Wow, this one is a short one but it's still great! I like it a lot and I read Once Again too and I loved both of these stories!
You really are a gifted writer!
Thanks for writing!
Keep up the awesome-beyond-awesome work!
:)Author's Response: Thank you very much. It means a lot to have you say that. Report Review
Great short story (:Author's Response: Thanks for reading it! Report Review
its a very sad story.
very well written.Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you think so! Report Review
its really good, very sad.Author's Response: Thanks for your support! Report Review
So sad.The emotion that Sirius was feeling, was perfectly explained. I was a little bit nervous to read it though, because let's face it, most people don't like reading sad stories, they just prefer happy ones. But I figured it would be a tad hypocritical if I didn't try it, because I'm kind of writing a dark one myself. Actually I used to write one, but I've kind of dropped it for a few months. Sad I know. Anyway, love it! The writing is excellent and I'm so happy that you had the skill to portray what Sirius felt perfectly.
dramaqueen6Author's Response: I'm very happy that you enjoyed this short story. I agree, it is fairly dark, but I'm glad you took a chance and read it anyway. Thanks for taking the time to review! Report Review
It's a so close, yet so far thing. I hate those. I really [b]hate[/b] those. Sirius is the godfather and he wants to take care of Harry. He has all of these wonderful, great ideas for just the two of them... but it's all taken away when Harry is to be taken away. Dumbledore has his reasons for ordering Hagrid to take Harry to his relatives. I honestly don't know what to say anymore but the fact that I'm sorry for Sirius. Everything that was ever good in life is now taken away and he's left to rot in whatever you can call his life...Author's Response: I definitely hated the way it turned out. But then again, if it didn't happen then we wouldn't have this amazing Harry Potter series, now would we?
But Sirius has had it rough. I hate everything he's been through and I honestly think he'll never get over what happened. He's broken, in a way.
Anyway, I'm super happy you came over to read this and reviewed. You're awesome! Report Review
With a few grammatical mistakes, it's okay. But wow. I was almost in tears when Sirius was running, just to make sure they were okay. And the saddest part is that they weren't. I think that's what got me. It's like your running towards something you're completely afraid of,you know the fate of, but still hope that nothing is wrong. Sirius was running without a care in the world, with such a great adrenaline for his best friend and his family. I liked how you first began it when Sirius went for Peter, but everything clicked as he saw the dead figures of his friends. Just imagine, living through all of that. I think that's honestly why I cry so much when I read. I put myself there, and it was terrible while reading...Author's Response: Haha, yeah, I haven't read this story in quite a while so I sort of forget all that was happening. The running...yes, it was an emotional bit and I'm really happy that you enjoyed it. I really like writing the scenes where Sirius discovered the bodies. I'm practicing with emotion, you see, and this was a great way to do so. Anyway, glad to see my VTM buddy is finally around here.=] Report Review
Wow. Thats one of the only things I can say. Wow. =].
I've pondered the fact to write a fanfiction about what Sirius did and the details of how Peter betrayed him. You've got the right idea, and after spending oh lets see 1:49AM now from 5PM reading your story "Once Again" then this one, I can by-far say your the best HPFF writer I've ever had the pleasure to read. I'm in love with this story. Goodjob and keep it up!Author's Response: Oh God, you actually read all of Once Again? I worship all those who do it. You have no idea how happy that makes me. As for your praise, it only makes me like you more. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and leave a comment. It's extraordinarily nice of you to do. Thankyou. Report Review
Oh wow. This is so beautifully written. Absolultey flawless. This is great. But one thing..how come when he found Lily he didn't find Harry. She died in front of his crib right?Author's Response: Yeah, she did die in front of the crib. What I wanted to incorporate was the fact that Sirius was just so shocked and mindblown that he forgot about Harry for a few minutes.
Thanks for the review! Report Review
aw. he wanted to raise harry but...but... aw thats just so sad=[ you are such a good writer and yesd please CONTINUEAuthor's Response: Aw, yeah, he did. And he could have if Hagrid had not come to the rescue.
Thanks so much for the praise. I really appreciate it.
I do plan to continue this, even if I haven't updated in MONTHS! But, the next chapter is in the making. That's gotta count for something.
Thanks, again! Report Review
wow this chapter totally remind me of how much i HATE peter >=[ and that whole hand in the cement thing was a really great touch, i loved how you wrote Sirius's reactions towards their deaths very realistic and very well... sirius-ish :-PAuthor's Response: Oh yes, I do agree. He's a...well, I'm not sure what swear words are allowed here. But you can use your imagination.
Sirius' little spiff towards the end was extremely sad to write. I had a fun time writing it. I'm really happy that you liked it. =] Report Review
so sad. its nice to hear sirius's side of the story. most people dont think of how he must have felt. or, at least people ive talked about it to. even of it is fiction, its immensely gripping. great work! Author's Response: Thank you so much! I try to include Sirius as much as possible. You'll see a lot of him in the last chapter. I have no idea why I'm talking about that so much. Haha, thanks so much for the review, again. I really appreciate it! Report Review
Oh! He was so, so close! If he'd been able to keep Harry, how different things would have ended out... But now he's going after Peter, and he'll go to Azkaban and everything.
I don't hate it. It's sad, but I really like it. So I'm telling you so. *Smile*Author's Response: Ah, I know! He was so so so close. It could have all ended happily with them living happily ever after.
Thanks for the review. You're so cool for leaving it. =] Report Review
I think you did a great job capturing the emotion he's feeling. This is just the way I pictured it, actually, when I read originally. I especially like how the sentences get shorter and more repetitious when he's running to James and Lily's house. Because he's getting more and more stressed and desperate... It really conveys what he's feeling then.
Thank you.Author's Response: Aw, really? I tried extremely hard with this chapter/story.
I am so so happy that you liked my sentences. I was trying to explain exactly how Sirius was thinking and reacting.
Haha, don't thank me. I should be thanking you! Report Review
Poor Sirius, and I get what you mean about it being so sad, Sirius and Harry were almost a proper family... =(
Very very well done once again!
Love xX mOoNdAnCe XxAuthor's Response: Awww, I know! It's all so horrible. They were just SO close!
I was heartbroken while writing it.
Either way, thanks for reading this! Report Review
I've been meaning to read this for a while and all I can say is WOW!
That was so dramatic but strangely beautiful, and it really made me feel not just for Sirius, but for James and Lily, too.
Love xX mOoNdAnCe XxAuthor's Response: Aw, thanks so much! I really appreciate you saying that. I tried to convey as much emotion as I could into the chapter.
Thanks for reading it=] Report Review
oh also in the next chapter...great i just love crying so much but i cant not read it! and if anyone hates it i think that it would be because of what happened not because of you. im so glad you remembered the motorbike part cause i'd been thinking about it the whole time... you know inbetween crying and reading. So yes in case you couldn't tell i liked it quite a bit. peace outAuthor's Response: Haha, I hate crying. I hated the situation...nearly started crying when I was writing it. Not a fun experience, believe me. I actually remembered the motorbike AFTER the first chapter was done...and Sirius had already disapparated. So I was like, how am I going to tie the motorbike into all this. So I came up with the idea that it would already be at Godric's Hollow. Slick, huh? hahaha. I'll get back to work on the third chapter! Report Review
ok so how you manage to make me cry in the first chapter is beyond me. effing Peter... i want to strangle him myself! urg! i think that you did a great job explaining his emotions and that everyone who matters (ha ha meaning me) gets it anyway
Author's Response: Oh, I'm sorry! I hate Peter too, don't worry. Please don't strangle yourself...don't want my story to be the source of trouble. I'm really glad that you like the story that much. Means a lot that you reviewed!! Report Review
well, I can only tell you one thing; I love this story!
it isn´t often people treat this aspect of the story of Sirius Black!
Please continue on this; I like it very much!
Quill88Author's Response: I thought that the subject of this story was addressed a delicate matter. I guess I'll have to continue writing. I'll get on it. I'm ashamed to say that I haven't even started the next chapter yet. I'll have to soon! Thanks for the review! Report Review
This one was nice, though I thought the first chapter was better. In here, some of the dialogue of Sirius's seems a bit forced or unnatural, in my opinion, sort of like it didn't flow in the best ways possible. (It wasn't bad, don't think I'm saying it was, but I felt that the characterisation in the first chapter was a little more believable than some of it in here.)
The numbness I could understand, but there seems to be an element of coldness in his voice as well when he's talking to Hagrid and, I don't know, it just feels a bit awkward to me.
The beginning bit of this chapter was quite good, though, and I think you did a good job in having the thought of Harry enter Sirius's mind. It's definitely believable that the initial shock of seeing first James and then Lily could make some of the most obvious things disappear from his mind. You also did a good job in describing the increase of numbness and emotions, but then it seemed like, once Hagrid entered, the chapter became a bit stilted, in my opinion.
Overall, though, it wasn't bad, and I look forward to reading more.
~MeganAuthor's Response: I definitely agree with a lot you said in this chapter. I thought my first chapter was a lot better than this one. For some reason, no matter how hard I tried, I coudn't get it to come out right. I was bringing Sirius out of character...and it bugged me because I couldn't get it. I was trying to get him to stop feeling. When he was with Hagrid...I wanted him to be slightly distrustful...and still getting over the shock of what had happened. I see what you're saying about the coldness. After I read this review I went and reread parts of that chapter...and I did notice that Sirius did come off as somewhat unfriendly. It was sort of intentional...but then again, it sort of wasn't. I don't really know. I hate to say this, but it was such a long time ago that I wrote that chapter. But, these reviews convinced me to start the third chapter. (I was considering abandoning this story) but it looks like I will finish.
Thank you so much for the review. It will really help in the future! Report Review
This was quite good, I must say. You did a good job in portraying the emotions of Sirius, as well as linking everything together -- It all made sense and followed in a logical manner, as well as hitting all the points that we know from canon.
That night is so interesting to tell from Sirius's point of view, in my opinion. I wrote it myself in the second half of my own one-shot, "Brothers."
~Megan, who's off to read the next chapter.Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! I'm sorry that it's taken me forever to respond to your reviews. I tried to hit as many cannon facts that I could. Glad you noticed. :)
I'll have to go read your one-shot. Can't tonight...but probably tomorrow. Well...I started to read it...but never finished. Dont' worry. I will!
Thanks for the feedback. Report Review
God, how depressing.
I should never read this when I'm down, that much is obvious. Not that I'm too down right now. At least, I wasn't...*pouts*
No, that was really good. He was terribly close, wasn't he? I think that "numb" is a really good word to use to describe feelings. You know, of emptiness and hollowness and all of those other lovely things. ;)
I had actually almost completely forgotten about the Sirius/Hagrid encounter. Then I remembered and got excited (through my sadness of course). Poor Hagrid. He cares so much about everyone...and everyTHING.
And we all have a pretty good idea of where Sirius is headed off to next. Dang him! No, wait. Dang Peter! No, not even him. Dang Voldemort! Gosh dang it! haha.
Reviews do improve writing, don't they. Huh. I agree. :D
nana_banana_xx3Author's Response: Oh I know. It was such a depressing story. It got me thinking about all that took place that night...which just got me more upset.
I really think that "numb" pretty much sums up what Sirius was feeling at the time. I tried to make the readers understand what was going through his mind. It was hard, but hopefully I did it alright.
Yes, poor Hagrid. He'll always be there for everyone.
Ah, Sirius is going to track down a fellow acquaintance (sp?)...which only leads to trouble. Aww...he's going to get arrested. I'm going to go cry now.
Yes, reviews do improve EVERYTHING. haha.
Thanksss!! Report Review
oh wow. This was an excellent first chapter! So sad! It was an excellent touch mentioning the day when they set their hands in the cement. That made them seem even more real and human, and tugged at my heart strings a little bit! Poor Sirius...and he will get sent to Azkaban! GAH! I'm really looking forward to the next chapter.
nana_banana_xx3Author's Response: I know. It was so sad to write. I tried to make it seem as real as possible. I feel so horrible for Sirius.
I hate how you can only submit one chapter at a time...and then it takes around ten days before it's up. I'm focusing on my other story right now, so we'll see where this one goes. Report Review
This is so sad.
Okay, gonna go cry now...
Amazing job, though!Author's Response: Yes, it was rather terrible. I think I nearly cried when I wrote it. Oh well.
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Oh this is so good
It really pulled at my heartstrings
and it wasn't self pitying at all
Well doneAuthor's Response: Aww. I'm so glad. I was trying to show the emotion of the scene. I was afraid it would sound kind of self-pitying, but I'm happy you like it. Report Review
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