That was truly beautifully written. I'm glad I read this one-shot. First of all, because I like both those characters, especially Remus. You wrote his feelings and emotions very well. I really had the feeling I could read his thoughts. That sounded true. It sounded like Remus sounds in my opinion.
Then Sirius. First, you wrote him like I can imagine him to be when he was a young man. I'm glad you didn't write him as a womanizer, a teen who only thought of enjoying life. I don't think he was that kind of boy. A man who can spend twelve years in Azkaban out of loyalty and friendship can't be like that. So I'm very glad you gave him depth. I really liked what he told Remus, about hate.
I did like the emotions in this fic. You did great. And it flowed effortlessly. Good job!Author's Response: Aww, thanks! I'm with you about Sirius - I don't like to read him in that light either. I don't see him as the type to take advantage at all. Report Review
I really liked this, it had a little slash tone in it, but it was non the less wonderful. I was intreaged by the talk between the guys, and I really liked the ending part with the wet willy, those things are gross, but they are funny when you give someone one.
You are a great author, and I can't wait to read more of your works. Lolhee (Dance with Draco)
Author's Response: Originally, this was supposed to be more slash, actually, so it's funny that you bring that up. =) I'm glad like you like it, thanks for the review. Report Review
THANKYOUCHELSEYTHANKYOUCHELSEYTHANKYOUCHELSEYTHANKYOUCHELSEY. I know you really didn't feel like doing this fic a lot of the time, and that you had to almost force yourself, but I cannot be more grateful that you did it for me and all your other readers out there. And, guess what? Sometimes when you force yourself to write something, the end result can be pretty damned good, which is what this is.
I dunno, maybe I'm just biased because is has been dedicated to me (:-P), but this is the most awesomest fic I've read in a while. Since I definitely owe you a good extensive long review, here it is:
When I read the first few paragraphs and discovered it was an "end-of-Hogwarts-graduation-for-the-marauders" sort of area, I was a little iffy. But this definitely turned out to be something completely different than my initial opinions. I feel like it's though you've turned an ordinary conversation into an extraordinary one, which is obviously a good bit of it's excellenticity (I invented that word on the spot; what do you think? ;-) ). Remus's reminiscent and nostalgic act of blowing the grass is very cute, and I enjoy how you have Sirius do it at the end, bringing things full circle.
And somewhere around the fifth or sixth paragraph, when you were writing about how MWPP had fun competitions all the time. Something you said there just clicked for me. I don't know how to really describe it, but ill try. It was right at "that was what made James James." There was just sort of this moment where I really got this new insight into their characterization. James is the kind of person who would take those silly little competitions seriously, trying to be the best; try to win them. There I thought: "what would the other three be doing?". Sirius would be laughing at everybody, joking, just enjoying the moment. Peter would try hard to impress the other three, although failing a bit and just embarrassing himself. And Remus would sort of sit back and look at the three of them, just glad that he had friends, and marveling at how lucky he was. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I just...I dunno. I can't describe it. And now I sound like a weirdo. ah well.
When Sirius entered the scene, the picture painted in my mind of Remus squinting up at Sirius's brightly haloed silhouette is very vivid. Dunno what sort of image you were thinking about for that bit, but you must have sent me some brainwaves on it. Or it was just written very well. Gah.
When we go to the conversation between these two lovely fictional young men, I actually got really pissed off (as Remus was) at Sirius's "oh, that's what this is all about?" or whatever. You sucked me in, my friend. I think you do well writing Remus, I really got immersed into his character here. Probably second best after your portrayal of Harry.
"Or, you know, you could sell your liver." He certainly could. I almost laughed at myself after this line, because I actually considered the possibility that the canon Lupin may have actually done this, which would account for part of his poor health. Then I came out of stupidland. Anyway, great line there.
Sirius's speech about how the negatives in life are necessary to add contrast to the positives and stuff was good. Gave us something to think about without being too cheesy. Same with Remus's mental tangent on hate earlier in the fic.
And, whee, Sirius gives him a wet willy! Just when I thought those boys were so grown up.
Excellent job, and once again I am eternally grateful that you did this for me, so I just want you to know that all your frustrations with it were not in vain, 'cause I've read it a couple times over already, and I still love it. Thanks!
P.S. Just saw the new Turtles movie. If you haven't caught it yet, DO SO. And with friends, too. The awesomeness is overwhelming. There are some parts that reminded HP dorks like myself so much of the Marauders. And I wasn't even thinking about your recent LJ post at the time. I'm telling you, some good scenes with Leonardo and Raphael that remind me eerily of James and Sirius's friendship. *Snort*Author's Response: Oh my GOODNESS. I don't know how to respond to this. I'm so overwhelmed! THANK YOU! So very, very much! *takes a deep breath* You know, it wasn't as big of a hassle as you think it was. Once I got to the part where Remus brought up the hatred to Sirius, it all went pretty smoothly. It was just getting the first 3/4 done, haha! I'm so happy you enjoyed it, more so than anyone else because I did write it with you in mind, and I tried to hard to make sure this Remus and Sirius were similar to my other Remus and Sirius-es.Excellenticity. Haha, I love it. =D And the grass blowing stuff actually wasn't in the fic at all at first, that was entirely unplanned, on the spot writing. Turned out to be more important that I'd thought. =) And the competitions! You've so got their characters right. At least, you've got them how I was looking at them when I wrote this. Sirius, especially, I wanted to make happier without being too clichéd. You don't sound like a weirdo at all. =DMe, good at Lupin? Oooh, you flatter me. =) Thank you. I do like writing Lupin, so perhaps he'll pop up more. ;)I LOVE THE LIVER LINE! Haha, it's my favourite of the entire thing. It's like "Peter is my kitchen!" is to Remus In Colour, right? Or at least to me it is. =)The wet willy was just to make them seem younger, yeah. The way I see it, Remus has always rushed in growing up - I mean, being a werewolf at such a young age has to have something to that affect - and the other Marauders were there to remind him that he can't grow up so fast. =)No need to thank me! I need to thank YOU, because you inspired this and then left one of the best reviews EVER. =) You're the best, doll. I'm so happy you liked this. *sigh of relief*I tried to go see it yesterday (the day it came out, obviously!) but I couldn't find anyone to go! RAWR. I'm so excited. It sounds like my kind of movie, the way you're describing it. =) And if you liked it, I'll probably like it. Haha. Thanks again for this awesome review. I appreciate this and all your other reviews so much, I can't describe it. Report Review
This was terrific. A sequel would be good. Maybe were Remus goes after school? And how close their friendship stays? This story has a lot of potential, and with a beginning this good, I'd hate for it to be left untapped.Author's Response: Thank you very much! It's to awesome to hear that you enjoyed it enough to want a sequel. I don't know, though. That depends on where my writing takes me and when inspiration hits. I'll keep it in mind when I'm brainstorming new ideas. ;) Thanks again! Report Review
That was very nicely done! And very inciteful. You write very well, keep it up!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
good one. i really like the way you present the characters. great. keep up the good work.Author's Response: Thanks very much! =) Report Review
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