Another great chapter so update soon! Again with the format but I managed. 10/10

Luv,
~*Ashley*~

Author's Response: thank you! :]

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I don't like it...I LOVE IT! This is awesome! The only thing you need to change is the format. Its confusing you should space it out instead of putting them into big paragraphs. For example:

“What’s so funny Wormtail?” asked Sirius curiously. “Oh, nothing,” lied Peter, as he continued to snicker some more. “Well, goodnight then,” Remus said to his fellow Marauders as he turned out his lights, crawled into bed, and pulled his curtains closed. “Goodnight,” James, Sirius, and Peter answered in unison. But James wasn’t tired, he knew he would not be able to sleep easily that night. Eventually he did fall asleep, but as he did, he could start to feel the hunger in his stomach growing stronger and stronger, and couldn’t wait until breakfast the next morning!

Revised:

“What’s so funny, Wormtail?” asked Sirius curiously.

“Oh, nothing,” lied Peter, as he continued to snicker some more.

“Well, goodnight then,” Remus said to his fellow Marauders as he turned out his lights, crawled into bed, and pulled his curtains closed.

“Goodnight,” James, Sirius, and Peter answered in unison.

But James wasn’t tired, he knew he would not be able to sleep easily that night. Eventually he did fall asleep, but as he did, he could start to feel the hunger in his stomach growing stronger and stronger, and couldn’t wait until breakfast the next morning.

Just some consrtutive crtism sweetie. 10/10 from me because even though the format was confusing it was awesome and had a strong plot to it. Great job!


Author's Response: thanks. i deffinatly do appriciate the cunstructive critism though.
if you ever see anything that could do with improving, jus let me know!

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I like it.
Moremoremore! =D

Author's Response: i will be updating soon! thank you!

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Very good. =]].

Author's Response: thank you! :)

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