This is amazing. "She was a prisoner of her own mind" is so inspirational. You are a brilliant author! Report Review
I really don't know what to say.
Good job. Report Review
Wow, that was incredible. You're descriptions are fantastic, and I had really vivid pictures of what was going on in this story. It really was chilling, and the end was really haunting. 10/10
Cassie :) Report Review
WOW. I did not expect that! All the way through I was trying to decide who she was, not in a million years did I think of Pansy. WOW! Report Review
Way to blow. my. mind. Report Review
Whoa. This is REALLY good! I thought it was Draco and Hermione 'cause that's what it sounded like for most of the time. Wow! I'm shocked. You're a great author, you should be published!
10/10 Report Review
That was disturbing, but I honestly mean that in a good way. It was beautiful. I had no idea who the characters were at first, obviously, but I love how all my sympathy went out to Pansy, and how I felt some sort of anger towards Harry (all before I knew the characters). I think that's how you wanted it to be, because it's all about perspective, isn't it? That was amazing. I loved it. Report Review
you know, i feel really confused at the moment. in turmoil. when the story started off, i thought it was hermione in the room, and malfoy taunting her. and at the end, it was harry and pansy. was that how you wanted the story to affect the reader? it seemed so definite, and then everything is turned upside down. her family they killed? i was so sure it was hermione.
nice work, on the story, by the way. Report Review
You! You! You! I cannot BELIEVE you! You are in such deep, deep trouble! ^_^. I utterly and completely fell for it! You know I am a Dramione addict and I was utterly sure that's what this was! And then - boom - it's Harry! It's Pansy! And my mind was blown and, of course, I had to go reread it over and over again and marvel at your amazing writing skills! You fiend! =) How am I supposed to review when you've left me speechless? You are so tricky, Celtic! ^_- And you have pulled off one of your spectacular endings once again. I honestly think I just died.
The way you built the characters from the beginning is quite astounding- because it makes sense both during the first read through and afterwards once you have struck the reader with your lightening bolt. Your title is a perfect fit- because that's exactly what Pansy has sunken into. She is trapped within her own mind, and the way you have written her mind being broken is incredibly realistic and vivid. I think describing the room was a perfect setup, because in a way it is a physical representation of Pansy's mind. The room was once beautiful but it has lost its sheen- the window once allowed light but now it is so contaminated only sparse rays filter through. It really is heart breaking.
Harry's character is absolutely fascinating- and what's even more disturbing is that you can clearly follow a path from his portrayal in cannon to this, using the war as a catalyst. The way he is seen by Pansy is quite transfixing to the reader, and the distortion of her mind is completely authentic with the rest of her character. One can see how Harry is attempting to get her to change to the Order's side and his frustration on the second time through, yet can completely understand and side with Pansy, despising him and everything he stands for on the first time around. I think it's a real show of mastery that you have created a story in which a reader can completely and utterly despise Harry on the first time through. I've never seen it done- and that's when you know that you truly are inside the opposition's head. Amazing - this is truly amazing, Celtic.
You handled the suspense beautifully as well- and even as the reader thought they themselves were going to snap even before Harry enters, you manage to continue to ruthlessly build the tension and Pansy's mental agony while not making it overly dramatic, unrealistic- on the contrary, it's one of the most believable pieces I have ever seen.
And of course, you write language in the way only you can. You go far beyond using it as a tool and use it as a parallel story in the sense that it follows Pansy's mental progression- from the beginning repetition in her mental cage to the ending, the longer sentences followed by the brief ones becoming the pinnacle of persuasion. "The savior, they called him." I was mentally paralyzed by that point. You are so gifted.
This is one of my favorite stories of all time- and I love your writing and I cannot believe I am lucky enough to get to watch and learn from a writer such as yourself ^_^. Amazing job, truly.
SarahAuthor's Response: Sarah - thank you for all of this. This is such a great review! (make sure you log it muahahah) You've caught on to everything I intended just as I hope would be done so I really have nothing to say other than thank you. You're the best interweb-friend a lass could hope for ^_- Report Review
This was definitely something unusually spectacular.
Dementia was such a fantastic choice for a title, because it just defines this story - we are that girl, locked away, demented, and our minds have been warped by your writing.
I mean that in the nicest way possible.
I thought from the beginning that this was a death eater versus good guy story, and I was right - it's just that I managed to mix up the characters, and I'm assuming that is what you were aiming for! It is so brilliant how you have captured Pansy's thoughts, how she sees our hero, Harry, as a bad guy when all we ever see is goodness.
To be honest, I thought the characters were Draco and Hermione. I was afraid of a Dramione ending - thank you for not writing one!
I think your technique was excellent, how you managed to keep the characters' names from the readers the whole way through, and how that revelation at the end was very much a kick in the gut for everyone! You made us see Harry has the baddie - I love it!
As far as your writing goes, I loved the opening paragraphs, the descriptions and the images you painted were so vivid. Your use of repetition throughout was really well done, and made this a most enjoyable piece to read.
10/10Author's Response: Hey heather ^_^ Thank you for such an indepth review ^_^ I am so pleased that you caught everything I was attempting to convey and I am so happy that you rode along with the main heroine as I intended. Thank you so much, again, for reading this ^_^ Report Review
Holy moly. What an interesting story.
This has totally boggled my mind. Down right amazing and superb! Thank you so much for introducing me to this story.
As always, I really don't have any CC for you. This was such an interesting story to take on, yet you tackled the challenge and rose above it. Way above it. Way to go!
The description in this was supremely amazing. I could seriously feel myself in it! Fantastic job, hon! Well done!
10/10Author's Response: Hey Drue loff. I am so glad that you read this and enjoyed it! No CC at all?? Wow, thank you ^_^ Report Review
This is very well written Celtic, I love the progression of it. When I first started reading, I thought maybe it was Hermione and Draco. It fit, all of it fit, but then you completely turned the tables. From what your thread over on Aparecium said, I had guessed there would be a twist of sorts, but this was not what I had expected at all. You completely flipped everything around, and made it something different. It was like it was all from Pansy's view point, and her thoughts that ruled how it was, and then stepping back, an observer rather than a participant, to see what was really going on. I would describe it as the entire first part, when I thought it might be Draco and Hermione, as seeing only a dark window, hands, backs, never really seeing who it is, hearing voices that aren't quite identifiable and drawing completely wrong conclusions. Then drawing back and looking at the whole picture. (I hope that made sense.)
Well done! Definitely a grade A piece :)
~ShilohAuthor's Response: Shiloh - thank you for such a great review! Yes, I am rather glad to hear you say it made you think of Draco/Hermione as that was the conclusion I was hoping to suggest in order to flip it around and get the biggest reaction ^_^. I wanted to make Pansy sympathetic and by a reader identifying with her unbiasedly as they would with, say, Hermione, I thought that may come across as more shocking. I'm really glad to hear that my perspectives translated with the imagery - thank you so much for this critique! Report Review
wow...that was intense...!!...but an amazing job!!!Author's Response: Thank you so much! Report Review
Wow, that really was amazing. I really never expected that plot twist... and the way you twisted the details to fit the twist (that sounds awkward, but you get what I'm saying, right?) was just awesome!
Great job... you definitely deserve the dobby!Author's Response: Aw thank you so much ^_^ Report Review
wow. amazing story. one of the best i've ever read.Author's Response: Thank you so much ^_^ Report Review
Well, the twist is great. I would have never imagined who are the real characters. Good job!Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
Ok, I did not see that one coming. I thought maybe it was Draco and Hannah Abbot or Parvati Patil (yeah, I don't know where I got that either) BUT was I mistaken. Awesome twist. Author's Response: Thank you very much ^_- Report Review
wow, that definatley was a twist and i would have enjoyed it more if i accidentally scrolled to the bottom heheAuthor's Response: Ha ha nice ^_- Report Review
This has been on top of my to-read list for quite a while, and I thought now that as my dad has dragged me out of bed at 10AM on a saturday morning, I may as well make use of the time. And I am so glad I did.
The elaborate descriptions, and the way you worded the situation was amazing. And wow - that twist at the end was genius. Particularly "In front of a window she herself had smeared with the dust from the furniture around her to block the world out." Absolutely amazing. Well worth the Dobby.
xAuthor's Response: Thank you very much Joojoo ^_- I am glad to hear you enjoyed it so immensely ^_^ Report Review
ooh wow that was really good! I was looking out for the plot twist but I didn't get it right...very clever! Using the song lyrics as the dialogue is such a cool idea, and it worked really wellAuthor's Response: Thank you very much ^_^ Report Review
Wow. Just wow. This was so...intense. I loved it. You have a beautiful style-very suspenseful. Amazing jobAuthor's Response: Thank you very much ^_^ Report Review
That was awesome!!! Here I am thinking it's another Dramione fic and Bam! it's Harry/Pansy! Fabulous work! As usual. 10/10 Author's Response: Thank you my dear! Report Review
This was... Amazing. I am in awe.
Author's Response: ^_^ Thank you Report Review
oh! This was BRILLIANT! When I saw this won the best plot twist [congrats, btw], I figured out what the twist was before I even read it. It was still very, very good! And I love your clever idea to use the lyrics as the dialogue. Very clever, madam. 10/10, although I wasn't as surprised as I should've been. . .Author's Response: I am glad you enjoyed it ^_- Report Review
i seriously didnt see that coming .
at first i thought it was tom riddle & someone else , then i went back and saw that this story was written in post-hogwarts .
& then i thought maybe it was draco & hermione .
i never thought it was harry...
you've shown harry in a whole new light lawl .
& the atmosphere you created ,
before the ending ,
it was brilliant .
you could even say i was a little spooked out =x
the way you built th suspense was great .
definitely 10/10 .Author's Response: Thank you so much insider! I must admit, I am glad I tricked you ^_- It was my intent! I am glad you were surprised! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection