it in my mind and than she was thinking that... It's just such a great part and it really shows that Lily is so into him also.
But then what comes... Lily's anger is so well showed. She knows (or think she knows) what it is they have, and there's no need for them to talk about it. I think the reason it hits her, is because in some sorrrt of way, it's such an embarresing situation, that he actually asks her, and I completely understands her. It's touch, especially with a person like this Lily - vulnerable and very self-conscious.
And then, when she gets mad at James, he goes into defence, protecting his pride by attacking her with words, which he probably knows hurts her. Again, typical boy/man. Well showed here.
And I like how you ended it all. Slowly wrapping it up. First when he tells her, and then they get kicked out, getting things wrapped up. It's nicely ended, slow but not too much. Just perfect.
Really, I love this story. It's really good and well written. It has a nice flow and it doesn't go into unnecessary details. You keep a fine line through it all. Love it!Author's Response: Um, okay. Is it creepy to say I love you? Lol, thanks for the insanely awesome review! You must have spent a bit of time on it, and that is so incredibly flattering! This story is actually one of the best (in my opinion anyway) that I have written, so I love it when people like it! Anyway, I'll answer this with titles so I can comment on all of it :)
Canon: I actually did try to keep this canon when i first started to write it, but when I looked at what I had written, I hated it. I decided, screw it, it would be so much more real if I just abandoned canon and went with what I wanted :) I'm glad you liked the non-canon-ness about this, it's actually one of the reasons why I liked writing it :3
James: Thanks so much! I've never written James so cold before, so it's lovely to hear that he is still likeable.
Lily: Yes, she is vulnerable and self-conscious and she HAS always loved him - but she can't admit it. I'm glad to her she can related to - again, this is the first time I've written her like this (a loser, victim and kind of weaker than she is usually portrayed as). It's flattering to hear :)
Ending: The ending was unexpected - I had a completely different one set up but then this one came and I couldn't resist! Thanks for commenting on it!
Anyway, thanks again and again and again for the awesome review! It's pretty much made my day! Report Review
I read this one shot a long time ago, back when I didn't have an account. But,it's still just as good. I love how it's different, and AU. It's really good, and dark. I love the happy ending, no matter how cliche happy endings are. I loved the ending when James and lily kiss when James is invisible. Well, great one!Author's Response: Thank so much! Everyone loves a happy ending, I think, no matter how much they deny it - sad ones are just more dramatic and poetic, haha. Thanks again for reading and reviewing! Report Review
an interesting way of putting their relationship ;)Author's Response: Thank you :) Report Review
ABSOLUTLY LOVED IT! IT WAS AMAZING!Author's Response: Thanks so much :) It means a lot. Report Review
i love it.
this is so great.Author's Response: Thank you :) Report Review
that was really really really good!! I loved it!!! and i love the way James was all like my secret is that i love you! it was so sweet!! I love it!!!Author's Response: Thanks so much! Glad you like it :) Report Review
oooh i really liked it! its not often that lily is portrayed as having no friends. and i dont usually like stories with lyrics in them because i usually dont think the lyrics are that well chosen, but yours was really good. i dont know that song, but i think ill have to check it out. =DAuthor's Response: Do, do, it's a pretty good song...annoying after listening a dozen times for inspirations sake, but still good lol :) Report Review
Ohhh I love it. Tis very cute and fluffish. :)Author's Response: Thanks :) Report Review
I thought this was a great story. It sounded like an actual book, and captured the essence of Lily/James's relationship perfectly. Keep up the great work!Author's Response: Thanks so much :) I had heaps of fun writing this, so I'm really happy when people like it :) Report Review
for some reason I'm not logged in anymore hmph. Okay well i loved it. Funny! 9/10Author's Response: Hmm, odd :S Thanks for the review! Report Review
thats a lovely story :]Author's Response: Thanks! I liked writing it :) Report Review
Love it! And the song lyrics fit perfectly.Author's Response: Thank you :3 Report Review
aww that was really good! a complete new twist on things. your writing style is really good and i loved how you wrote the characters!Author's Response: Thank so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
Great one!Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
i like the ending but i don't the beginning b'se james would never call lily a mudblood whore or consider himself superior b'se his pure-blood.Author's Response: He didn't consider himself better than her because of blood status. He just knew he was more popular than her. And Lily called herself that. People who have been bullied tend to degrade themselves. Thanks for the review =] Report Review
THAT WAS AMAZING
and can i just say it seems like you have excelent taste in music lol
my chem, all american rejects and the chilli peppers
they are all fab
anyway yes great story
im so glad it was different from all the other JP/LE fanfics i've read
o yeah can u tell me wot AU stands for please sorry im kind of new :S
xAuthor's Response: Haha, thank you =] AU stands for alternate universe (I think, correct me if I am wrong) and it basically means, though it has the basic themes of the HP books, it is not compatible with what we know - i.e. saying Harry's parents are alive, when they are clearly dead =] Report Review
I loved it! Something unique, different, and cliche free. Well done! :DAuthor's Response: Thank you, you made me smile! Report Review
wow.. that was a COMPLETELY different take!! oo i loved it!!! the song matched perfectly! well done! added to my favs!Author's Response: Thank you! I really like this story, I had fun writing it, so I am really glad you like it too =] Report Review
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