OMG that was amazing!!! I never really thought of Ron/Hermione that way, but you've just put everything into a whole new (and much better) perspective for me :D Keep up the good work
LilyLuna xx Report Review
Just...OMG!!! topmarks Report Review
omg this is so awesome, you're such a great writer! =) please keep writing r/hr fanfics! Report Review
OMG that was amazing i actually cried lol!!! Report Review
i... i cant even think of a word that described the feelings i felt after reading this.
i looove ron and hermione and this was just.. amazing ! Report Review
♥ Report Review
That was so cute! Ron's way of telling Hermione he liked her was so good!! I loved itAuthor's Response: I'm so glad. Thanks for the praise! Report Review
I think that you wrote Ron's full name out too many times - Ron is better than Ronald which seems too much like his mother is calling/talking to him in an angered sort of way... Ron is short, sweet and to the point. Amazing description but I'm not sure I liked it better than JK's version. Well done over all =DAuthor's Response: When I read over my story after reading your comment, I totally understood what you were talking about. I'm going to edit that as soon as possible!
God, JK's version was so perfection. No one could possible live up to that one, but I'm glad you enjoyed it for what it is!!
Thank you for the review :) Report Review
YAY! it was ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS! i LUV it!
very, VERY good job!
u r a very talented artist!Author's Response: Aww I'm so glad! Thank you so very much. Report Review
That was SO good!!! I LOVED it! Oh my goodness! It's so romantic and everything too. Oh gosh that's great.Author's Response: Thanks for all the praise!
I'm glad you enjoyed it =]
xxx Report Review
ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL! I loved every word of it! Great job! I could picture it so well as I read it. Amazing work!Author's Response: Thank you so much!
I'm glad you liked it...and thanks for the review =]
xxx Report Review
This was amazing! I have an incredibly short attention span and often find myself skimming paragraphs but this kept me reading right through, honest. I loved every word; you portrayed the characters so well. I really felt, reading it, like I was at the Burrow on an early summer's morning.
The only thing I spotted was this: "What if Ron doesn’t like her like that?" As the rest of the story is in the past tense, technically this line should read "What if Ron didn't like her like that?" As it would fit the context.
Otherwise you did a fantastic job and I really enjoyed reading this story. Thanks for writing it!Author's Response: Oh, I'm so glad you said that, because I have the same problem! I am guilty of skimming many a paragraph...but it is so nice to read that my story held your attention.
Thanks for the tip about tenses. I tend to mess those up every once and a while.
Thanks for the review =]
xxx Report Review
Hey chd1026 !
1) Organization and spacing: Very neatly done, you used italics when appropriate, you used the line tool *fawns at the neat and tidy chapter* you never once forgot to space, perfect! (2/2)
2) Paragraphs and pacing: Great here too, paragraphs exist they're not huge (though some are bordering it) , they're not one line long, and so you've nailed this point. Not in the least bit rushed, you went as slow as possible, letting us enjoy every moment of it, brilliantly done. Obviously another full mark. (2/2)
3) Length: Just right; not too long, no where near too short. Wow, you're on a roll (1/1)
4) Grammar and Spelling: It looks like I spoke too soon, I found a couple of mistakes here (See general comments), I'm sorry but I'm going to have to take off a mark here (1/2)
5) Characterization and Writing style: You wrote Hermione beautifully, her emotions, her fear, her insecurities, she was absolutely perfect Ron was good too, with the ears going read, twiddling his thumbs, and all that. But how on earth did he come up with that broom ride? He doesn't seem like the romantic type, it was a tiny bit OOC to me, but not enough to take marks off. Also what I love about your style was how beautify descriptive it was, not too mention poetic, I could almost see that sunrise. (2/2)
So you have a final result of (9/10)
OK, so here are the mistakes that I took points off for in the grammar section
1) that "she was covered her body" at the moment did you mean "she was covering her body with" or something?
2)shouting a laughing. I think you meant shouting and laughing here.
Hermione's insecurities were so well thought out, they just contributed to a great characterization, and led to a really good story. And I loved just how much Ron could effect her just by having "his hand brushing lightly against hers", that was just so cute!
Now, I had no idea this would be so "Fluffy" and I love my fluff ;) it's ridiculously heartwarming, and I was just going "Aw," and by the end of it I just wanted a romantic broom ride too *pouts* lol who wouldn't?
I can't comment on anything else it was just too good, GREAT JOB! *lol*
Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time for such a thorough review!!
I really appreciate it.
I'm glad you enjoyed it, and that it passed with flying colors =]
I understand where you're coming from with Ron being OOC, but I just feel that he has to step up SOME time. He can't always be timid and unromantic...that's what the whole Lavender incident did to him. He's changed since then, and that's why JKR made that realationship happen.
Just my thoughts!
And I totally agree. I want Ron to take ME on a broom ride too!
Thank you again for this wonderful review..,it's so nice to read stuff like this.
xxx Report Review
This was so wonderfully...Hermoine! Great characterization of both Hermoine and Ron. Everything flowed very nicely, and you described everything very very well. I love it! Adding it to my favorites =)
Author's Response: Aw thank you so much!
I'm really glad you liked it...and the description took a LOT of time to get right. Thankfully it came out pretty well =]
Thanks for the review and favorites!!
xxx Report Review
omg! I am absolutely in LOVE with the Ron-Hermione ship!! This is a great story...i can only hope that they actually get together in the last book! *crosses fingers*Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it.
I know. If they don't get together I think I'll throw myself off a cliff. Well...maybe not but I'll consider it =]
Thanks for the review! Report Review
Really good job!
I enjoyed it very much and it was quite original. Keep up the good work!Author's Response: Aw thank you!
I'm glad you liked it, and I appreciate the review =] Report Review
No Complaints. Praise, yep. Great job I didn't even really think it was like H/G untill you pointed it out, great job:)Author's Response: Hehe I'm glad you liked it!
Thanks for the review =] Report Review
Hello there, it's mischiefmanaged for the forums! The banner really caught my eye as I started to read, it's really beautiful! You managed to blend romance, fluff and drama into one simple package! Good job.Author's Response: Hey!
Thank you so much =]
The banner is by the wonderful a+o over at TDA...check out her gallery. It's really quite good!
Thanks for the review!
xxx Report Review
Usually, I tend to stay away from Ron/Hermione interactions because so few can get the characterization right, winding up overplaying the tendencies of either one. And so often that "magical broom ride" idea is overdone and...yech.
But you've managed, quite skillfully, to avoid that. I really loved the interactions--perfectly awkward, but with the familiarity of two people who have been friends for going on seven years. The tone was neither brusque nor overly-ornate, but the happy medium in between that I like to call "matter of fact". It's got both, in the proper amounts.
When I read a good story--book, fanfic, magazine article, poem, whatever--I always feel like I could just sink into it, and kudos to you, I sank right in. It felt perfectly naturally to be reading it and the story itself felt natural. In retrospect, it actually reminded me of Aladdin (I've been on a Disney movie binge lately, so that thing kind of jumps out at me).
I did wonder why Hermione didn't go to her parents house at all, and what on Earth prompted Ron's "let's take a walk", but you made me ignore those things. Usually they would just bug me the whole way through.
Excellent, excellent job. Thank you.Author's Response: Oh wow!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this so much...it makes me really happy.
I feel like with my stories, I do use certain cliches...but I don't use them in that generic way. I'm happy that you thought that this was a unique way of expressing the 'broomstick ride to the stars' idea!
Ohh I totally see what you mean about Aladdin! 'A Whole New World?' =]
It didn't say that Hermione went to her parents? *worried look* Uh-oh. That would bug me too! I'll go edit that right now.
Well, Ron wanted to talk to her about their whole relationship...just like Hermione wanted to, but was too afraid to say anything. Him asking to go for a walk was setting up the whole evening he had planned.
Does that make a little more sense?
Thank you for all the compliments!
I'm so, so glad you liked it so much.
Thanks for the review =]
xxx Report Review
Hey there! It's me, VampireKisses here at your reviewing request. Now you said I could be honest, so brace yourself.
It was definetly fluffy, and fluff isn't necessarily my favorite of genres (I'm more of the dark, angsty romance, and action and adventure girl) but this was good, I must admit. There were a few kinks that I discovered along reading this. One, is that the magic people by all means DO NOT wear muggle clothes unless they have to. This is a common mistake that I'm sure more than a few authors have made but I couldn't help but shy away from those desctiptions. Another is the characterizations and situations. For me, they were above average but not as well as they could be. Like Ron. You made me as a reader (and Ron fangirl) get the strong impression that Ron is a heck of a hottie but some of his dialogue and things he did was bit off key for me. I found it kind of...odd they were doing this flying escaped at night. And to get back to the dialogue I don't think I could picture Ron saying “Fine then, suit yourself!” Ron said as he hopped onto the Firebolt and immediately zoomed into the night sky. I have no idea why. But on the other hand I loved his speech he made declaring his love for hermione. It was so romantic. Overall I liked it, and I even put this in my favorites!
XxVampireXxAuthor's Response: I'm definitely not a fluff person either! I was just in that sort of mood...you know?
Anyway, I'm glad that you liked it. I DO know that they don't wear muggle clothes, but it seemed simpler to have her toss on some comfortable clothes than have her put on a robe...I don't know. I just couldn't imagine it. Thanks for pointing that out though!
Hmmmm well I do see what you mean about Ron. I haven't really perfected his character yet, but I guess he seems more confident in the beginning because he's built himself up for those moments before the broomride. However, once they're up in the air and he blurts out that little bit about spending the rest of his life with her, all his pre-rehersed speeches go down the drain and he has to speak from the heart...so he becomes more "Ron-ish."
Oh, I'm so glad you liked his speech! If a boy told me those things, I think I'd faint. Probably why I wrote it like that =]
Favorites? Sweet! Thanks so much.
This has been one of the most helpful reviews I've recieved...thank you!
Beautifully written! I love the story, it's so sweet :)Author's Response: Aw thanks so much!
I'm glad you liked it =] Report Review
I LOVE IT! SO MUCH!Author's Response: Aw thank you so much!
=] Report Review
Omg i LOVE this story!it's short but still verrry good!im adding it 2 my favorites(=
my rating=10/10!Author's Response: Yay!!
I'm so glad you liked it...Thanks for the review!
xx Report Review
Hello dear! Here I am to review your story! By the way, very cute banner! I love it! Those two are so cute! (o:
This was a very nice one shot. I like Ron/Hermione stories and I can’t wait to find out how it finally (hopefully!) happens. Anyway, it was a delight to read this. You’re a good author and I enjoyed it!
Whether it was a subtle smile or his hand brushing lightly against hers, Hermione’s heart would begin fluttering wildly whenever he was near her, beating with such power she felt it might burst through her very chest. Excellent portrayal of her feelings. I like reading the effects on her rather than simply that she liked him, etc (o:
the year that the trio knew would be their last. Personal pet peeve, but JKR never calls them the trio. That’s fanon. (o: I’d suggest ‘the three of them’ or something else…
Nice description of Ginny’s room. You’re talented at writing descriptions. (o:
She watched the bass doorknob slowly turn, Should be ‘brass.’ I had a momentary funny image of a bass guitar or a bass fish. The fish was my favourite. (o:
Good work describing Hermione’s clothing. I hate reading about clothing, honestly, and I usually never write about it, but you used lots of action words and did it the best way possible. (o: Congrats! I wish lots of young authors could read that paragraph and see how to do it, if they must include clothing. (o:
Haha, Hermione’s thinking was so like a girl – being asked to take a walk isn’t getting married! Hehe, oh how a girl’s mind jumps to conclusions!
Hermione smiled stupidly and strode over towards Ron, growing fond of her legs that, unlike the rest of her body, were not being gits and actually managing to function. This sentence was a bit cumbersome, but after the 2nd reading of it, I realised I LOVED it, hehe. Too cute.
Lol, Hermione slung over his shoulder. What a precarious position to be in! Eeep! And Wow, such closeness on a broom!! *gets the jitters* Great job describing all the touch and hands and body warmth. I imagine it’d be pretty fun to ride a broom in the arms of a boy you fancy. (o;
Very cute, love it! Awesome on the broom, nice tingly kiss and I loved how you worked the title in as the last line. (o: This was an excellent Ron/Hermione story and you should be proud of it. (o:Author's Response: Wow!! Thank you so much for the AMAZING review.
I'm glad you've noticed the subtle things that I worked very hard on, such as the descriptions of her feelings and the general feel of the broom ride.
I'll go fix up that typo, and thanks for the tip about "the trio".
I'm SO glad you enjoyed it!
=] Report Review
woah. this is absolutely awesome, you're an amazing writer.. ahh, if only this was a category in the writer's duel..mad props. =))Author's Response: Hehe thank you so much!
Check back soon for chapter seven! Report Review
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